Journal entries: translated

[Rhaine]

This evening the shifter woke up, on his way to recovery. This was one of rare nursing experiences for Rhaine, and she feared of making a slightest mistake. A change of activity - that could be a good distraction from her regular duties. She started slowly with replenishing the dehydrated and starved body. Artemus was so weak from his imprisonment, she had to feed him and hold his head when giving him a drink. Errtu, a thousand curses on your soul! They talked - at first it was Rhaine's attempt to distract the shifter from troubling thoughts...

As Artemus told her about the orc raid that killed his parents, and about the vengeance and havoc Sylus and himself wreaked upon the intruders, she listened in silence. It was a gift similar to a glass snowflake - too fragile to drop, but too painful to hold. A wound of a memory, a gift that has to be reciprocated. Her voice was quiet as she spoke about the insane crowd, that burned a "witch" - healer mage her mother was. About her father who brought this "witch" to trial. About her own vengeance - cold blooded murder, as she nailed his hands to indoor stairway, and burned the house... She shuddered in fear, thinking that the shifter would turn away from her, that he would despise a monster she was... But his arms wrapped around her protectively. "I know there is little I can say to take away the pain you must feel about that day, but you'll never hear those words from me. I love you, Rhaine. More now, than I ever realized," the shifter said, as vampire nuzzled into his embrace.

A hug, a smile, a dinner together (though her part in it was feeding the shifter, too weak to do that himself) - Rhaine thought could become a wall in the way of dark memories of Umbran Sanitarium, a shelter from pain. As Artemus fell asleep, she watched him, taking in the image that meant so much to her.

[Rhaine]

It was a deep, soft night. Listening to shifter's breath, she sat on the edge of his bed, and ran her fingers through his hair. He was asleep, safely asleep now, and recovering. Physical and mental damage will heal, she would do her best to deal with this...

And he said she's stuck with him here for a long time! It was a warm, exciting feeling - like from a drink of Old Ythvern, explosion of fragrant fire... He will be here... She would talk to him, listen to him, share moments of past and present...

"He speaks of you with love. But not as one speaks of their beloved," memory was ruthless, and Shandren's voice nauseatingly sweet in fake pity. Sometimes Rhaine wished to forget the talk with Shandren. But memory of Bound was perfect. How long will I be a fool, tricked by my own hopes, she asked herself. Chasing ghosts... was that how Darquan called his own desire to live as a dhoine?

The shifter stirred in his sleep, breaking off her trail of thoughts. Rhaine scanned him. Something was odd in the pattern of his regeneration. Magical compound of his body was healing significantly slower, and seemed to be subject of same atrophy... It was wrong. Plain wrong.

We will see, perhaps it's the shifter way with magic, she told herself. No need to go nervous over slight change in patterns you're used to. Perhaps tomorrow it would catch up.

[Rhaine]

Artemus was recovering, no doubt. Once he was weak as a kitten, and tonight he even dared to duel in magic. Though it has really worn him... how much has Errtu taken out of him, so that even dueling was hard? The magically active compound of his body seemed a slight shimmer. That was to be taken care of.

When we finally arrived home, I pulled Arty into an ionized pool, making sure he relaxes. It was a mentari treatment, but it remained efficient for majority of species. Streams of water massaged the shifter, scent of pine and violet (not something I particularly love, but..) seemed to help him a bit. I ordered two glasses of "ithfa-twenty" - a type of nutritional drink popular on Mentar Station. The shifter needs it...

As we sat in the bubbling, mineralized water, I hugged him. The ghost of meeting with Shandren was still tugging on my nerves.

"What if someone tells you that Shandren is back?" I asked, afraid of the answer. What if he decides to leave now?

Yes, I am addicted, I admitted to myself. But sticking to fear was not a respectable solution.

"I would say - show me. She has been gone for too long, I am afraid of an illusion," Artemus replied, putting down his glass. Now. Or never. I could have killed her, and no one would know she ever returned to RhyDin. I did not, and it was my choice.

"I have seen Shandren recently..." and I told him about our meeting. It was like a dive in breathtakingly cold water.

For a few moments Artemus was silent. I waited, and feared. Finally he spoke...and his words were something unbelievable.

