Flashes of Life

[Morgan LaLuna]

They say, when you're about to die, life flashes before your eyes. Morgan had always pictured it being... well, different.

Maybe he'd expected that shit they did in movies. Scenes of being a baby, or childhood booboos that mom kissed... All those moments he'd forgotten. Maybe he expected to see visions of all his friends happily picnicking, or something. But what he saw... Wasn't that. Flashes, here and there, none lasting for more than a brief instant, but all very much burned into his memory. Here, a goldfish, in a bowl, and there, a moment of triumph with a gameboy. A brief look into a mirror at some club, fixing smeared lipstick... Mundane and while not meaningless... Altogether so very uninspired. What a boring flashback scene it would make. Pain was white-hot. He couldn't see. He couldn't breathe. Things were moving so very quickly, and yet it seemed so slow. He heard the screech of tires. He felt the impact. It was so, so very terrible. The feeling of things crushing, crunching, breaking, shattering, tearing inside of him. But still, he watched his life.

As he hit the ground, he lamented. As he felt the burn of asphalt, and the bounce of his already battered body, he cried out. Was that it? Was that going to be the last things he saw? And he shut his eyes, squeezing tears from them. And he saw more. A smile. Dark eyes. Colorful braids. Curly dark hair. He could hear. A giggle, a soft sigh, a velvet voice that soothed, and sang. Such a beautiful song, it sang. And he could have been okay. He would have been happy to drift away to that song. Of course, memories were just as cruel as they were beautiful. Tears, and screaming, and swimming vision. Rage, and guilt, and regret. Where was the song? Why couldn't he just die listening to that song?

But then, a pair of eyes. Green, and blazing, and beautiful. The most beautiful and welcome sight he could think of. Why? He couldn't remember. One more secret. Just one more secret. What was his secret?

"I'll never feel good enough." Not for his friends, not for those who loved him. Not even for those that pretended to love him. And mostly... For himself. The pain was so much. He wanted to go to sleep... But suddenly...

He could breathe.