Jeremy's Archives

[Jeremy Kane]

POSTER'S NOTES:

I don't know who wrote this. I don't really remember who sent it to me either.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

REAL MEN, REAL ROLEPLAYERS, LOONIES AND MUNCHKINS

A Study in the Four Categories of Gamers

The Real Man
The tough macho type who walks up to the attacking dragon and tells him to leave before he gets hurt.

The Real Roleplayer
The intelligent cunning guy who tricks the constable into letting you all out of prison.

The Loonie
The guy who will do anything for a cheap laugh, including casting a fireball at ground zero.

The Munchkin
Need we say more?


=== PLAYER RELATIONSHIPS ===

REAL MEN:
*Real Men* think they're brothers in arms.
*Real Roleplayers* hide behind them.
*Loonies* harass them with stupid suggestions.
*Munchkins* say "I'm a Real Man, too!"

REAL ROLEPLAYERS:
*Real Men* protect them, on the off chance they may come up with something useful.
*Real Roleplayers* sigh with relief to know they're not alone, and then get their characters involved in love affairs and death feuds.
*Loonies* harass them with stupid suggestions.
*Munchkins* say "I'm a Real Roleplayer, too!"

LOONIES:
*Real Men* ignore them.
*Real Roleplayers* sometimes harass them back by taking a stupid suggestion and making it work.
*Loonies* declare a pie fight at 20 paces . . . and cheat.
*Munchkins* try to imitate the jokes, and fall flat.

MUNCHKINS:
*Real Men* attack them on sight.
*Real Roleplayers* trick them into being cannon fodder.
*Loonies* make reasonable-sounding suggestions that will get the Munchkin killed in an amusing way.
*Munchkins* query, "What's a Munchkin?"


=== GENERIC ===

Favorite FRPG:
*Real Men* play AD&D
*Real Roleplayers* play RuneQuest III
*Loonies* play Toon
*Munchkins* play anything by TSR

Favorite SFRPG:
*Real Men* play Star Trek: The Roleplaying Game
*Real Roleplayers* play Space Opera
*Loonies* play a variant Spawn of Fashan
*Munchkins* play anything by TSR

Favorite 1920's RPG:
*Real Men* play Gangbusters
*Real Roleplayers* play Call of Cthulhu
*Loonies* play a very variant Spawn of Fashan
*Munchkins* play anything by TSR

Favorite SHRPG:
*Real Men* play Champions
*Real Roleplayers* play Superworld
*Loonies* play an extremely variant Spawn of Fashan
*Munchkins* play anything by TSR

Favorite modern day/spy RPG:
*Real Men* play James Bond, 007
*Real Roleplayers* play Justice, Inc.
*Loonies* play an unrecognizable variant Spawn of Fashan
*Munchkins* play anything by TSR

Favorite Post-Holocaust RPG:
*Real Men* play Twilight 2000
*Real Roleplayers* play The Morrow Project
*Loonies* play an extremely unrecognizable variant of Spawn of Fashan
*Munchkins* play anything by TSR

Favorite King Arthurian RPG:
*Real Men* play Chivalry and Sorcery
*Real Roleplayers* play Pendragon
*Loonies* play a variant of Spawn of Fashan so variant it shouldn't be called Spawn of Fashan anymore
*Munchkins* play anything by TSR

Favorite World/Setting:
*Real Men* play in Greyhawk/Sanctuary
*Real Roleplayers* play in Glorantha
*Loonies* play in Southern California
*Munchkins* play wherever has the most magic items

Favorite Gaming Magazine:
*Real Men* read The General
*Real Roleplayers* read White Dwarf
*Loonies* read the last few pages of Dragon/comic books
*Munchkins* read anything by TSR


=== FANTASY ===

Favorite Dungeon Activity
*Real Men* fight Red Dragons
*Real Roleplayers* bluff the Ogres
*Loonies* tell dirty jokes to Green Slime
*Munchkins* do whatever gives the most experience/rip each other off

Favorite Melee Weapon:
*Real Men* use Broadswords/Bastard Swords/Pole Axes
*Real Roleplayers* use Rapiers and Main-Gauches
*Loonies* use Stage Knives
*Munchkins* use whatever gives the most plusses

Favorite Thrown Weapon:
*Real Men* throw Spears/Javelins
*Real Roleplayers* throw Bolas
*Loonies* throw their friends' magic items
*Munchkins* throw whatever gives the most plusses

