2019 - Interviews with the Gubernatorial Candidates

[PrlUnicorn]

The producer was trying to chat Collie up before the first interview spot got underway. "You sure you can handle this? You've been looking a little ragged for the past few weeks." He looked her over and smirked.

"Gee. Thanks." Colleen muttered as she held up a wait a minute finger as she turned to the sound engineer. "Mark, do we have universal translator online?"

The response was a silent one, an index finger tapping his temple, before he headed off to run the pre-show checks.

"Well? Can you do this or not?" The question had been delivered with one of those me, now tones that spoiled children often used.

She cleared her throat as she read over her notes. "Harry, is it?" One brow lowered as she studied the newly hired producer. "I'm here to do a job and I will get it done. Don't worry about that." There had been a hint of irritation in her voice as she reached for a cup to pour some freshly brewed coffee.

"Listen, I don't have time to deal with..." He was cut off as a member of the crew pulled him to one side. "The hell do you think you're doing?"

"I've worked with her before," said Marcy Rivers, "if she says she can do it, she can. So, do us all a favor and let her get it done. Otherwise, your worries will include contemplating why pissing off someone that was gifted with a battle trophy from a member of a Yautja tribe is a bad idea."

"A what?"

"Look it up." Marcy turned toward Colleen and called across the room. "Ready in five!"

Colleen didn't answer, she headed out to the stage to welcome the audience.

[PrlUnicorn]

"She has served as your Governor for the past year and hopes to serve the community again in this capacity. Fellow member of the Dirty Old Broad Society of Rhydin, Pharlen VonTombs." As Colleen rose to greet Pharlen, there was applause from the studio audience. She gestured to a comfortable wingback chair. "So, tell the audience and voting public something about yourself." Colleen smoothed the back of her skirt with her hand and returned to her seat.

Elegant and cool in grays and pale cream, Pharlen glided to meet Colleen, leaning to give one of her light and birdlike hugs, a few air kisses, and then she seated herself graciously. "Oh, there's so much to tell, but time does constrain us. I am a long time member of the local PTA, the educations of children to their abilities is important to me. I also support the local orphanages and shelters with food and warm winter wear. I have been a resident of RhyDin for many years, and as such, I can remember and find all of the old and forgotten donation accounts which have been gifted to the city. I am a wife and mother as well."

"Why do you want to serve another term as Governor? Do you have unfinished projects that you would like to complete?"

"I do have some ideas that weren't able to be implemented, mainly to do with the standardizing health and sanitation for the stockyards, renovations on the marketplace, and of course, the continuation of Pride Week and interductions of Summerween, possibly also Wintereenmas." she replied with a stunning smile.

"If you are reelected, what can the citizens look forward to in the coming year?"

"Most definitely the availability of funds for any projects proposed and begun for the betterment of the city, such as the new school in the Kabuki district."

"That I know of, you're the only parent running for election this year. How did you balance the needs of your family, with being an elected official?"

"My husband is capable of holding down the fort, the children are old enough to look after themselves, more or less, with the exception of Alice, but she is either with her Dad, Me, or her siblings or Aunt as needed. Parenting is just another part of my day, and the family works and plays together."


"It's my understanding that there is to be a revival of the Gubernatorial Cage Match this year. Are you looking forward to participating in that event?"

"Actually, no, I'm told it's a fist fight? I'm not good in a fight without something of decent ballistic size, to be honest. I was considering wearing a bikini and simply allowing momentum to do the work for me." Pharlen replied with a beaming smile.

Despite wanting to maintain a professional demeanour in her role as hostess, Colleen couldn't help it, she broke up laughing at Pharl's response. "Well, distracting the other participants could help you win that match!" Howling and applause filled the place. "Pharlen VomTombs." More applause rang out.

There was time for a scone and cup of coffee before the next interview began.

[PrlUnicorn]

"From what I have been told, this candidate was shanghaied into taking part in this election. Be that as it may, Bailey has decided to stick it out and run. Please welcome the current Archmage and Keeper of Twilight Isle's Celestial Tower, Bailey Raptis." The hostess got to her feet to welcome Bailey and gestured to the wingback chair across from her own. "Bailey, would please share the story of how you were tossed into this election? And why you decided not to withdraw."

Bailey stepped out into the TV studio and waved to the audience with the practiced charm and grace of a runway model. Tonight, he leaned more on the masculine side of things with his attire, with a navy blue suit, red paisley tie, white dress shirt, and shiny black shoes. He did allow a touch of the feminine into his appearance with some cat's eye eyeliner and dark purple eye shadow though. After shaking the hostess' hand, Bailey took a seat.

