New Beginnings

[Azjah von Drachen Walde]

Kyndra asked then about Thyrasa, “so...I've been meaning to ask you about your new friend that has been visiting the Isle...and the one staying in that tower of yours.”

Brig grinned, “She's not *technically* staying in the tower, She does have lodging in town.”

I commented that everyone was curious about her, and Brig laughed, “I'm sure you are, Azjah. And yes, Kyn, that's her name. I thought she might stop by tonight, but she did mention that she had some business to attend to.”

Kyndra chuckled, “well...I heard you tell her you would have someone get her things from the inn..so i just figured she was staying at the tower.”

I winked at Kyndra, “That's the varlet side talking Kyndra.”

Brigath snickered, “Let's just say that she's has everything she needs, regardless of where she lays her head for the night and leave it at that.”

Chuckling softly, I told Brigath that some pillows are more fun than others. He simply winked back at me and then draped one arm over Kyndra’s shoulders, and one over my own, “You know you are both always welcome to partake of my pillows.”

I rested my head against his shoulder, “Will you bring those pillows in 7 months?”

He chuckled softly, “Certainly, eternally fluffed.”

Smiling up at him, “Knowing how well you fluff pillows Brig, I'll count on you.” The match continued, and I looked up at him, “I could get used to calling like this Brig.”

He chuckled, “in Klint’s absence, I do my best.”

There was a satisfied chuckle, “he even trusts you.”

Brig shook his head mournfully, “poor deluded soul…”

I chuckled, “You would not do anything untoward my dear, there is simply too much honor there whether you want to admit it or not, but I am flattered that we can tease one another as we do.” But I kept my voice very, very soft so that I would not give away his secrets.

He still made shushing sounds at me, his eyes darting around to make certain no one had heard me, but his secret is very safe with me. I yawned then, and laid my head on his shoulder, “I may need to stay at the tower tonight Brig....” Morpheus was closing in fast, and with the house so full of people, no one would miss me tonight.

He chuckled softly, “There's a bed waiting for you, dear.”

I kissed his cheek then, “good, I'll take you up on it.”

About then Gnimish awoke, and I teased the old Gnome, “Gnimish, when will you and Drakhan step into our rings?”

He blinked at me, “Me *and* Drakhan? That'd be a weird duel indeed.”

Kyndra chuckled, “I’ll call that duel.”

Smiling at Gnimish, “I would love to see little Drakhan duel. There's a little dragonet that bit Syous around here, could be interesting.”

Gnimish shook his head, “He'd just make a big mess outta the ring, Azjah...then ya'd send me the cleaning bill, too!”

I gave Gnimish a startled look, “He would?”

The old Gnome nodded solemnly, “He’d drool it into a mud puddle.” Then he looked at the little dragon beneath his chair, “Now don't you be fibbing, you know darn well I'm right!”

I laughed softly, “That would take quite a bit of drool The sand is pretty porous.”

Gnimish was now busily engaged in a discussion with Drakhan, “Wha? Oh, where?” He peeked up and spotted Rena then.

The third and final match was decided as the reigning Arch Mage secured her second win, and retained the title for another cycle.

Gnimish looked at Syous, “Guess yer just too olf for this, Syous!”

Brig gently nudged me then, “I gotta skedaddle.”

I smiled, “take me with you,” and bade everyone good night, and congratulatory words for Topaz. I took his offered hand and we left the beach behind and Lucien muttering in my thoughts about protocol.

[Azjah von Drachen Walde]

The introduction of Lucien's lifemate to Prince Mikhail was less than a rollicking success. Azjah sat in her room at her dresser letting her hair down pondering the evening's events. The hair brush slid through her hair as she seemed to stare at her reflection, but was actually not seeing the present at all.

Brig had come, and she had hoped that it would help Topaz feel more at ease, but she had misjudged things badly. Topaz was not in the least nervous about the meeting as she had come representing everything the Carpathian's resist. She had come in military attire, and had brought a weapon into the presence of the Prince, which was a huge sign of disrespect. The fact that she called the Prince by his name without leave to do so, and that she argued with him was rather shocking to the Marchioness, but there had not been anything she could have done to stop it once it had begun.

Perhaps Gabriel was right. Perhaps Lucien should take his mate home for a time. Let her learn about the customs and the people. But Lucien had been adamant that he would not force her to go to Auriga. And to make matters worse, the Prince was remaining in RhyDin rather than moving on as he had originally planned. Whether it was to allow Raven time to spend with Topaz, or for some other reason she did not currently understand, it seemed the Palazzo would be hosting the royal couple for an undefined period of time.

Klinton stood behind her for long moments, watching her run the brush repeatedly through her hair before he reached out and rested his hands lightly on her shoulders. "come to bed, there is nothing to be done about it now." He seemed to understand her thoughts without a word being spoken, and she glanced up at his reflection in the mirror. He was right, there was nothing to be done now, and in the morning, they would leave for Rigel.

Morning dawned fair and cool as they headed for the docking station where the Star Dragon had been prepared for the long flight. Baumann had notified authorities on Rigel of the inbound flight, and the flight plans were properly filed. The controller released the ship and the Marquess and his wife departed RhyDin once more.

The starfield spread out before them in the blackness of space. The onboard systems were all set for auto pilot despite the shock at finding Kendrick 2.0 in these systems as well. There would be 3 days of simple checking on the systems and little else to do, along with hoping that Kendrick 2.0 would not send them off course, or fly them through a nova! The Star Dragon was as sleek and fast as personal craft could be, and it fostered several amenities that the couple made use of on the flight. Azjah was acutely aware of the flight suit not fitting right any longer, and it troubled her to move through the ship with the flight suit showing every curve. Klinton of course was thrilled, but Azjah brooded alone at times.