Favorite Missile Weapon:
*Real Men* shoot Long Bows/Composite Bows
*Real Roleplayers* shoot Crossbows
*Loonies* shoot Catapults loaded with offal
*Munchkins* shoot whatever gives the most plusses

Favorite Improvised Weapon in Barroom Brawl:
*Real Men* use bare hands/tables
*Real Roleplayers* use chairs, chair legs or pokers
*Loonies* use plastic Pepsi bottles or toothpaste
*Munchkins* use, you guessed it, whatever gives the most plusses

Favorite Improvised Thrown Weapons:
*Real Men* throw Munchkins (can you blame them?)
*Real Roleplayers* throw beer mugs, pool balls and rocks
*Loonies* throw Nerf frisbees
*Munchkins* are too busy running from the Real Men/Whatever gives the most plusses

Favorite AD&D Spell:
*Real Men* cast Fireballs
*Real Roleplayers* cast Find the Path
*Loonies* cast Otto's Irresistible Nose-Picking
*Munchkins* cast Smite Ruler and Transfer Loyalty of Populace

Favorite RQ3 Spirit Spell:
*Real Men* cast Bladesharp 10 on their swords
*Real Roleplayers* cast Demoralize on their foes
*Loonies* cast Befuddle on their friends
*Munchkins* cast Fireball

Favorite RQ3 Sorcery Spell:
*Real Men* cast Dominate Human on others
*Real Roleplayers* cast Damage Resistance on their familiars/themselves
*Loonies* cast Dominate Human on themselves
*Munchkins* cast Meteor Swarm

Favorite RQ3 Divine Spell:
*Real Men* cast Berserker on themselves
*Real Roleplayers* cast Heal Body
*Loonies* cast Face Chaos on the Crimson Bat
*Munchkins* cast Timestop

Favorite GURPS Magic Spell:
*Real Men* don't use magic, but they'll let the mage cast Hawk Flight on them so they can pursue the foe
*Real Roleplayers* cast Lend Language on the strangers they meet
*Loonies* cast Mystic Mist in the town square
*Munchkins* cast Enslave on the city guard

Favorite AD&D Psionic Ability:
*Real Men* use Body Weaponry
*Real Roleplayers* use Shape Alteration
*Loonies* use Sea Anemone Hypnosis
*Munchkins* use Assume Godhood

Favorite Alignment:
*Real Men* are Lawful Good
*Real Roleplayers* don't use alignment
*Loonies* are Amoral Silly
*Munchkins* are whatever gives the most plusses

Favorite Religious-type Character:
*Real Men* play Paladins
*Real Roleplayers* play Clerics
*Loonies* play street preachers or televangalists
*Munchkins* play Demigods

Favorite Non-Human PC:
*Real Men* play Dwarfs
*Real Roleplayers* play Morokanths
*Loonies* play a Dwarf-Elf halfbreed
*Munchkins* play whatever gives the most plusses/Demi-gods

Favorite Undead to Summon:
*Real Men* summon Ghosts
*Real Roleplayers* summon Wraiths
*Loonies* send in an AD&D troll wearing a sheet
*Munchkins* summon Cerberus

Favorite Way of Extracting Information from the Goblins:
*Real Men* torture them
*Real Roleplayers* cast Legend Lore/Telepathy/Mind Read
*Loonies* tell puns to them
*Munchkins* peek behind the GM's shield

Favorite Demon/Devil:
*Real Men* like Asmodeus
*Real Roleplayers* like Cacodemon
*Loonies* like Spiro Agnew
*Munchkins* like Satan's grandfather

Favorite God:
*Real Men* worship Humakt/Orlanth
*Real Roleplayers* worship Issaries/Lhankor Mhy
*Loonies* worship Hare Krishna
*Munchkins* worship whoever gives the most plusses

Favorite Miscellaneous Magic Item:
*Real Men* love Adamantine Claws
*Real Roleplayers* love Repulsor Rays
*Loonies* love Radioactive Teeth/+3 Kleenex
*Munchkins* love Uru's Hammer

Favorite Potion:
*Real Men* drink potions of Superheroism
*Real Roleplayers* drink potions of Animal/Plant Control
*Loonies* drink potions of Jell-O
*Munchkins* drink potions of Deity Control

Favorite Ring:
*Real Men* wear rings of Elemental Control
*Real Roleplayers* wear rings of Free Action
*Loonies* wear rings of Smurf Control
*Munchkins* wear rings of Infinite Wishes/the One Ring

