Internship-An ongoing documentary of life behind the scenes

[Kenzi]

Hello all of my adoring fans -- all three of you. Shout out to my girls Tay-Tay, Leez, and Rhia. Also to my roomies, if you boys are reading this -- if not, you suck. Pick up your skank's panties off the kitchen counter next time, Ricky. Nobody wants to accidentally touch those when they are grabbing for the coffee first thing in the afternoon. Just because half of Rhydin has touched your girl's undies doesn't mean the rest of us want to. Just sayin'.

Annnyway. The whole point of this diary blog is to document my job as new intern for the RhyDin Rewind. Woo! Go me! I am officially a part of the hottest radio talk show in Rhydin. Okay, okay...yes, I know what you are thinking. Maybe I am just fetching things for Seirichi and Harris, and washing Seirichi's panties but you know you are totally jealous that you aren't touching her drawers. Nasty pervs.

I was totally mentioned on the radio this morning, too. I'm famous now. Well, I am! Have you had your name dropped over the radio airwaves? Didn't think so; stop being jelly. Sure, I was called a "lapdog" and a "wee lass" but I think those were just pet names given out of gratitude for the hard work I have already done. I'm an optimist so don't infect me with all of your pessimism and reality. I mean sure, I ruined a new manicure trying to get barbecue sauce out Harris' favorite boxers-- not sure how it got all over the crotchetal opening (it isn't nice to speculate and gossip), but all jobs have their challenges. Also, my knee is feeling better already after some ice and pain killers. Seirichi even apologized for accidentally tripping me when I walked past carrying her box of donuts, their coffee, and the basket of laundry. And all of you guys thought she would be mean to me! In yo face!

While I would love to sit here and make you all jealous with more stories of my glamorous new job, I have to go scrub the toilet. Apparently Seirichi can't eat nine donuts for breakfast anymore without getting ill because of morning sickness. Poor thing.

Oh, before I go! Yes, Jax...Nell Holiday really is as hot in person as she sounds on the radio. She has awesome fashion sense too. Sequined hotpants are soooo...well, hot. No, I didn't have her autograph my boob so don't even ask...I knew you were thinking it.

~Toodles, bitches!

P.S. I took a pic for you guys. Bow down and worship!

[Kenzi]

I woke up this morning to the sound of gunfire again, or so I thought. Did I mentioned how damn early I woke up?!?! Okay, I totally get your love for these little weird Earth realm holidays or whatever but I studied this shit too and YOU PEOPLE HAVE THE WRONG TIME OF DAY. It isn't supposed to be the wee morning hours of today but THE END OF THE DAY-- when people are trying to put their kids to sleep but the rest of us normal, non-vertically challenged people (stfu Ricky), are still awake. Get it right or I am gonna send the King and Queen of the Outback out in the freakishly early morning hours to set off some fireworks on your ass. Well, someday I will, as soon as Seirichi learns my name and stops calling me Fire Crotch. Yeah, like I haven't been hearing that since I was like twelve. You do NOT get points for originality, Queen Seirichi.

So, late last night as I was washing Harris' laundry at the Dirty Suds (that is a laundromat and not a Badside beer joint), I totally met a new fan. Well, he wasn't a fan yet but I think he totally is now. Or, he will be. Whatever, same difference! He's going to be fighting at The Brawler on Saturday night against a guy named Joe the Bruiser. OooOOOoo sounds scary, doesn't he? Well, before you go bet all your silver on tough guy, I heard he is a little too old to still be fighting. That's right, I just gave you an insider tip, you can thank me with cashews and gumdrops.

I get a free drink for every fan I send to The Brawler to watch Magic Mike vs. Joe the Bruiser, so do me a favor and color a cute little pink heart over the middle knuckle of your right hand so he knows I sent you and go show some support! Also, I would appreciate a ride home from someone and possibly door service since I plan to be twenty sheets to the wind from ALL OF THE DRINKS THAT HE IS GOING TO BUY ME. Since, y'know, all of you will be showing up.

