Video message from Tara

Tales from a goblin-infested brewery (home of Jake Thrash and Badsider Brew), and a lawyer-infested sports bar (home of Kalamere Ar'Din and The Line).

Moderators: Jake, Kalamere

Post Reply
User avatar
Top Thug
Top Thug
Posts: 2072
Joined: Wed Feb 11, 2004 2:25 am
Location: Red Orc Brewery, a dueling venue, or the taverns of Badside

Video message from Tara

Post by Jake » Mon Sep 06, 2010 3:13 am

Jake fumed a bit as he wrote out a list of the hops and grains for the latest experimental brew. Chili as an ingredient. Who would have ever considered such a thing for an ale recipe?

The half-orc wiped sweat from his brow with the back of a forearm and eyed the barrel of ale in the making. The brewer's yeast was the last ingredient before setting the barrel aside for fermenting. A dozen different previous recipes were all in various stages of fermenting. The oldest now at three weeks, and still a couple of weeks away from tasting by the orc's best judgment.

Coming up with a workable recipe was only part of the process. He still needed to come up with a decent name for the brew. "Minx Brew" didn't quite have the ring he was looking for. Somehow it didn't seem adequate to describe an ale brewed for a mischievous set of a elves. "Mischief..." he mused to himself as he stepped forward to grab the barrel. With a grunt, the barrel was lifted up and settled into place on a low shelf with the other brews. The orc grabbed a crayon and scrawled on the top of the barrel, "batch 13".

With a tired sigh, Jake brushed the dust off his hands and ambled back towards the front of the brewery and his office and living quarters. Along with the Minxish brews he was dabbling with, and the new Badsider Black, he still had his Orktoberfest ales taking up his time. Maybe he should hire more help for the brewing. It wasn't leaving him much time to wander by the rings and get in any exercise.

As he exited the brewery main and stepped into the hallway leading to his quarters, Jake could hear chittering laughter. The orc groaned as he realized that Mojo must be up to something. Of course, the goblin was *always* up to something.

"Heeheeheehahaheehee," a sound like nails on a chalkboard to Jake's ears.

The orc stepped through the door to find Mojo entangled in a mass of black, glossy tape. The tape was connected to a small black case about the size of a book. Goblin and tape were spilled all over the top of his desk.

"Hiya, Jake!" the goblin waved good-naturedly, sending a cascade of tape to the floor.

With a groan, the half-orc strode to the desk, half-afraid to ask what it was the goblin had gotten into. He eyed the glossy tape, puzzled as to its purpose. "Just what you are you doing?"

"Heeheehee, you've got a GIRLFRIEND!" the goblin giggled madly.

The orc made a face. "I know lots of girls."

This just threw the goblin into another fit of giggling.

"WHAT?!? What's so funny?"

Mojo bounced up, causing more tape to spill from desk to floor. "You haven't looked at it?"

"Looked at what?"

This made the goblin fall over, laughing hysterically.

Jake growled as impatience started to get the better of him. "What?" Seeing only a goblin and a mess spilled all over his desk.

Mojo pushed a section of the tape at Jake. "See? It's called a video tape! Humans use these to tell stories and send messages!"

The orc grabbed a handful of the tape and peered at it. His face scrunched up as he eyed it. There was no writing visible on it. It had a slick texture that the orc figured would be difficult to write on anyway.

The goblin laughed hysterically again, nearly falling off of the desk.

Jake shoved the tape at the goblin, the portion of it he held crushed into his fist. "There's no writing on it!"

"Of course not, Jake! It's a VIDEO message!"

No clue of comprehension passed over the orc's features. "Explain or die, goblin!"

It was an idle threat of course. Despite numerous attempts over the years, the goblin remained maddeningly unkillable.

Mojo popped back to his feet. "You know what pictures are, right Jake? A video is just a bunch of pictures all put together. And with sound!"

Jake eyed the tape doubtfully. "I don't see any pictures."

"That's because you need a projector, Jake! Something that makes light and shows the picture against a screen." The goblin giggled.

"Sounds like magic." The orc glared at the tape.

"Heehee, no, not magic, Jake!"

Jake glowered. "I don't have a pro-jec-tor," sounding out the unfamiliar word.

The goblin's eyes lit up like sparklers. "Ooooo! I know Jake! I'll recite the message to you! Heehee!"

Before the orc could refuse, the goblin dashed off the desk and out of the room. Jake was unsure what to do. He sighed at the mess of glossy tape and looked at the black case. He noticed two wheels and discovered that if he turned them the tape wound up back into the case. The orc began the tedious process of winding the tape back into the case, and was several minutes into this when the goblin appeared beside him again.

"What'cha doing, Jake?"

The orc started, and reflexively dropped the tape case as he went for a knife. "Stop doing that!"

The goblin giggled and snapped his fingers. A series of colorful sparks leaped from Mojo's fingers and the tape disappeared back into the case in a chaotic whirlwind of motion. The orc leapt back in surprise.

"Ok!" With a mighty leap, the goblin bounded back up onto the desk. The tape cassette was sitting quietly to one side, the tape neatly restored to its proper location. "Are you ready?"

For the first time the orc realized Mojo was wearing make-up and had on a dress.

