I've Got a Secret! NJ #20 (05/25/06)

[Tera Destre]

I really hate you!! You are the bane of my existence and I will never be faithful to you like I am to my beloved Gavilean! I would gleefully dance on your grave with bells on and throw a party the likes of which this town has never seen if only you would see fit to die a horrid lingering, slow, painful, wasting death!!! The pox would be too good for the likes of you!!!!

I’ve got a really big secret and I ain’t gonna tell ya so there! You don’t get to know it. I bet ya really would like to too. But you ain’t worthy I’m telling ya. Only 5 people know it and that is all that is gonna be knowing it too. Cause ain’t none of us gonna be telling it either. Oh I know you still think you is special and all cause you is my Journal but I got news for you you low life snake in the grass that don’t make you deserving to know this here secret.

Charlotte and Kyn both have men troubles it looks like from what I heard and saw last night. I wish I could make it all better for both of them. It don’t seem right that I should be so happy with them both crying like they was.

My Boy Toy has done dumped Charlotte according to her side of things he flat out told her that he didn’t have time to get married and so he can’t get married. She gave him his ring back and now she is hurting something fierce cause she says she does love him and wishes that things could still work out but I don’t know that my Boy Toy would feel the same way. I really need to catch up with him and get his side of this here story before I can make up my mind one way or the other about it.

Gav and I are going over to his house to get her things for her since she says she can’t face going back there and is going to be staying at the Inn for the meantime since she got rid of her apartment. This has done turned into a right mess when things were looking so very good.

I feel I did the right thing though by her cause I did offer to do him bodily harm when she told me she had been dumped. Thankfully she declined my offer. I did not want to do my Boy Toy bodily harm but what was I supposed to do when she was crying and so upset? An offer of tea just is not my style. Although according to Miss Partinger that should have been my first response. I’m still gonna end up gutting that woman I just know it!

I am so thankful my A’maelamin (Hah! Ya didn’t have any idea what that word means do ya? Ya mealy mouthed peasant!!! It means “Beloved” in Elven cause I am taking language lessons now also and I will be teaching you a thing or two about how to speak all fancy like so there ya oaf!!) was there to lend his support and get her settled in at the table we was intending to be sharing with Brig and Kyn.

Topaz stopped by and I made a terrible mistake in introducing her to a very skunk drunk Chris. Oh lordy be if I had any idea just how drunk that guy was I’d never have introduced her to him last night. I thought sure he would be pleasant and visit with her since she doesn’t really know anyone at the Inn but could he do that? Oh no he had to show his behind and be a typical skunk drunk and she being Topaz didn’t appreciate that one bit. Needless to say I slunk off back to Gav the first chance I got through the crowd.

Oh the horror of it!!! I still am shuddering just remembering it now! Topaz is really sweet once ya get to know her it is just the getting to know her part that can be hard sometimes. She has very definite opinions and she ain’t afraid to tell ya. I do love her dearly and am gonna introduce her to some more people.

I just don’t know what to do about Kyn. She is having such a hard time and I am worried that I might only be making it worse for her. Seeing me and Gav can’t be easy for her but to not be around I fear might only lead her to believe that we don’t love her anymore and that we aren’t there to support her.

On the other hand seeing us happy and knowing what she knows may be something that she can hold on tight to that gives her hope and the knowing in her heart that what she wants and desires can be hers. I must admit that I am starting to get a mite confused myself so I can just imagine how she must be feeling. But this here secret may be helping her out some. She knows what I would do now. No ifs, ands, or buts about it!!

Course I will admit that my outlook on life ain’t for everybody. I feel ya never know what tomorrow is gonna bring so ya better live today to the fullest and not worry about tomorrow just let it take care of itself. Whatever is gonna happen is gonna happen so why get yourself all in an uproar about it? Seems a pure waste of time to me.

Course it never hurts to be prepared if someone has made a threat against ya that is another story. Then it is best to be prepared!! Get your troops ready in that case and have everything all set up so that they can NOT get to ya!!!!