And yes Tay, I did call him Magic Mike. No, I didn't give him that nickname! It was embroidered right there on his butt. Not that I was looking at his butt! I saw it on his shorts while he was folding them. Wait-- why am I having this conversation on my blog diary? Oh that's right, because I know how your dirty little mind works, girl, and I am shutting it down before I have to deal with your twenty questions.

Okay, that is all for now. I am going back to bed so I can get up at 6am to get to the donut shop and get the "earlies." That is what Seirichi calls the first batch of donuts. Apparently being the first batch makes them taste better. Who knew?

~Tata for now

[Kenzi]

Ugh! The intern needs a freaking intern! I'm so tired that I keep looking at the screen and zoning out.

Here's the scoop: I was up writing a paper until around 2 because I couldn't do it earlier because yesterday evening was one of my scheduled nights to shop for my client. So I finally get to bed and start snoring (this is an exaggeration because there is no way that I snore!), and then I get a phone call at 2:40. Care to take a guess who it was from? Well...it was the most annoying voice to hear in the middle of the night. No, the other most annoying voice -- there would be absolutely NO reason to hear Harris' voice in the middle of the night. You can't see it but I just shuddered.

Anyway! It was Seirichi and can you guess what she wanted? She wanted a dragon steak. Right, that's what I thought too. Who in the hell eats dragon steak in the middle of the night and where did she think I was going to get it? So, obviously there was no way I was going to be able to get that for her so I made up a meat substitute steak for her because ANIMALS ARE OUR FRIENDS, SEIRICHI...but when I got to her house, she was asleep. Her nanny was very unhappy that I would bring food in the middle of the night too. She said something about Seirichi's baby would be unhealthy and she stared A LOT. What is up with that chick?

So, I got into work this morning after two hours of sleep and she verbally assaulted me while inquiring why I didn't do my job and bring her what she asked for. She was threatening to fire me so I did the only thing I could do -- I blamed the nanny. That's right, you read that correctly. I threw the nanny under the proverbial bus. Maybe if she had been less rude, I wouldn't have.

After that was cleared up, I thought I was in the free and clear and then something absolutely horrifying happened. Seirichi grabbed my butt. And no, Ricky, I didn't like it. Pervert. I tried to keep very calm and pretend like it didn't happen and walked away slowly. I think if I had tried to run away like my mind was screaming at me to do, it would have just fueled her advances because she strikes me very much as someone that likes to chase her prey.

I thought it would be Harris I had to worry about when I signed that contract that said I wouldn't sue the station if I was sexually harassed. It never occurred to me that it would be the other one.

Someone show some love and bring me coffee. The stuff here at the station has pee in it. I have nooo idea how that happened. You can't see it, but my halo is glowing.

Later~

[Kenzi]

So, I am going to end up being late to The Brawler probably and here is why: Seirichi made me swim in her pool all day long. Crazy, right? She wanted me to entertain her four year old daughter. Kellie is an absolutely delightful child really but her nanny. O-M-G...totally weird. And what is even weirder, Seirichi was actually nice. She didn't yell at me even once and was just totally laid back. But the nanny -let me tell you about the nanny.

Her name is Nayun or Crazy Stalker Chick or something. I showed up with some jelly donuts for Kellie, because what kid (or adult) doesn't like jelly donuts? The nanny just starts in on me about how I am going to make the little girl obese and have health problems and how she won't be able to fight like a woman should. Can anyone say psycho? For real. Seirichi told the nanny to let Kellie have the donut but apparently the nanny wasn't going to let it end because she continued to stare at me the. entire. time. I. was. there. Ugh!

I tried to leave a few times and Seirichi made me get back into the pool to play with the kid so now I have wet hair and twenty minutes to get to The Brawler to watch Magic Mike fight. Just my damn luck...meet a really interesting, cute guy and I have to show up looking like something pulled out of a swamp. If any of you make fun of me at all...I will cause you bodily harm. Seriously.