Favorite Stick (Rod/Staff/Wand):
*Real Men* wield staves of Striking
*Real Roleplayers* wield wands of Healing
*Loonies* wield rods of styrofoam
*Munchkins* wield staves of Deity Power

Favorite Armor:
*Real Men* wear Plate Mail
*Real Roleplayers* wear Elven Chainmail
*Loonies* wear Horse Barding
*Munchkins* wear powered armor a la Starship Troopers

Favorite Helm:
*Real Men* wear a Helm of Brilliance
*Real Roleplayers* wear a Helm of Telepathy
*Loonies* wear a Helm of Blindness (``Works great against medusas'')
*Munchkins* wear a Helm of 360-Degree Vision with Force Field

Favorite Shield:
*Real Men* don't use shields (can't wield a two-handed weapon)
*Real Roleplayers* use a Kite Shield
*Loonies* use a panty shield
*Munchkins* don't get the previous joke/use a Shield of Automatic Parry

Favorite Glove/Gauntlet:
*Real Men* fight bare-handed
*Real Roleplayers* wear Gloves of Dexterity
*Loonies* wear THE Glove of Michael Jackson Charisma
*Munchkins* wear Gauntlets of Infinite Ring-Wearing

Favorite Footwear:
*Real Men* wear Seven League Boots
*Real Roleplayers* wear Boots of Stealth
*Loonies* wear house slippers
*Munchkins* wear Boots of Infinite Speed

Favorite Mount:
*Real Men* ride heavy war horses
*Real Roleplayers* ride palfreys
*Loonies* ride sheep
*Munchkins* ride heavy war tyrannosauri

Favorite NPC:
*Real Men* like Tarl Cabot
*Real Roleplayers* like Medea
*Loonies* like Doctor Who
*Munchkins* like Darth Vader/Teela Brown

Favorite Animal to use as a Familiar:
*Real Men* have Black Cats
*Real Roleplayers* have Owls
*Loonies* have Slugs
*Munchkins* have whatever gives the most plusses/Ancient Red Dragons

Favorite Kind of Elf:
*Real Men* like the Pinis' elves
*Real Roleplayers* like Tolkien's elves
*Loonies* like Santa's elves
*Munchkins* like Storm Giants with pointed ears

Favorite Kind of Dwarf:
*Real Men* like Tolkien's Dwarfs
*Real Roleplayers* like Glorantha's Dwarfs
*Loonies* like the Seven Dwarfs
*Munchkins* like Earth Elementals with beards

Favorite Food to take on Expeditions:
*Real Men* bring along burgers, fries, milkshakes, and pizza
*Real Roleplayers* bring along iron rations
*Loonies* bring along Froot Loops/aluminum rations
*Munchkins* bring along whatever gives the most plusses

Favorite Fantasy Author:
*Real Men* read J.R.R. Tolkien Lord of the Rings
*Real Roleplayers* read Robert Asprin's Thieves' World series
*Loonies* read Robert Asprin's Myth Adventures series
*Munchkins* read E. Gary Gygax

When they encounter a sleeping dragon:
*Real Men* wake it up and THEN attack it.
*Real Roleplayers* sneak away quietly.
*Loonies* tie its shoelaces together.
*Munchkins* have their 34th-level thief backstab it with their +17 Sword of Slay Anything, and then put all its treasure in one backpack and run away.

Favorite Town Activity:
*Real Men* drink ale in the tavern and start bar fights.
*Real Roleplayers* drink wine in the tavern and talk to everyone.
*Loonies* order watermelon daquiris and start food fights.
*Munchkins* say ``What's a town?''


=== SCIENCE FICTION ===

Favorite Science Fiction Weapon:
*Real Men* use Laser Pistols/Blasters/Light Sabers
*Real Roleplayers* use Stun Guns/Tanglers
*Loonies* use Thermonuclear Hand Grenades/Tripod Flamers
*Munchkins* use whatever gives the most plusses

Favorite Method of Handling Alien Monster:
*Real Men* drive off the Bug-Eyed Monsters invading the Earth
*Real Roleplayers* negotiate with the refugees from the evil Empire
*Loonies* hitch a ride with Vogons
*Munchkins* invade the BEMs' home planet and enslave them all

Favorite Science Fiction Movie:
*Real Men* watch the Star Wars films
*Real Roleplayers* watch ``2001: A Space Odyssey/2010: Odyssey Two''
*Loonies* watch ``The Three Stooges Go To Mars''
*Munchkins* watch the Star Trek films