[Azjah von Drachen Walde]

When she returned to the cockpit as they approached Rigel, her nerves were strung tightly. Trips to Rigel were always trying, and now she returned with news of an impending heir for the Kaiser. Something she never thought to have to announce. Klinton was on cloud nine over this, and while she should be thrilled, she found herself more depressed over it than anything else. And to top everything off, Kendrick had managed to get his software insinuated into the shipboard functions as well as the land based system in RhyDin.

The landing and docking were uneventful as she shut down the star drive on the ship and turned the ship over to the Rigel Port Authorities, and told them of the 'virus' in her software. She left them with a request to see what they could do about removing it before they needed to return to RhyDin. She would not remain on Rigel any longer than was absolutely necessary.

Baumann had the car waiting for them, and they rode through Festungsmauer in silence. As they turned onto the street where their house sat perched on a ridge overlooking the capitol city, Azjah sighed. Home. It should have had a good feeling about it, but every time she came here, something terrible happened. She'd left Rigel to escape this place, and the memories it held. Klinton noted her sigh, but did not press her.

Baumann opened the door as they reached the entry, bowing formally to the Marquess and then to Azjah. "Welcome home your graces." She greeted the Major Domo formally before excusing herself to retreat to her rooms upstairs. Klinton had looked askance at her, but let her go, figuring she needed a few minutes alone before he followed her to see what was going on.

In her room sat a silver tea service, still piping hot, and a small plate of fruit. She sighed. Every bit of the formality was back. Every starched action and reaction with no change what so ever. She felt strangled in this environment, and yet it was where she had been born and raised to one day take her place among the Society of Rigel. She picked up an image of Tornach and Ozeana that had been captured right before their deaths at Kendrick's hands. They would soon have been grandparents, and she would have had her mother to turn to during this time. But now, she was alone again. Alone, and with no one to turn to for support or advice.

[Azjah von Drachen Walde]

A soft knock preceeded Klinton's entry into their rooms. He paused as he recognized the photo in her hands. "Missing them badly, aren't you?" She nodded and then set the image back upon the table where it had rested when she'd arrived. She rose then, pacing about the large room with her arms wrapped around herself. Klinton watched, knowing she would talk to him when she was ready.

"Klinton? I'm afraid. I'm afraid of what's happening to me. I'm afraid I won't be any good at this." She paused to study her husband long moments. "I miss my parents, what I would not give to have her for advice and support right now. This is not like taking over the business. I was prepared for that. Trained, educated, but this.... I'm lost." He walked toward her then, wrapping his arms around her and found her shaking.

The next day a courier arrived with a missive bearing the Royal seal. It was an invitation from Kaiser Wolfgang IV to his Presence Chamber the following day. At least he had not kept them cooling their heels for days or weeks. His father had been wont to do that sort of thing, and Azjah was relieved to see that she would not have to remain a long while waiting.

Katarina had brought out several of her court gowns, and she selected a pale blue silk that matched her eyes perfectly. The unfortunate thing however was that it no longer fit, and Katarina scrambled from the room to send for the seamstress to alter the dress for the next day. Azjah sat alone, waiting for the seamstress in an absolutely morose mood.

Several hours later the gown was altered, and she was alone in the solar. She and Klinton would see the Kaiser tomorrow, and with any luck, could be returning to Rhydin within 3 days. If luck would hold. The sparkling water she held had no taste, and so far nothing had tempted her. She should be losing weight, not gaining it, and yet it seemed every day she grew larger. She had a moment of panic, what if the dress didn't fit tomorrow?

Baumann had taken Klinton to see Bishop Wilhelm. There were documents to be filed, and recorded to assure this child would be recognized as the rightful heir of their Rigelian holdings. Unless it were a daughter, and then she would only be entitled to a portion of the holdings. How well Azjah knew that inequality.

Dinner was a quiet affair, just Azjah and Klinton and a house hold staff hovering around them. She knew they were left alone too often, and that this was their chance to shine and be noticed for promotion, but she found the night a long and irrationally irritating affair. She knew every move she made, every piece of silverware she used and in what order was being made note of by the staff. Every dish she sampled or did not sample was also noted, and it was driving her to complete distraction.

She did not wait for dessert, nor for the after dinner retirement to the library as she made her way upstairs, away from the prying eyes of staff and even Klinton, who seemed to note that she was not eating. She just wanted this whole thing to be finished so they could return to RhyDin.

[Azjah von Drachen Walde]

The morning dawned grey and cloudy, fitting her mood to perfection. A faint drizzle threatened, and the humidity made her hair want to be limp and lifeless. Just what Katarina needed as she tried to get Azjah’s hair up in the elegant chignon that she wore to such Court affairs. Azjah studied her reflection in the mirror as Katarina worked diligently, wondering if makeup would hide her wan coloring. After all, this was supposed to be a happy affair. What happened to the adage that pregnant women ‘glowed’? As far as she could tell, it was a fairy tale that had no basis in truth.

The gown fit, thankfully, and Katarina fastened it in the back before selecting the jewelry. It was an afternoon meeting, so she could be a bit more modest about what she wore, and with the pale blue silk she chose the deep blue sapphires set in platinum. The necklace pendant rested between her breasts in the moderately low cut bodice, and the ear rings were simple studs and did not dangle about her ears. A platinum comb with sapphires in a fanciful swirl pattern held most of her hair in place, and a narrow bracelet graced her wrist. Against the rain, she would wear a light cloak of deep blue to protect the silk from the rain. She was ready.

At the bottom of the stairs stood Klinton, and he was dashing. He was dressed in black trousers and black Hessian boots with a royal blue jacket and the official sash proclaiming his status as a Peer of the Realm. He offered his wife his arm and they braved the inclement weather to step into the car for the short ride to the Imperial Palace. It was a silent ride.

