Stories from RhyDin & The Rings

I almost hate to post this here, as I hate to make posts like this. Especially on this particular website, but I kind of feel it can't hurt, given the behavior some people choose to engage in.

A fact of life is the fact that some people simply don't get along. On this site, that's no exception. I hear about X not liking Y, and Q not liking T. Some of the grudges people carry run pretty deep too, having lasted for years and years... Now, I understand the fact that not everyone is going to get along, nor would I expect them to. It's just not going to happen. We're not all going to take hands and sing around a campfire. There are some I know I don't get along with.

Player disputes aren't really the problem though. Player A and Player B have every right not to like each other. The problem, which I find to be alarming, is when Players C, D, and E start charging in, taking sides, and picking fights over Player A and Player B's dispute. They start wondering 'Who's at fault!?'. They start wondering 'How can we make them pay?!'. And the sad truth is that maybe no one is at fault. Maybe both are at fault. Or maybe it's just conflicting personalities. That happens a lot in the real world, who is to say it can't happen here? Here, in real life, I've been friends with people that don't like each other, and that's okay. I don't feel a need to take sides or attack one over the other.

The fact it happens here is really bothersome. It shouldn't be happening. At all.

When a player dispute happens between two players, it ought to remain between those two players. Others shouldn't jump in, from either side, to try and attack the other. They shouldn't blend in play or thought snipe to make someone feel uncomfortable. They shouldn't work hard to try to make someone feel like they have to leave the room, or like they can't enter that room ever again. And when it comes to the sport itself, officials shouldn't change rules or bend them for some, or allow others to break them while imposing them, or just out and out cheat on one's behalf to 'get back' at someone. That last one is my snapping point, right there, because it shouldn't be happening no matter what.

I am beyond disappointed.

You're preaching to the choir.

The scenario Lydia brought up happens again, and again, and again, on many forums and even in real life. Sure it's unfortunate when such happens, but there is normally little you (generic) can do about it. Asking others to stay out of your fight, no matter how politely put, usually comes off as aggressive to the outside party.

Keep your OOC issues to yourself and don't complain to a group of friends about it if you want them to stay uninvolved. Negativity is cancerous. Avoid if it you want to avoid these issues. It is awesome to have a person to vent to that you can trust. Don't vent to the gossip queen/king of the community. Remember this is an online gaming community. Yeah, the word gaming is in there. What is a game? A thing to do for relaxation, and fun.

There shouldn't really be much more objective to coming to Rhydin short of coming for relaxation and fun (yes, even the callers/administration who run it and have some work to put in. If it isn't fun and relaxing then it isn't healthy to be part of it.)

If you don't want negativity in the environment here then do your part and try to avoid spreading negativity around to everyone. We are ALL very guilty of doing it ourselves and we all need to be mindful of how we respond to things as in any social situation. Negative comments spread much quicker than a "Hey, great job running the Isle tonight!" or "That was really fun role playing with you tonight! Hope to catch you on another time to do it again!"

Keep your OOC issues to yourself and don't complain to a group of friends about it if you want them to stay uninvolved.

Best advice I've seen thus far.

Unfortunately, that's a two-way street. As an example, Player A and B have a problem. Player A keeps it to themselves. Player B does not. Is it Player A's fault the issue becomes known and people jump in? Of course not.

So, in addition to what Face's player said up there in the quote, I'd have to say this. If someone you're friends with gets in an OOC disupte, don't get involved. There's a difference between being a friend and amplifying the problem with unnecessary behavior.

And let it end as well immediately. No reason to continue a thread like this to begin with as it continues to work with negativity over positive responses. It will only cause more upset players here and cause more of the clique like behaviors as players lose trust with others.

I have a good idea what this is all about and it has been HORRIBLY dealt with by many people. Why this is being brought up on the public forums now is pretty ridiculous. Everyone needs to stop attacking and feeling like they are being attacked by somebody and go back to the last time they felt like they were really enjoying the game. What were you doing differently? Go back to doing that.