Later. Swamp thing out~

[Kenzi]

So, I totally blew off posting an entry yesterday. Why, you ask? Because I was totally hungover. Actually, I was still drunk by the time I got home. I don't even remember coming home or how I got home but there was a note laying on my bed, along with a picture, and I was still in the clothes I wore to The Brawler except for my boots. If I tell you who left the note, you all will totally be harassing me...but just know he was apparently a total gentleman!

The picture was of some redheaded girl about to kiss another girl. Totally wasn't me, don't care what he says, because I wasn't wearing a black shirt that night. I mean, it looks like me but seriously, I had on a white shirt. It was sorta sweet that he "confiscated" the pic from the guy that took it. That's what he said in the note...that he confiscated it. I wonder how that happened, exactly. Did he beat the guy up for me?

Magic Mike is totally my knight in shining armor. Okay, heavily dented armor...he was totally wailing on Joe the Bruiser that night. I definitely wouldn't want to be on his bad side. Hell to the no.

Speaking of the fight, did you all win a lot of money with my insider tip? Well, I won a lot of free drinks because you guys showed up. <3 to you guys! Well, I wasn't loving you yesterday when I woke up...I was cursing the air you breathe and wishing lots of warts and boils on you all. And bad hair.

So, all in all, Saturday night was a total blast. If any of you see that hottie Mike out and about be sure to congratulate him on his win and for championing yours truly.

Now I gotta get back to work. I hid in the bathroom to write this because I haven't gotten even five minutes of a break since I got here at 5AM. Ugh. I think I need to swear off drinking and dangerous men that lure me to scary bars so I am not too tired to do my job. Stop laughing, Leez...it could happen.

And just to make you all happy - I took a picture of the note and photo that he left. You tell me if that looks like me or not. I swear it totally can't be.

[Kenzi]

July 9th

I am about to ragequit. For real. My boss just told me that I will be painting the side of the station that everyone (including me) painted graffiti on for the One Word Saga .

Not only will I be painting the entire flipping wall, I will being doing it while wearing a bikini with the station logo on the ASS of it. That's right. My boss is using my body as a marketing tool. Never fear, though. That doesn't make me a real whore because I DON'T GET PAID TO DO THIS SUCKY JOB.

If any of you adore me, come out tomorrow and help or keep me company. Bring drinks. Lots and lots of drinks.

[Kenzi]

A shout out to all of you that came out today to support me during my servitude to Harris. You were all such an inspiration with your pointing and laughter.

Yes, Ricky, I did have KLIT written on my rear end. You had p***y written ALL OVER YOU when you ran from me like a scared little girl. Don't think I will forget how mean you were to me today. I know where you sleep, jerk.

The booze was flowing and the music was pumping. It was kind of like a fun little block party except...I was working my ass off and melting in the heat. Though, I should thank Mike for that hose down. That was mighty kind of you, man. You can't see it but I am flipping you off right now. Also, don't think I didn't see you taking pictures, Magic Mike.

I'm exhausted and my entire body is screaming at me. So pleasant. I need more drinks, a hot bubble bath, a massage, and sleep for the next twelve hours. If any of you call me or bother me in any way (aside from providing for any of those above mentioned needs), I will hurt you.

Hasta luego, babies~


Oh! Here is a picture I confiscated; might as well give you all one last laugh and immortalize my shame.

[Kenzi]

So. One of you bothered me last night. While I was up to my chin in bubbles and hot water, drinking a fruity drink, listening to music, and generally just relaxing. You made me get out of my nice relaxing bath and get dressed and walk allll the way down to the Marketplace. Then you made me take off my shoes and put my feet in the fountain while you gave me a back rub and I drank a Badsider. Did you have a guilty conscience for hosing me down while I was painting? Well, I forgive you for that now.

Thank you so much for bothering me. Feel free to repeat that behavior.