Palace guards allowed the car to pull under a covered portico and assisted the Marquess and Marchioness from the vehicle before they were escorted into the audience anteroom. There were a small handful of people waiting to see the Kaiser, and they milled about in small groups waiting their summons into the Audience chamber proper. Azjah slid her pale blue silk gloves on, and Klinton followed suit, sliding on his white dress gloves in preparation. Still it was silent.

At length, the Chamberlain summoned them inside and they were escorted to the Kaiser, who was seated alone today. Azjah dropped into a formal curtsey, her body screaming in protest as she held the pose waiting for the Kaiser’s leisure to release her. It came fairly quickly as she rose, waiting for his address to them. He wasted no time as he looked at Klinton, “You come before Us with news that We will rejoice in hearing?” It was a question, but clearly the Kaiser knew the reason for their request for an audience.

Klinton nodded, “Yes Your Highness, we have come to share with you the news that we are expecting our first born, who will be a loyal subject to your reign.” Klinton had practiced, and it came off as though he had been addressing the Kaiser for years.

[Azjah von Drachen Walde]

The Kaiser then looked at Azjah, his features dissolving into a smile. “We began to lament that you would ever give Us an Heir to inherit your properties, and your father’s holdings.” He rose then, stepping off the dais to take Azjah’s hand, “You will bring the child here for Us when it is born that We may christen it properly.”

He turned then and shook Klinton’s hand, congratulating him on this wonderful news. And then they were dismissed. It was over. No orders to remain for other events, and Azjah took five steps backward as custom dictated. One never turned one’s back upon the Kaiser. He left the audience chamber which meant they were not forced to walk out of the chamber backwards. They made their exit and returned to the house.

They lingered one more day as duty demanded some of the affairs of Rigel’s holdings be closed, and there were documents to file with the officials, but mostly it was simply approving or rejecting things that had already been documented and decided. The formality of the Marquess’ signature was all that remained.

The day of departure dawned cold and stormy. Rain lashed against the windows, and Katarine tried to convince the Marchioness to remain, to fly another day, but Azjah was in a mood as dark as the weather, and her home in RhyDin was where she wanted to be. Not here in the starched and detached world of Rigel.

The Port Authorities advised her that they had not been able to remove Kendrick 2.0 from the system, but they did not deem the ‘virus’ to be dangerous to her planned flight. She glowered as she sat down in the cockpit and began the preflight check list. The flight suit was uncomfortably tight, and she glanced at Klinton as he took the co-pilot seat beside her. “It is a good thing we did not delay coming. This will not fit by next week.” He smiled and reached for her hand as it rested on the control panel. “This is temporary you know. And you are beautiful despite what you think.”

She gave him a skeptical look. She did not feel beautiful, she felt fat and ugly.

They were cleared for departure and soon left Rigel far behind. Azjah spent a lot of time alone in the cockpit, the image of Kendrick driving her deeper into her dark mood. She preferred to sleep in the flight deck, and Klinton gave her the room to do so, though his questions showed in his eye when he did join her.

Their arrival in RhyDin found Eoin waiting with a driver and the Maybach for them, and they rode to the Palazzo in virtual silence. The weather was mild and sunny, but it did little to brighten Azjah’s mood. Eoin told her that the Prince and his entourage remained, and had been perfect guests, which brought a nod from the Marchioness.

[Azjah von Drachen Walde]

Klinton has been traveling since our return to RhyDin, and I have not had to discuss my revelation on Rigel. Work had kept me busy during the day, but alone at night in the Palazzo I was alone with my thoughts, and my new found worries.

Gabriel had taken over the responsibility of seeing to Mikhail and Raven’s stay, and it was very seldom that I even knew when they were within the walls of the Palazzo. That was just as well. The last thing I needed was for Raven or Shea to sense my unhappiness. Dyson seemed to know something was amiss, but he kept himself very circumspect, although there was always hot tea waiting for me, and periodically a small plate of fruit would be resting beside the steaming water.

I glanced at the fruit, and then down at my thickening waist line. Food was the last thing I needed. I got up and walked hurriedly away from the temptation to eat and out into the gardens. The twilight was just beginning to fall and soon I would need to make my way to Twilight Isle. The night should distract me from my dismal thoughts, at least for a while.

There came a soft brush of telepathic question, and I threw up the walls Gabriel and Lucien had taught me so long ago to keep out whomever it was that had sought to console me. I plucked a cluster of stephanotis from the gardens and slid them into my hair as I chastised myself. I did not even know whom had tried to reach me, the walls had gone up too fast for me to check. With a sigh, I turned and headed for the portal in town.

When I arrived at the Island, the Arch Mage was there, as were Gnimish and Artemus. As I took my chaise and got comfortable, our discussion took a turn I wish it had not. Topaz was far too astute, and her questions brought out some of the frustration I have been suffering of late. She looked at me after I had told her that shopping for the baby was not high on my priority list, and that having the boutique owner send things to the Palazzo was sufficient.

She was shocked, and began to admonish me about the joys of picking out baby clothing personally, which I simply cannot get enthusiastic about in any form. The very idea sends a shudder of revulsion through me.

She felt my choice of permitting the local boutique owners to do the choosing for me was missing the whole point of this time during my condition. She tried changing tactics then, “You mean you have horses, and have someone else feed them and ride them and clean out their stable?” She grinned, “What for do you have them then?”

I see absolutely nothing wrong with paying people to send the things the baby will need without my having to go pick them out, and the preparations for the child’s arrival are certainly being handled well enough by the contractors and Dyson. The child certainly will have no idea whether what it is wearing is ‘cute’ or not, and whether or not I have had any input into its selection. It is not a matter that concerns either the child nor myself.