Harder than it sounds? Yes.

Impossible? Not even close.

Let me be frank. I've been trying for a year to go back to having fun, as you suggested. I can't speak for Lydia's player and won't. I don't know what prompted the posting, aside perhaps frustration.

I will say this, though. Whatever information you think you're privy to is one-sided. We can go on and on and argue about that as much as you like, but that won't accomplish anything. The dispute going on between another player and myself has being occurring for about a year now. Other players were dragged into the mess. Not by my hands, either.

I'll tell you what I think the topic is about, now that I've mulled it over a bit. It's about expecting fairness. Considering the issue you are involved in currently, I don't think that would be hard for you to see.

Again, I can't speak for Lydia's player, but in regards to my last two posts being public: I'm sick of the whole ordeal. Private talks haven't helped, talks with mediators haven't helped. I've never spoken on the matter unless I was directly asked about it. I remained neutral when I answered. I know that's not the case with the other player. I'm not going to go into specifics. I'm not trying to slander the other player. I'm just very sick of people accepting half-truths and laying the blame where they see fit.

You want to know what's really ridiculous? Harboring resentment over something a CHARACTER did over a YEAR ago. Crying about it to other people so they'll take sides and decide a player they've never even spoken to is a bad guy. That, my friend, is what's ridiculous.

Soerl Lute wrote: That, my friend, .

Please please please... I have heard too much of that my friend stuff in the current presidential situation!

Moving on. Life sucks then you die. Everyone, and I mean everyone, has made more than enough mistakes to post blame on in the said situation. And NOBODY can claim they have done everything perfect. As far as having one sided view on things, I can't agree as I do have a couple sided view, although I do not have your view.

Although this won't surprise anyone. I don't really care to have it. Nor does anybody else. I have offered to allowed a player to vent to me when needed and it ends there on my end. There is NO place for this to be on the public boards and it should be removed ASAP in my opinion. I do not think you are trying to slander anyone Soerl. I think this is a big situation that needs to end now. There is no reason for there to have ever been things addressed even to the administration to begin with, nevermind this... (yes you know what I mean.) Things were discussed privately, if you can't come to agreed upon terms, end it.

I teach ages K-12 right now. Honestly, sometimes what I see in this situation is 7th-9th grade behavior. Some of the recent reactions to things are understandable and make sense. Everyone though needs to look back at what caused everything, take their point of fault (Yeah, nobody is likely immune to fault on this situation... Sorry), and grow and develop. I hope the old friendships can one day be at least brought to a point of "Hey, I hope things are well" and if not, then thats how it is meant to be. No more reasons for these childish rants on public boards (Yes, that is how I view this public ranting. There are not enough people in this game anymore for less than 80% of people to know what you are talking about. End it and enjoy the game you are playing).

As for fairness, there is no such thing. If you think there is such a thing as fairness you are very naive. Fairness is all in the eye of the beholder. You can never please everyone. With my current situation, if the population as a whole believes the rules in place are correct, then void everything and deal with less action. It is a game. You move on and deal with it. When it comes to this fairness you ask for, think about it from all angles. I have seen accusations that I know are unfounded and definitely untrue from my position when I first came back unknowing of much information.

Anyway, with all this said I am done with this posting. Any continuation should be done through PM's to the required individuals and learn to deal. If you don't want to, then pick your battles and ignore it. If you feel you need to communicate with me or attack anything I have said you can vent to me on my AIM at BRWrestler112.

End this all. Now.

Thank you.

((Edited after proofreading quickly in order to make an easier read.))

*Edited to note I chuckled at the presidential line at the beginning of Face's post. Also because I realized and agree with Face that this discussion is going nowhere. I'll leave it at that.

