A Call For Mutual Respect in Our Community

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Josette Wheeler
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A Call For Mutual Respect in Our Community

Post by Josette Wheeler »

I want to start this post off by saying that I love this community and I deeply care about its ability to thrive and continue to grow in a healthy way. It is a creative outlet for so many people, especially during difficult and challenging times.

That being said, I have been extremely disheartened by the level of toxicity in play amongst fellow writers both IC and OOC. Quite frankly, it has reached a level where I find myself reluctant to participate in these wonderful events that our fellow community members have worked so hard to create for us all to enjoy and explore.

The incident that happened recently at the Isle on Tuesday, left me deeply saddened. I find that bad behavior is too often hidden behind comments such as, “I’m just playing my character how they would be.” There are other ways to express your character’s discomfort/displeasure without running down a particular setting or special event that took a lot of care and time to create.

I understand that not all writers will be able to get along or even agree on everything and I am certainly not trying to tell anyone how they should write their own character. But there should at least be a basic level of respect and decency for fellow writers and consideration of their feelings.

I respectfully ask that if you cannot do that, then please keep your thoughts to yourself. Such actions do not contribute to the health and well being of our community.
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Re: A Call For Mutual Respect in Our Community

Post by Kalamere »

I am sorry to hear you feel that way Josette. I never like to hear anyone feeling interactions with others on our server felt toxic. If I may though, I'd like to share a different point of view. I have no expectation this will change your mind - you feel how you feel - but maybe just to highlight a different side of it.

I think that, as writers and players, we are all going to occasionally piss off someone else or step on toes. It's not a lack of mutual respect when that happens unless it is done intentionally or with callous disregard. It's simply the side product of living in shared worlds and not all of us being familiar with something that might be important or a sensitive topic to others. The show of mutual respect is what happens after one is made aware.

I personally look back on the conversation Tuesday night in the Green Room and it makes me smile. One player was displeased with how certain characters interacted with the scene and pointed it out. Conversation ensued and it read like both sides made strides to understand the other's motives and it, all in all, was a very friendly interaction that set matters straight. That, to me, was a fantastic display of mutual respect.

The counter, perhaps, to your respectful ask would be (and this is not at all aimed at you, just a general stance) for folks not to assume the worst. If someone is tweaking a sensitive spot for you, there's a good chance they aren't doing it intentionally and wouldn't being doing it all if they knew. Open a dialogue. Let them know (preferably in a nice / civil tone) that their play is bothering you. Explain it and work through a means of co-existing. Most of us are reasonable and rational adults more than happy to work things out, but none of us can read minds and some times miss cues or just fail to think fully through how a given thing might be interpreted.
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Royal
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Re: A Call For Mutual Respect in Our Community

Post by Royal »

I'm trying to figure the best way to word this...

In the past I was very vocal about the concept of "It's what my character would do" or "It's just IC, don't take it seriously ooc." — and in truth, much of it was; but by doing so I was disregarding the feelings of those who may have been negatively impacted by how I played the character. By going through with this method, and even saying such things as "If I'm doing something you dislike, please contact me! I don't know any better if you're unwilling to reach out.", I was inadvertently putting the blame off myself and instead saying it was on others to speak with me.

A good example is that my character, along with others, would say things like: Duel of Fists is the best sport. Swords and Magic suck. Etc.

While this wasn't true OOC, as I was one of the few who actively sought out DoM titles and, at that time, had held many of them, the words of my character brought up issues OOC with people who did not know me as well and resulted in me and others being branded as Duel of Fists centric and this became apparent in heated conversations on the forums. Through my negative actions IC it resulted in the idea that I must be like this OOC.

I'm not saying that this reaction was deserved, though I did not help it any by my choice of: If I'm doing something you dislike, please contact me! I don't know any better if you're unwilling to reach out.

As of now I try, the keyword is try here (because we're all not saints and mess up at times), to be more relaxed when it comes to negative commentary IC; though at times it's hard to do so when a decision or such is made about a setting/sport I've invested in or enjoyed — but at the same time I think it's important to stand back, cool off, and think over possible choices and what their outcomes could be.

