“Here is an example of the new King’s Gambit T-shirt, the playoff edition!” Varseen exclaimed, holding up a shirt that had the KGM initials on the front, and the words “KING ME” written on the back. Varseen erupted into weezy laughs as he did so.
“King Me? What ridiculous nonsense is that? King Me is a term you use for checkers. This team has a chess motif. This inane drivel defies comprehension.”
“Now, now, Master Xanth”, the goblin wheezed, “You have to remember the number one rule of marketing. 1) If it looks cool on a t-shirt, it sells. KING ME looks cool on this T-shirt, therefore, it will sell. And besides, the majority of your fan base is demons, ogres, and goblins. They don’t know the difference between chess and checkers anyway.”
“You may have a point.”
“Also, I’ve order ten thousand of these.”
“TEN THOUSAND? How are we going to move ten thousand T-shirts before the playoffs have concluded?”
“Eh, we’ll figure something out. Luckily for you, I had five thousand made up in Teal.”
“TEAL? You cannot inspire fear and terror in your enemies by wearing Teal colored T-shirts! This is a nightmare!”
“Ah, Master Xanth, you forget the number two rule of marketing. 2) If you have a teal colored sport shirt, it sells.”
Xanth grumbled in distaste, but had to concede. “Very well.”
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Posted around various dueling venues and outlets:
Are you an outsider? Do people look at you with fear and scorn? Do human girls run at the sight of you? Are you hunted by prettyboy adventurers who just want to kill you for the experience points? Well there is a team for you! Join KING’S GAMBIT NATION! Whether you’re a ghoul, goblin, or gargoyle, you are welcome! Become a fan of KING’S GAMBIT and find the acceptance you’ve been looking for!
And while you’re at it, get your KING’S GAMBIT T-shirt today! Sizes include Large, Extra Large, and Ogre! Available in Teal! Get ‘em while the gettin’s good!