I feel as though your posts and unfounded passive aggressive accusations against me, Face, only serve to prove my point. (I know you said you were bowing out of the thread, which is fine, but since you brought up some things publicly instead of taking them to PMs, I will address them in the same public manner)

This thread isn't about Player A and Player B's dispute. So I don't understand why you've tried to make it about that. I'm expressing my disappointment in the behavior of people who make Player A and B's dispute into their *own* dispute. I don't really know a large portion of the player base here, and I don't presume to know them. I sure hear a lot though... I hear about all sorts of things, about how certain players are horrible and awful and nasty and crazy and deranged. It's really impressive the things people say about people they don't know... I try to keep an open mind about people though, and go on how they treat me, and how I see for myself with my own eyes (not what I hear). In fact, some people I've heard the nastiest things about? Have turned out to be the best people I've ever known. Not just on this site, or in role playing, but just in general - and they've ended up being very important to me, and I'm happy to consider them friends.

Now. Do I go on a crusade to make everyone like and love them? No. It's not going to happen. Do I go on a crusade to make everyone who doesn't like and love them miserable? Uh. No. That's really, really worrisome behavior, right there. And they play with people I don't care for, but I don't totally flip my lid about it. I just go do my own thing while they do their own. You know. Like sensible people would in real life.

I have a good idea what this is all about and it has been HORRIBLY dealt with by many people.

I have a good idea you don't know as much as you profess to know. (Especially since this thread isn't about the dispute itself, since the dispute itself is done, though I find it curious you zoned in on it.)

Why this is being brought up on the public forums now is pretty ridiculous.

I don't think it's ridiculous to say "Hey, we should not attack people on the behalf of friends here." I don't think it's ridiculous to say "Hey, we should treat people fairly, especially when it comes to the sport."

I think this is a big situation that needs to end now.

Again, you're focusing on the dispute between Player A and Player B. That 'big situation' is done. Over. On most parts at least. It's Players C, D, E, etc. (You know who you are) that I'm tiring of. I want to go in the chat and have fun, and duel, and RP. My real life? My life outside of RP? It's pretty freaking miserable at times. I think that can be said for a lot of people, actually. As you brought up earlier, this is a game. As I often say, this isn't the place to relive high school. So maybe I should just 'shut up and put up', right? I've done that pretty much my whooooole life. But sometimes, when you poke the hornet's nest too much, the hornet's aren't going to sit around idly letting you poke and prod them.

Believe me. I want all of this to be over with. I want it to end. But until players not even involved just let it be, and stop attacking people for stuff they know nothing about and have absolutely nothing to do with, it's not going to end. It's disheartening when people I never played with or talked to start attacking me. It's disheartening when people I play with get attacked by those same people. It's a nasty, vicious cycle. A made B mad so C, D, and E should gang up on A, but oh! F, G, H, and I also play with A, so C, D, and E should go after them too!

Do you really think that's how things ought to be done? (That's a more general you and rhetorical remark than anything, right there)

There is no reason for there to have ever been things addressed even to the administration to begin with

When a player harasses and stalks another player? Ah. Yeah, I think it doesn't hurt to try to let administration know what's going on. Even if it's just to inform them "Yeah, I told so and so not to contact me anymore, so if they keep it up and start circumventing my ignores again, can you do something about that? Thanks." But I mean, I'm sure you knew about that already, and eeeeeeverything surrounding it, being really privy to "The Situation" that you brought up.

So yeah. This does need to stop. And players D and E need to stop too. No one needs to worry about anymore responses from me in this thread, however, since I'm not posting in it anymore. I'll be taking a break from this site for a wee bit, and to those of you who did make me feel welcome? And those that didn't play the game of choosing sides and just played? Thank you. To those who made it their life's work to treat me and those I played with like garbage? Or the people I'd try to bring over to this site who had no idea wtf was going on or why they were being treated like garbage? *golf clap* Hope you're real proud of that.

What is a game? A thing to do for relaxation, and fun.

Only for those without fierce competitive streaks.