I can only speak for myself and not others, but I know that negativity can create issues with others who are possibly watching a room OOC, feel the vibe of what's happening, and then want to not take part in actively playing due to not wanting to be involved in something negative.. Which is why, when usually an event is ongoing, I feel it's best for me to not do anything - or post something - that could possibly negatively impact the enjoyment of the event for others.

It would be as if I went into someone else's backyard and stomped on their flower garden. That person running the event took their time and energy to create something fun, and I wouldn't feel good if I did something to possibly upset their efforts.

This makes me recall a post that was made in the past on another forum. You, as the writer, have the power over your character -- and IC and OOC is inherently blending due to that. A writer/player makes the decision to place their character in play somewhere with the full knowledge of what will come due to it. This isn't word-for-word what the post said, but I believe it's the feeling they were trying to get across. When I had read this all those years ago I scoffed at it, but I suppose that's what time does — we, or I in this case, looked back and realized that maybe I was wrong.
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Re: A Call For Mutual Respect in Our Community

Post by Josette Wheeler »

Thank you for sharing your perspective, Kalamere. I am always open to hearing a different point of view of a situation. I was also happy to see that apologies were made for the behavior and that the resolution made you smile. We all could certainly use more reasons to smile these days!

Respectfully, (and I understand this is not just aimed at me) but I am not the type of person to assume the worst in anyone. On the contrary, I try to see the best in everyone. However, I am able to spot patterns of behavior and if this were an isolated incident, I would not have taken the time to write this post to begin with because for the most part, I do see our members treating each other with respect and kindness. There are other times over the past few months however, that I have not seen this and there were no apologies offered for the behavior.

I understand there can be misunderstandings and miscommunications along the way between players. I merely have a different point of view from what I have personally observed and felt strongly enough about it to speak up and bring awareness to it. I am merely asking that during these difficult times, we all try to show a little bit more kindness and compassion to each other.

To quote Royal’s excellent point above, “That negativity can create issues with others who are possibly watching a room OOC, feel the vibe of what's happening, and then want to not take part in actively playing due to not wanting to be involved in something negative.”

I appreciate the open dialogue and respect that you have your own perspective on what transpired. I sincerely hope in my heart of hearts that a trend of mutual respect will be given to all players in the future.
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Claire Gallows
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Re: A Call For Mutual Respect in Our Community

Post by Claire Gallows »

Prepare for a Claire-ramble.

As one of the parties to the aforementioned situation, I wanted to put in my two cents. I had multiple people reach out to me during and after behind the scenes to say that what happened wasn't cool. And I agree. Contrary to Kalamere's reread of it, I did not come away from the situation smiling. I felt that one party genuinely made strides to acknowledge it and open a proper dialogue on it, which I immensely appreciated and enjoyed talking about it with them. The rest of it? I honestly felt like my feelings were swept aside and invalidated by the excuse of "I'm just playing my character the way they are" and non-apologies which, in short, is bullshit and we all know it. I know there are rumblings going on elsewhere that are trying to justify this behavior but honestly, I second Josette's call.

I said something in the moment because it bothered me and frankly hurt me. I am no longer staff, I have minimal obligation at this point to contribute to other people's fun and I could just as easily screw off and focus only on my chars and my stories. But I have an immense love for Duel of Magic, the Isle, and the DoM community and as such, wanted to throw these events to celebrate a massive milestone for the sport. I spent my free time that I could have easily spent elsewhere, all for the sake of making sure others got an opportunity to have fun, enjoy the sport some of us love so much, and celebrate this milestone year. Between hosting, plotting, and executing these events, I've easily spent 50+ hours on this. Not for me. For the community. So when the first thing I see when popping into this event is talk about how the place is gross and makes people feel icky (paraphrasing), it was a kick in the teeth. Like thanks. I really appreciate it.