"I've made my decision....I'm done trying to play both sides of the fense. And I'm a feline in nature, they're not known for being loyal to a mate. Have children then move on. I've done this. Time to move on with what I want. Not my animal side."

As his fingers curled around mine, I could only hold breath and try to believe this wasn't a hallucination...

Now, as I watch his sleeping shape, I'm helpless in analyzing this evening. Would it really be a chance for me, or just a joke? He could be simply going with the flow of events and taking what's falling into his hands without effort. I have no wish or no strength to resist. Probably been alone for too long...

[Rhaine]

These days are a waste. I hate waiting and recalculating probabilities... Five mixed squads that are training on Temple grounds, are the best distraction from troubling thoughts. Artemus has some matters of his own to take care of, and I'm free to deal with the work and with my nerves.

He has finally found his daughter, and is spoiling her rotten with all the toys and plush animals. When I found an hour to spend at the Isle, I could watch Artemus in his leopard form, and Amaris. While I have no good feelings about the child (quite natural... asmodeans don't have that slimy mortal way of admiring children), I know she is important for Arty, so... I'd better learn it.

We talked a little, and Artemus invited me into the Tower. After all the previous experiences in the Tower of Earth I was rather reluctant to go in again, it isn't any fun to feel crippled and without magic. But is there anything I wouldn't do for a chance to be with the shifter? I decided to believe his words about making the tower stop breaking off all of my connections. Next morning I returned to the Temple. Elemental Towers of the Isle are too much pain for someone completely deprived of elemental magic.

The practices are very intense. I know we might have to interfere into events in the Old Temple district any moment. Keith has already configured the neural interfaces, so that the five squads may turn into perfectly coordinated collective organisms, but at the same time there's a lot of individual work with antimagic shells, living armors, and modern weapons both from Mentar Station and those Vitus bought from Drachen Walde Industries. I have already managed to earn a plasma burn on a wrist from a clumsy dodge of several arcs of bluish blasts - and from my own foolishness of not using an armor. Some of G'fenvass warriors are awfully good with plasmagun - even though they have never seen a beam weapon in their lives before. They don't even get surprised. Their faith explaints it all for them...

Well, going back there now. They have faith in Asmodeus, but also - trust in me as their leader. By Midnight, that's taxing!

[Rhaine]

The elves are joining Catholics in the Old Temple District. The news are... annoying. I dislike the pointy-eared ones enough to order an attack from behind. Not very knight-like, but asmodean knights aren't the stiff-necked do-gooders. A la guerre comme a la guerre, we do what we need to get the results required.

I gathered Squad A, and picked out ten warriors. Combat tasks were easy to explain. Much easier than teaching them to use stealth mode, neural interfaces, stimpacks, medikits, and all the tricky enhancements of mentari living armor. Takes a while for medieval mentality to accept advanced technology, but the results are worth it.

They dissolved in the night. Stealth mode is one of big advantages. Should I feel pity for the elves?

[Rhaine]

Sael'bain is seriously vexed with my less violent way of thinking. He told me he was disappointed with the change that occurred to me when I met Artemus again. True... we aren't supposed to be so absorbed in personal affairs. Especially when we're about jumping into a war. But I've been absolutely taken by my duties for the last several centuries, giving up personal life for being a warrior and a priest of Asmodeus.

Usually we get a test of faith if our loyalty is in question. But at the moment, I fear it. I stared blankly at the bronze chitin of baatezu exoskeleton, and listened to his accusing voice, while remembering the Clandestine Realm. There were multiple examples of asmodeans losing their relationships after a test of faith. Duska and Jaziel, a couple of vampires that served the Lord, ended up being tested, and Duska tricked Jaziel into a deadly trap. Ged married Ariania Silkencoat, and ended up rushing into a divorce like there was fire on the end of his cloak (and hell if I know what was his Test of Faith about!). Thyme Arinathe... well, I do remember how he was just changed when he became Chosen. What would happen to me? Would there be anything worse than what I have already... enjoyed?

