Challenge for Old Market

[Gren Blockman]

Dear Sabine,

I hereby challenge you for the Barony of Old Market. I look forward to our impending challenge.

Gren Blockman

[Tara]

Grenny,

I know you're still angry with me because I accused you of trying to suffocate your pocket girlie but I want you to know, despite you being the most horrible brother ever in the history of brothers (and I should know, I have like three hundred and forty of them, not counting the one I had a BRIEF romantic entanglement with and accidentally killed in his sleep with a claw hammer) I am going to try REALLY HARD to be at your challenge to support you.

But! In case I don't make it here are some tips for you I thought up while cleaning up the remains of a highly aggressive POISONOUS garden gnome outside your tree dwelling. It melted, spontaneously, and I was NOT at fault no matter how hard you try to pin this one on me, you bastard!

Anyway, I later fed him into my woodchipper, thus recycling him into a purplish sort of mulch that I thought would look nice around all your tulips so that's where I sprinkled him. I don't know WHAT the green stuff mixed in with it is. Probably his venom.

* Show her your GRR face. Everyone's afraid of that!

* Don't talk about your personal problems while fighting. Like how you almost suffocated your pocket Izira. That's not attractive.

* Maybe eat light prior since you are known to have a queasy tummy? So, Grenola Blockmans and Ho-Ho's are OUT.

* Remember your theme song. If I am not there to actually sing it to you, you should call up the memory of me singing it last time in your mind and this will easily secure your victory because if there's anyone that can get a warrior like you fighting like his life depended on it, it's me.

* Can you maybe spare five or so silver nobles so I could buy a new dress for the event? Your Rhy'Din Rewards card is maxed out AGAIN and every time I call they ask me for this stupid "pin" code and since you did not share this information with me and the fact that you neglected to mention it, is pissing me off royally, it's either you buy me a new dress or I put your head in the waffle iron again.

OK that's all I can think of for now. Some wacky guy's been hanging around all damn day, asking about you and I don't like his tone so I'm gonna drag him up your tree and see if he can fly.

If not, don't worry about getting dinner later, I'll be serving him. With pickles.

Good luck Baby Blockhead!

Love,

Your older (way prettier, way more intelligent and way more talented) sister Tara

[Gren Blockman]

you being the most horrible brother ever in the history of brothers (and I should know, I have like three hundred and forty of them, not counting the one I had a BRIEF romantic entanglement with and accidentally killed in his sleep with a claw hammer)

Now how am I supposed to sleep tonight?

here are some tips for you I thought up while cleaning up the remains of a highly aggressive POISONOUS garden gnome outside your tree dwelling. It melted, spontaneously, and I was NOT at fault no matter how hard you try to pin this one on me, you bastard!

That was Ramsey! I was paying him to guard my spring onions so I could make onion soup! YOU'VE KILLED AGAIN!

if there's anyone that can get a warrior like you fighting like his life depended on it, it's me.

Yeah, I'll give you *that* one.

Your Rhy'Din Rewards card is maxed out AGAIN and every time I call they ask me for this stupid "pin" code and since you did not share this information with me and the fact that you neglected to mention it, is pissing me off royally

The pin is 680. It's easy to remember because it's the Number of the Beast added to the number of times you've tried unsuccessfully to kiss me.

So far this challenge is just going wonderfully.

[Tara]

Grenerith the Hornless,

Why are you repeating the things I say to you back to me like I am deaf, dumb and blind, huh? That is creepy. Stop that at once, you insufferable little brother person!

I would like it on the record in the Spheres of Bore Historical Archives (they call it that, I bet, those weirdo meat puppet scribes) that you are MORE concerned with Ramsey's health (what kind of name is that for a garden gnome -- Good God Simon!) rather than the fact that I do NOT have the proper attire to attend this event!

Where is my money?! Do you have ANY idea how silly I will look if I am caught IN PUBLIC wearing the same thing TWICE in a year?! What the hell is the matter with you?!

