January 2010

[Marc Franco]

Off With The Hair Thursday!

A busy Thursday night around town, particularly in the Red Dragon Inn, made up for a slow week of gossip! The night started off on an odd note as Lang seemed to have somehow trapped Den Mama Icer in a playpen with one of her hatchlings. Honestly, we have no idea which one. Her entire brood is just one giant blur to us. Anyway, D.M. Icer was NOT pleased but, as usual, the super self-involved Lang cared little for anything but his own amusement. We hear that he left her in there for several hours before returning her to her normal size and letting her out of the playpen. Niiiice. With all the family she’s got, it’s best not to mess with her. This isn’t going to end will for Lang.

The World’s Hottest Tender Tucker was still acting incredibly…. well, off! One of the Taneths went to give T.W.H.T. Tucker a nice long hug only to be GROPED! No lie! We hear that when she asked him if he missed her, he pulled her in closer and said “Can’t you tell?” UGH! Say it ain’t so! That’s disgusting. When did our strong, silent T.W.H.T. Tucker become a creepy old man??? Thankfully, Our Darling Taneth was able to wiggle her way free before he was able to make her more uncomfortable. That’s ridiculous!

Things didn’t get any better from there. T.W.H.T. Tucker had ANOTHER argument with Serena (isn’t that like three weeks in a row that their shift has ended in a fight?) and then PUNCHED Brale Brother Reap. We hear that he punched Reap so hard that he knocked him off his stool and that B.B. Reap actually spit out a TOOTH! Mad Cow Kazzy, Our Eve, and Lilli were on hand to make sure he was okay and collect his tooth and T.W.H.T. Tucker decided it was best to storm out. We would say that we bet B.B. Reap was PISSED but we bet he was actually sort of grateful. Can you imagine any other way that B.B. Reap would find to get three hot women tending to him???

OMG! WE TOLD YOU! We hear that Aja was seen with her ex, Padriq, Thursday night! Who is Padriq??? The HOTTEST Kidd brother…. Okay, okay. The ONLY HAWT Kidd brother! The pair had a loooong intimate chat. We hear that they both looked really into one another. THEN HE KISSED HER! No lie! Did we call it or did we call it??? This is a reunion we’ve seen in the works for MONTHS! However, we sure hope that they take it nice and slow. They rushed head first into it last time and we hope Padriq saw his mistake. Rushing too far too quickly can only scare your partner off! Take your time! Enjoy it! And congratulations to the pair of you for re-discovering love!

Then the night took a really crazy turn….

Sullen Sal stormed in from the Arena all pissed off and Crazy Train Tara had to clean the blood off his face and calm him down. C.T. Tara acting motherly is just a bit too freaky for us. Just as the situation seemed to be settling, Anubis decided to show up! Yep! It goes from a bad night to an absolutely insane night from here. Anubis demanded Bekah dance for him as he cuddled C.T. Tara which led to Lucky Lawyer Lucien IMMEDIATELY throwing a punch at Anubis. He didn’t even give Bekah a chance to refuse. He just lashed out at Anubis! The two just totally start absolutely BRAWLING in the middle of the Inn. Brale Brother Reap who never seems to miss a good bar fight jumped into the fray as well and for a while it seemed like they’d really lay a beating on Anubis.

Unfortunately for Reap, Dave decided to SHOT HIM IN HIS LEG and as Brale Brother Reap was dealing with the initial shock of being shot in the middle of the Inn, Dave pistol whipped him. B.B. Reap went down in a heap. Heh. That rhymes. Even Charna got a blow on Anubis! We hear that she packs a pretty mean punch with a shovel! C.T. Tara used the confusion as an opportunity to grab Bekah by the hair and threaten to kill her… which then brought Sal into the fight. As he and C.T. Tara beat on each other, Bekah CUT OFF HER OWN HAIR to get away from C.T. Tara.

Eventually, Anubis and C.T. Tara left the scene of the crime, leaving a lot of destruction and mayhem in their wake. This whole event is so crazy that we don’t even have to add our own commentary to it to make it sensational! WOW!

[Marc Franco]

Day After the Madness Friday!

