Tara wrote:Dearest Over-G,
I am writing today with some questions I have about the party you are throwing, that I hope you can answer. Are you ready? Because I am! Okay! Here goes!
1. What happened to Rand? How did you overthrow him? Was it something he said? Are you very very VERY mad like I get when Grenny says dumb things and I jump on his back and drum on his head? Was there vast quantities of bloodloss? Did he expire because if so I plan to resurrect him so he can rechallenge you for the ancient rite of OverTwerp and I will laugh when he punches you. Ha ha! I am laughing now just thinking about it! No, but seriously, is he dead? I mean like DEAD-dead? Not quasi-dead? I hope not. He is nice to me and I like him. I don't always like you so much. But only sometimes.
He was alive when I defeated him, but I cannot say with certainty if he is or is not now as I have not seen him since. He did look a little depressed, so you never know.
Tara wrote:2. This is my sad face Over-G
This is what I look like when you make me sad. In the face.
I have seen your sad face before. It appears to be less than happy.
Tara wrote:2a. Are you feeling very sorry about making me sad in the face? You should! You're the Over-G now! You have obligations!
I'm not. My obligations are to just be awesome, which I am.
Tara wrote:3. I miss Rand. Do you think he misses me? Oh wait he can't miss me because HE IS NO LONGER ALIVE! WHAT DID YOU DO WITH HIS BODY YOU FIEND?! YOU BURIED HIM UNDER THE CEMENT WHERE YOU PUT YOUR FIRST WIFE DINCHA?!
See answer to #1. Also, I cannot speak for whether or not he misses you, but perhaps his aim is off?
Tara wrote:3b. Okay, I am sorry. I did not mean to use the caps. Jared? He's my IT guy. He says that using the caps in the communications with the meatpuppets on the Stratoswebs is considered screaming. I said "I know that, dummy. I AM SCREAMING!" And I was screaming at you just then, Over-G. You should know that.
Normally when people are screaming at me it's usually along the lines of "YES, YES, OH GOD, OH G! YES! MORE! OH GOD, OH GOD, OH GOD!" so I am used to hearing screaming.
Tara wrote:4. I am not screaming anymore. I'm thinking of what to wear to the Overparty. You will have to excuse Anubis' absence, though. He has to work that weekend so he will not be attending and since you murdered Rand in cold blood and ain't nobody gonna find where you planted him, he's OUT as a date. I will have to call Sandy and see what he's doing. This is assuming Sandy isn't dead too, you sicko. I've seen the way you've eyeballed him in the past. Don't think I haven't!
You are not screaming anymore because you are not with me. Wear clothes. I will not be saddened by the absence of Anubis. At all. Ever. Sandy is an acceptable replacement.
Tara wrote:5. Do you think if Sandy stands me up you might tell me where Rand is buried so I can plant Sandy there (assuming he's still breathing and then I kill him for standing me up) and this way when the coppers find the bodies they won't know there are two of us that killed? They will think it's a serial killer! We haven't had one of those in Rhy'Din for a loooooooooooong time! Ooh! I'm getting all excited in the brainpan now!
I might recommend a graveyard. Most killers in Rhydin are third rate, unimaginative and unimpressive, so it doesn't surprise me that we have not had one recently. But then, I don't tend to keep up with the local news.
Tara wrote:6. Uh oh. Don't tell my stupid brother Gren that I said I would kill Sandy for standing me up because he accuses me of murdering EVERYONE in the known universe and that's just silly. I can't be in two places at one time. I'm not a multi-tasker AT ALL, G-Over.
Gren loves you for who you are, all your faults and all your positives. Don't worry about him.
Tara wrote:7. I'm going to insist that the other party attendees don't try to shoo little Horus out to sea because he will be with me. Our baby boy can't swim and as it is Anpu was nervous about the baby pool I bought for him because he said he might drown or I might. Anpu is overprotective, bless his black heart.
Insist politely. I would not like to have another incident like the last one with you at my party celebrating my greatness.
Tara wrote:8. I'm terrified of drowning.
Don't swim.
Tara wrote:8c. I can't swim.
Don't swim.
Tara wrote:8 1/2 z. There won't be swimming activities will there?
Yes, but you don't have to swim.
Tara wrote:Almost 9. Oooooooooooooh God, I hope I don't get wet! I will get ANGRY in the face if that happens!
Stay away from the water.
Tara wrote:9 Finally. I noticed in all the images of the mediocre food you will be serving that there doesn't seem to be any utensils or like dishes but everything seems to be in fruit which has been carved into bowls. Is there some meaning behind this that I am missing here? Can't you people afford good china? You don't have to be so cheap, G-man-Over. It's a PARTY. You make sacrifices when you invite people to your shindigs! And yeah it might mean you eat some noodles and rice for dinner the rest of the month if you have to just to afford it but you don't cheap out on your guests!
There will be utensils, napkins, plates, bowls, etc. there for the guests. One does not generally share those images because they are boring.
Tara wrote:10. I forgot what else I was going to ask because I am on the roof looking for my diamond earring Anpu bought me on the anniversary of the time we first hunted together. We were up here the other night, things got a LITTLE out of hand when he started to get frisky and the next thing I know my diamond is going down the chimney with me along for the ride and Anpu said the roof is off-limits now. But, he meant AFTER I find my other earring. Don't tell him I was up here neither. You always tell people the things I say when I don't want you to, Gover.
Check the fireplace for the diamond. Also, I don't reveal our conversations to people because there's nothing that anyone needs to know.
Tara wrote:And don't forward this letter to that insane assistant of yours neither! I don't like her! I don't know her enough to hate her but I'm fairly sure if I did know her I would like her and I don't want to!
My insane assistant, I believe you're referring to Gabby, is scarier than you. So I cannot promise I won't share this letter if she asks. However, I do not anticipate her asking, unless she thinks it's an order form for cupcakes.
Tara wrote:I knew you first! You are who I complain to! NOT HER!
I think you actually complain to anyone who will listen, to be terribly honest.
Tara wrote:I have to go tell Jewelsie now what I'm wearing so we don't clash.
Remember, clothes. Wear clothes. Made from some type of cloth.
Tara wrote:Bye Gover!
It's Tara Rynieyn-soon-to-be-Karos!
Bye!
He will never marry you. Sorry to break that to you.
Bye!
)