"Thank you, thank you. Well, the reason I have not dropped out of the race is because I have been told that it would be cost prohibitive to reprint the ballots without my name on them." Bailey, and some in the audience, laughed at that, before he continued. "I have had some time to reflect on this, once the initial shock of discovering that some of the goblins on Twilight Isle came together to petition for my name on the ballot, and I have decided that there was a reason they nominated me, and that was not so I could run away from it. If somebody, or several somebodies, feel that I am a good choice to be governor, than I owe it to them to advocate for the things they care for, and the things that I think are important to them, as best I can, even if I do not win the position."


"Would you like to tell our viewers a bit about yourself?"

"I am a native RhyDinian, born over in Dockside, but my parents passed away when I was very young. I was fortunate enough to be adopted by a man named Fletcher Raptis, who raised me like his son. About eleven years ago or so, I was headhunted by a modeling company here in the city, and I modeled for a couple of years, men's and women's clothing, and also interned for The Remmington Collection on Benson Boulevard. I eventually left the city to start my own boutique in a city well south of here, São Amador, did that for about three years, until I came back to work for...a company here. Things did not quite pan out there, but I have very slowly worked my way back into the fashion and modeling business while also working odd restaurant jobs here and there and, well, I suppose the dueling speaks for itself?"


"Despite the often voiced opinion that Governor of Rhydin is a figurehead position, past Governors have spearheaded several projects to benefit citizens and contribute to the city. If you are elected, is there anything you plan to work on or might like to see improved?"

"Given the goblins' initial support for my candidacy, I would be remiss if I did not mention that helping them rebuild and prepare their homes, businesses, and other Twilight Isle infrastructure for future natural (and unnatural) disasters is a top priority of mine. I also support the Kids of Summer and Kabuki Street Community School projects, and more generally anything that will help orphaned children and underprivileged children. Whether I have the power to do anything remains to be seen, but I can at the very least call attention to these issues to those who can do something."


She glanced down at the paper in her hand, a question from someone in the audience. She allowed Bailey to read the question to give him a moment to prepare. Colleen read the question aloud. "I'm one among the younger people in Rhydin that that are having difficulties figuring out where I belong. Some of us look to you as a role model for embracing the person you are, part of that is by not choosing between what's traditionally masculine or feminine clothing. Do you have any advice for us?"

"That is a good question." Bailey took a moment to pause and think about it, fingers resting on his chin. "I think we would do well to remember that our society here is not a monolith. Yes, there are a lot of people here who feel that dresses and skirts are articles of clothing that only women should wear, and some that feel jeans are for men only. But I have a good friend who comes from a place where biological sex and gender are separated -- there are no male/female pronouns in their language. I had a nonbinary gendered roommate. The point I am trying to make is, if there is one place in the multiverse where you can find people to empathize and support you, it is here. It is just a matter of finding your motley. I was incredibly fortunate to have supportive friends and family growing up, and I know not everyone has been so lucky. But if I can bring attention to groups that do this sort of work -- if I can be an example or a role model to show that, yes, it does get better -- that will be as good as winning the race for me."



"It's my understanding that there is to be a revival of the Gubernatorial Cage Match this year. While Fists isn't your specialty in dueling, are you up for participating in that event?"

"Unfortunately, I will be working on the day of the Cage Match, helping a good friend with her wedding dress and troubleshooting any wardrobe mishaps that might occur the day of the nuptials. But I will be looking into sending a proxy in my stead -- not the usual statue ones, sadly."


"Do you have any words of wisdom that you'd like to share with our viewers?"

"I would ask that regardless of who you vote for, that you think of the goblins, think of the orphans, think of the impoverished children, think of those who have been shunned and outcast for things that they cannot control, and lend whatever time or money you can spare to ease their burdens. If you do that, I will consider this worth the hassle I have been subjected to." Bailey finished with a wry smile.

The audience, including a mob of goblins that had come out in support of Bailey, were applauding. Foot stomping and cheers from the sports fans lingered as the pair left the stage.

[PrlUnicorn]

"Our next candidate has been spreading good cheer and music around the city. Please join me in welcoming, Tippletoe Timbers." Collie stood and gestured for the gnomish bard to join her in the wingback chairs. Suddenly, there was a poof of purple and orange smoke at the back of the audience. Everyone stood, applauding the bard. Tippletoe descended down the centre aisle, shaking hands with everyone in a side seat. Then she walked up the stage stairs and made for the guest chair. Collie allowed Tippletoe some time to settle in before continuing, "Could you please tell our audience a bit about yourself?"