The Red Dragon Inn was pretty vacant Friday night but we do hear that Veighn was around causing trouble. Considering the warnings Lucky Lawyer Lucien’s been giving Crazy Train Tara about him as of late, we don’t think L.L. Lucien is going to be too thrilled to hear that Lil’ Bit Lirssa had a run-in with him. It was Den Mama Icer that seemed to get his full wrath, though. We have no idea what’s going on with him but his behavior as of late certainly seems to have quite a few people awfully concerned.

L.L. Lucien was seen later into the night as he and Charna caught Nigel up on the drama that he missed the night before. It seems that Brale Brother Reap survived his gunshot and L.L. Lucien was overheard saying that Bekah was okay as well. We sure hope somebody did something about that God awful hair cut she gave herself in order to get out of C.T. Tara’s grasp! No word on how either C.T. Tara, though! You know you just want to be a fly on the wall the next time L.L. Lucien runs into C.T. Tara! He’s going to have her head!

As for Anubis, he certainly seemed fine when he entered the Inn laaaate into the night. We hear that he had some sort of short exchange with Joey which led to him STRIKING her! No lie! He totally hit her. Well, that will certainly won’t make his relationship with Slutty Pirate Girl Teagan any better. Joey stood up to him but she certainly got walloped and our sources say that she definitely seemed scared. It’s a hard lesson on how much of a target being a significant other to a star of the dueling venues is. You just know he did that in large part to send S.P.G. Teagan a message. Crazy.

[Marc Franco]

Patty Fingers Sunday!

Sometimes no matter how many times our sources explain to us what happened in the Red Dragon Inn on a given night, we just don’t understand. Maybe there are things that are just too crazy for us to wrap our minds around! That was Sunday night. Evidently there was a gingerbread ship full of gingerbread pirates who went on some sort of rampage in the Inn with Darcy, Lang, and Mega Mom Icer as its victims. The ship disappeared as suddenly as it appeared, though, and the patrons of the Red Dragon Inn were safe once more.

Harris bet Lil’ Bit Lirssa a silver that Harper would beat Kendall in a game of darts. We really didn’t think L.B. Lirssa to be the gambling sort but Harris is annoying enough to make anyone turn against their nature in order to shut him up! Kendall won the game of darts and L.B. Lirssa was excited to collect her coins. Perhaps Harper’s game was thrown off a bit because we hear she was admiring John’s new haircut. Well, after the game, Harris decided he needed to shake down Harper to recover the money he lost in his bet. The pair went blow for blow until L.B. Lirssa provided Harris with an ale… which, of course, distracted him from his shake down.

The night of fights didn’t stop there. Manly Mason and Doc Eva really ripped into Serena! Our sources couldn’t exactly tell what the argument was about but during the course of it both Manly Mason and Doc Eva stomped off once. Lil’ Bit Lirssa seemed to play peacemaker which again proves that she’s the most mature person in the Inn on any given night while Playboy Shane seemed to be sticking close to Serena’s side to offer emotional support. Crazy. We have no idea what this was about but you better believe we’re going to keep our ear to the ground!

Juliane was behind the bar and it seems that will be a regular occurrence. We do love Smith tenders! We hear that she caught Playboy Shane’s eye. Although, honestly, it’s not all that hard to catch Playboy Shane’s eye. Anyway, he was overheard asking Darcy about her later in the evening. We hear that Lil’ Bit Lirssa piped in to let Playboy Shane know that Juliane was Johnny’s sister and that if Shane got “all patty fingers with her” that Johnny would clobber Playboy Shane! HILARIOUS! We hear that Marvelous Mira was cracking up.

There were some Fight Night duels happening in the Annex but for the most part attention was focused on the Fists Tag Team Tournament that was taking place for the Tour. Although they only lasted one match, Jake and Napoleon certainly took the reward for best trash talkers! Who would have thought a rat and an orc would be so good at talking smack to their opponents??? They were so good, however, that we’re surprised that Smokin’ Sartan and the Gov MAN-tastic Matt were able to keep it together and beat them!

In the end nobody could match Sartan and MAN-tastic Matt’s skill and the pair took the tag team tournament. Congratulations to both of them!