Tests of Faith don't always come as death and bloodshed. The most painful tests of faith are tests by promotion. Midnight's Wrath, I would hate to lose Artemus! And I would, if I'm chosen. I do not want to be shaped into a tool of His will, I've gone through too much to remain myself, would He take away this weakness that I cherish just to forge me as His weapon? Would He not see, that even with a mortal as a lover, I would still remain completely true to my Lord? I know well enough how much He has done for me. But why deprive me any connection with the world outside of the Temple?!

"You're not listening," Sael'bain remarked. "Your test of faith would be least traditional. You would be allowed to have what you've longed for. But if your relationship with this mortal leads to a major failure, you know the consequences."

[Rhaine]

I was deep in the depressive thoughts when I almost bumped into Artemus in the Annex. Seeing him turns any burning day into a soft lingering twilight. Perhaps dhoine use another idiom - they prefer day instead of night. But for me, and for many of my kin (and I don't mean vampires), daytime is painful. Evening, twilight - for us it's a time of hope, a time of promise. When you look into the night sky and see starry infinity, it's so much more inspiring than the illusion of blue dome over your head...

I took a moment to examine the magical picture of him. Yes, his ability to use energy was regenerating, but slowly. This didn't seem to bother him. "That will come in time with work. I still have the experience, just have to work at training," Artemus smiled. A ghost of memory flashed before my eyes - the block from Morrigu that crippled me for a long and painful time, and was removed only with burning out a part of me.

"I was without magic when I returned from imprisonment where Morrigu had thrown me. It was... like having arms I could not use. I would never wish you to endure such a thing."

That made him pause, arms clasping around me softly. "Hey....even without magic, I'd find a way to survive. I have you...what do I need power for?"

It took a minute in Art's arms to stop thinking about Vanion, Old Temple District, global magical fields and all the crap over our heads. The shifter could always convince me to keep my worries out of my head. Via a portal, we went into the mountains near the Temple.

Last time we were in the forest together, was almost two years ago, before he met Shan. We went in teleports, chasing each other and laughing like children. Now the forest was deep in solemn silence, dark and fuzzy in the evening twilight. I was tempted to roll Art in the snow - or at least shower him with snowballs. Sometimes I need to relax, and need it badly. As I barrelled into him, we rolled in the crispy cold snow, and the shifter managed to pin me. The spectral image of green, creamy and gold colors on the soft black and blue sky background was a pleasure to behold.

As the night descended, we looked into the sky, and talked quietly. Alone, away from entire world. A soft smile danced across shifter's lips.

"Rhaine? Can I ask you a ridiculous question?"

"Of course. "

"Why do you love? What about me do you love so much?"

As if that could be answered in words... The independent and unique feline nature, this rich and soft purring voice, his ability to remain himself and not a reflection of anyone else - that I did find endearing. But love doesn't need reasoning and explanations. It just exists. Even between creatures different and hardly compatible. It's a disaster and a blessing.

[Rhaine]

Nearly bouncing off the walls, Artemus formed in the warm twilight of my study. I knew I was easy to find in the hideout - by the scent of coffee and
rustling of pages. "Evening, precious..." I looked up , putting down my favorite cup of translucent porcelain.

"Hey babe," he moved towards me and just scooped up in his arms to kiss me silly. Good that I found a moment to put down the cup! This was melting me...

Finally when both of us needed to take a gulp of air, I rubbed my cheek on his. "So how's it today?"

"Fan-frickin-tastic," he grinned setting me down, and went for another kiss. "Roshambo went 3-1 in our first match for IFL. Totally rocked the house."

Returning the kiss, I took in the happy mood, like a plant takes in sunshine. "I'm glad for you. Though good that I'm not into fists... By the way, love, what do you think of duels using real weapons but without spilling blood?"

That just made him raise a brow. "If no blood is spilled, how can it be a real duel with using real weapons?"

"Oh, it can... It needs more practice in what we used to call Control - to stop your blade a milimeter from opponent's body, cut off a button, or a lock of hair, or cut a belt... the duel goes until first such mark..."
I found it hard to explain, but still it had to be explained. At least it was one thing in common in several rituals of one specific type... Embarrassing to think of them, but what if he asks about the wedding rituals again? Bloodless duels, where the winner only marked a deadly strike, where the main goal was to show both art and control... We had it as a blade dance, appropriate to signify infinite trust.