Between my events and everything that Max and Royal have done to develop the setting as more than a dueling venue and make it more welcoming and open to all characters, that was such an insult and honestly I will feel that way every time someone pulls this (because it's happened before and it'll inevitably happen again) and it seems unique to the Isle. I don't see people walking into the Perch and trashing it through word or action, or any of our other settings for that matter. And honestly, it's old. I've seen it for years, this isn't the first time that someone has done it and it isn't the first time that it's been pointed out that it isn't very cool to do. But you come to my event and pull that? I'm not going to take that lightly and yes, I'm going to say something about it. Whether it changes anything is up to others, but I'm not going to idly sit by and let behavior like that slide.

I play multiple characters that would be classified as "assholes" by most that know them or see them in passing. But I do not hide behind their temperament and allow them to run roughshod over someone else's creation or event just because they're assholes. It's pretty simple if you don't like an area, a player, an event, etc; Don't go to it. Nobody forced anyone to come to the Isle. Nobody forced the IFL match to happen there considering the IFL Garden is open every night and a duel can count for regulation in any dueling room. And if you absolutely cannot avoid an area/player/event, don't be a dick about it. From early on when RoD was first getting its legs under it and things were still pretty off the cuff, the only general concept that people seemed to agree on was the rule "Don't be a dick" and that's what happened Tuesday night. Dickishness for the sake of "This is my character". Nobody is saying don't play your (general you) character as they are, so don't twist the narrative to the contrary. It's far more complex than that and we all know it. Rather we all should look at how our choices to have our chars say or do certain things will impact others both ICly and OOCly. Because for as much as we want to say IC is IC and OOC is OOC, those actions still have the ability to make someone feel poorly about things they have genuinely put time and effort into and we as a community are better than this.

I tried really hard to be nice about things despite my initial gripe. I tried to have a dialogue about it and to talk it through and my hurt was invalidated for what? If that doesn't matter to you, then fine. What's funny is it isn't even about only me, because this has happened multiple times and it's impacted multiple people. I'm just the first person to call it out and make a stink about it publicly. We should all be working toward a community focus. Disregarding how we make others feel for the sake of 'My char's an ass, that's just how they are' is selfish and the exact opposite of community.

Josette said it so much more eloquently than I ever could and for that, I give her props. But here's Claire's brash two bits tacked on just for good measure. This type of divisive stuff should not be a trend and I have definitely recognized some of the same that she mentioned above. A little kindness goes a long way and if you can't be kind, at least don't engage.
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Re: A Call For Mutual Respect in Our Community

Post by Delahada »

Talking about “toxicity,” from my perspective this post serves no purpose other than to point fingers and publicly shame specific individuals in an effort to chase them away from the community, myself among them. This is apparent from the start given that Josette has chosen to quote me directly.

Fact: “I’m just playing my character how they would be.”

This has been true for the 16 years that I have been playing/writing Salvador. If you don’t like it, don’t read me. I make no apologies and I’m not going to start playing/writing him differently just because you choose to perceive my In Character actions as a reflection of my Out of Character, personal thoughts and feelings. This is not the first time I have been accused of such irrational and completely untrue nonsense, nor do I suspect that it will be the last, because I’m not going to be bullied into adapting my writing style just to suit a general you’s extremely sensitive personality and inability to separate fiction from reality.

To quote another from elsewhere: “It's exhausting to think about having to consider everyone's feelings [before writing anything]. That's incredibly prohibitive.”

I play and write here for my enjoyment. Not for yours or anyone else’s. I play and write with the people I enjoy writing and playing with, and who enjoy writing and playing with me. If others don’t want to write and play alongside me, I take no offense. I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, and I do not strive for the approval of the entire community. Nor should I have to.

Honestly, I thought this situation had been resolved. Instead of talking to me like an adult, here you are on a public forum spouting your holier than thou opinions without bothering first to discuss things with me or anyone else to get a read on the reality of the situation.

Let me state this publicly, then.