Now, for the rest of you. Are you ready for a laugh? Well here it is...I was out of bed at 4:30 this morning. No, that wasn't because I hadn't gone to bed yet. It was because I had to meet someone to go for a run.

--It wasn't that funny, Tay. I can run. I didn't trip over my own feet even once. Granted, I tripped over my friend's feet but you all don't need to hear about that. I also almost made it back to my apartment on my own two feet.

Let me just say this: YOU ARE AN INSANE PERSON FOR RUNNING LIKE THAT EVERY MORNING. You know who you are -- the only person I know that runs like that. Thanks for carrying me the rest of the way, sorry about that. I really hadn't planned on colliding with you, falling, and busting up my knee. That's what you get for stealing my water gun and spraying me in the eyes with it!

Seirichi stared at me when I came into the station on a crutch and the only thing she asked me was if I would be able to get her the peanut butter cup ice cream that she wanted. Isn't it sweet that she was so concerned for my well being?

Well, that is all for now. I have ice cream to fetch and laundry to do. Then I have to go home and write a paper and after that I am walking the baby dragons. Man, those things grow so fast and it is really hard to keep them from eating small dogs at the dog park. I think their owner might want to consider freeing them soon.

Wonder how I am going to manage them while on this crutch. If any of you have suggestions, let me know!

Tata for now!

[Kenzi]

Oh. My. God. I am so tired. Why you ask? Oh, let's see. I have bosses that are horrible people. Really, really horrible.

Harris called me at 3AM and made me make posters for some person named after a piece of fruit. What the hell? Who is this Apple and why do I care about this fight or whatever she is gonna be in? Like, for real. 3AM. Who the hell thinks up this sorta crap at 3AM?

Apparently things aren't as cozy over at the Ichi-D'Artainian residence or she would have worn him out and he would have been asleep at that hour instead of obsessing about some other woman and then waking me up to pimp out her pictures.

Just a little advice here, Seirichi: Do it BETTER. For all of our sakes.

Oh, Miss Baroness of Ice Cream and Smiles -- if you want better publicity, get a better manager than Harris. If someone had given me more notice and hadn't awakened me thirty minutes after I went to bed...and I hadn't still been mildly intoxicated, I would have done a better job on your posters. Give me a call if you want better publicity; cash donations are appreciated and determine the quality of the work. What you got there was the middle of the night freebie.

I don't want to speculate about what you did for Harris to make him show such an interest to the point of waking up his BEST intern, but all I gotta say to you is: Do it BETTER. If you want higher quality, you gotta give more.

Now, who is going to be my favorite person today and bring me a latte? None of that decaf, sugar free, fat free nonsense either. I need the real deal today.

I will also be handing out kisses to anyone that throws something at Harris today. The better the injury to the blue haired annoyance, the better the kiss.

I declare this national Hate on Harris Day. Celebrate accordingly.

That is all for now, I have to go find some arsenic.

Toodles~

[Kenzi]

I was exceptionally impressed at the response to Hate on Harris Day. I had a ton of emails and replies to the blog but the most impressive display was all of the water balloons and splatterings of rotten fruit; it was amaaaazing. It was totally worth having to go back out and wash off the station walls with the power sprayer. It was also worth all of the chap stick I had to buy. Who knew all of that kissing could chap lips so fast?

The greatest moment of the holiday was when Seirichi said "Kenny, I got a great idea. You and me are going to go up on the roof and BLEEP up his whole BLEEPING day. Go tell Freckles to get him out of the station."

She's my boss, was I supposed to say no? Guess what happened when Freckles lured Harris out? WE DROPPED WATER BALLOONS ON THEIR HEADS. Ohhhh man. I wish you all could have heard Freckles barking; so so soooo hilarious. Harris punched out some poor guy that just had the bad luck to be standing nearby. Sorry, dude! Come by the station, let me take a picture of that shiner, and I'll give you a free KLIT AM-900 t-shirt!