Favorite Method of Space Travel:
*Real Men* use Hyperspace/Warp Drive
*Real Roleplayers* use suspended animation
*Loonies* use the Infinite Improbability Drive
*Munchkins* push the button and it goes

Favorite Star to Put a Colony Around:
*Real Men* colonize Beta Lyrae
*Real Roleplayers* colonize Alpha Centauri
*Loonies* colonize Cygnus X-1
*Munchkins* colonize wherever gives the most plusses

Favorite Science Fiction Author:
*Real Men* read Isaac Asimov
*Real Roleplayers* read Arthur C. Clarke
*Loonies* read Bored of the Rings/Doon/Hitchhiker
*Munchkins* read E. Gary Gygax

Favorite Monster:
*Real Men* like the Alien
*Real Roleplayers* like the Moties
*Loonies* like the beach ball from Dark Star
*Munchkins* like E.T.

Favorite Variant Human:
*Real Men* play Heavy Worlders
*Real Roleplayers* play Light Worlders/Spacers
*Loonies* play Sex Androids
*Munchkins* play Enhanced Humans with all the advantages


=== CALL OF CTHULHU ===

Favorite Spell:
*Real Men* don't believe in magic
*Real Roleplayers* cast Elder Sign
*Loonies* cast Summon Smurf
*Munchkins* cast Control Cthulhu

Favorite Monster:
*Real Men* like Deep Ones
*Real Roleplayers* don't like any of them
*Loonies* like Masters of the Universe Slime
*Munchkins* like Azathoth

Favorite Type of Character to Play:
*Real Men* play Private Investigators
*Real Roleplayers* play Professors of Ancient Egyptian Archaeology
*Loonies* play Red Indian Sex Maniacs
*Munchkins* play Magic-Users


===PARANOIA===

Capsule Opinion:
*Real Men* think the weapons are OK, but hate the background.
*Real Roleplayers* think the campaigns are too short.
*Loonies* think the game isn't funny enough.
*Munchkins* don't think the game is supposed to be funny.

Favorite Service Group:
*Real Men* like Armed Forces.
*Real Roleplayers* like Tech Services and CPU.
*Loonies* like R&D.
*Munchkins* like IntSec.

Favorite Secret Society:
*Real Men* like Anti-Mutant, Frankenstein Destroyers, and PURGE.
*Real Roleplayers* like Free Enterprise and Sierra Club.
*Loonies* like Corpore Metal, Death Leopard, and Mystics.
*Munchkins* like Psion.

Favorite Mutant Power:
*Real Men* like Adrenalin Control.
*Real Roleplayers* like Hypersenses.
*Loonies* like Project Total Chaos.
*Munchkins* like characters with the works.

Favorite Weapon:
*Real Men* like cone rifles.
*Real Roleplayers* like laser pistols.
*Loonies* like chainsaws and anything from R&D.
*Munchkins* like Plasma Generators.

Favorite Target:
*Real Men* shoot Commie Mutant Traitors.
*Real Roleplayers* shoot the Munchkins' characters.
*Loonies* shoot anything fragile-looking.
*Munchkins* shoot anything in sight, starting with the other PCs.

Favorite Mission:
*Real Men* like to hunt down Commie Mutant Traitors.
*Real Roleplayers* like to try to survive the briefing.
*Loonies* like to place themselves under surveillance and report hourly.
*Munchkins* like to attack a rival Alpha Complex.


=== TEENAGERS FROM OUTER SPACE===

Capsule Opinion:
*Real Men* can't understand the game at all.
*Real Roleplayers* think the game is silly.
*Loonies* think the game is about them.
*Munchkins* want to play their 700-point Champions character.

Favorite Character Type:
*Real Men* play Near Humans.
*Real Roleplayers* play Humans.
*Loonies* play green fuzzy blobs that drip slime.
*Munchkins* play Deities.

Favorite Powers:
*Real Men* have Superspeed, Monster Out, and Superstrength
*Real Roleplayers* have Teleport, Deep Freeze, and Talk to Aliens.
*Loonies* have Bounce, Summon Pizza, and Telephone.
*Munchkins* have all of them.

Favorite Knacks:
*Real Men* like Shoot Big Raygun and Flying Saucer Piloting.
*Real Roleplayers* like Figure Things Out and Look Cool in Shades.
*Loonies* like Weird Science and Eat Anything.
*Munchkins* like Do Anything I Want.