Claire, I apologize for upsetting you. It was never my intention. The truth of the matter is that I was offline until the very last minute. It was too late for me to ask Yuzuki and Xanth to please move the IFL match to the IFL Gardens by the time I got home. And to be honest, I forgot that there was an event happening on the Isle. In hindsight, I regret not asking them to do so in advance to avoid the possibility of inadvertently upsetting anyone. And I did not think my narrative pointing out how uncomfortable my character was would be taken so personally.

I felt uncomfortable about bringing Sal to the Isle to begin with because it has been an established part of his character since his inception, even long before I ever knew about the Isle, that magic has a unique and volatile affect on him. I don’t bring him to the Isle unless there is a very good reason. Coming out to support his team mate while she was fighting her match for IFL was a very good reason. I had him leave as soon as it was over.

How my character feels about the Isle in no way reflects how I feel about the setting, and I’m personally disappointed that you even for a moment felt that way. Not only about me, but about Skid, who makes no secret of the fact that he also plays/writes Mart, the character responsible for the creation of the special elemental Keeper dueling rings and a person who talks constantly about finding ways of making the Isle even more inclusive and welcoming and fun.

Your public chastisement has turned me off from ever wanting to participate in DoM ever again, I must confess, and I know I’m not the only one. Don’t forget that I have other characters I’ve made specifically for the purpose of participating in DoM and playing on the Isle, and I’ve had fun doing so. Now I’m just discouraged and turned off.

I was actually excited for you, and DoM in general, for celebrating 25 Years of Magic. I’m sorry that I just wasn’t as interested in helping you celebrate it by playing into the event with any of those other characters. Especially not after that public chastisement in the Green Room. But again, I’m sorry that I upset you.
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Claire Gallows
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Re: A Call For Mutual Respect in Our Community

Post by Claire Gallows »

When given an opportunity to talk about it and despite me saying that wasn't a valid reason to shit on someone else's stuff, my concerns were brushed aside and invalidated by not just you but Skid as well. So, tell me, why should I make effort beyond that to reach out. I encourage you to re-read Royal's post about putting the burden onto other people coming to talk to general-you when something you do is bothering them. I tried to talk about it. I was disregarded. I have zero motivation or obligation to continue telling you why what you were doing was hurting or upsetting me and hoping that you hear me.

Nobody is saying you have to consider everyone's feelings before writing anything but when you play an asshole character, as some of us do, I think it's our responsibility to consider how their behavior may be taken by others. That onus is on us, the players of asshole characters. Why should we be putting the emotional labor on others to excuse our characters' behavior? That isn't cool or fair.

"I play and write here for my enjoyment. Not for yours or anyone else’s." You say this, but this is a community. Where we work together to utilize this mutual setting and the cooperative stories everyone makes together. Nobody has a delusion that we'll all get along or even approve of each other, but at the end of the day, it is a community endeavor, a mutual one, you might say, and that makes it a community responsibility when it comes to making it an environment where all can play without feeling like their stuff is going to get stomped on.

I appreciate the apology, genuine as it seemed in contrast to the rest of what you've said. I wish I felt that it would mean anything here or the other night would have an impact on the state of things, but I don't think it will judging by the rest of your post. If anything, I'd like to hope that people who have some connection to the Isle would be even more cognizant of how it is damaging to pull stuff like that. Gods know I had the same revelation when Lilith would say stuff like 'Magic's for nerds' despite being Archmage. That was damaging and promoted a narrative that 'This place is different from the others and people should treat it differently' and as a member of that community specifically, was irresponsible of me. So I learned from it, changed how I approached it and while Lilith definitely still thinks magic is for nerds, she doesn't go around spouting that off. See how easy that is? Zero compromising of character, zero negative impact on others. Win-win.

