A Well-Overdue Public Apology

[Alik Murphy]

I wasn't prompted or told to post this, and I've been going back and forth about doing it, or even coming back to RoD for that matter. But I felt like this was necessary.

For those who don't know, on Saturday, I got far too drunk and, long story incredibly short, made a complete ass of myself in the lobby. My actions were completely inexcusable. I made everybody extremely uncomfortable. I embarrassed myself, and let all of you down.

This place, this community, has given me something I haven't had in a long time. Friends. Companionship. A place where I can come and be myself. And acting like I did that night is a spit in the face to everyone who works so, so hard to make this place safe and comfortable for everybody. There are children here. Acting like that in front of them and saying those things is completely unjustifiable.

I'm well aware by now that I've been spiralling for some time now, and my behaviour has been atrocious lately. I've burned bridges and embarrassed myself and alienated myself from a lot of you. I know some of that is simply not fixable. I've come to terms with that. I know some of you think less of me now, deservedly so, and it breaks my heart to think about how badly I'm messing this up, and how close I'm coming to losing the only friend group I have left.

I'm sorry. So unbelievably unutterably sorry.

I'm getting help. I've got a new therapist, I'm on new meds. But more importantly than that, I'm committing myself to being a more mature, more reasonable person. I know it takes a lot more than words to show actual remorse, and commitment to change. I just hope I haven't pushed things too far, and that there's still a place for me here. And if this apology isn't accepted, then I understand. There's only so much patience you can have to put up with my horseshit.

I love each and every one of you, no matter what happens.

[Pharlen]

We're all human.

It takes a lot of guts and a lot of strength to admit to a problem, apologize for your actions, and to go forward. It takes a lot of thought to realize that you've gotten into issues and to realize that there are issues at all.

We're a family here, when we reach out to each other and keep in mind that we're all human behind the machines. Odd as that sounds. We're story tellers and players and we need each other. We need to keep going forward. So keep going forward.

Most importantly, communicate. Communicate communicate communicate! And take a moment to breathe, to think before you let yourself get upset, and when in doubt, ask!

You're good with me. Sometimes, I may be impatient or annoyed, but there is no one that has been so bad that I can't say 'yeah, okay, let's try this again, this time with fancy hats'. The fancy hats will be you're working to be a less angry you, and I'm letting you be that less angry you.

I hope everyone is able to try on those hats with you.

[Anya de la Rose]

I can't say it better than Pharl (surprise, I can't say much better than Pharl).

I'm happy you're doing the work, not for us but for you. We all make mistakes and have our moments. You've found the changes you want to make, and we're here to support them.