A Note to the Community

[Eden Parker]

I want to take this opportunity while we’re all cooling off to have a bit of a heart-to-heart with the community. I’d like for us to each look only at ourselves as you think about what I’m about to say and not anyone else. Let me repeat that -- I am talking to you, about you, and only you.

I want to talk about what it means to be in a community. A community is essentially a joint endeavor that brings people together. Together we all share the hobby of roleplaying and writing. Because we write collaboratively, we need other writers to help make our hobby work. We need each other.

That makes it all the more disappointing to see us devolve into a thread of aggressive, accusatory posts. This is not constructive. You know it’s not constructive.

I understand what’s happening though. I understand that you’re frustrated. I understand that you’re angry. I understand that you have a long memory of conflicts with other players and you are carrying that with you. You resent being shamed when others have done worse. You resent being accused when others have done the same. You see hypocrisy and you must call it out. You feel rejected. You feel ostracized. You feel like you have been treated badly.

I understand.

Now let it go.

I’m asking us now to let it go. We all need a reset. Let’s start by letting go of all of that frustration, resentment, and anger. Let’s start over. Let’s give people the benefit of the doubt again. Let’s not question people’s motives. Let’s not point fingers at anyone. Let’s forgive even when we don’t think others have earned it. Let’s forgive even if they haven’t asked for it. Let’s remember how to be our best selves and see the best in others.

Over the coming weeks we’re going to need to speak to each other about some difficult topics that have come up in the last few days. We’re going to need to talk about how we can have open discussions without continuing our accusatory call-out culture. We’re going to need to talk about how we can practice positive tolerance---meaning how we can respect other players even if we don’t enjoy their writing and how we can responsibly use the block system without being cruel. We’re going to have to talk about our own roles in spreading rumors about other players, our own roles in spreading negativity on private servers, our own roles in assuming the worst of others instead of the best, and how we can recommit ourselves to the ideal of inclusivity. We’re going to need to have these conversations from a place of patience, kindness, and respect. And we can’t do that the way we’ve been talking to each other these last few days. We need a radical reset.

Take some time off if you need to. Tell your friends you don’t want to talk about it. Talk to someone else for a new perspective. Play a game. Water your plants. Share pics of your cat or your dog with the lobby.

Then come back. You are wanted here. You are valued here.

You will have fun again here.