Diamond Decree - New Rules

[MurOllavan]

Greetings Outback. It is I, Mur Ollavan your new Diamond. With Outback cleanup operations complete, it is now time for expansion planning.

1. You will notice there are brand new towels for wiping off sweat, blood, and other nastiness. Everyone thank Anubis for lending his likeness to the front and back of our new complimentary towels.

2. There will be a VIP booth with bottle service, trampoline and uh...cotton candy machine for Rekah and Taneth to cheer me on while I beat on the suckers for Harry's amusement.

3. My portrait will hang behind the bar, encircled with varying shots of alcohol. All duelists will be required to salute the portrait before engaging in drink at the bar, or be forced to watch a Vinny challenge match.

4. Space juice is banned from the sport. Opponents caught juicing will be sentenced to six month's community service with Neo on the watch, saving cats from trees in short shorts.

5. The old goblin engineering corps will be installing a wheelchair ramp so that Matt and Tass can arrive at their challenges on time.

6. Sarah will be referred to as 'babe', 'toots', or whatever creative putdowns other men can come up with. Also when shutting her out duelists are required to do it properly by hitting her with uppercuts, hooks, and spinkicks. No other manuevers are allowed, without exception.

7. I have purchased a cage for the Outback for Misty and the other cat-things....I would not discourage patrons from bringing pets, but to keep the Outback sanitary they need to stay in their cages.

8. I reserve the right to modify, add, or subtract to this decree at any time. If patrons have an issue with any of these rules, they may argue their case with Taneth, the final arbiter of the above.

[Neo Eternity]

4. Space juice is banned from the sport. Opponents caught juicing will be sentenced to six month's community service with Neo on the watch, saving cats from trees in short shorts.

Aww, too bad no one told you... the Seraphim Knights are no longer associated with the Rhy'Din Watch. They'll have to go save those kitty cats without me.

7. I have purchased a cage for the Outback for Misty and the other cat-things....I would not discourage patrons from bringing pets, but to keep the Outback sanitary they need to stay in their cages.

Kirn are citizens. If I hear even a rumbling about any of them being caged--ESPECIALLY Misty--it will be my responsibility and pleasure as your superior coordinator to beat you to within an inch of your life. And I'm not talking about in a duel. So if I were you, I'd use that right you reserved to just scratch this one out.

Oh, and I'm sure you're looking for me to get all mad about #6 there. Too bad she's strong enough to not need me to take care of her. Boo-hoo, no boyfriend rage for you.

[MurOllavan]

Animals are not people, they're animals silly.

You'd have to check with Kal to make sure, but I think the odds of Sarah beating me up are much greater than yourself. You're right, she is strong enough to not need you to take care of her, thanks to my training. I look forward to the day you are strong enough to say the same.

Also, a big rant on this cork is no way to ask me to be your mentor. Even so, I must inform you that all my spots are full.

[Dilynrae]

Animals are not people, they're animals silly.

That being said, I suppose we can place you in said cage.

[Neo Eternity]

Animals are not people, they're animals silly.

Fur, ears, tail, it doesn't matter. You're far more of an animal than all of them we have here put together.

You'd have to check with Kal to make sure, but I think the odds of Sarah beating me up are much greater than yourself. You're right, she is strong enough to not need you to take care of her, thanks to my training. I look forward to the day you are strong enough to say the same.

Check the odds? With Kal? I know my own track record in the rings, and what it would do for my supposed "odds". Good job defeating your own argument.

Also, a big rant on this cork is no way to ask me to be your mentor. Even so, I must inform you that all my spots are full.

I don't need the mentoring of someone who is far weaker than me in body, mind, spirit, and heart. It would only make me weaker.

I don't need to repeat myself, because contrary to the evidence, you're actually not a complete moron. So I'm done here.