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[Raspberry]

Eleven years gone in exile to fix a mistake not of my own. After all, I spent eleven years in exile, what's more time lost? — is what I said, after all. So out of the frying pan and into the fire I would go. The essence of the void clinging to me after such long exposure and my body felt the weight of it all... and it was no surprise that upon my return I was met with,

"You reek."

The voice belonging to Mom. My connection by blood to this misfit and mix matched family. Blood that Karma and I do not share but nevertheless binds us one way or another. I was a bastard born of one nights lust, Karma was a cosmic joke in a sense, while Ivy was born of love. Lust, Joke, and Love. Pillars of life. There's also Beau — though Uncle John and his escapades with strippers were another story.

"So do you." I replied.

There's truth in that simple statement. Mom toyed with the void far more than I and the stain was permanent. The graying pigment of her skin, the blackness of her hair.

In a way this sight was a blessing compared to what I had seen in the other world. From a reaper who sought to create a memory of a dying world through the killing and harvesting of souls. All to trap them within a fragment of time so that they could `Live`. That creation had became so unstable and hope bleak that it had been a logical outcome that even Mother willingly agreed on.

And to stand there and watch from a distance because it was not your world.

This version of her. My version of her. Was far more desirable.

And at least with the consuming void taking the star meant that the false auracite dwelling somewhere within its vastness would continue to play as the so-called tomb of an ancient. I played my part yet here I am to now fill the role of elder daughter once more.

"Is mother really trying to marry Karma off again?" I said. What I wanted to say was `It's good to see you again. It's been too long.`

A luxury that wasn't to be. It seemed.

I looked at this person who was my parent and they seemed more interested in sharpening and inspecting a new weapon. Most likely made from their own hand. Though for a brief moment did Mom appear as if she were considering my words.

"What dwells below is your Mothers domain, not mine. I trust that she always has the best interests of family in mind. And we all know it's,"

"Politics. Theater. Karma will be used as a pawn so that the Queen may be free to maneuver down the line. I know." It's easy to become a little short. I felt a twinge of regret for cutting her off, even if I knew it was deserved.

The sound of one last stroke of the sharpening stone and then the settling down of the blade.

"You were supposed to bring her back.. This whole trip was meant to be that, a trip, and you all would come back and everything would be normal once more. Of all the disappointments, you were the biggest of them. Karma's continued refusal, Beau's mistake of having a child with someone in the past, but your willingness to allow it all to happen in the first place. That is the most disappointing."

It stung. But it wasn't unexpected. It could be that I've been conditioned enough to actually believe those words as fact, even if I somehow wanted to deny them.

"I can't control everything.. it's not as if they are children. I can't just grab Karma's hand and slap it, or pull Beau by the ear—"

"Can't you?" she said. Her dark, voided eyes staring at me now.

"If it were Ivy," — "It would never be Ivy in the first place." her voice had risen and I found myself quieting.

Because she's a suck up. The pride of the both of them.

"Would you deny Karma her wishes? Would you deny mine?"

"What exactly do you want?" she said.

I had no answer. What do I want? I want to relax. I want to not have to deal with more problems. I want to be able to sit and stare across the Twilight Sea without the fear of a looming catastrophe in the back of my mind. I want Karma to not be selfish. I want Mother to not be selfish. I want Mom to not be willing to just hand wave and say `I trust that she always has the best interests of family in mind`.

"You know I can't stand seeing you cry..." her tone was much softer.

I didn't realize it.. But the blurred vision and the feeling of something wet rolling down my cheeks. I must have started crying.

I want to be the selfish one for once.