Favorite Weapon:
*Real Men* like Zap Guns.
*Real Roleplayers* like Duplicator Guns.
*Loonies* like Goop Guns and Boy/Girl Guns.
*Munchkins* like AT-AT Walkers.

Favorite Transportation:
*Real Men* use flying saucers.
*Real Roleplayers* use the Number 42 Crosstown Expedience Route.
*Loonies* use Rocket Sneakers.
*Munchkins* use Battlestars.


=== CHAMPIONS ===

Capsule Opinion:
*Real Men* think this is how the world *should* be.
*Real Roleplayers* think there's too much combat.
*Loonies* think it's a great system for simulating reality.
*Munchkins* think starting characters don't have enough points.

Favorite Character Type:
*Real Men* like Bricks.
*Real Roleplayers* like Mentalists.
*Loonies* like Cream-Puff Projectors.
*Munchkins* like visiting Gods.

Favorite Power:
*Real Men* like Damage Resistance.
*Real Roleplayers* like Telepathy.
*Loonies* like Instant Change with the advantage Usable on Others.
*Munchkins* like Autofire Find Weakness.

Favorite Attribute:
*Real Men* like Strength.
*Real Roleplayers* like Ego.
*Loonies* like Comeliness.
*Munchkins* like Speed.

Favorite Disadvantage:
*Real Men* like Berserk.
*Real Roleplayers* like Psychological Limitations.
*Loonies* like Dependency on Spinach Egg Noodles.
*Munchkins* like Unusual Looks.

Favorite Power Limitation:
*Real Men* like Always On.
*Real Roleplayers* like Limited Uses.
*Loonies* like Activation on 8-.
*Munchkins* like Focus and Multipower.

Tactics in Hostage Situations:
*Real Men* demonstrate what'll happen to villians who injure hostages.
*Real Roleplayers* create an illusion of the hostages getting away.
*Loonies* taunt the villians.
*Munchkins* waste the villians with their 10d6 Autofire Armor-Piercing Ranged Killing Attack, and use Regeneration Usable on Others to heal the injured bystanders.


=== FANTASY HERO ===

Capsule Opinion:
*Real Men* like how expensive magic is.
*Real Roleplayers* don't like how expensive magic is.
*Loonies* like the bizzare disadvantages you can create.
*Munchkins* like the crossover from Champions.

Character Type:
*Real Men* play Dwarven Knights.
*Real Roleplayers* play Elven Mages.
*Loonies* play Halfling Knights.
*Munchkins* play their Champions characters.

Favorite Spell Limitations:
*Real Men* wish there weren't any, so magic would be even more expensive.
*Real Roleplayers* like Gestures, Incantation, and Concentrate.
*Loonies* like Side Effects.
*Munchkins* use the Champions rules.

Favorite Spells:
*Real Men* like any kind of magic greatsword.
*Real Roleplayers* like Percieve and Illusions.
*Loonies* like Dominate usable on Self Only.
*Munchkins* like Blast, Variable Advantage, Reduced END to zero.


=== GURPS ===

Capsule Opinion:
*Real Men* think there aren't enough combats.
*Real Roleplayers* think there aren't enough supplements.
*Loonies* think there aren't enough disadvantages.
*Munchkins* think there aren't enough hit points.

Favorite Advantages:
*Real Men* like Combat Reflexes, Strong Will, High Pain Threshold and Toughness.
*Real Roleplayers* like Charisma, Danger Sense, Empathy, Literacy and Voice.
*Loonies* like Luck, Absolute Timing and Unusual Background.
*Munchkins* like Magery 3, Patron (Superman), and PK (80).

Favorite Disadvantages:
*Real Men* like Gigantism and Berserk
*Real Roleplayers* like Sense of Duty and Poverty
*Loonies* like Severe Delusions, Severe Phobias, Split Personality, Total Pacifism and Berserk - all at the same time.
*Munchkins* like Enemies and Dependents (for the points).

Favorite Skills:
*Real Men* like Brawling, Two-Handed Sword, Broadsword and Shield.
*Real Roleplayers* like Acting, Bard, Detect Lies, Diplomacy, Fast-Talk, Merchant, Savoir-Faire and Streetwise.
*Loonies* like to use ALL skills at a default level of 5.
*Munchkins* like Fast-Talk GM and Whine.