The downside is that I had to kiss Seirichi because I said I would kiss everyone that threw something at Harris. Oh and Harris is going to rain hell down on my head in retaliation. So. Worth. It.

Here are a couple of pictures that Freckles took. Yes, the guy in the first one licked my cheek. So weird! The guy in the second picture was the winner of the Hate on Harris Day contest and not only did he get the best kiss, he also won a coffee mug, t-shirt, and a signed Seirichi calendar. He also had the honor of wearing two black eyes from the King of the Outback himself. Lucky guy, right?!

[Kenzi]

Guess what I did last night?

--It involved me in a bikini and muscles so sore this morning that I can barely move.

You guessed it! I cleaned the ENTIRE F***ING STATION CEILING. With a toothbrush. On a ladder.

I would like to say this now: Harris and Seirichi are nasty asses for their spit wad wars. If you don't know what spit wads are, let me enlighten your mind and broaden your horizon; it is good to know these gross facts.

Spit wads are pieces of chewed up paper held together with saliva. Hence the name SPIT wad. You put these in the end of a straw and blow on the other end and hit a target. No idea why in the hell they are all over the ceiling but somebody has bad aim.

I found the paraphernalia in Harris' desk drawer and took a picture of it and also of the ceiling to show you...THIS IS A REAL THING.



Now that we have that settled, I would like to offer a little bit more whine to this blog post. I am SO SORE. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to stand on a ladder with your arms raised up and your head tilted back and your back and leg muscles tightened so you balance yourself and don't fall off of the stinkin' ladder for almost an entire night. No? Then don't judge me for whining.

I had to wear a gas mask so that my whole face was covered because when those nasty things get scraped from the ceiling...where do you think they are gonna go? It's okay though; I welcome any excuse to wear my vintage Earth WWII gas mask. The thing is so cool. The reason they were invented, not so cool. My use of the mask? Genius. Freckles took a picture of me in it because she said it was "unbelievable." I'm not sure she meant that in a complimentary way.



Speaking of Freckles, she sat here all night as I cleaned the ceiling (and then the floor!) because Harris told her to babysit me and to take lots of pictures for me to post to my blog with a warning to others that might be out to prank him or behave "insubordinately." Who knew he even knew a word with more than two syllables? Anyway, Freckles did stay...and kept telling me I missed a spot and then made me pose in the bikini for pictures. I have NO idea what that even proves aside from the fact that Harris is a pervert and Freckles has set back the feminist movement by about fifty years by going along with it. Way to unite with your fellow sister, Freckles! NOT.

I think she might just still be mad because her new hairdo was ruined by the water balloons. Or that I made fun of her for barking. Seriously though? Man, I couldn't help it; it was hilariously cute.

Anyway, here are the pictures that are supposed to embarrass me into submission. Good luck with that, Harris.



Now, this is a call out to Magic hands -- I am in desperate need of a massage again. Also, you're a tough guy, maybe you could beat my boss up for me?

I need to go shower to get the smell of Bengay off of my skin before Mr. Magic arrives. It would really suck if he got that on his hands and rubbed his eyes like I did. My vision is STILL a little blurry! Anyway.

Tata, bebes!~

[Kenzi]

To baby myself after that whole cleaning the ceiling with a toothbrush fiasco, I decided to stay in last night and catch up on some Meet the Brockmans. I had a few too many - cupcakes that is; who can control themselves when they have a six pack from Topical Cupcakes? That place was crazy busy too but it was totally worth the walk and the wait because the staff was really nice and the cupcakes are out of this world!

I just gave you some free publicity, I expect some reimbursement! Free cupcakes for life will do nicely, thank you!

Now, back to Meet the Brockmans. Wow, I love that show. Those are the two most unlikely people to be together but they just have a sort of charm, don't they? I mean, I bet poor Glenn totally sleeps with a weapon under his pillow just in case Kelly gets a little too psycho when he is asleep but it's probably that sort of adrenaline rush that keeps things fresh between them.