Artemus tilted his head to the side. "Could be interesting, but the duels are the only place I've need of that kind of control. Outside of it I usually just clap my hands and whoever is annoying me dies...."

"At first such duels appeared in Clandestine to practice and make sure a warrior doesn't go amok during a fight. To be honest, they were brought there by Vanion - warriors of Myr'Khul were always a bit too bloodthirsty, and in a battle often what's needed is cold mind," I tried to explain, but how would one tell about a necessary practice turning into an art? In RhyDin, the dueling sports have been a sport for much too long.

"That much is true," the shifter leaned in to steal another kiss. The subject needed to be changed. I mocked a hungry vampire, brushing my lips on his neck.

"When is the next IFL match?"

"Don't know..still have to submit my lineup, and other things. We still have to finish this week," a soft shiver in him was quite well sensed... "And I can't think when you do that."

After a minute of sharing a kiss, Art pulled me close and held me against his chest. "It's been a while since we talked...can I ask you a presonal question?"

"Any question," I nuzzled into the touch. If it violates secrecy, I would simply say I shouldn't answer. It's within our traditions to be honest with those we trust, and despite all of his dhoine recklessness, I trust Artemus.

"What drew you into the service of Asmodeus? I don't think you've ever spoke of it, wasn't sure how to ask. Just curious. No need to answer if you've no wish to."

The memory of a Bound is always fresh. I smiled.

"I was just from my homeland, fresh from seeing the civil war and chaos, from losing mom to witch hunt and from losing someone very dear to me. I had nothing to live for, and alone in a strange new world. I was looking for distraction or destruction, whichever came first. And in the middle of this depression, I found fun in reading. I am not sure if the book about races of Clandestine was placed in my way, or it was an accident," I tried to shrug carelessly. "I found information about a race created by the Lord, and admired His skill and creativity. I felt compelled to know more of Him. The more I learned, the more I felt like my life was being filled with purpose...Their order, discipline and intellect attracted me to the Temple I thought dead - things I learned from the libraries. So... I just kinda took the risks and tried to pass the entry quests."

[Rhaine]

How could words express the feeling of seeing something you thought never existed? Something you hoped to find, but the chances were as slim as those for a miracle? "At least it helped me to heal. I was never disappointed since I joined the Temple," I murmured. He returned my smile gently and cupped my chin - what a feline manner... "And had you not...we would never have met." Artemus tilted his head at that comment, and his next question flowed easily, like one throwing knife after another. "How much of our meeting do you think was chance..and how much of it was possibly staged?"

That was something I had been pondering about. And now the concept rushed onto Art's lips, as if confirming my concerns. "I do not believe in chances and accidents," I was calm. Another question - when could this be staged, and who could benefit from this?

"Good because neither do I," Art's tone serious but that smile remained. "All lives are interconnected and every action no matter how small can have rippling effects far greater than anyone is ever aware."

"One thing was staged for sure .... random portal I used to get to RhyDin. There was one chance there to hide - the Adventurer Guild. And your brother was in the guild before I arrived in RhyDin," I started thinking aloud. Something I did only in presence of selected and trusted few, like Piotr, Alais or Tenebris. However, the topic pulled Art into sentimental, semi-romantic memories.

"I still remember our first meeting..." the smile on his lips turned playful as he moved to stand at my back."How I teased you on your then relation with my brother..." his warm hands were over my breasts, sending slight shivers over my designed body. "As I did this...."

"And how I was ready to try to slash your head off after this?" I tried to remain sarcastic.

"Oh yea...." his lips were on my neck, as if it was him who pretended to be a vampire. "Course it wasn't slashing I wanted to do at that point in time....."

"Really? and what did you want...?" I was getting curious.

"To take you then and there......right.." his grip tightened. "Against.. the wall.....:" just before his teeth bit into my neck, but didn't break the skin.

Bleh. As if I was ever going to believe that. Back then I was stuck in a dull relationship with Sy - each of us realized that this was out of boredom, treating it as healthy way to entertain ourselves...

"You were so calm cold and efficient - why waste time on something that for such a being could be pure entertainment?"

