Whiskey Lullaby Moments

[Sjira]

(Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2011 9:00 pm)

It had been an especially long but good day. The dockhands had been helped out not with hefting loads, but with putting buttons to their shirts and mending a sleeve that had been ruined somehow or another while working.

While she was sewing on one of many buttons that day and taking the time to glance aside at the pile of more to see to for the dock workers, she overheard them talking amongst themselves.

A story was being told of a lost love, of a love gone wrong tragically. Some of the details of it left the small one from Llothgar sitting still and forgetting to sew the buttons on. She pressed self to continue but the rest of that afternoon it was Panther that she thought of.

It simply seemed that she could not be busy enough or distracted enough to not think upon the feline sort. More than two years since eyes had even touches his face or form. Years she had put hands and body to such paces that anyone should have been forgotten, hated.. or something.

A slight smile was there. She adjusted her seating atop one of the dockside crates and chose another button to affix to another shirt that looked as if it was one man's only shirt.

She drew thread and needle through a button's hole while she thought of talks of bells and cat's eye pendant. Of hunting. Of love. There had been talk by so many that a bonding was sure to come one day. The last though brought a pricking of her right thumb.

Lips eased her thumb. How he was missed, that it was so hard to breathe at times. Even then. None knew how steeply she cared, still cared for him.

A pang of guilt spent through her and traipsed over her heart. Company was kept with the Ranger and she was still thinking of Panther. It was a troubling thing. Surely, Panther must be dead to be gone so long. Surely she should be allowing herself to fully care for another person.

'jira flicked a looked towards the men and found that they had stopped talking. Murmuring a reassurance the asking for forgiveness for looking upset until they went back to talking. This time, to the small one's relief, they spoke of ships and cargo instead of some captain and lady's lost love and tragedy.

The button was finished and the shirt held out to one of them before she started on another. There were enough there to keep her to silence and hands busy for hours yet to come.

Word had finally come, but not from the feline sort she had hoped that it would.

Days had been rough but it was not to be over yet. There was no balance on the slope she seemed to be slipping downwards on and nothing to grapple to.

S'jira had been in the inn that night and it was good to see Kitty again. Many would say she was wild and others might call her too rowdy or raucaus. The small one had thought of her as a friend for a very long time and she was trusted. Perhaps it was best that it came from her.

The hour was later than she had expected to stay at the Red Dragon. Weariness was pressing and s'jira had requested a rare glass of wine. On her way for the stairs, to seek the room she kept at the multi-storied place, Kitty's words were heard:

I haven't heard from him in a very long time. The last one was just to say he didn't know when he'd be back... if ever.

She knew what had been said, but the small one only heard.."he's not coming back..ever". Heart struggled and she had nearly sat down upon the stairs, right then and there within that crushing moment. The words had not been sent to her, but to Kitty. She now knew fully what Kruger must have been going through in her short absence without word sent to him.

Years, she had waited for Panther's return. Gods and more probably knew better than she did that she would likely wait even longer.

She remembered thanking her. S'jira remembered being glad that he was alive, though Kitty had said it had been a very long time since that much had been heard.

The small one had left Kitty with the words that the window would always be unlocked for him.

The gods played at their cruel game and she was worse for wear from it all. Still, she could not help to be, somewhere beneath it all, so greatly relived that he must still be alive.

Perhaps he had tired of her and a stronger love for another had been found. Perhaps he had found those who had once been lost to him so long ago? Perhaps something had crossed his path to keep him from returning of trials that she could not begin to imagine.

Madness was on the horizon and threatened her with its manic rumblings like distant thunder. She ignored it as best she could, too tired to think much further on it at the moment. Her head was hurting and felt as if moving through heavy, thick mud.

Once she reached the top of the stairs and made her way down the hall's way, it was to Panther's room she went and not her own that she kept there for days too tired or too late to walk to her home that lay beyond the northern, stone walls of RhyDin Proper.

The key was slipped from the pouch at her hip and into the lock belonging to his door. A room clean and with fresh linens, having taken care of it and Sid's room just a few days ago, she closed the door and locked it well behind her.

Belt and coinpouch, boots and the key were all haphazardly deposited on the flooring along the way. She was lost, completely and did not think of picking the things up. There was a time when, no matter the wound or issue, things would have been seen too properly and with as little delay as possible.

She looked absently, distractedly to the window and moved towards it. Hands met with the wood framework, then touched lightly against its glass before the window was unlocked and brought open half way.

The bed was crawled up into and she scooted under the heavy layers of covers and the huge pelt. It did not matter that the heat of summer that washed in from the night.

And from it all...s'jira wept.