I did that once, back when I was engaged to Asher and we were LAUGHED out of the Vampire Tavern! And I WAS an actual vampire at the time! Long story. I'll tell you some other time. But suffice it to say, Asher was NOT a vampire, I'll have you know and they were perfectly willing to let him stay but made me leave because I committed that fashion faux-pas! Which I wrote a letter of complaint to the lead vampire dude about and who NEVER responded to me because he was hit by a train!

But always there exists this lingering question in the back of my mind, ever since that day....

Did he READ my letter and was going to EXCUSE my wearing the same thing twice prior to being exploded apart by a speeding locomotive?

Can you imagine if I have to go through that a SECOND time with the idiots around here?!

These are people that can barely be trusted to dig the crust out of their eyes each day and wash their faces prior to entering the circular contraptions, you think they're going to understand WHY I do not have a pretty dress to cheer you on in?!

Nay.

They will judge me.

You know I do not like when they judge me.

I get so anxious and my brainpan gets all squiggly.

I am not high maintenance. I have basic requirements which must be met so I can survive. You should do your part and see that I get what I need to be a better sister and help YOU be a better Make-Believe warrior.

Also, I will need you to take off your pants.

I have to speak to Izira in the pocket.

As you tend to start screaming like a banshee whenever I get near your groin, surely you can understand this simple request, yes?

So wrap up the cash in the pants and have it delivered to my tree dwelling that is situated across from yours but I would suggest you use the zipline I had installed because I recently made some upgrades to my motion-detecting turret guns and there's like NO squirrels left in the vicinity.

I think I even took out a pixie as difficult as that might be to imagine. I could swear I heard this tiny little shriek of terror and then nothing.

You'd think with the damned things being so small it'd miss but this new system is just nine kinds of incredible!

Okay I have to go now. That wacky guy isn't going to cremate himself.

Love you!

Sendmymoney!

Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[Gren Blockman]

Dearest Tara who resides in H-E-Double Hockey Sticks . . .

I repeated back to you what you said for several reasons. Number One, maybe you could understand what you sound like when you write such things. Number Two, because I can scarce believe you said them myself. Finally, so that I can organize your rambling missives into some kind of understandable framework.

Apparently I failed on all counts.

Anyway, I refuse to give up my pants or my groin. Those regions are off limts to everyone but Izira. And I'd rather not talk about my groin on the public boards any more, thank you very much.

Considering my credit score has now officially reached negative triple digits, I am not giving you any more access to my (non-existing) money than I have to. I suggest you get Anubis to buy your dress, as he's supposed to be the love of your life and all. Tell him you have to get dressed up to go look for Horus, of whom I hope has made it back to the swamps safe and sound by now.

Non-horned and wearing pants,
Gren Blockman

[Sabine]

Seriously? I have things planned! So many things! Like appointing my Squire and trying to bring life back to the Old Market area! Like using my status to raise funds for a special needs charter school!

I look forward to stabbing you in the face.

Let's discuss times and dates.



-Sabine Gabrielle

[DUEL Gabby]

Sorry for being late to this corkboard party but...This challenge is valid and may proceed. I love Sabine's enthusiasm for the stabbity, she's all "grr grr I will cut you, grrrrrr!" It's fabs. Everyone should be so enthused and do more cutting...or slashing!



:::A list of challenge officials can be found tacked to the board:::

((Friendly reminder regarding the amended rule: The Challenger is responsible for acquiring the services of a caller but both parties must agree upon the chosen caller. Please obtain one as early as possible and post to the challenge thread when one is secured. Thanks!))

[Gren Blockman]

We'll be having this challenge on Friday, May 15 at 9 (EST).

[Gren Blockman]

Claire has agreed to call this challenge. See you there!

[DUEL Claire]

Tonight we met up to settle the Old Market challenge between challenger and Madness Runner Up Gren Blockman versus Baron Sabine Gabrielle.

Gren dueled under his Perrigan's Rangers banner of grey and forest green with no second and Izira as his Lady of Honor.

Sabine dueled under a standard of black on black with Salvador Delahada as her second and Canaan Devillier as her man of honor. The Baron selected a best of three format.

Here's the breakdown.

