Archmage Decree

[MurOllavan]

Greetings Isle. It is I, Mur Ollavan your new Archmage. With Isle Cleanup operations complete, it is now time for expansion planning.

1. Red Orc Brewery has been granted a monopoly! I have instructed the new goblin engineering corps to round up all non-conforming beers and they will be disposed of by myself over this coming weekend. Which brings me to two and three.

2. The new bathroom facilities have been stocked with toilet paper emblazoned with the visage of Xerzes. Many thanks to the goblin engineering corps for building these and for buying in bulk to ensure this lasts long beyond my reign.

3. All able-bodied (and that means all) goblins are part of the new goblin engineering corps of the Isle. Work days are Sun-Sat, every day after the morning service. Which brings me to sections four and five.

4. All goblins are required to convert from whatever stupid goblin religion to Minxism. Effectively immediately, with no exceptions. Goblins not converting to Minxism or found by the avatar to have non-Minxist paraphenalia by the end of this week will be cleansed of their blasphemy by the avatar via dipping in the volcanic lava.

5. Goblins converted to Minxism will attend the Minxist morning service where Archcanon Zugwag will tell them how they will rebuild the Isle with the help of the Divine Minx Trinity and a little hard work. After that, they will work in the new goblin mine east side of the mountain mining precious ores to support the new shrine and future facilities. Until night.

6. The new shrine will be built in the forest with the likenessess of the three Holy Minx. All goblins will start a weekly tithe to the statue of Kattria in order to buy penance for their thieving and backstabbing ways. Future services will be moved here once built.

7. Ah yes. The avatar. I have found a way to have the Celestial Tower accept the Ring of Klytus's energy and sentience, nicknaming the new entity the Tower of Celestial Judgement. The ring has the ability to send down an avatar of pure Celestial mana to enforce my decree.

8. I reserve the right to modify, add, or subtract to this decree at any time. Decision of the avatar in matters of life and death is final and binding.

[Harris]

The Keeper of Earth petitions the new ArchMage for the position of Enforcer in The Age of Mur to help keep the Isle clean and free of riff raff during his glorious reign. Qualifications include being faster than a speeding bullet, leaping tall buildings in a single bound, and being more powerful than a locomotive. Also, the ability to hurl large quantities of verbal abuse at lesser creatures, like Keepers of Water.

[MurOllavan]

I knew I forgot something.

9. Harris the Isle Enforcer will be granted a personal army of 5 goblins that will be freed from their mining duties to involve themselves with Harris-approved activities such as heckling the current Keeper of Water, attacking Xerzes on sight and fighting him to the death,drinking, etc.

10. Neo the Weeper of Water will be granted personal enemies of 2 goblins who will construct makeshift wings, halos and other fun objects during downtime. They will be instructed to follow him around the Isle during dueling hours in silent and melodramatic mimicry for the entertainment of the Islegoers.

[Kattria Minx]

Is this a trick to get me to visit the Isle?

[Gwen Minx]

I KNEW someday we'd have a cult following! YAY!

[Neo Eternity]

This has got to be the most stupid decree I've ever read.

[Skurj]

::makes rude gestures::

::hacks up a lugie and spits it at the decree::

::skulks off, muttering and cursing in goblin::

[Tristanie Minx]

::giggles madly:: Murlicious! So cute...

Murcy me...::giggles more::