Artemus had been listening, but his own spoiling of his daughter has given him a bias that I cannot hope for him to see beyond. He does not believe in reining in that one, and she will grow up to be a very spoiled child, which the world simply does not need any more of in any land. He took a seat, “in some regions, the person who raises the child is often viewed as more the child’s parent than the one who birthed it.”

I glanced coldly at Artemus. The last thing I wanted was his pearls of wisdom given his bias. Then I turned back to Topaz, “Absolutely.” Arturo does a fabulous job with the horses, and I am no professional and must rely on his expertise to get the most out of my horses. The employment of professionals to make the crucial decisions seems to me a very logical and sound way of approaching any situation.

Gnimish piped up then, and I was thankful for it, “Everyone knows babies are evil anyway, ya know.” He nodded sagely then.

I smiled at him, “Thank you Gnimish, they are.” The whole situation of having a baby destroying my clothing, of keeping me up at night, of embarrassing me in public was beginning to weigh on my mind heavily. There were too many places I needed to be where having a baby would prove disasterous.

Topaz’s expression was one of pure shock, “Oh my.”

Gnimish gave Artemus and Topaz a winning look, “A-ha, wise woman over there!” At least I had one person who understood my sentiments. Gnimish was the last person I expected to agree with, but having one ally was better than none as it seems that babies bring out the irrational factor in otherwise normal adults of any species.

[Azjah von Drachen Walde]

I smiled at the Gnome, “A vile necessity it seems.” Then I gave him a wink. Procreation of all species is a necessity, but it does not have to be a pleasant experience, and in deed, it is looking more and more vile in my view point. Why so many adults go all mushy over a necessity will probably elude me for the remainder of my days.

Topaz blinked, “Did your parents think of you as a vile necessity, Azjah?” Artemus perked up at her question, as though he were about to voice the same query.

She was clearly one of those who believe that pregnancy is something to be cherished and something to be thrilled about, and this sentiment is one I simply cannot understand. Nor do I wish to embrace such sentiments. Why do rational adult creatures go completely irrational over an impending birth? I glanced at her, “I do not know Topaz.”

Gnimish snorted then, “Bah, that ain’t relevant anywa’ fairy!” And in truth, it is not a relevant point. The point is that I view this thing as onerous and vile. What my parents may or may not have thought about this process has nothing to do with what I am feeling.

I could have hugged the old gnome. It certainly is not relevant. The relevance is that pregnancy is a painful, onerous condition that will result in a messy, filthy birthing of a slimy, screaming entity that will not be independent for 20 years after its arrival. What could possibly be ‘enchanting’ or ‘thrilling’ about this condition?? And that I am responsible for it.

Topaz grinned, “I couldn’t answer that question either. But, how vile could a kid be of you and Klinton? I’m sure it’ll be completely charming.”

I gave her a dubious look, “Somehow, I doubt that.” Then amending, “At least until it’s 20 or so years of age.”

Cory and Anjolie had been quietly enjoying one another when I heard Cory say to Anjolie, “we could join Topaz’s cause ‘n help convince Azjah.” And subsequently the gnome, who seemed to understand where I was coming from mumbled, “as vile as any other little, crawling, drooling, and messin’ thing.” I groaned. Topaz and Artemus did not need encouragement nor support.

Cory snickered, “Like Drakhan, Gnimish?”

The gnome looked over at Cory, “Nah, I was more thinkin’ of you after two drinks.”

Cory snickered back, “Much mo’ than two, gnome, I’m southern, ‘memba?”

Topaz giggled, “Of course, Lucien’s would be an arrogant, overbearing little hellion.” There was a sparkle in her expression that made me distinctly uncomfortable. “And it’ll put scorch marks all over the palazzo, every time I have to say ‘no’ to something.” She pondered that a moment, “How expensive is fixing scorch marks?”

Artemus was speaking up again, “Azjah will probably do what my parents did with me. Hand the kid over to a complete stranger when it turns like 8 years of age and never see it again till the kid is in his teens and has been brought up by those who actually care.”

I glanced again at Artemus, “How about the moment it’s born? Why wait until it is 8?” I knew Klinton would never allow such a thing, but Artemus’ personal baggage is not my concern. And whether or not I hand the child over to Klinton and a nanny are my business and not Artemus’. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a well trained Nanny, and boarding schools are fine establishments where manners and poise are well taught along side academics. The right boarding school can gain a child entry into some of the most prestigious universities in the world.

Artemus did not take the hint, “In the first few years it when the impression is made that the child will know who its parents are.”

I gave Artemus a dismissive wave, “Artemus, its not like it won’t know who its parents are.” Klinton would see to that. The child will know who its parents are without any doubt. The thing it may not know is the kind of coddling and running absolutely wild that Artemus’ daughter knows.

Artemus was not going to give up, “It may know you’re its parents, but will the child actually love you? Or resent you for not acting like a parent?”

[Azjah von Drachen Walde]

At that point, I resolutely turned away from Artemus. His philosophizing was growing annoying, and I had been in poor enough humor as it was. I didn’t need his making matters worse. If a child resents its parents for doing the best they can for it, so be it. Resentment for making sure it has the best life can offer? Nonsense.

I gave Topaz a chilly smile, “I’ll let Lucien take care of those details Topaz.” While Lucien had not said anything about Topaz expecting, there was something in her tone that suggested she was breeding as well. It was in her countenance, and her extreme view on pregnancy and shopping for the baby who is not yet here.

Topaz eyed me a moment, “You’re missing out Azjah, by letting everyone else do all the fun things.”

I choked on my water at that, “Fun?”

Gnimish snickered, “Clearly ain’t true, fairy, she’s already past the ‘fun’ part if she’s worryin’ about havin’ a kid.”