Code: Select all

Premier 1: Gren aims for Sabine's wondnerful hairstyle and she walks right on into it (HC/FSS) 1 Gren
Premier 2: Sabine seeks to meet Gren down low. I don't think that parry is what she was expecting! (FCP/LC) 2 Gren
Premier 3: Sabine doubles up but he's ready with a tidy bookend parry for another point (FLP/HC) 3 Gren
Premier 4: Gren brings it in low and it's Sabine's turn to deny the ranger. The Baroness is on the board! (LC/FCP) 3-1 Gren
Premier 5: We've got ourselves a break in the action as Gren sidesteps and Sabine braces. (FSS/SH) 3-1 Gren
Premier 6: With some fancy footwork, Sabine dances her way around Gren's parry and closer to his lead (FCP/FSS) 3-2 Gren
Premier 7: Gren goes in for the kill but comes up short when he meets Sabine's high parry (TH/FLP) 3 All
Premier 8: Both swing low for a whole lot of clang-thunk. And no points for either (LC/LC) 3 All
Premier 9: With a fine high parry, the Baroness brings us to match point (HC/FLP) 3-4 Sabine
Premier 10: Gren tries to triple up but Sabine pulls the bookend on him to edge a little bit closer to victory in the first match. (LC/CP) 3-4.5 Sabine
Premier 11: Though Gren gets another point down low, Sabine's going for the kill up high and the trade gives the first match to the Baroness. (HC/LC)
((Final: Sabine .def. Gren Blockman, 5.5-4 in 11))

Interlude 1: Gren's down low again but Sabine's ready with a neat round panty. Er. Parry. Yeah, parry. (LC/FCP) 1 Sabine
Interlude 2: A reversal of fortunes, it's Gren's turn to fend off Sabine's low attack (FCP/LC) 1 All
Interlude 3: Looks like Gren's having duck on a stick tonight. (LC/FDU) 2-1 Gren
Interlude 4: Sabine gets stabby but Gren nopes his way right outta there (FSS/TH) 3-1 Gren
Interlude 5: Sabine's guarding high but Gren's down low for match point (LC/FLP) 4-1 Gren
Interlude 6: And that wasn't a joke, we really have the Overlord, Archmage, and Diamond all in the house. Say hi! Also, say hello to Match Three, because that's where we're going as Gren blocks Sabine's high cut for the win (FLP/HC)
((Final: Gren Blockman .def. Sabine, 5-1 in 6))

Finale 1: Gren does the fancy pants dance for the opening point (FSS/TH) 1 Gren
Finale 2: Yes, like that! Gren's going low for a tribute and Sabine adds a skull for the skull throne (LC/HC) 2-1 Gren
Finale 3: Who knew the Baroness of Old Market could twerk? That's gonna be all over the Rhydin-web later (HC/FDU) 2 All
Finale 4: Gren's back to dancing but Sabine's gotten wise to his shenanigans and trips him up (FSS/LC) 2-3 Sabine
Finale 5: Parry party! Gren high, Sabine low, fanning their fans (FLP/FCP) 2-3 Sabine
Finale 6: Sabine gets a little stab happy but Gren's ready to tie her up. It up. The match. Yeah. (SH/TH) 3 All
Finale 7: Gren goes for the legs, probably because they're nice legs, you know. But Sabine, well, she's not a fan of that. He gets a whole lot of nope in that parry and Sabine's at match point! (LC/FCP) 3-4 Sabine
Finale 8: They're so fancy, you already know. They're in the fast lane from L.A. to Toky-no... points that is. (FSS/FSS) 3-4 Sabine
Finale 9: I dunno what [bleep] Gren was giving Sabine but according to the people out here, it's bad enough to warrant running him through with that blade of hers. Well, she seems to be a good listener, I guess, because that's what it looks like she's doing. Right on under Gren's high cut to claim her first defense (HC/TH)
((Final: Sabine .def. Gren Blockman, 5-3 in 9 to retain Old Market.))

In three duels Sabine keeps Old Market and Rand keeps his only loyal baron. Well defended Sabine and well tried Gren. Wonderful fight, both of you.