Favorite Combat Spell:
*Real Men* don't use magic.
*Real Roleplayers* cast Blur and Flash.
*Loonies* cast Create Object (cream pies) and throw them.
*Munchkins* cast Armor, Shield, Invisibility and Deathtouch.

Favorite Non-Combat Spell:
*Real Men* still don't use magic.
*Real Roleplayers* cast Major Healing.
*Loonies* cast Drunkenness on the other PCs including themselves.
*Munchkins* cast Linking spells on everything they own.

Favorite Supplement:
*Real Men* like Horseclans and Ice Age.
*Real Roleplayers* like Space, Horror and Japan.
*Loonies* like Toon.
*Munchkins* like Fantasy, Horror and Autoduel - in the same game.

Supplement Most Wanted:
*Real Men* want Wild West and World War II.
*Real Roleplayers* want Illuminati.
*Loonies* want Pet Rocks/Creeks & Crawdads.
*Munchkins* want Supers and Mecha, to add to their Fantasy/Horror/Autoduel game.


===VILLAINS AND VIGILANTES===

Capsule Opinion:
*Real Men*: Don't like to adhere to the Superhero Code enforced by the government.
*Real Roleplayers*: Join the government peacekeeping force.
*Real Loonies*: Represent themselves at their trials.
*Real Munchkins*: Are above the Superhero Code (aren't they?)

Favorite Character Type:
*Real Men*: Play 600 pound Bricks.
*Real Roleplayers*: Play telepaths.
*Real Loonies*: Play insane androids.
*Real Munchkins*: Play alien sorcerers.

Favorite Power:
*Real Men*: Like Invulnerability and Armor A.
*Real Roleplayers*: Like Psionics.
*Real Loonies*: Like Mutant Power.
*Real Munchkins*: Like Power Absorption.

Favorite Ability Score:
*Real Men*: Like Endurance.
*Real Roleplayers*: Like Intelligence.
*Real Loonies*: Like Charisma.
*Real Munchkins*: Like Agility.

Favorite Weakness:
*Real Men*: Like Mute.
*Real Roleplayers*: Like Physical Handicap.
*Real Loonies*: Like Psychosis.
*Real Munchkins*: What weaknesses?

Favorite Battle Tactics:
*Real Men*: Pound villains into the ground or throw buses.
*Real Roleplayers*: Wear their opponents down before finishing them off.
*Real Loonies*: Dump a bucket of Cool Whip on a villain's head and talk about Planet of the Apes.
*Real Munchkins*: Negate their friend's attacks so they get all the experience themselves.

Favorite Combat Maneuver:
*Real Men*: Like the Fastball Special.
*Real Roleplayers*: Like to trick villains into attacking each other instead of the heroes.
*Real Loonies*: Like Multiple Back Attacks.
*Real Munchkins*: Like Multiple Weakness Detection.

Favorite Canned Adventure:
*Real Men*: Like Death Duel with the Destroyers.
*Real Roleplayers*: Like FORCE.
*Real Loonies*: Like The Dawn of DNA.
*Real Munchkins*: Like Devil's Domain and Dawn of the Devil.

Favorite Member of the Crushers:
*Real Men*: Like Bull.
*Real Roleplayers*: Like FIST.
*Real Loonies*: Like Mocker.
*Real Munchkins*: Like Mercury Mercenary.

Favorite Member of the Crusaders:
*Real Men*: Like Enforcer.
*Real Roleplayers*: Like Dreamweaver.
*Real Loonies*: Like Laserfire.
*Real Munchkins*: Think the Crusaders are wimps.

Favorite Member of the Destroyers:
*Real Men*: Like Behemoth.
*Real Roleplayers*: Like Iron Maiden.
*Real Loonies*: Like Ratman.
*Real Munchkins*: Like Annihilator.

Favorite Member of the Errants:
*Real Men*: Like Adonis.
*Real Roleplayers*: Like Cockroach.
*Real Loonies*: Like Shee-Ariel.
*Real Munchkins*: Like Dr. DNA.

Favorite Member of the Force:
*Real Men*: Like Mister Magnum.
*Real Roleplayers*: Like Shadarkos.
*Real Loonies*: Like Cicada.
*Real Munchkins*: Like FORCE.

Favorite Attack Style:
*Real Men*: Shout warcry, and wade into battle.
*Real Roleplayers*: Parry and counterattack; protect comrade's backs.
*Real Loonies*: Throw sword at opponant, then attack with scabbard and lunchbox.
*Real Munchkins*: Leap in with secret 'twisted lotus' ninja decapitation strike.