Topaz ignored the gnome, “Yes Azjah, fun. Like falling off a horse, falling into the lake, getting dirty.”

I gave her a dubious look, “somehow Topaz, those do not sound like ‘fun’ to me.” The fairy’s ideas of ‘fun’ certainly did not mesh with my own ideas. Filthy fingers, drooling, runny noses, screaming and don’t even mention the other end of the child. I shuddered. None of those things sounded like ‘fun’ to me. They sounded more like nightmares.

She giggled, “You just never had a mud baby gurgle at you. The image will cheer you up a hundred years later.”

Cory frowned as he made his way my direction, “Wha' on Gods green earth has ya in this state o' mind, Azjah? When I firs' heard news from ya being pregnant ya were all shades o' red 'n pink wit' excitement.” Cory was there when Klinton had made the announcement to the Isle.

I winced hearing Topaz, “I very much doubt that Topaz.” A mud baby would mean another set of ruined clothing as mud does not come out of silk very successfully. Then I closed my eyes hearing Cory, “things changed.” There was no point in going into what had happened on Rigel. No point in talking about my fears when there was absolutely nothing that could be done to change it. I had mentioned ‘wishes’ twice in front of the fairy, and she had simply ignored my attempted query.

He gave me a dubious look, “so drastically?”

Artemus, in his usual vein was so far off the mark as he commented, “she probably heard how much it hurts,” as he nodded at Cory.

Anjolie quipped at Artemus, “It’s not that bad,” Thankfully Anjolie answered him, and my response would have been far more acerbic. He has no idea what I have been through, nor the pain that I have suffered since I left Rigel. The pain of childbirth is hardly the thing that gnaws at me now. I sighed at Artemus, “Pain is not the point.”

Topaz interrupted my reverie, “that Kaiser must be ten times as nasty as Mikhail. Would you like for us to go run that Kaiser through for you?”

I could not believe that Topaz believed Mikhail was ‘nasty’, but before I could change the topic, she asked about going after the Kaiser. Such would be tantamount to treason, and I very much like this Kaiser, “It was not the Kaiser Topaz. It was something totally different.” The last thing I wanted was for anyone to believe the Kaiser was someone I did not respect and like.

Cory then seated himself on the end of my chaise, his gaze shifting from Anjolie to me as Topaz asked me just what had changed my views. I glanced at them both, “It really doesn’t matter, I can’t change it now.”

Cory frowned as Topaz said, “Sure it matters. It has you all sad and turned inside out.” Cory then added, “We're ya friends, dear. 'course it matt'ahs.”

Artemus continued to grasp at straws that demonstrated how little he knew or understood, “Is it because while you’re pregnant you can’t drink any scotch?”

Gnimish made me smile then, “That's probably exactly it, Art...now that she's sober she's seein' how evil babies are.” I shall be owing the wee gnome a debt of gratitude for his defense of my views.

[Azjah von Drachen Walde]

Anjolie gave a sharp look at Artemus and Gnimish, her voice icy in its clarity from the ring, “now is not the time for sarcastic comments.”

I shook my head at Gnimish and Artemus, “I am not missing my alcohol.” Then turning to give Cory a wan smile, “and I appreciate my friends.” It was both comforting and distressing to have anyone worrying about my feelings. It’s just that some things are not meant for public scrutiny and dissection.

Anjolie glanced at me from her ring, “Have ya considered adoption if you’re so unsure?” I shook my head at her, there was no way Klinton would allow that to be an option. We had entered into this with the intention of keeping this child and that is precisely what we would do. My worries and concerns would not change that.

Cory made himself comfortable on the end of the chaise, “We're all here fo' ya. Bu' somethin' like this is a big shock. There's an explination t'this ya no' tellin'.”

I curled up into as tight a ball as I could with my waist expanding on what felt to be a moment by moment basis, “There is, but it is utterly pointless. I can't "wish" this undone, now can I?” I kept myself from glancing at the fairy when I mentioned a ‘wish’ again. But she gave me a long look, “Of course you can, Azjah. Wouldn't be the first to wish for a miscarriage. It’s a stupid wish though.”

Then Topaz decided to speak directly to Cory as if I were not present, “She said something changed, but not what. And she’s worried it’ll ruin all her clothes.”

Cory frowned, “No, ya can't undo wha's been done in this situation. Had ya 'n Klinton talked 'bout havin' children?”

I dropped my head to my knees to regard Cory, “Yes, we did.” Oh, we had talked about it in great detail, but talking about it and living it, well, they were simply not the same thing, and realizing while I was home that I did not have my mother to talk to through all of this just made it that much more frightening.

Cory spoke very softly, “was it mutual?” He heard Topaz’s comments about ruining a woman’s wardrobe, and he could account for many shirts sullied by spittle and the like, he glanced at me then, “clothes are only cotton and wool. They can be replaced.” His voice was very soft, as though he believed that such a thing would be the cause of my change of heart.

I glanced at Cory, “I wear silk, not cotton and wool. Those are washable, silk is a different matter entirely.” If they believed it was simple vanity, perhaps this discussion would end sooner rather than later.

Topaz gave me a surprised look, “then buy something washable.” I raised both brows at her, and asked her why my life should have to be altered? I had always been told that children were as adaptable as the parents, so why was everyone trying to make me change? She gave me a shrewd look, “I don't think it's the clothes you're so worried about. It's not like you're allergic to anything but silk.” She pursed her lips before continuing, “Because Babies do that. You will be a mommy.” The tone of her voice changed into one of near rapture as she informed me that I would “be a mommy.” Again, as if this was something to be so overjoyed about. “Your life changed when you married Klinton, didn’t it?”

