Minion & Minion Realty

[MinionofDeath1ord]

FOR IMMEDIATE SALE OR LEASE

New Haven single-family estate. Furnished.

Property Details:
5 square acre lot.
8 bedrooms. Master bedroom with private bath.
Spacious central hall / banquet room w/ great hearth. Recently renovated.
Dual-stove catering-style kitchen w/ large center island for food preparation.
Servant's quarters next to kitchen.
Stable and kennel behind main house.

Comments:
Very recently vacated. Excellent for first time buyers. Room to raise a family. Easy terms of sale or lease.

Available for viewing by appointment with Minion & Minion Realty.

[MinionofDeathlord]

Smoothing the pleats on her ankle-length crimson skirt, the minion surveyed her appearance in the large bronze-gilded mirror hung over the hearth. There was little she would do to replace the missing tissue and skin on her face that ran from the opening of her nostrils to the edges of her lips, spreading back across her cheeks which were hollow, allowing anyone to see the inside of her decomposing mouth and tongue. Her eyes, with their distinctive golden-yellow glow, distracted and disturbed the living who did not appreciate or comprehend their beauty. Purple hair, worn down, curled over her left shoulder and rested upon the uncomfortable long-sleeve crimson blouse. She ran her long claw-like fingernails over her hair and down her arms, resisting the urge to itch and shred away the confining fabric. The feel of the cloth irritated her, especially around the elbows where it rubbed against bone instead of flesh that had long ago decayed and rotted away. The length and style of her clothing exasperated her, but the suffering was necessary if she was to attract potential buyers – most of the unfortunate flesh-sacs had yet to see the benefits in undeath and became frightened upon seeing her blue-green tinged skin and the exposed bone on her arms and legs.

“Silly sacs,” she murmured at the mirror, “they know not the benefits of this station.”

With a grim smile, she blessed the home the only way she knew how and shouted with outstretched arms, “HAIL DEATHLORD!””

Her words echoed through the central hallway and into the foyer. Glass panes on the hutch in the banquet room trembled as if they could sense her master’s presence. Turning away from the mirror, the minion began to walk through each room in the large house, memorizing details that she could use for selling points: several closets in which to hang flesh strips for those who wanted to cut and then dry them for decorative sewing; a livery for slaves (though Deathlord had cautioned her to expressly refer to those rooms as “servant’s quarters”); an expansive backyard perfect for playsets and children (though she would personally recommend replacing the green lawn with something more beneficial, like Lichblight and perhaps a garden of Putrapetals); and of course the Feedery (or Stable, where animals would surely be housed for slaughter, sport, and late-night refreshment) and DeathBreed (or Kennel, where mange-laden dogs could be bred to hone their skills in spreading the beauty of affliction).

All in all, the house was quite the catch. Even the flesh-sacs should be able to see its potential and inherent worth. Returning to the foyer, she made sure that the pricing sheets and brochures were prominently placed. Turning to face the doorway, she clasped her hands behind her back, twisted her face into a smile much more frightening than greeting in nature, and awaited her first appointment of the day.