===TORG===

Capsule Opinion:
*Real Men*: Like the non-stop action and senseless carnage..
*Real Roleplayers*: Like the cinematic story telling style.
*Real Loonies*: Like the High Lords' fashion sense.
*Real Munchkins*: Would like to get at least 10 possibilities per scene.

Favorite Character Template for each Cosm

Core Earth:
*Real Men*: Soldier of Fortune
*Real Roleplayer*: Adventurous Scholar
*Loonie*: Dilantette
*Munchkin*: Prodigy Psionic Ninja Reality Raider

Living Land:
*Real Men*: Edeinos Gone Native
*Real Roleplayers*: Edeinos Optant
*Loonies*: Inquisitive Stalenger
*Munchkins*: none, the Living Land doesn't interest Munchkins, except as a place to practice their deforestation techniques

Cyberpapacy:
*Real Men*: Disillsioned Hero
*Real Roleplayer*: Psychologist
*Loonie*: Old Man
*Munckin*: Renegade Hospitalier

Nile Empire:
*Real Men*: Jungle Warlord / Dark Avenger (tie)
*Real Roleplayers*: Egyptain Priestess
*Loonies*: Teenage Sidekick
*Munchkins*: Gadget Hero (to build a zillion gizmos) with a boatload of pulp powers

Orrorsh:
*Real Man*: Werewolf
*Real Roleplayers*: Saccellum Priest
*Loonies*: Victorian Madman
*Munckins*: Ninja Vampire

Aysle:
*Real Men*: Giant Bruiser
*Real Roleplayers*: Unwilling Seer (see Infiniverse)
*Loonies*: Elven Dragon Rider
*Munckins*: Tie - Giant Priestess (have you seen the Aysle Miracles???) or Elven Wizard

Nippon Tech:
*Real Men*: yakuza enforcer
*Real Roleplayers*: Megacorp CEO
*Loonies*: Priest of Palan
*Munchkins*: Rijato Battlesuit Warrior

Land Below:
*Real Men*: Leopard Man
*Real Roleplayers*: Pyrian Priestess
*Loonies*: Keefee Harloo
*Munchkins*: Ungrosh

Space Gods:
*Real Men*: tie- Akashan Monitor and Gustasko Warrior
*Real Roleplayer*: Draygaak Scholar
*Loonies*: Comaghaz Cell Leader
*Munchkins*: Ahaskan Psi Warrior (see Phoenix in the X-men for a description)

Tharkold:
*Real Men*: Mutant Race Warrior
*Real Roleplayers*: UCLA Hacker
*Loonies*: Video Vigilante
*Munchkins*: Demon Warlord

Favorite Cosm:
*Real Men*: Nile Empire
*Real Roleplayers*: Nippon Tech
*Loonies*: Land Below
*Munchkins*: Tharkold

Favorite Skill:
*Real Men*: Unarmed Combat
*Real Roleplayers*: Persuasion
*Loonies*: Scholar (Comic Books)
*Munchkins*: Pain Weapon

Favorite World Law:
*Real Men*: The Law of Pain
*Real Roleplayers*: The Law of Honor/Corruption
*Loonies*: The Law of One True God
*Munchkins*: The Power of Fear

Favorite Character from the Novel Trilogy:
*Real Men*: Ace Decker
*Real Roleplayers*: Fr. Bryce
*Loonies*: James Munroe Decker
*Munchkins*: Kurst

Favorite Module:
*Real Men*: The Forever City
*Real Roleplayers*: Central Valley Gate
*Loonies*: Crucible of Pain
*Munchkins*: City of Demons


=== MISCELLANEOUS ===

Favorite Bar to Hang Out In:
*Real Men* hang out at the Vulgar Unicorn
*Real Roleplayers* hang out at the White Hart
*Loonies* hang out at the Big Bang Burger Bar/Restaurant at the End of the Universe
*Munchkins* hang out wherever they don't get carded

Favorite Superhero:
*Real Men* like Batman (The Dark Knight)
*Real Roleplayers* like Jericho
*Loonies* like Bat-Mite/Flaming Carrot/Cutey Bunny
*Munchkins* like Galactus

Favorite Modern weapon:
*Real Men* use .44 Magnums
*Real Roleplayers* use Walther PPKs
*Loonies* use water pistols
*Munchkins* use Infinite-Repeating Uzis