Artemus was not taking the hint that I did not care to hear his views on parenting, as his parenting skills were one’s I simply abhor. “Because that's what having a baby means. You have to change some things to fit the baby into your life, not your life into the baby.” He informed me, and I cannot disagree with him more. A child must fit into its family, not the family altering itself around the child. That simply cannot work in the long run.

I muttered at Artemus’ comment, “that’s what Nanny’s are for.” Then I spoke up to Artemus, “I disagree 1000% Artemus.”

He sneered slightly, “Of course you do Azjah, you like everything to conform to how you run things, something comes along that swims against the stream, you don't want anything to do with it.”

I nodded at Artemus, “Precisely Artemus.” I have plans and goals, and everything must conform to those plans. But I do not expect him to understand those goals and needs. He has changed his whole life and path to drop everything for his daughter, something I cannot and will not do.

He shook his head, “Being a parent means compromise, Azjah, you have to be willing to let some things change. You don't want your kid to grow up thinking you a cold, emotionless, robot do you?”

I turned slowly to regard Artemus then, “Don’t ask me that right now.” No one wants their child to think that about them, and yet, I cannot believe that doing the right thing for a child could result in such a thing. I also did not wish to engage in that discussion with the man.

He rose then, “Nothing but a big spoiled brat not ready for the greatest gift life can give her.” With that, he headed for the bar, and I was thankful to be spared any further pearls of wisdom from him. He was welcome to believe whatever he chose to about me.

[Azjah von Drachen Walde]

I shook my head at his departing back, “It is a gift to some, a curse to others Artemus. Never forget that.”

He turned then, “It's only a curse to those who never wanted children and have them. The people who say they never want children, always end up having them, either on accident or just to appease their partner.”

Topaz heard my muttered reply, “No. Your life changed when you became an official, everything brings about a change in your life.” She turned blue eyes on me then, “So, you said something changed... did your awareness of this change, or were you willing to adjust your life to being a mom and are not anymore?”

Cory moved a bit closer, “I can understand some worries, bu’ this path concerns me Azjah.”

I shook my head at Cory, “sorry,” It was better not to say anything about not being able to eat. He would just worry more, and I would not place that burden upon him.

He brightened a bit then, “Is this ya first experience wit’ children, Azjah?”

I nodded at him as Artemus once more interjected, “Proper course of action there...get to the root of the change.” I do not know why Artemus believes this is any of his business. Cory I understand, we have a friendship, but Artemus and I have nothing but a passing relationship from the rings.

Cory smiled then, “tha’ explains some, it’s nerves dear.”

I gave Cory a faint nod and very softly told him, “that must be it Cory.” I picked up my glass of sparkling water, and took a deep breath before finishing the remainder of the glass.

Cory was watching Anjolie, but whispered to me, “Wha' I suggest, is ya go home... sit Klinton down 'n explain wha' ya feelin'. Open up 'n confide in him. He's ya husband, he'll listen 'n offer ya solace.”

I shook my head vehemently at him, “Not a good idea. He’s so over bubbly, it’s not something I can do.” And I did not want Cory grabbing Klinton and ruining his pleasure at this time.

Cory gave me a puzzled look, “He's ‘bubbly’ 'n ya are somber. Direct opposites. If an'athin' he could cheer ya up mo' than ya friends.”

I gave him the best smile I could, “I’ll live Cory. No point in ruining his thrill.”

Cory mistook my words, “Ya sure will, Marchioness, ‘N ya’ll both have a l’il bundle t’call ya own.” He took my hand, “we’re here t’help, ya know.”

Others began to arrive, and Anjolie’s match was over. I could retreat to the privacy of my home without comment now. Druid had arrived, and I headed for the portal. I could feel Cory’s gaze follow my retreat until I stepped through the gateway into RhyDin.

I found Eoin near the car, and we slid silently into the vehicle. The thought of going home sat uneasily on my stomach, and I headed instead for the bluffs above RhyDin. I would need to get my thoughts under better leash. Another public discussion like that one could well get back to Klinton, and that was the last thing I wanted. It was in fact, the last thing I needed.

[Azjah von Drachen Walde]

We spend an hour or so on the bluffs before I returned to RhyDin and headed for the Isle. Perhaps I could undo some of the damage from tonight, but it was not to be. As I stepped through the portal, the first person I saw was Syous. Just the grouchy old man I needed to ice the cake tonight. I muttered, “wonderful.”

Gnimish heard me, and peered out from his ring, “and we agree yet again Azjah.”

I gave the gnome a soft chuckle as I found my chaise again. Topaz was no where to be seen, and I must suspect that Lucien must have finished his hunt earlier than usual.

Syous managed to snap out of his reverie, and quickly tried to focus solely upon the rings rather than myself, but I was of no state of mind to let it be, “And so Syous, have you sufficiently recuperated enough to venture out once more?”

He closed his eyes momentarily before turning toward me with a brow arched, “Recuperated?”

I gave him a cool smile, “Well, given your age and all Syous.... I am surprised to see you out and about so soon.”

Syous narrowed his eyes as our usual banter began again, “so soon? Perhaps it is you who are suffering from old age Azjah… your senses seem to be failing you. I don’t believe I ever left.”

His words bit harder than they should have. My senses might be failing me, maybe that is why this malaise has crept so insidiously into my life. “All the more astonishing Syous old man. that would account for the added grey I see.”

Syous flashed a wicked grin, “Well, say what you wish. Your perceptions are no longer shared by all around these parts...”

I gave him an equally wicked smile, “They never were old boy, they never were.” One thing I have never been was vanilla, and that always breeds people to disagree with me. I like it that way.

He nodded sagely, “just the other evening two individuals happened to comment that they thought I looked quite young.”

I laughed, there were always blind souls to be found, and Gnimish chimed in, “No they didn’t Syous! I was here!”

I chuckled then, “Quite young as compared to what? It’s all in one’s perception of time.”