If you're discouraged about participating, that wasn't my intent and your feelings are valid, but I can't help but feel like... well, now maybe you can imagine how I felt the other night when I was discouraged from doing stuff like these events for others like I have been, if it was only going to get crapped on. It was a thing specifically celebrating DoM and the Isle, so it's like I said Tuesday... can we just not? It's one night out of the month that I was asking for people to not pull that stuff. So you wanna talk disappointment? We can all be disappointed then because I'm not going to let someone sit by and do that to me, my effort, and my time, without me saying something. To try and guilt me into feeling bad for wanting to validate my feelings and disappointment by holding your participation (and others? I guess?) hostage because gods forbid I call it out when something isn't sitting right with me? That's on you, not me, and you're welcome to find your enjoyment where you find it. If that's in other settings or sports, then cool, I hope you find something that works for you. As for me, I don't think asking what I asked for was unreasonable and I don't think that people should feel they have lay down and take it when something others do is affecting their ability to enjoy their time here. Not everyone will speak up like I do. Some will just... stop coming, and I don't think that's what this community wants or needs either.
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Josette Wheeler
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Re: A Call For Mutual Respect in Our Community

Post by Josette Wheeler »

My intent in writing my post was not to publicly shame or “bully” anyone. It was a request for basic human compassion, kindness and empathy regarding the feelings of other people. If that makes me an “extremely sensitive personality,” because it bothers me when I see that other people are hurting...I’m good with that.
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Re: A Call For Mutual Respect in Our Community

Post by Bailey Raptis »

As someone who participated in the conversation about this around the time it happened (feel free to check back in the Green Room logs), and at the risk of seeming like I'm engaging in false balance/bothsidesism is discussing this...this is a very very tough situation for me to consider, and it's not as simple as saying "This person is 100% right and that person is 100% wrong." At the time, I wondered why the match wasn't fought in the IFL Garden setting, given the fact that there were multiple characters who, IC, don't like being on the Isle, but I figured it was a situation where the match (between two characters who weren't those who feel ill at ease on the Isle) was scheduled on the Isle because that's where regulation dueling was scheduled that night, and where the people were going to be. I think it's the very definition of a no-win situation -- it's easy for me to say "Just move the match to the Garden!" or "Just pretend your character isn't ill at ease on the Isle!" or "Just don't have them show up!" but there are a lot of things swirling around IC and OOC that make this hard to balance out.

I'm honestly not sure what to say here. I can say what I would have done, but I'm not any of the people were directly involved in this, so my opinion may very well not matter for it. Bottom line, I want people to duel in Magic, and I want people to be respectful of others. At the risk of saying something incredibly obvious, I don't think these are mutually exclusive things.

I'm sorry I don't have anything more insightful to add, but I wanted to say something even if I've been a little less than active lately because of RL obligations.
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Re: A Call For Mutual Respect in Our Community

Post by Kalamere »

There are a lot of levels to this and in some ways I think I stepped into a mine field saying anything at all. I do think though that there are levels to the "it's what my character would do" concept. I say this because in a lot of ways I agree with what Royal and Claire say around the topic, and what Royal said about the inherent blend of IC and OOC is something I've always believed to be true. None of that necessarily means all negative reactions fall into this bucket though.

"DoM is for nerds" is an implied insult to anyone involved in the sport or those who run it. Seeing a negative reaction from others towards this statement isn't that difficult.

"Being surrounded by magic feels gross", is speaking to a character condition. I'm not saying this can't be insulting because it obviously can, but foreseeing that is much more difficult to me.

If I take Kal into the arena and have him ride the elevator down, he's going to complain about it. He'll look suspiciously at technology he doesn't trust or understand and bemoan having gotten on the death trap construction. It's not a bit of play I would foresee as casting judgment on those who ride elevators. I would hope it doesn't insult anyone or make them second guess their presence in the arena.

Certainly that could insult someone though. Maybe there's an event, maybe the person who came up with having an elevator in the arena is there and reads more into this than I intended, maybe someone is playing an elevator repair guy and thinks I just insulted their character. Whatever. Because this isn't something I would have foreseen though, I would hope someone would contact me and mention it.

