Sentimentality

[Haru Jeong]

A day off was a rare thing for Haru, and the day’s break was unexpected. Why he had found himself here of all places was unclear, his footsteps echoed as he worked his way down the concrete stairs, fingers trailed the bullet holes, his nose scrunched up at the smells, the building proper was burned down, but parts of the foundation still stood.

Memories permeated this place, reminders of who he had been, who he could be again if things went badly, who he would become if they took over. Screams echoed through the halls, the damage he had done, his hands covered his ears as he nearly collapsed, the people here had been murderers, criminals, yet he saved someone who was much the same, even if no longer as active as he once was.

The teen knew what he was as he stumbled through the torched halls, his eyes looked to the remains of a life that had once been his, a life he felt the regret for living settle deep into his stomach. What was he now? Was he still a monster? Was he a monster masquerading as a person? Or was it even a secret anymore.

He had saved Alik, but why? Alik was as guilty if not more than himself, he believed in reducing harm, yet let someone who had done so much walk away. He wanted to believe the harm was done, but the nightmares had begun once more, and he could no longer pretend he was certain.

He reached his target, a bedroom, he cringed as he reached it, he crouched down to the broken floorboards at the side of the bed, he knew exactly where to step and not fall through. He lifted an arm, he plunged it down, his elbow went through the board. If anyone else were to enter the ruins to explore they would find him, goal on his mind.

His hands reached into the hole, he drew out a safe, heavily enchanted, and one of the few things to survive the flames. He sat back and crossed his legs and to brush it off, he hesitated over the lock before he moved to spin it.

Click.

It took one fluid motion, his muscle memory was strong, even after nearly a year of pretending this did not exist, the items stared back at him from the box. Two vials, smoky blue mana rippled through them. He opened the messenger bag at his side and tucked them away, thankful for the number of decoy safes he had set up to protect this one from looters.

Below it were files, watch reports from that day when he was small, not even Alik had known what he hid in this one, not even Alik had known it existed, not even Linna knew about this now. He set them beside him as he continued to dig, records of his existence, inheritance, people knew he could have been given a normal life, they just had not cared.

The next file was the names of each member of the group that hunted people like him, with traces of the infernal within their souls. He cracked it open, half the names were crossed out. He would put a pin in that for later.

The last things in the safe were simply a pair of ornate daggers, silver blades shone as they caught the light once they were out of their sheaths. Haru’s breath caught in his throat as fingers traced the crest on them, a tear rolled down his face. These two knives had never seen blood and they never would outside a duel, the act would sully the person they represented.

He did not linger long, he only paused to look to a somehow intact photo in a frame, hesitation in his eyes for just a second, it was history, after all, a reminder of who he had been once upon a time, left there as a sick reminder of a past long gone. It was him, a year and a half younger, human, taken in that dingy apartment as he had leaned on the not-yet mob boss, he had yelled for him to look at the camera and say cheese, pizza had hung half out of his mouth. It was a time before everything went to hell, a reminder of before he had been pulled back into the life he had run from twice now. He barely realized for a moment that flames licked up the frame and picture within, his eyes glowed darkly, he had been a different person then, desperate for anyone to see past the dirt and grime, the helplessness and desire to be different.

He knew in that second why he chose to do it, that kid he had met still existed somewhere in there, he was not just a junkie or the monster their lives had turned him into. Somewhere the dumbass kid who bit off more than he could chew still existed, and deserved a second chance.

As it crumbled to ash, a hand reached up to the necklace around his neck and played with the ring, he knew now what it was supposed to be like, he knew what it meant to be better for someone other than himself, to have his dreams encouraged and encourage in return, he knew what love was, and it had not been what this place represented.

His feet quickly guided him back the way he came, he skipped the bottom stair and turned towards where a kitchen once stood. He ignored the additions from the unwanted company and made his way back out the door, barely a glance paid to the hidden staircase.

[Haru Jeong]

It wasn’t real. It couldn’t be.