"Because I knew you would be more than just entertainment.." Art was seemingly believing his own words, his breath whispered along my neck, filling my quasi-blood with fire. However the sarcastic part of me chuckled deep within. He KNEW? Why did he brag about Darquan's death and rune in this case? Why did he coil around Chey like a crazy feline? Why did he choose Shandren after we were so close, and only her disappearing made him finally notice me?

Bound do not forget. This bitter knowledge remained mine. Our memories are always so real... I kicked off the annoying images, and fell into the sweet abyss of an evening with Art.

[Rhaine]

I stepped under the familiar arc of black gabbro instead of using a direct rift. For once I decided to come the way a visitor would... I loved it here - аeeling His presence in the calm cool twilight... SaelBain met me at the entrance.

"I heard you're so seriously involved with this mortal, that you two are even thinking of marriage?"

Oops. I should have remembered that Sael had been my partner for years, and reads my thoughts with ease.

"Why not. I don't think I'm forbidden to..."

"Rhaine... My dear little biomage, one thing is simply involvement, another - formal relationship. You're blind with love, I can understand this. But rushing into this so foolishly... You may trust him under extreme circumstances, but in daily life you would soon grow totally bored and tired of him. His mannerisms would irritate you if you see them every hour. I know you too well, partner. You, like any of our officers, are too addicted to adrenaline or whatever replaces it in your body," Sael's voice was dripping with sarcasm. "Normal life will kill you. We had to allow such a stereotypical addiction to form, as we needed the better qualities of you that developed due to it. But at the same time, by becoming better officers, most of you had no chances of what you call personal life."

"Triple bleh, Sael. Adrenaline rush may be cool, but I'd prefer an hour of rest every day".

"An hour. But not entire day."

"As if I would ever have a chance to get bored. Either Art would give me headaches, or my duty would."

I knew that for sure - with Artemus I have no chance to get bored. But at least doubts started gnawing on my mind, probably that was what Sael wished to achieve.

There are too many things that vex me in his behavior, and that is unfortunately true. His extreme confidence. His arrogance. His inability to believe that anyone but himself has some talents in dealing with problems. Art seldom realizes that he isn't almighty... I blame this on his young age, but I abandoned these illusions when I was only fifteen... I have been hoping to get used to this. Art's presence is a drug, but... what if SaelBain is correct? What if regular routine would bore me, and the vexing traits would turn into a true annoyance?

I slammed the door shut before Sael could follow me into my study. I needed to be alone.

[Rhaine]

We left Jewell's wedding party early. It has cost me way too much nerves - this awful crowd, fake tears, and ridiculous slimy sentiments. Kicking off high heels, pulling adamantite and amethyst clasps from my hair, I dropped into my favorite armchair and dialed for a cup of cold mineral water.

"Weddings are worse than temple ceremonies.... Especially with these crying women," I grinned.

Artemus was just laughing and shaking his head before moving to kneel gently beside my chair, cheek resting on the arm as he just kept watching me with an amused smile. "Weddings are one of those few events where one either cries or lauhgs in hysterics..."

"Probably that's human tradition to cry or laugh like that... I have seen a couple of weddings of my brethren, and none of us went that... weird," my fingers ran through his hair lightly, enjoying the silky feel.

"Reactions are different for everyone is all. Just depends on how truly special the evening is," his eyes closed at that and a low purr added to this delightful feeling of warmth. I love such evenings.

"So, what did you plan to do tonight, love? beside being there at Jewell's and Stephen's wedding?"

If he has planned anything involving dressing up and going somewhere, I'll scream

"Be with you and just have a night in. You and me," his smile was warmly intoxicating. "Just talk and be together, nothing flashy, but a night with you is always a precious moment."

"Sounds delightful..." I almost purred, sliding down from armchair to sit on the floor, to curl like a cat near the shifter. Where did I get this habit to sit on the floor - in Moridin's office, where we used to gather in the evenings before the Knight Lounge was built?

"I think so too," his arm curled around me and returned the embrace. "And, I've been thinking on something truly troubling that I think we need to discuss....."

"Yess, love? What troubles you?" or to be more precise, what in the ices of Cania is it now? Another shadowlord book? Something about Kurgen legacy? what could it be?!

