Challenge for Old Temple

Maria Graziano · Post by **Maria Graziano** » Wed Apr 14, 2010 9:09 pm

G'nort,

The answer is still no. I would be curious as to why you're still interested even though you believe me to have a cottage cheese issue but clearly you love thunder thighs.

Harris,

Not every guy is interested in a woman that resembles a stick. I'm quite happy with the size of my ass but I appreciate your concern over it. As for envying G'nort's man junk, I've yet to see proof that exists but I'll take your word for it. I'm not really sure why I would envy such a piece of equipment. My career has been proof that I can do anything a man can do and I can wear a short skirt. Peeing standing up seems overrated.

M.G.

Harris · Post by **Harris** » Sat Apr 17, 2010 3:10 am

Maria,

As the topic has shifted to your ass I suppose it's only appropriate to inform you of the kicking it will be receiving soon from your challenger. My suggestion is to invest in the same form of padding you undoubtedly had to use to protect your posterior from improper abuse when you were married to Bode, assuming he didn't wear it out. If he did wear it out... The padding that is, then you should in fact purchase more. That is all.

Anubis Karos · Post by **Anubis Karos** » Sat Apr 17, 2010 3:42 am

Hm. This reminds me. Perhaps you should buy some padding, if you ever challenge me again. For Stick's ass.

Maria Graziano · Post by **Maria Graziano** » Sat Apr 17, 2010 7:39 am

First and foremost, my ass will be meeting Red's ass this coming Thursday at 9:30. Dio has agreed to call. I think my second and colors are pretty apparent at this point.

Harris,

My ass is going to be kicked by somebody who is known more for who they've slept with than their own credentials? By somebody who at the time the challenge was issued hadn't dueled since I was in high school? You have to base these insults in reality or they're absurd and don't irritate me.

By the way, do you think that Bode would have ever had the guts to abuse anything of mine? Liquid courage only goes so far and I'm still the baddest chick in town.

M.G.

Harris · Post by **Harris** » Sat Apr 17, 2010 8:35 am

Maria,

Considering Bode saddled you with the spawn from his loins I'd say that's more than enough abuse already. Do you receive child support of some kind, at least in keg form?

As for your impending defeat at the hands of your challenger, have you seen how tall she is? After taking into account her obvious reach advantage, her +1 for being an Amazon, and the "Not violated by Bode" factor I don't see any reason for her to not come away victorious.

Red urThorne · Post by **Red urThorne** » Sat Apr 17, 2010 9:42 am

Actually, I don't think many people know the one person I've slept with around these parts, I know, just one? Crazy talk. I'm pretty sure more people know me for being MVP in TDL, probably. I also participated in the warlord tourney and dueled several times before I challenged, though they were not listed as of yet.

Still, I'm not much of a kicker, it's hard to do that wielding a bastard sword.

Cheers,

Red

Maria Graziano · Post by **Maria Graziano** » Sat Apr 17, 2010 5:22 pm

Harris,

I'm not really sure how having a sexual relationship with a former diamond, former opal, and former baron makes me any less of a dueler but you keep spouting that theory. Maybe somebody will buy into it. I do miss the days of being an underdog.

My kid is the best thing that Bode ever did. Ask anybody that's ever met her. She is completely 100% Graziano.

Red,

You're really furthering my point the more you write.

People have accused me of being disrespectful to this sport for not really caring all that much about the titles past the amount of money that my agent can make me off of them. However, even I have standards. I won't challenge for Overlord because the title is meaningless to me and when I came back from my own retirement I took the time to get to know the baronial council before I challenged.

Clearly, you have no idea who I am so let me introduce myself.

Hello. I'm Maria. I'm the two-time TDL MVP from the Wrecking Crew. I ended with a 39-14 record over six seasons. I also just so happen to be a three-time Baron. I did a stint as Senior Baron when I held Battlefield Park a couple years back. I've won a Warlord Tournament. I've been in the Elite Eight of the DoS Madness and I'm currently in the Final Four. In short, I am the baddest bitch you will ever meet.

M.G.

Red urThorne · Post by **Red urThorne** » Sat Apr 17, 2010 5:55 pm

Maria,

Actually I already looked up who you were and your creds before I challenged. Suppose I'm just better at doing research than you.

Red

Post by **Jake** » Sat Apr 17, 2010 7:18 pm

Betting lines for this challenge have been opened at the Dueling Zone Casino courtesy of SwordPlay.

Maria Graziano · Post by **Maria Graziano** » Sat Apr 17, 2010 8:12 pm

No, sweetheart. My people looked you up. It's just that you don't have anything to your name that impresses me.

I'll see you Thursday. Maybe I'll be surprised and you'll actually have your big girl pants on.

M.G.

Red urThorne · Post by **Red urThorne** » Sun Apr 18, 2010 1:53 am

By big girl pants do you mean that I'll develop a sudden need to convince everyone around me I'm worth something by spouting everything I've done in life then calling myself bad? Or does that size come with built in insults because your mommy didn't love you and daddy was never home?

It apparently means you can't have an idea of what fun might be in a sport. Feel free to tell me you ate bricks for breakfast and built a house by night if it makes you feel better.

Cheers,
Red

Maria Graziano · Post by **Maria Graziano** » Sun Apr 18, 2010 8:06 am

More proof that you didn't bother to figure out who it was you were challenging.

Yes, I'm an arrogant diva. I own my vices as much as I own my victories. I'm pretty obnoxious too. Maybe not quite as obnoxious as Harris but I feel I can hold my own against him.

And yes, I am not a very big fan of dueling but I've got to keep a roof over my kid's head. Plus, I like nice things. This is the only thing I do well and I'm pretty damn stellar at it. I hope my kid actually does something with her life rather than following my footsteps into this useless sport.

Had you asked around people would have freely told you both of those facts. That's the problem with trying to insult me. I usually agree with any hits against my personality and there's really nothing you can insult about my record. Sucks, doesn't it?

M.G.

Red urThorne · Post by **Red urThorne** » Sun Apr 18, 2010 10:48 am

Only sucks if you assume tons of stuff about me... which is a skill I can say with certainty that you truly suck at doing.

Cheers,
Red

Devils Advocate · Post by **Devils Advocate** » Sun Apr 18, 2010 12:33 pm

Simply as a point of interest, since neither party has placed me on retainer, I thought I might flesh out some of the TDL information that seems to keep coming up.

MVP Titles:
Maria: 2
Red: 1

Career MPDPD:
Red: 3.413 (#9 All Time)
Maria: 3.406 (#10 All Time)

Career Record:
Maria: 39 - 14 (74% - #6 All Time)
Red: 15 - 8 (65% - #30 All Time)

Best Single Season MPDPD:
Red: 12 - 3, 5.767 (515)
Maria: 6 - 2, 5.063 (522)

Best Single Season Win %
Maria: 9 - 2, 82% (523)
Red: 12 -3, 80% (515)

Shutouts:
Red: 2 (1 per 12 duels)
Maria: 2 ( 1 per 27 duels)

On paper at least, this looks like a match well worth watching. Of course, that depends on how well Red has maintained her skills.

Brandon Fox, esq.
Attorney at Law
Chairman of the Board, SwordPlay Enterprises

Red urThorne · Post by **Red urThorne** » Thu Apr 22, 2010 8:22 am

Just a reminder that this shindig is happening tonight. We will be completely clothed, not rolling in jello and I plan on using men only as eye candy.

See you there!

~Red

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