The thing I totally love about that show is that it is based off of real people. The 73rd Diamond, Gren Blockman, and the Dragon's Gate squire, Molly MacLairish. Those are dueling titles for those of you as ignorant of such things as I was; I had to look up what the titles meant. Pretty impressive stuff.

Anyway, I have some advice for Mr. Diamond. The more you resist a woman, the more irresistible you become to her. If you really and truly want to get rid of Miss Molly, then you need to embrace the psycho. No, seriously! Buy her some cupcakes or pick her some flowers...unless that is flower murder in your mind. Wait, especially if that is flower murder, she will appreciate that! Anyway, if you stop being the prey and there is no longer a chase, my guess is that she will grow bored and either kill you or leave you alone. It's worth a try!

Well, that is all the dazzle I have for you this morning. Freckles told me that Harris and Seirichi have a special project for me.

--God, this is going to suck.

[Kenzi]

I have needed a few days to recuperate from my ordeal at the...nudist colony.

I am sure all of you got to listen to that shameful on location interview but you missed the best part. I had to go all kung fu on some people up in there. That "broccoli scene" that Seirichi mentioned? Let's just say it had nothing to do with broccoli; there were a whole lot of people kicked in the bare jewels, however.

Shout out to my boss, Bob...Thanks for bailing me out of jail and getting the assault and battery charges dropped. You are seriously The Man, even though you left me in there all night and then lectured me for the entire drive back to the radio station. I appreciated that a lot, really.

It was seriously self defense, though. If a group of people were coming at you with weapons drawn like that, wouldn't you be d**k punching them too? And nose punching. And eye scratching. And chair throwing. Ahem. I won't say I'm sorry about the mace, either. The cameras and sound equipment? Yeah, they are making me pay for the damages, that was one of the conditions of my release. Can't milk blood from a turnip but have fun trying!

What can I say? I was a little freaked out. I totally have some street cred on the porn set now, though. I think Suki "Whatever" Slider will think twice before trying to get me into one of her movies again. At least I really hope so. I don't want to go back to jail again.

As for Harris and Seirichi's shabby treatment of me: be careful what you eat and drink around the station. I don't get mad but I sure as f*** get even.

Anyway, that's all for now, I have a paper to write.

[Kenzi]

I've been a little busy the past couple of days. Like, when am I not busy? I swear if it wasn't for Silver Mark: Blue and a pot of coffee a day, I probably couldn't be so productive.

Check this: Harris wanted me to build life size statues of he and Seirichi...out of legos. Oh yeah, you read that correctly. So, I made them. I made them anatomically correct with big f***ing mouths and everything--red legos all the way. I was rather proud of how well the statues turned out but when I showed Harris, take a guess what he did. That blue haired arrogant bastard stomped on them and made me rebuild them. Then? He did it after the next two rebuilds. I apparently earned his approval the last time, however, because I heard him telling some guy to help me deliver the statues. I didn't realize, at the time, that we were going to be putting my statues in bathrooms at the local mall. Yes, you read that right. Man, my bosses are some real weirdos. Bathroom advertising is apparently the new thing and here is my slogan for it: HARRIS AND SEIRICHI ARE WATCHING YOU PEE.


On a much better note (one that won't make me bruise my knuckles by hitting the wall), I might end up with some free advertising. Magic Mike has sorta offered to "pimp" my blog.

How, you ask? No, Tay, the "hottie" isn't going to go around shirtless with my name painted all. over. those. massive. muscles. Ahem -- they need to adjust the temperature in the station. Hopefully Bob didn't have to forego paying the AC bill because he paid my bail. Seriously though, he offered to put the net address and "Kenzi's Blog of Awesome" across his backside. The trunks not his actual backside. He also told me to quote this: 'If you're not reading this blog, you suck.'"

Do you hear that, Rhydin? If you aren't reading my blog, you suck and are going to get beat up by Mr. Magic. By the way, he has a fight on Friday night. Everyone needs to be there and show some love, pink hearts on the knuckles again.