Favorite Actor:
*Real Men* like John Wayne
*Real Roleplayers* like Claus Kinski
*Loonies* like Curly
*Munchkins* watch Saturday-morning cartoons

Favorite Actress:
*Real Men* like Raquel Welch
*Real Roleplayers* like Adrienne Barbeau
*Loonies* like Phyllis Diller
*Munchkins* are far too young to know about Sex

Favorite Actor to play James Bond:
*Real Men* like Sean Connery
*Real Roleplayers* like George Lazenby
*Loonies* like David Niven
*Munchkins* like Roger Moore

Favorite Card Game:
*Real Men* play Gin
*Real Roleplayers* play Bridge
*Loonies* play Fizzbin/Fungus and Fruitbats
*Munchkins* cheat at Poker

Favorite Music:
*Real Men* listen to Bruce Springsteen
*Real Roleplayers* listen to 14th-century madrigals
*Loonies* listen to Weird Al Yankovic
*Munchkins* watch MTV

Favorite Magazine:
*Real Men* read Soldier of Fortune and argue about whether the ads are real.
*Real Roleplayers* read the Journal of Abnormal Psychology and argue about the point value of disadvantages.
*Loonies* read National Lampoon and bitch about how it's gone downhill.
*Munchkins* read comic books and argue about whether Spider-Man should have married MJ.

Favorite Convention Activity:
*Real Men* ``Do the Dealer's Room''/hang out in the con suite
*Real Roleplayers* go to seminars/hide in their rooms and play games
*Loonies* play video games/do hoax zines
*Munchkins* run and shout and cut in lines

Favorite Gaming Awards:
*Real Men* vote for the (new) Charles Roberts awards from 3W
*Real Roleplayers* vote for the Origins Awards
*Loonies* come in at the end of the Origins ceremony to vote on the Silver Hatchets
*Munchkins* vote for the Strategists Club awards

Favorite Type of Dice:
*Real Men* like 20-siders
*Real Roleplayers* use three 6-siders
*Loonies* use 30-sided for everything
*Munchkins* have them all, and like to roll as many as possible

Favorite Way to Die:
*Real Men*: In battle, with boots on, going down swinging.
*Real Roleplayers*: On deathbead, after lengthy dramatic farewell speech.
*Real Loonies*: Laughing while jumping into a portable hole, and carrying a bag of holding.
*Real Munchkins*: Die? You're kidding, right?

Residence:
*Real Men*: Wherever he hangs up his two-hander
*Real Roleplayers*: Elsinor
*Real Loonies*: Toontown
*Real Munchkins*: Valhalla (after kicking out previous occupants)

Favorite Specialist Mages in AD&D:
*Real Men*: don't like magic, but if they have to play a mage, they'll be an invoker w/ lots of fireballs or a transmuter w/ strength and enlarge.
*Real Roleplayers*: enchanter or illusionist
*Real Loonies*: illusionist with ventriloquism, audible glamer, and spectral force, conjurer scecializing in create banana peel spell, or a transmuter specializing in polymorph self into a random creature, plant, or object (preferably tofu).
*Real Munchkins*: a multi-classed abjurer/conjurer/diviner/enchenter/illusionist/ invoker/necromancer/transmuter.

Favorite Silly RPG:
*Real Men*: Play Macho Women With Guns/Renegade Nuns On Wheels/Batwinged Bimbos From Hell.
*Real Roleplayers*: Play Toon/TFOS
*Real Loonies*: Don't care about the system.
*Real Munchkins*: Don't like silly FRP's.

Favorite TOON Character:
*Real Men*: Play Carnivores.
*Real Role-Players*: Play Herbivores.
*Real Loonies*: Play Richard Nixon.
*Real Munchkins*: Don't understand the game and make a character to take advantage of loop-holes to build a powerful character.


And finally, the best characterization of the four types of gamers...

Dealing with a Dragon:
*Real Men*: Slay it. Preferably alone and with bare hands.(is this a trick question or what?)
*Real Roleplayers*: Con it out of all its treasure, leaving the dragon (and the GM) thinking it got the better deal.
*Real Loonies*: Summon the Sta-Puft marshmallow man.
*Real Munchkins*: Kill it, make armor out of the hide, and then resurrect it as a familiar.

[Napoleon Bonarat]

These are great. I miss MadMadMax too!

[Klytus]

Why thank you! It is very nice to be remembered.