"Say...." he paused a moment, his eyes throughtful. "Say we beat my family curse and I don't die in fifteen years...then what?" his eyes were truly troubled as he looked at me. "I'm no immortal by any means. I will age and die normally as any of my kind. That's not something I want you to go through."

[Rhaine]

A chill went down my spine. True... and this is part of the reason why Bound try not to interact with mortals. They age and die. We belong to magic, in a way we ARE magic, and we're doomed to see them age and die. Darquan warned me about such things...

"How long do your kin usually live?" I asked, my question making little sense. It was an insane hope, fragile and hardly possible.

"Since for the last several hundred years, no one has lived beyond that fifteen year limite marker. And since I'm mostly human in physiology, my animal half will keep me preserved till I'm around 80. At my earlier fifties and sixties I should still have the body and endurance of a man in his mid thirties."

Eighty years. Even with prolonged youth, this is merely a moment. So many dhoine realize they're mortal, and seek immortality... Sometimes they find us, and try to rip it out of our hands. To be honest, when we just met, I thought he killed Darquan for the rune of Binding, which some foolish dhoine think can help to live forever.

"I see..." my gaze wandered over his face, fingers traced his cheek lightly. "I hope you don't think that I'd be scared off by this?"

He closed his eyes and shivered in a chill. "I hope you won't be, but I felt it should be discussed. I don't want to die on you Rhaine...." His hand rested over mine gently. "But I won't accept any form of immortality if it changes me from the being you love." A warm smile slid onto his lips. "Immortality isn't worth the price of making you see me differently than what you have come to hold so dear..."

There would still be a woman that would be with him in old age. So... what difference does it make, if it would be me or someone else? The thought itself, that for some reason I would be deprived of him, made me shudder. Would it matter if it is time or some woman that would take him from me? Well, it would. Time is something my kin have always fought, be it time-space manipulations of lyrrath or living designs of giarre. Our victories were always costly, but they were victories. And women... I can not afford to destroy someone for selfish reasons. All deaths have to be rational, and cold-blooded murder out of jealousy sounds very dhoinelike.

Art's voice distracted me from multitrained thought. "So what am I, Rhaine?" His voice was soft, and lips almost touched mine.

"My precious. The man that has become more to me than binding itself... mortal or no, it won't change the way I feel towards you, it isn't your mortality that has my soul.. I love you too much to let you live and die without me, my precious"

However, my mind rushed to dedicate a few threads to mulling over this problem. If I'm so seriously involved with him, mere decades of his life are not enough.

[Rhaine]

My dear shifter,

I have thought a dozen times before taking such an odd step as writing a letter. But I do think I need it.

I remember the day when I learned that Sylus has a brother, and learned it far from the best way, by meeting you. It would be unfair to say that from that first meeting I felt anything but irritation from your manners... You were rather curious about Alais, this aggressive curiosity has turned me off, and later on you bragged about Darquan's rune. Only Sylus stopped me from following my duty of Bound. I kept an eye on you, making sure you would be no threat. The bad surprise came from the Bloodspeakers, when they found guts to eliminate Chey.

Usually asmodeans have no compassion for others' pain. As well as Bound/Designers. I felt nothing when Bloodspeakers have taken her, yet over days and weeks I have been seeing you in pain. Pain of others meant next to nothing to me - I had plenty of my own. However somehow your pain has found a way to sting me. It was building up, until I used a rift to warp you out of Arena - against my own principles, against being your enemy.

Gradually I have grown to understand you - especially with the mind link that helped me trace the girrash attacks. And to admire you - admire a mortal that has reached for more than just existence. Before I knew, I was caught... I thought that I have learned the lesson of losing Tenebris and with him - the future of the Temple in Clandestine, but I was wrong. I was afraid to admit this even to myself - when I brought you to my hideout, and created the rooms for you, I was hoping that you would stay for a very long time. I feared that you would not respect me if I showed how I felt. At that time you were just after losing Chey, and I thought it would look awful if I rushed in with showing my feelings. I was afraid to be shoved off. You were both the source of my fears, and the most cherished presence in my life...