I think there's maybe more going on here than I see and for all I know discussions have been had in the past, so I'll apologize for whatever layers to all this I'm over looking. I don't see a character's personal physical reaction to being around magic really any differently to Kal's elevator issues. It doesn't read to me like some negative judgment on those characters who suffer no ill effects or even revel in it. It doesn't seem to fall easily into the "own your own jerkish behavior" category to me. It's negative yes, but not overtly insulting. But, again, I have only the logs of the night to read from and may be missing quite a bit.

In such a case though (whether an accurate description of Tuesday's events or not), speak up. If the person isn't willing to stop or at least curtail what was being seen as insulting, then there is a mutual respect issue.
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Re: A Call For Mutual Respect in Our Community

Post by Coydog »

Hi everybody! Strap in, peeps. It's gonna be a bumpy ride.

I used to play on DM and had since 2010 until I quit because even though I was never involved in the drama on there (Real Life is hard enough as is!), I saw how people were being treated and it was disheartening and disgusting, but most of that was out of character. This site and its server are so far removed from that toxicity that it makes me happy to be a part of this community.

I'm not on a whole bunch, nor do I duel (I have the attention span of a Cheez-it), but I was on the night in question and for what I did get to play it was fun! However, I did not see where the event was slammed or put down IC or OOC. It was a good event, Claire. I do not believe that anyone has said otherwise.

What I DID see were characters reacting to a setting the way that they were going to react. I play a character who is both awe-stricken and terrified of magic, which is odd considering she's married to a mage, and has vocally called it 'bippity boppity bullshit'. Do I, the player, see it that way? Heck no! Just like how I know there are characters who do not like science fiction, but I have never once assumed that the players of those characters were trying to ruin my good time.

What I DID see were players hashing things out in the Green Room in a respectful manner. I saw communication, which as others have put far more articulately than myself is needed for a community like this to flourish. Once we start trying to govern what other characters can say or feel or do because something makes us feel uncomfortable* as players then we might as well not even call it Free-Form RP anymore.

(Edited to add: so long as there is no blending or like, puppy eating or anything. I think that would be upsetting to anyone.)
Last edited by Coydog on Sat Nov 14, 2020 12:12 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Claire Gallows
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Re: A Call For Mutual Respect in Our Community

Post by Claire Gallows »

Part of the crux of the matter, Kal, is that I *did* speak up. I did speak up in the moment and my concerns were for the most part pushed aside with a reasoning of 'this is how my character is'. This is not a new discussion that is being had re; the Isle and after years of seeing it and conversations having been had behind the scenes, yeah, I'm gonna say something about it. Especially when it's during an event to celebrate the setting, the sport, etc. If someone cannot see the insult in that occurring during such an event, I don't know what to say.

Let me reiterate: This has been an issue for a long ass time. But Tuesday was my breaking point. That is why I spoke up. It was an accumulation of this happening repeatedly. But when I see it wham-bam-bam in a row from multiple parties in one go? I put out a general request that it not happen. I didn't call anyone specifically out, I just put out a terse, 'can we not'.

I had the opportunity to have a genuine and earnest conversation with one of the other players about this this evening and was able to gain additional insight into mindset, reasoning, etc and learned a lot. In turn, it seemed like they also took a different perspective from the convo too, which I appreciated. That's not to say that my mind is changed about the things I've stated before, and I stand by it when I say that we should be playing with community in mind, but that I have at least a new view on it and feel genuinely heard by them. That's enough for me.

Long of the short, to paraphrase Louis CK, when someone tells you that you hurt them, you don't get to decide you didn't. If my request for people to not crap on Twilight Isle during an event like that (or in general) is unreasonable, then say so. But I don't think it is.