Mojo coughed a quick "ahem" readying for his performance, and then his demeanor changed. The color of his eyes shifted, and his posture changed, mimicking the appearance of the girl on the tape Jake had yet to see. "Good evening, Jake. It is I, Tara!" the goblin presented himself, and the orc got a queer sense of familiarity that sent a shiver down his spine. "The girl you give brewery tours to sometimes." The goblin fell out of character for a moment with a snickering chitter.

Back into character, the goblin pointed suddenly at Jake, and then looked away as if to another person. "Jake is my almost boyfriend. He is the one that is hearing this message. Say hello to him an' tell him who you are. But briefly. Dun go off on any tangents!" The voice was eerie in its resemblance, albeit with a goblin pitch, to that of Tara.

The goblin dashed over to the side of the desk, his posture, attitude, and even attire suddenly different. "Gem. Nobody special." With a self-conscious wave and smile.

Back to the center of the desk, the bold demeanor of Tara again present. A grin and a wave, "Greetings 'gain Jake. As you can see, you jus' met my old friend Gem. An' to the right of me is my cousin, Aja. Say hi, Aja!"

A bounce to the opposite side of the desk, and another change in costume. "Hello, Jake!" and a wave.

In a blink, Mojo was back to the center of the desk. The goblin mimicked putting arms around two invisible companions. "They are very excited to be part of this message, Jake, as I am to give it." Mojo paused dramatically. "I'll be brutally honest here. You are fantastic in bed." A break in character as the goblin snickered uncontrollably. "I can maybe name like forty two other guys..." the goblin-Tara paused, finger to lips, looking upward and then back to Jake. "No, definitely like fifty, who aren't half as good as you are."

A jump to the left, as the goblin-Gem did a jaw-drop and face-palm.

Back to the center, goblin-Tara continued, "Except I dun wanna spend, um..." a glance to goblin-Gem, "hold on a sec, Jake, I think Gem's having a crisis. Gem? Was there something you wanted to say to Jake too?"

A strangled noise from goblin-Gem, and furious hand-fluttering.

Jake was getting dizzy from the goblin's rapid changes back and forth, but a recent interaction in the rings made more sense to the orc now. " that's why she reacted that way..."

"Gem's a little shy, don't fault her. She wears chastity belts which as you know, I dun!" Followed by a maniacal cackle that the orc wasn't sure was Tara, the goblin, or both. Instantly serious again, the goblin-Tara eyed Jake, "here's the thing, Jake. I would like to see more of you. Like every single day. But that's not always possible because yer not here now an' I am an' I am missing you."

A thumb jerked to the right. "My cousin here is even broken up about this."

There was a coughing noise to the left, as if from goblin-Gem, then goblin-Aja nodded sagely.

"I shouldn't speak for her, though. Aja? Tell Jake how sad you are that him an' I are apart."

Goblin-Aja turned to goblin-Tara and smiled. "Ok, uh..." and a look towards Jake, "Jake. I have to say, I haven't seen Tara quite this happy about a guy in a while. It's really good to see. her flowers."

"Lilies are my favorite!" Goblin-Tara was back and looked to the right, "Thank you, cousin mine."

"Now I realize that with any relationship, taking it too fast is never advisable so what I propose you an' I should do, Jake, is live together 'fore we get married."

The orc did a double-take. Married?

The goblin continued in various voices, but for a moment the orc wasn't hearing them. Married?!?

"Hold a moment, Jake. There is the distinct smell of something burning here." Mojo replicated the smell, and for a moment Jake searched around in panic to make sure the brewery wasn't on fire. But it was just the smell of burning. Fortunately the message hadn't said "on fire" as the orc was sure Mojo would have set something ablaze to properly reflect the message. "We are probably all going to die here in a moment."

The goblin jumped around, and appeared behind Jake. "Mm? Oh, you were mentioning living with Jake first."

Before the orc could turn to the goblin, he was gone again. Back to the desk. "Tara is the best. Don't forget!" exclaimed goblin-Gem.

"Living with Jake is a good idea!" came from goblin-Aja someplace across the room.

"Right! Living together! Which is why I am inviting you to live with me as early as tomorrow, Jake! Sooner...the better." And then to goblin-Gem, "Thank you, Gem. That was very kind." A look around the office, which caused the orc to look around as well. "Would anyone else like to tell Jake what kind of person I am before we close out this important message?"

"Vex? Would you like to add something? You are more than welcome." The goblin bounced around the office, muttering in various voices.

The orc was getting dizzy.

"I think, Jake, that those I know are a little hesitant to say how they feel because they want you to come to your own conclusions about me. So, in closing, I jus' want to say that I hope this message finds you in good health when it reaches you an' that you an' I will soon be reunited." The goblin-Tara blew a kiss. Jake flinched when the sensation of a kiss reached him. Damn goblin and his special effects. "I think that is good, Doc, yes?"

And then it was Mojo again. In his normal red cap and goblin attire. A wide predatory grin played on the goblin's features as he displayed a row of sharp pointy goblin teeth. His beady eyes gleamed.

Jake couldn't decide if he was more freaked out by the message, or by the goblin's performance of it.

He decided he needed ale. And LOTS of it.

(()) Author's note: with apologies to Tara, Gem, and Aja for so abusing the log of their chat :D
Post Reply

Return to “Red Orc Brewery & The Line”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests