October 2007

[Marc Franco]

Monday, October 1

Whore-acious Friday!

Lang appeared quite frustrated Friday night when in the middle of the Red Dragon Inn he was accused by ex-girlfriend Rhy of manipulating her and telling her that he loved her all in order to sleep with her. Ryo had to literally pull the crazed jilted lover away from the scene so that cooler heads may prevail. That's what happens when you play the game, Lang! If you're going to be a player better be ready for the DRAMAZ! And, man, do we love Rhy. She's totally the new Bloody Psycho Sera!!!

The Gov Kitty and Miss Mercy were in the Inn and up to trouble as usual. These two shouldn't be allowed within a hundred yards from one another!!! They're faaaar too much HAWT TROUBLE when together. This dynamic duo spent their time hitting on Antonio while he tended bar and passing mugs of ale to Lang to ease his "heartache".

Speaking of getting people liquored up, Brale Brother Baker was seen keeping our Evie in constant supply of booze! They looked all cute and snuggly as Baker whispered sweet nothings in her ear. We're still dyyyyying for these two to get married!!!

DoD-er Rena was seen in the Arena finally discussing the whereabouts of her Boy Toy Val with fellow DoD-er Charlie!!! Unfortunately, our sources FAILED to catch any details! We are ashamed and embarrassed by this disgrace and we promise to keep our ear to the ground for more details. Let's just say that by the looks on the women's faces, it doesn't seem like he's away on holiday!

Whore-acious Erin was also in the Arena shaking her lack of stuff. Now we used to think she was cute but since she decided to lead the charge against yours truly, we've decided she's a slimy little wench!!! It's on now, Whore-acious Erin!!! You don't BOYCOTT The GangSTAR!!!

[Marc Franco]

Wednesday, October 3

Plunderin' Saturday!

Whore-acious Erin has been seen spending a LOT of time with the girls of DoD! Saturday night she was seen having drinks with FLAWLESS Koy, Rena, PJ, and Charlie. It appears she's even moving in with DoD-er Charlie. Perhaps this is where Erin's poor attitude is coming from??? What has happened to our Cute Single Erin??? She must be seeing someone again. She is NO FUN when she's not single.

The Gov Kitty and Big Mama Icer were kept quite amused by the always FANTASTIC Miles and yummy Keaton!!! The Pluderin' Pirate and the Delicious DJ had quite the frank discussion in regards to The Gov's lady bits!!! And the conversation only got more entertaining when trouble-maker Stitch showed up!!! The Gov knows how to give as good as she gets, though. We're told that she grabbed Keaton's ass once and gave it a good hard squeeze. Oh, what the women (and some men!) of this city would pay to do that?!?!

Dear sweet Eless was spotted in the common room of the Inn looking quite sickly! She was being tended to by Icer and peppy blonde tender Sweet Sugar. We're dying to know what's wrong with our Eless!!! She's been ill for quite some time. Honey, you'll never catch Connar's heart looking all pale and unhealthy. Snap to it!!!

Later in the night Whore-acious Erin was seen keeping Eless company and the pair seemed to be having a heart-to-heart. We sure hope that Eless's manners and class rub off on Erin. She sure could use them!

We're pretty curious what Darren's approach is on winning back Sugar's heart!!! We certainly haven't seen him make any grand gestures. Late Saturday night, he merely sat in a back booth and looked on as Sugar had a silly conversation with the fabulous Viking lady Shy and FLIRTED with man-whore-wannabe Lang. Gah, whatever you do Sugar, stay AWAY from Lang. Haven't you had enough of bad boys?

[Marc Franco]

Wednesday, October 3

Birthday Sunday!

Here's the shock of all shocks. Sunday night in the Red Dragon Inn started off with Rhy demanding Lang tell her why he no longer wants her to be part of his life. We just don't even know where to begin but we'll give it a try....

OMG, Clingy Rhy!!! Please don't make use feel sorry for Wannabe Man Whore Lang!!! We don't want to!!! We will have to be dragged their kicking and screaming but you've got us by our gorgeous pink locks and are tugging us in that direction!!! Leave the poor man alone!!! The next time you want to go cry on his shoulder, take a deep breath and turn away. IT IS OVER!!!

HEIFER Jewell sure likes her pirates!!! Plunderin' Pirate Miles continued his time on land by spending time in the Inn. We have to think that he could find better company than HER!!! For example, the loooovely Eless was tending bar!!! She actually appeared nearly healthy. Maybe she'll catch her man after all!

Sianna and her main man Johnny were both spotted making the rounds Sunday night. We hear the couple is engaged after a delightfully short courtship which we're sure will be followed by a delightfully short marriage and then a spectacular blow-up of a divorce. But we digress, Sianna was sporting a darling tri-color gold engagement ring with vines and leaves and a sparkling diamond in the blossom of a rose. They are soooo cute and soooo in love. Blah, blah, blah.

As for an engagement that's been a bit longer in coming, we're told that the DIVINE Storm and her YUMMY Ewan are getting married VERY sooooon! FABULOUS! It's about time that Ewan took our advice and took that girl off the market! These two are fantastically HAWT together and will have the CUTEST kids!!! Hm. Maybe the DIVINE Storm is already pregnant??? How sinfully juicy would that be???

Much to the amusement of Annex goers, Nutty Rory, who was the caller on duty for Fight Night, certainly seemed to have a bee in her proverbial bonnet! She spent much of the night reminded HAWTIE Pirate Teagan not to kiss unsuspecting men (because if you remember correctly Teagan tried to kiss Rory's husband Sartan) and actually laid into Anubis at one point for some unknown reason. Anubis and Rory verbally sparred for a couple minutes before the issue seemed to die an uneasy death. Those two certainly seem to have some history!!!

Wyh Not was seen in the Annex for the first time in aaaaages! It was certainly good to see her out and about. She got in a duel against Bran and had an informative discussion with him on the amount of knowledge that the Towers of Duel of Magic hold. She encouraged him to study the secrets that his Tower holds. Iiiiiinteresting!

DoD-er Charlie and YUMMY Alain were again seen in each other's company in the Annex. He seemed to be sporting an injury and the pair of private investigators seemed to be having a pretty serious one-on-one conversation... again much to the dismay of their friends. Has Alain finally picked a woman out of his rotating bevy of beauties? Has Charlie given up on her TDL teammate returning home? Inquiring minds want to know, kids!!! We're not huuuuge fans of DoD-er Charlie's... but at least she's no Lassie Cassie!

Uriko popped in towards the end of the night and was overheard telling G'naughty G'nort that it was her birthday. G'nort at least managed to stop hitting on her long enough to wish her a happy birthday... or perhaps that was a line to get into her pants as well. At least Uriko managed to escape the scene without being punched. We all know how G'nort likes to hit unsuspecting young women!!!

Anyway.... HAPPY BIRTHDAY, URIKO!!!

[Marc Franco]

Thursday, October 4

SPOTTED Monday!

We are now proud to present your FIFTEENTH Rhydin edition of the often duplicated yet unequaled --

SPOTTED:

- Grem and Lydia were spotted at the bar in the Inn having an intimate conversation that left Lydia looking sad and disappointed. Come on, Grem!!! Get with it!!! If you want to keep your girlfriend from hopping into bed with that cute carpenter, you better give her a reason to stick around with you!!!

- Mercy seems to be moving on after the death of her man! She was seen being hit on at the bar by a big guy named Aaron. Mercy is awfully popular... but who could blame the men!!! Have you oogled her body lately???

- Jake in the Inn peppering the ladies, including Eless and Shy, with his lines. He has been linked with several women that frequent the Inn but Monday night he was seen spending time with one of our faaaaavorites in Piper. Niiiiiice taste, Jake!

- Tucker hanging out at the bar in the Inn. Tucker's much like Jake in his propensity to be linked with many of RhyDin's most beautiful women. Monday he was seen getting to know that dark-haired HAWTIE Eva a bit better. We don't know much about her yet but we do hear she's a doctor. SMART AND HAWT!!! Way to bag a good one, Tucker!

- G'naughty G'nort with The Gov Kitty sitting in his lap in the Outback!!! We truly believe that these two should not be allowed within twenty-five feet of one another. Not only is The Gov far too good for G'naughty, GangSTAR-Hating, Women-Hitting G'nort but their evil powers combined is certain to wreck havoc on this city!!!

- Super Sexy Sartan trying to convince his wife Nutty Rory that it's time to try for a second kid! Is it just us or do you also see Sartan as the type to get turned on by knocking a women up??? That guy's probably got half a dozen kids running around that he doesn't even know about.

- Sex-Crazed Alex joining the pair and plopping down in The Gov Kitty's lap. The trio took to kissing on one another. A very, very odd situation considering one of them is married to someone not in the group and another is supposedly "in love" with someone who has been kidnapped.... and we just don't even know what to say about Alex anymore. It takes a lot to shock the GangSTAR but she certainly seems to on a regular basis!

- Querylon proving that Vinny hasn't offed her (he scares us like that) by showing up on Twilight Island to exchange magical blows with her man. TDL season is fast approaching and Querylon's always one of our favorites to watch! We cannot wait!!! LET THE TDL DRAMA BEGIN!!!

[Marc Franco]

Monday, October 8

POSTAL Tuesday!

In an interesting twist of fate, it seems that in Bloody Psycho Sera's current man, she may have found someone who is even too psychotic and blow-up prone for her in Brian F.!!! When our sources spotted her Tuesday night in the Red Dragon Inn, Bloody Psycho Sera seemed to be getting awfully sick of her current man's on-going feud with Wanna-Be Pimp Lang!!! Sera attempted to get them to knock off the arguing but nothing seems to be working with those two. Poor Sera just can't catch a break!

The MAN Xeno was seen getting quite snippy with someone that he appeared to know quite well at the bar. Wow! We'd love to see the former Overlord totally go POSTAL on someone's unsuspecting ass!!!

So can we consider these two official yet??? The private investigators (and quite the hell-raising pair), Awesome Alain and DoD-er Charlie, were again spotted in each other's company in the Inn! The alcohol flowed heavy and the looks exchanged were hooooot!!! Our sources were unsure if these two were about to kill each other or about to have sex right there on the table! Definitely interesting! We hear that they then took the show down to the Outback and things got quite testy between Charlie and G'naughty G'nort!!! Could he disapprove of this budding.... well, whatever it is???

We LOVE tall redheads so we were just as excited as Chryrie to find that Basalt is back in town!!! The HAWTIE bartender was seen at the bar getting her drink on and Chryrie was as giddy as a fan girrrl! What fabulous news!!!

Our sources report back that Koy was seen acting incredibly odd in the Outback laaaate Tuesday night. Even her fellow DoD-ers seemed startled by her behavior!!! Is the stress of trying to remain hip and current in the ever-changing fashion industry starting to weigh on her???

[Marc Franco]

Monday, October 8

Duel of Magic All Ranks Tournament!

Tuesday saw a party atmosphere on Twilight Island as four of Magic's best casters showed up to take part!!! The goblins cooked up one miiiighty stew and delicious pumpkin treats!!! The goblins make great treats and these tournaments always turn out to be quite a blast!!! No pun intended.

The new Keeper of Fire Bran was speaking with Russel, the Keeper of Air, about facing off against a troublesome dragon that seemed to have his eye on the towers. Bran didn't have the power to slay the dragon but was able to turn it away. Russel didn't seem all that interested in helping out. Is it just us or is he a bit on the sleazy side?

With Topaz calling the action, the tournament turned into a round robin shoot out with Rena and Bran tying for third place and Russel coming from behind to end up in second place. That left the night's winner as the vastly unpopular but oh-so-wonderful drama-causer Vinny!

Congratulations, Vinny! We hear you took home quite the purse. We sure hope that you took that pretty Querylon out to one heck of a dinner!

[Marc Franco]

Monday, October 8

Redheaded Wednesday!

Johnny was overheard by our sources Wednesday night at the Red Dragon Inn gossiping with Puuuuurftect Piper and Stitch about exactly how he popped the question to Sianna!!! Evidently it was during the zombie infestation and wasn't exactly the most romantic proposal we've ever heard of. Well, he's only known the girl for a month and a half so it's not exactly like he's had all the time in the world to prepare. We still say that this relationship has all the makings of one hell of a flame out!!!

Finally, it appears that Rhy has stopped following Pimp Wanna-be Lang around. All it takes to ease a broken heart in this city is a taut rear end and a set of nice biceps!!! Rhy has now moved her attentions on to a more interested recipient in Brandon!!! If you remember correctly, Brandon's last relationship ended with the women whom he had just asked to marry him turning him down COOOOLD!!! Since these two are both quite familiar with being on the losing end of love we have a feeling that they might do quite well together.... at least for a couple weeks.