I'm going to leave this thread at that because I feel like I've repeated myself ad nauseam and if it hasn't changed minds then so be it. It prompted a dialogue outside of this thread that I took to heart and felt heard by so like I said, that's enough. So I'm calling it a day on this. I think the spirit of Josette's message remains a good one to keep in mind. If you can't say anything nice, why say anything at all.
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Re: A Call For Mutual Respect in Our Community

Post by Delahada »

As I said, Claire, I thought the issue was resolved. The discussion in the Green Room seemed civil and by the time I got to it long past. I hadn’t even seen the discussion until after the fact. It’s a channel I keep regularly muted because too often conversations that are completely irrelevant to play as it is happening wind up taking it over. When the IFL match was finished that’s when I thought to check the Green Room so I could say, “Hey, good match and good win, Xanth!” Like I do. Never got the chance, though, because wow was I surprised to see something else that felt wrongfully accusatory.

The insinuation that it was deliberately done and essentially blending, stung. So yeah. I didn’t say anything more than what I did. I can only apologize, as I have. I’m sorry that you felt brushed off, too. I needed time to process the whole thing. Other people said what I was thinking, so I pointed to that. You even gave me a heart emoji, so I figured we were cool. I had absolutely no idea you were still upset about it until this post, so why should I have DM’d you?

I’ve already explained why I even bothered to have Sal show up, but now I regret doing so at all. And I don’t feel like I need to say anything more, because others have again come in and expressed thoughts I agree with since. Thank you, Kalamere and Coydog.



Josette, there’s that saying. “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” And, respectfully, the impression you are giving is a complete opposite of what you are saying. You absolutely are seeing the worst in people, given your accusations of toxicity. You absolutely are telling us how we should write by stating that there are “other ways to express your characters discomfort/displeasure.” In fact, many of the responses thusfar, with few exceptions, are likewise giving me that impression.

Just as it was not my intention to deliberately insult a setting and upset the people who genuinely enjoy it, so apparently it was not your intention to point fingers and publicly shame people. I can only take your word for it, and you take mine. Perception is a funny thing, though. And here we are.
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Re: A Call For Mutual Respect in Our Community

Post by PrlUnicorn »

I had a very long post ready to add to this thread. However, instead of wearing the Queen of Verbosity crown, I'll make this short and blunt.

I have yet to read about the specific incident and chat log that triggered this discussion. It’s my understanding that the catalyst was due to having an IFL duel on the Isle during a Magic event. I have to ask ... WHY? There’s a channel for the IFL duels. While I hadn’t expressed an opinion either way on it before, I think this incident speaks volumes. Had the IFL duel been in the Garden, this particular discussion and hurt feelings would have been avoided. We have a dedicated chat for that, how about we use it in future?

Averting a problem is better than having to clean up a mess or do damage control.

Amending this to add that g is the room code for IFL Garden. Perhaps Kal can make the adjustment to the ?fil code to direct the IFL duels there instead of the dueling venue of the night.
Last edited by PrlUnicorn on Sat Nov 14, 2020 1:00 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Royal
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Location: Twilight Isle, where she both lives and works.

Re: A Call For Mutual Respect in Our Community

Post by Royal »

The idea that the IFL duel should or should not have happened on Twilight Isle should not be the takeaway from this. The players who chose to have their IFL match on the Isle were outside of the issue that took place in the green-room and I would not wish them to believe it was because of their choice of having their match on the Isle being why this conflict started. They should not be seen at fault for their choice to want to enjoy/participating in a setting they may like simply because other characters on their team may/may not enjoy the locale. Hindsight is a fickle thing, but should I have been in that situation I would have simply DM'd my teammate, wish them well, and say I can not join them due to prior engagements: both to ensure that they aren't put into an awkward situation and to not cause one myself.

In the end it comes to choices by the parties who were part of the argument. One which both Claire spoke up about and one which Salvador and others both publicly and privately apologized for.

As for the IFL gardens usage instead of a room slotted for regulation that night: It already can and there is a code in place.

edit to add:
To use the Garden in your fights you will need to use the standard ?chal syntax with g as the venue argument. Please also remember to a 1 at the end so that the fight can go beyond 15 rounds if needed. example: ?chal g dof "Jake" 1
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