“0NE TW0 0NE TW0 0NE TWO UP! UP! LETS G0 LETS G0.” Crash clapped in time with the words blaring from his megaphone to rouse the kids into a line.
He thought it’d be fun to turn the Dragon’s Gate Dueling School into an obstacle course. Platforms, utility poles, and wall segments of varying heights broke up the space, with ropes and beams crisscrossing between in an emulation of an urban environment.
“WHAT D0 WE D0?”
*”SEE”*
“DUH. WHAT’S THAT EVEN MEAN?”
*”PLAN”*
The usual instructor side-eyed him.
“Y0P. Can't just L00K at your envir0nment, you g0tta SEE y0ur path– THEN?!”
“DON’T EAT SHIT.” The kids’ enthusiasm made up for how out of sync they were. Hopefully their balance was better. The instructor closed her eyes, barely stifling a smile.
“HA! W0RDS T0 LIVE BY!” Literally. “WHEN IN D0UBT Y0U--”
*“TUCK DA SHOULDER!”*
“ALL RIGHT FIRST TW0.”
Unbeknownst to onlookers, Crash was simultaneously drafting up a Wanted Ad:
RENEGADE G0D OF DRAGON’S GATE SEEKING SQUIRE
Must possess ANY of the following qualities including but not limited to: Remorseless, Shameless, Psychotic, willing to beat up children and old people without a second thought
Other qualities may be considered for this squire-hire
YOU GET:
One (1) fine glow-in-the-dark staff. So cool.
Bragging rights as the Squire of Dragon’s Gate which makes you A LITTLE fancy
Some smoothie coupons
What’s the catch!?
If you’re gonna whack anyone while squire, you gotta use this stick ONLY. Or else.
Must possess ANY of the following qualities including but not limited to: Remorseless, Shameless, Psychotic, willing to beat up children and old people without a second thought
Other qualities may be considered for this squire-hire
YOU GET:
One (1) fine glow-in-the-dark staff. So cool.
Bragging rights as the Squire of Dragon’s Gate which makes you A LITTLE fancy
Some smoothie coupons
What’s the catch!?
If you’re gonna whack anyone while squire, you gotta use this stick ONLY. Or else.
Shoulders shook with muted laughter as he sent it off to the holonet and the Outback printer to be collected and pinned to the Arena cork later.
((Squire rules and benefits can be found here. Crash is conveniently leaving out that the staff imposes empathy on its wielder. If this sounds like a fun foil for your character regardless of listed qualities, shoot me a DM))