Syous glanced at the gnome, “You weren't here... and even if you were, you were probably too drunk to notice in your depressed stupor.” He then glanced at me, and murmured as he did not have a come back for my observation, “true enough, but the fact remains, I have not needed to recuperate to ‘venture’ out once more, I’ve been here all along.”

I smiled slowly, “Ah, too exhausted to find a home, hmm?” Nodding slowly, “well, it’s certainly understandable old man.”

Druid felt that he had the perfect dueling partner for Syous and in fact called Syous and I into a ring as Syous peered my direction, “Hardly. Though were I rest is my business… be it here on the isle or elsewhere.” He then grinned in Dru's direction, “That may not be wise...”

I took a sip of the sparkling water the goblin had recently brought, “Yes, old moldy men can collapse where ever they need to Syous.” Then turning my attention to Druid I said, “Not a good idea at all.” At lease one thing Syous and I agreed upon, perish the thought!

Druid grinned, “You two obviously have the hots for one another, so might as well get it out of the way.”

Syous quirked a brow at me, “I’m moldy now, am I?”

I nodded, “So I have heard Syous.”

Syous glanced at Druid, “Just when I thought the two of us thought so much the same, you go and make a comment like that!” Then he narrowed his eyes at me, “Excuse me?”

Druid laughed merrily, “It's true, the two of you wouldn't fight this much if there weren't secret feelings of desire. So Saythe Dr. Ruthe and Phil!”

“Dr Ruthe and Phil are mistaken Druid.” I gave Syous a sweet smile then, “hearing failing you as well?”

[Azjah von Drachen Walde]

Syous muttered at my jab and the smile, shaking his head as he turned back to Druid, “You really are resembling Esper more and more each day.” Then he turned back to me, “It seems these past few days of peace and quiet in the dueling venues were but a momentary retrieve...”

“Of course Syous.” He certainly did not think I was disappearing on a permanent basis.

Syous muttered softly to himself before peering at Gnimish, “You haven’t found that dragonet as well, have you?”

Gnimish gave him a bright smile, “Why do ya think I finally got some sleep, Syous?”

Syous grumbled softly as he glanced upward for a brief moment, then he turned back toward the gnome, “did it get squashed?” His tone sounded almost hopeful.

The gnome smiled, all friendly-like at the old curmudgeon, “Nope, I brought it along with me tonight! Is that it behind you?” I nearly choked on my water at the obvious taunt.

Syous peered toward the gnome, as though not quite believing him, “I don't see any additional bandages on that small hand of yours... so I must say I'm not convinced.”

Gnimish kept smiling and gave Syous a shrug, “can ya take that chance?” I hid my smile behind my glass.

Syous grinned slyly as he folded his arms over his chest, “knowing you, yes I can.”

I spoke up then, “perhaps you would like a few more perforations Syous? I heard it told Tass that you tasted like rotten eggs. A bit sulphurous are you?” Then I gave him a sweet smile.

Syous glared slightly in my direction as he recalled a memory that seemed rather sour judging by his expression, “I’m glad you seem to take such pleasure of the account. As I stated that night, should it try to ‘taste’ me again, I will not be as ‘kind’ as I have been in the past.”

Both brows winged upward, “You called that ‘kind’? I didn’t know you have kindness in you old boy.”

As for how I taste, I rather don’t care how I taste, or whether I am a bit sulphurous. Perhaps it’ll help keep such vermin away.”

I shrugged, “doubtful, but then, some cultures do eat rotten eggs.”

He grinned wryly back at me, “You’d be surprised.”

I smiled, “Surprised at which point? That you taste of rotten eggs? I do not believe THAT would surprise me.” The acerbic taunting between Syous and myself was helping take my mind off other problems, and since I love a good exchange of barbs, I have found no one in RhyDin as perfect for such sport as Syous.

He quirked a brow at me, “I must say, that comment does not flatter you.... seeing how I can't seem to stop you from circling overhead.”

I gave him a soft laugh, “well, buzzards do follow carrion.” If he wanted to insinuate I was a vulture, then he must be the carrion that drew me.

Things went down hill from there. Gnimish was enjoying the barbs as well, and Syous left himself open for one of them, which brought the comment from Druid, “You left yourself wide open for it, I was just obliging enough to take the shot.”

I blinked at Druid, “Syous has admirers? Gnim, I had no idea!”

Druid laughed, “Yeah, it was a shock to me too.”

Gnimish chuckled, “Eh, don’t lower yerself to the druid’s level Azjah.” I returned his chuckle then.

Druid was clearly enjoying himself, “I mean, it's already apparent that you like him, Azjah, but now we've got a love triangle.” He shook his head, “That's right out of a fantasy/adventure story.”

[Azjah von Drachen Walde]

Syous glanced at Gnimish, telling him not to do him any favors, to which Gnimish replied, “Oh shut up, ya old coot!” I barely contained my laughter.

Druid continued speaking mostly to himself, “The Gnome, The Marchioness, and the Mage,” which brought a grumble from Gnimish not to include him into any of that story that the Druid was beginning to concoct.

Syous shook his head as he turned back toward Druid, pausing to give the gnome another cool glare, “How many times do I have to tell you Dru, I stay far, far away from the women of the isle?” Gnimish laughed, agreeing with Syous for a rare change.

I quirked a brow at Syous, “So Syous old boy, do you sleep in the rings after everyone leaves, or just haunt the groves?” Then laughed hearing Gnimish, “Ah, but the women are no worse than the males of this isle.”

Syous grinned slightly then, “As much as I'd love to haunt the groves, I do not reside on the isle any longer... where I reside is none of your business. You seem to stalk me enough here on the isle. I’d rather not have you visiting my home as well.”

I shuddered at that thought, “Ah, so when you said you hadn’t left, you were in error?”

