A Few Little Things. NJ #21 (05/27/06)

[Tera Destre]

I’m getting pretty tired of not having the proper time to cuss you!! It just don’t seem fair that you get to sit on this here desk looking all holier than thou while I got so much going on that I barely got time to look in the mirror in the morning to make sure my hair is brushed!!

I think I finally got all the wedding invitations sent out. At least I hope I did. We may still end up in a war before this here is over but I am doing my best. Miss Partinger still has her guts so far and has only broken one dainty tea cup and saucer and that was on the first day I cleaned my nails with my dagger.

Since then I have not been able to shock her doing that so I am thinking of trying a little target practice with them this coming week while she is giving me my lesson. That or maybe I will just casually take off my belt and push the release to let the blade escape that is hidden inside the buckle. Perhaps that will cause her to break another dainty tea cup and saucer set. I’m gonna have to think about this and decide later. So many hidden weapons to chose from and so little time I’m telling ya!

My Elven lessons are coming along well. I actually enjoy them if I had to tell the truth. My tutor is a very nice person and has the patience of a saint although they say I am a quick study I reckon that comes from having heard so many different languages spoken for so many years in the Inn.

My only problem with these here lessons is they are adamantly refusing to teach me to cuss. I have tried and tried to explain to them that although I will be royalty even royalty at times needs to be able to give someone a good cussing out. They maintain that “Her Majesty” would not use vulgar language under any circumstances whatsoever.

I have argued and cussed them in common until I have been blue in the face and still they are refusing to give in on this issue so I am taking matters into my own hands and am gonna find me someone that speaks Elvish that will teach me the proper cuss words that I might wanna use.

This “Her Majesty” will indeed cuss if she so desires to when she desires to. Miss Partinger be damned!! I have no doubt her dainty little lily white hand is in this somewhere.

For that matter I just bet that some of them there words I heard my tutor mumbling beneath his breath while I was cussing him are the very words that I was wanting him to be teaching me and I have remembered them and am gonna be asking Gav what they mean when I see him tonight.

Grrrr there is someone knocking at the door AGAIN!!! Probably that no count dressmaker that gave me them samples and told me I could pick any of them that I liked for my dress then informed me that she was very sorry but she didn’t stock that material that I wanted anymore.

I think that just maybe the first words out of my mouth once I am a Queen are gonna be “Off with her head!” and they are gonna be directed at HER!!!!