Time has shown that I should not have gone with my fears. You found Shan, and I forced myself to step back. Midnight knows I was so tempted to fall into the state of amok and eliminate the girl... She told me that I meant nothing more than a friend to you, and I tried to rip the hooks out of my soul. It would take too long to tell you about everything I have tried to do. I was seeking refuge in work, in battle, in anything... Humans use alcohol to go comfortably numb, but my body doesn't have this type of reaction. In the end, my efforts to find oblivion led to carelessness - enough to get myself shot.

You know the rest. With time this addiction to you has been growing only stronger. And it has no chances to weaken.

I love you - for your delightful feline self, for your independent personality and for the person you are. For these moments together, without the shells we wear in public. For the silence of looking into the fire and feeling you so close to me. For the purring we share. For every moment when your presence has washed away my fears and worries. You being mortal has nothing to do with it.

I do not know if you would accept a gift from me... I will risk suggesting it, and pray to Midnight that it won't be turned down. But I will offer you a spell contour, that can be linked to a tiny artifact, and won't let you age physically. The only drawback would be - you would need to deal with magic daily, to let it course through your veins the way I have let it to run in mine. And yes, another catch... I think the artifact would be a ring. So I will have to ask for your thoughts on it.

I love you. And would repeat it a million times.

Your Rhaine.

[Rhaine]

Something is wrong with Art. I sense he's trying to change something in his life, and can only hope that won't be his involvement with me.

Did my letter turn him off? Did he consider my offer too miserable to discuss? Yes, I could have offered something that would involve Trance, but... I'm scared of it, scared senseless. Last time I was en-Tranced, it took coming into the Temple to free me from this state. What would be next?

Last night we met in the Red Dragon Inn, for an evening together without anything to distract us. I used Elynne's advise for dressing, and had my share of stupid looks from locals. Fashions of Mentar Station seem to be too different from local ones. Blue-steel colored summer dress appears to be too short for tastes of locals, and one of them considered me a... hmm... street girl, so I left one dried aged body on my way to the inn. But this left me vexed. Which was worst - Art didn't even notice. Men! It took the shifter some purring to have me cooled off. Purring and a long walk home. Would I lose these walks if the changes he's dealing with would occur?

Nuff. This is turning into paranoia.

[Rhaine]

Now, when all Temple agents are busy with the tasks I have assigned them, I keep experimenting with fashions. Elynne Althos is my eyes, and unfortunately mentari tastes are so different from those of locals. Her last creation was steel-blue genetically modified line, so thin that it was as the finest ancient egyptian fabrics. I could only feel the delicate matter with my hands. It caressed my skin even in the ridiculous heat of RhyDin summer. I decided to try this in the Red Dragon Inn environment.

One thing for sure, Artemus was impressed. I sensed it from his gaze, from the change of colors in his spectral image. How annoying it is sometimes to be blind... The feeling of his hand on my waist was especially strong when it was just a layer of mist-thin fabric - it only emphasized his touch... Interesting effect, I must say. After an hour in the Inn, we decided to warp into Twilight Isle for a warmup.

I was happy to see Azjah and Topaz. I missed the Rigelian human lady, she is an example of refinement and elegance I would never reach. Defining her as almost-friend would be adequate. She noticed that I was changing my dress code (women always notice such things... men do not... I wonder why), and advised me to ask Koyliak for more guidance when I requested help with it. By Midnight, how often I wished to be taller and elegant, like her! During my years in command of the Legion, I faced the trouble of making Knights listen to me, despite being a short and fragile woman. A short and skinny Commander - it looked like a bad joke to them until I proved it otherwise. And Azjah could have had no problem with it. She was officiating the duels, and seemed right in place for that job.

So I took Illusia's offer and went into the rings. Had to brush up on my tactics! Magical dueling is hardly something we, Bound, would appreciate, but a renegade like me should not stick to standard means of defence. And who knows where useful thoughts can be picked up! Dueling a mage and ex-Keeper was a good practice, and beating her was quite unexpected.

For a while I watched Art's duel. He excels in local sports, no matter what crap may Harris, Anubis and Vanion babble. We sat together for a while, and in the end of Azjah's shift decided to have a dance. Art is a much more problematic opponent than Lus! Twice I teleported behind his shields and covered his eyes with my hands. Shifterrrr... I got two wins in a row, and that makes me happy.

And after this we walked home, noticing nothing else.