Druid got very silly then, he glanced at Syous, “In that first part, he wanted to say, ‘as much as I’d love to haunt your groves,” he was speaking to Gnimish, but made certain that both Syous and I could hear him.

Syous shook his head no, “I simply meant I hadn’t left the duels.”

I gave him a smile, “Oh, well, you’re obviously an OLD fixture in the duels.”

Syous shrugged, “I admit, I’ve been here longer than most. How you can deduce I must therefore be an old, decaying curmudgeon from that, I do not know.”

Druid grinned at Gnimish, “I’m not even gonna comment on that one. That’s too easy, Azjah’s comment on Syous and his OLD fixture.”

I smiled at Syous, “woman’s intuition.”

Syous grinned wryly at me, “indeed… I’m not surprised that’s how you’ve made your deduction.”

I sipped the water, “antiquity is not always chronological.”

His tone was very sarcastic, “Unfortunately, I’m quite skeptical of that ‘magical’ system of logic.”

I had to laugh, “Oh, I have no doubt of that Syous, but it’s because of the curmudgeon side, I am certain.”

Druid made a face behind his mask, “She wants his curmudgeon...I coulda gone my life without that visual.”

Syous muttered, “Call it what you will, but that is who I am and who I continue to be.”

I smiled slowly at him, and practically purring, “we know.”

“If you perceive it as such, then so be it. As Dru said, I still have my admirers.” He glanced then at the gnome, “as undesired as they may be.”

Druid grinned at Gnimish, “that translates into ‘take me as I am, for what you see is what you get,” He grabbed a typewriter and started hammering away on the keys, with a running side commentary of Syous and my banter. He glanced at me, “And she would purr at those words with a…. heated gaze….”

I glanced at Syous, “Darling, every single celled amoeba has an admirer. Usually, it’s the creature that’s going to have it for dinner.”

Druid kept up his rattatattat on the keys, “care for dinner, later…”

I slid a smile at Syous, “did you know Syous, that there are even admirers for slime molds?” About that time Rhaine walked through the portal for the first time in ages since I had seen her.

Syous quirked a brow once more, then slowly grinned, “then it seems I am quite fortunate to have so few admirers. Perhaps the ‘curmudgeon’s’ way of life is not so miserable after all.”

Druid was happily typing away, “there’s a slime mold I think you’ll admire, Syous.” Type type type.

[Azjah von Drachen Walde]

I flashed the vampire a smile, “good evening Rhaine, it has been forever!” Then turning toward Syous, “the more disgusting the creature, the fewer admirers it has however.”

Druid was still writing in a fever, “its kinda disgusting, but it’s had several admirers…” type type type.

Rhaine smiled, “I’m not sure how long is forever.” She sat down at my chaise, and I told her that I simply meant it had been much too long since I had seen her. She shrugged, “any time is too long when its spent in a cage.” She got herself a glass of water and made herself comfortable in the sand.

I gave Syous a smile, “unless of course, the disgusting thing is just so fascinating it cannot be ignored, then that changes things somewhat.” Turning with a startled look at Rhaine, “cage?” I was hoping she would elaborate, but Druid’s voice brought my attention to him, “drat, the lovers quarrel’s been stalled.”

Syous smirked, “You seem to fail to see that your words simply support my philosophy.”

I gave Syous a charming smile, “Ah Syous, but which category are you? Old, disgusting, and with a few admirers who enjoy disgusting things, or rare and with a few select admirers?

Rhaine looked at me with a lazy smile, “speaking of some vampire?”

I chuckled at Rhaine, “not at all, we have been discussing the finer points of admiration.”

Druid sat back down, writing in a fever again, “which would you say I am? Rare with a few select admirers, or fair with a few disgusting admirers?” This is semi-good stuff.

Syous shook his head as he believed that our discussion had once more returned to perception. I smiled, “that Syous is a failing of language, to which Syous, there can be no common ground between us.” I took a sip of my water and smiled again, “The age gap is too great.

Druid kept writing, “It’s all in your perception, Azjah my dear,” type type type, “that is a failing of my, beloved Syous, which is ever a rift between us,” type type type.” “No matter how long it takes, I will ever truly feel for you,” He was grinning like a madman as he kept up his side commentary, “but you tempt me so, Syous,” I think I have a best seller on my hands here he told Gnimish as he kept writing.

Rhaine chuckled, “I won’t comment, being an old hag that prefers to listen.”

I smiled at Rhaine, “I need to return to the Palazzo now.” While I would have enjoyed spending some time with her, I needed to leave. She returned the smile,”by the way, I’d hope to see Gabriel one day or another, and thank him for his timely and efficient actions.”

I nodded, “He has been resting after his run in with a Master Vampyre.”

She nodded, “You've a gift of finding good workers... I'll be around more and will have enough patience to wait.” I rose and gave her a quick hug, “I must depart, but I am certain Gabriel will be pleased to hear that I saw you tonight.”

Syous quirked a brow as he nodded slowly, “Then simply heed this Azjah as you continue to "target" me in the future... I have learned restraint in my time here on the isle... but push too much, and you may just get a taste of how truly "disgusting" I can be.”

I gave him a charming smile, “Is that a threat or a promise?”

He grinned wryly as he tapped at his left temple, “perception my dear, perception. Perhaps we’ll find out one day.”

“Do your best, or worst, as the case may be Syous.”

Druid continued to type, “Though my heart says different, I must restrain myself’ Type type type ‘Do not hold back for fear of my rejection Syous’ Type type type.

Syous simply nodded his head deeply in response, “so be it.” He paused, then continued, “though, I hope for both our sakes that day need not come.”

“Syous, you do need to learn to live a little bit before your time is up.” I then stepped through the portal and found Eoin waiting with the car.