Speaking of fighting -- my boss won the freaking DQ AGAIN. That is like three freaking times. Don't tell him I said this or I will totes deny it but HOLY CRAP THAT IS PRETTY AWESOME FIGHTING. Of course, it did not help his arrogance. At All. And now the rest of us have to deal with his big head but I guess I would be pretty proud of myself if I could beat down some of the best fighters around and take that title.

Again-- I will hunt you down and shove your face into one of the toilets here (that I haven't cleaned) reserved just for swirlies if any of you breathe a word of this. No, Ricky, I'm not worried about him reading the blog because I am not entirely certain he can read.

Anyway, I'm out. Have another date to get ready for. Mhm, that's right-- another one. Look at me being all social and getting my nose out of the books.

Au revoir, mes amis. Kisses!

[Kenzi]

Some of you saw me at the Outback on Wednesday night while I was trying to learn a little something about dueling, titles, and whether some of the gossip I have heard is correct. I work in a radio station with the two biggest mouths in dueling so I don't feel that I probably get the most accurate information.

I was pleasantly surprised at how nice a lot of you were because that is definitely not what I have heard. I also met some ladies with reputations...for being completely awesome in their own ways!

I met the former Governor and Madam Extraordinaire (yes, that kind of madam), Kitty Helston. Talk about one colorful lady! She owns several bordellos among many other things. Yep, I finally got to use that word in a sentence without it sounding forced. I love it when that happens.

I also met Overlady Teagan Rielea! Apparently the Overlord title is the top title in the sport of Swords and not of Magic and the female Overlords are called Overladies. So she is the equivalent of the Diamond of Duel of Fists, though definitely less mean. Bet you guys didn't know all of that and are now totally impressed with my new found knowledge. Shout out to Bane for teaching me that. He earned that bag of Skittles I gave him in payment for the info and also just for being nice to the new kid in the Outback. Now somebody just needs to teach me all about this Magic sport and I'll be all set. Seirichi says magic is for nerds but I think it looks really fascinating, maybe a little scary even. So, who is going to volunteer to teach me? There will be Skittles or M&M's for payment. I might even be able to snag you some Rhydin Rewind swag so long as you don't tell Seirichi it was for teaching me about Magic.

Anyway, Miss Teagan, who seems a little different, said that her preferred title was not Overlady but Queen of the Ring. There was some debate about the fact that one of my bosses has laid claim as Queen of the Outback -- no, not Harris; the other one. Miss Kitty said that this boss actually has the title of Hoochie of the Airwaves. I am totes buying her a coffee cup that says that, I think it is a pretty awesome title even if it wasn't given out of kindness exactly. Miss Teagan apparently is still rather hung up on her cute little ex that is engaged to a man. I didn't ask too many questions but man, what is up with all of that drama? If any of you know details...email me! Inquiring minds want to know ALL OF THE GOSSIP.

Squadron Sergeant Major Ray Bradford (did I get all of that right? Jeez --so. many. words.) was totally trying to help me not look all obvious in my spying. He pointed out that I was talking to my boobs, which is where I had the little mic and recorder hidden. Next time I think I might come up with some other plan because talking to my boobs was a little bit distracting for some people. Mr. Bradford was a dueling machine, people. I think I saw him in the ring more than out of it and he is totally not afraid to hit a girl; that might come in handy in the near future for me.

Mr. Bradford, how much do you charge to beat people up? I have a small list written up of who needs their attitude adjusted.

I would love to keep chatting about all of the awesome people I met the other night but I have to go make Princess Kellie some waffles and then get ready to TP G'nort Talanador's Seaside Baronial Manor with Nell. Then I have to get ready to go watch Mr. Hotness aka Magic Mike kick some ass at the Brawler. No, Nell, I won't be going without panties tonight, you freak! I am a good girl and don't put out that easily.

Don't forget to show up and show some love. I will be accepting bribes in the form of alcohol if you want me to give you some free advertisement.