"Yes! Certainly! I would love to! Two generations ago a group of gnomes settled in a small town called Chembala. They were treasure hunters you see, and they were looking for treasure in this vast jungle. They faced all sorts of difficulties like black dragons, cults of lizardfolk, crazy wizards, monsters from the sky, mind flayers corrupting the minds of the villagers, and vicious elven clans that lived underground. My great-great-gran-pappy Rumble Timbertree was one of the first gnomes there and he was a tinkerer. Do you know what a tinkerer is? Well, a tinkerer is someone who builds all sort of gadgets and inventions and gnome tinkerers often do it with clockwork. I'm not a clockwork tinkerer but great-great-gran-pappy Rumble Timbertree was. Anyway, oh - wait whats that?"

Collie looked amused as she repeated herself. "Much as I'm enjoying hearing about your family, could we hear more about you, now?"

"OH! You mean you want the shorter bit, just about me? Right! Right. Of course. I knew that. Okay, so my name is Tippletoe Timbers - Tip Top Governor from Tip to Toe Vote Tippletoe for Governor Today - and I love music! I like all kinds of music, and I like poetry, and I'm part of the Shanachie Theatre - they are fantastic, you should all come to the performances - and I've learned that there are bubbly drinks that I really, really like. Oh, and I have all kinds of fun ideas for what to do as Governor. And I will most definitely look the best in fancy pants - or a fancy dress - and with a feather in a hat.

I have thirty pet rats and I used to be part of the City Guard in my town of Sulibala. Somehow I wandered through a portal and it took me somewhere else. There were lots of people fighting a war in that place, I played music to keep them happy. I also got lost around there and wandered through another portal and ended up in a different jungle where I ended up leading a tribe of goblins for about two months before I ended up on a boat. But the boat sank and I almost drowned. Someone rescued me and dropped me off here!"

"Music has been called a universal language. Is that part of the reason you prefer singing to speaking?"

"I like singing and speaking. Cap'n always said I talked too much and he preferred that I sing if I was going to have noises come out of my mouth so I always found that people liked listening to me the more I sang. In fact, that's how I ended up leading the goblin tribe. They were stacked on one another like a big tower and pointing their sticks at me. I started singing the only goblin song I knew and put on a bit of a show with my magic. They liked it so much they call me the "OL-GA-LA", which I think means chief. But I also think that music connects people together. Everything has a music inside of it, you know? The plants, the ground, the animals, the sky, the sun, the clouds, and every blade of grass. If you know somethings true name and weave it into a song you can connect with it, become one with it, and be in harmony with it. I think if we could all just hear each other's songs a bit better then we'd be better at harmonizing with each other and the world would be a better place."

If you are elected Governor, what do you hope to accomplish?

"Lots of things! First, we will make sure no one goes hungry and everyone will have very tasty food. I'm going to do that by making sure we have not just Soup kitchens but Soup and Sandwich Kitchens! More than soup!" She gestured her hand across the sky as she said it. "We would have the top experts in food distribution come up with an excellent, flawless system! Smaller portions are the key to solve gluttony and food inequality."

She grinned, and before Collie could comment launched into the next bit.

"Second, transportation! Have you considered how long it takes to walk everywhere? Especially when there are hills? And I don't want to support a car-dependent society when we have so many people who come from places who don't know how to drive or what a car is. We shall institute a tertiary form of public transportation. Fun and Engaging! That way, people will opt out of cars and we will have more pedestrian room." She paused for dramatic effect. "ZIPPO! The Zip-line Transportation to Meet All your Travelling Needs! ZIPPO will have all the latest and greatest in safety, all-ages support, as the hills are not so tall to make it dangerous but it will be easy enough to make it fun!"

"Third, teleportation spells! We will formalize teleportation spells and create teleportation spell hubs where we will put in safety measures to prevent temporal rips, dislocations, and dimensional tears. That way if you want to use a teleportation spell that makes you go more than thirty or forty feet you have to use one of our teleportation hubs to cast your planar travel or teleportation spells. We may allow special permits for dimensional windows or doors."

"Last, but certainly not least, there will be a dress code for all public servants including specially designed fancy pants and/or dresses and there will be no boring speeches but rather fanciful soliloquies and hearty monologues."

"It's my understanding that there is to be a revival of the Gubernatorial Cage Match this year. Are you up for participating in that event?"

"I am strictly opposed to cages, animals have rights too! For example, did you know that we have a rat poison epidemic in this city? I've lost six rats already just this week. And that's not even commenting on the cat-bird-relations problem we have going on. I've had to settle four domestic disputes about nesting rights and tree climbing exercises in the past three days!"

"Do you have any words of wisdom to share with our viewers?"

"Yes! I have two things to say. First, don't stick your fork in a toaster. Trust me. Second, if you want a Tip Top Governor from Tip to Toe Vote Tippletoe for Governor Today!"