Haru was back, he was back in those chains, his phone was broken and taken, screaming in pain as his flesh burned at the mix of blessed chains and holy water, used over abandoned consecrated ground by those who believed in order to make him unable to fight.

He had fought his chains, gripped by the fear of the end as it came for him like this, here, unable to go home, unable to save one little kid from his fate. The kid stared as Haru’s flesh burned, he periodically reached out a hand glowing with a light blue flame, he healed wounds he could reach, he tried to protect his savior, unaware yet about how much worse he had made the ordeal.

Each cry from the boy saw Haru clench his teeth and take the pain, he refused to scream and give satisfaction to their captors. Red eyes faded to brown then back even as he tried to suppress his abilities to limit the pain being inflicted on his form. Black hair fell into the face of the criminal, not yet as demonic as he later became.

He needed to live, but did he deserve to? He had become the monster once more he had tried to escape; that was why he had been out, that’s why he’d seen the little boy, that was why he’d seen Seo. That was why he had been there to try and save him, and that was why they had gotten him too, he was trying to be better, even if he only could from within the shadows.

The cries and pain continued and remained, until the day they hauled the little one out to his buyer. Then it was just pain, the promise of someone paying a high price for the older ringing as they broke his spirit.

His reprieve had come, a reprieve he did not deserve; it came when they tried to move him, the only reason he was found being a book tied to his spirit, those who touched it feeling the immense pain and guilt the teen harbored within his soul.

You should have had your guards.

The words echoed, and in a moment he found himself sat in an office listening to a lecture, “I was working, guards would have revealed me, put me at greater risk, I was just trying to save a kid!” His hands shook as he stood, tears had rolled down his face, the office was a place for business, it was not a place for emotions, yet this conversation had happened, here, in a place where Haru held none of the power; it was not the first talk of this nature.

Alice, we need to talk, I need to borrow your identity.

That had shifted Haru’s methods, he had borrowed the identity of one of his most sadistic assassins that worked for them as well as one of his oldest friends. They had shared their identities and methods for years, their kills attributed to the same assassin, even their targets fitting the same profile. She was the Cheshire Cat, he was the Reaper, they had been brought in together and she had practically raised him, when she was around, which was rare in itself.

They had become one and the same, vigilantes taking out the worst from within, taking out those who would hurt innocents or children, the other never realized the truth behind the pair he had put out a hit on, he would forever believe it had been just the cat.

Wake up

————

Haru awoke in a cold sweat in the Tower of Earth, he spared a glance over to his partner as he hugged his shoulders, tears streamed down his face. She always saw the best in him, if he had told her about this she would have understood why he did what he had. He wanted to tell her, he just did not know how to.

He slipped from the bed, he had made sure to tuck her in to make sure she would not be cold from the drafty stone tower.

His feet carried him silently to the boy’s room, “Seo?” His voice was quiet, even as he sat on the boy’s bed. He was quiet until he felt a small hand grip his shirt, foxfire blue eyes stared up at the older, “Hey kiddo.”

The little one smiled weakly at the man who would someday become his dad, he tilted his head and let go of the fabric to sign, “>You’re cold.<” the words were simple, even as he scooted to make room for Haru, the two were close, Haru already saw him as his son, the boy looked up to the duo as his parents.

Haru leaned back on the bed, he made sure he was comfy, “You couldn’t sleep either huh?” His voice was gentle, fingers combed through the boy’s hair as he snuggled up, “Want me to tell you a story?”

There was a small nod before Haru started his tale, he never read out loud, he would never tell, but he still struggled with the written word, and he hated that he needed to depend on the magic that eased his struggles.

“Once upon a time…” The story was quiet, Seo slowly fell asleep against Haru’s side as he told it, the story of a knight saved by a princess, the story of how fate chose for once to be kind. It was their story.

Eventually, Haru fell asleep as well, the small child who was just as prone to nightmares as he was held close to his chest, he would protect him from their demons and make sure he slept through the rest of the night.