Not only has the goooorgeous redhead Basalt returned to RhyDin but it appears that the patrons of the Red Dragon Inn are lucky enough to get her HAWTNESS back as a bartender as well!!! She was seen pouring drinks and entertaining the drunks from behind the bar with SUUUUUPER Des at her side!!!

Brian was seen in the Inn catching up on the goings-on that he missed while away for the birth of his twins and catching the Inn up on the goings-on of his growing family!!! We do hope this means that Jenai will be returning soon. We have missed them both!!!

G'naughty G'nort was again seen with Sex-crazed Alex in the Outback in the late hours of Wednesday night. Despite what we hear people saying, we have an awfully hard time believing that these two have not yet had sex!!! Such silliness. Just seal the freaking deal already!!!

[Marc Franco]

Tuesday, October 9

Man-errific Thursday!

Is there already problems in paradise for DoD-er Charlie and Awesome Alain??? Are they even really seeing each other??? Our sources are disappointing us miserably on this issue. Thursday night in the Inn, DoD-er Charlie was seen chatting with fellow DoD-er Rena while Awesome Alain flirted with new beauty Adrianna. They discussed their mutual love for motorcycles but not Alain's ingrained love for being suuuuper friendly with every woman he stumbles over. Perhaps they made up because a short time later the pair was seen giving each other those heated looks over coffee.

Carley! Carley! Carley! Oh how we love us some Carley! She is absolutely adorable! Things appeared a bit awkward between she and Hunky Carpenter Glenn at first and actually degenerated into a staring contest at one point. Thankfully, though, she seemed to crack through his aloof exterior a bit and even gave him a KISS on the cheek!!! These two are sooooo adorable!!!

Perhaps the conversation that Piper and Stitch had with love birds Johnny and Sianna put the pair in a romantic mood!!! The next night, a pretty fabulous piece of graffiti art showed up on the wall opposite the back door in the alley. It reads "Piper HEARTS Stitch!" LOVE IT!!! Those crazy kids!!!

Panther and The Gov Kitty are viciously HAWT when in the same room. STEAMING HAWT!!! The two make us droooool with their silly flirting! It's really too bad that they're not serious because they would totally be our "it" couple. We can't help but grin at their antics!!!

Sweet Sugar just doesn't seem to learn! With Man-eriffic Tucker keeping a watchful eye over Sugar and giving off that whole big brotherly vibe, she and Bad Boy Darren had a quiet, intense discussion. It seems they're getting back together again!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Are you crazy?!?! Le sigh. These girls never learn.

In better news on the status of current relationships, we hear that Maia and Harry have saaaailed off into the sunset together. Literally!!! After battling zombies and assisting in the rebuilding effort, they are taking off on a much needed vacation. It seems there's no question whether or not these two are a couple. It's CONFIRMED!!! They deserve it!!!

Sex-crazed Alex was up to her usual trouble down in the Arena Thursday night as she continued to kiss every man, beast, reptile she laid eyes on. Bran seemed a bit shocked by the impromptu kiss and led to G'naught G'nort telling her to brush her teeth before she kisses him again!!! Classy as always, G'nort!

[Marc Franco]

Tuesday, October 9

MUST SEE Friday!

Our sources were quick to report that they saw new love blossoming right before their very eyes Friday night in the Red Dragon Inn!!! Evidently, Brandon was a blushing fool over the bubbly Rhy while stumbling his way through asking her out on a date. If it had been just a bit less awkward it would have been cute but according to our sources it just proved difficult to watch!!!

Speaking of new love blossoming, Phillipe and Adrianna were lubricating their relationship with massive quantities of alcohol. We hope they slept together and he knocked her up. That would be some deliciously wonderful gossip.

SPLENDIFEROUS Kairee returned to the realm!!! Any man who loves shapely legs and a tight rear end will rejoice and be glad!!! She was seen spending a bit of quality time reuniting with her oh-so hot man, Julien. Welcome back, oh SPLENDIFEROUS one!!!

Otherwise, the bar was pretty quiet Friday night! That doesn't mean that Antonio wasn't kept busy behind the bar, though! Everybody's favorite boozing couple (remember, kids -- the couple that gets trashed together, stays together!) Our Evie and her Brale Brother Baker kept him busy refilling their mugs of ale. We're still dyyyyyying for these two to get hitched!!!

Down in the basement Arena, The Gov Kitty was seen cuddling up in G'naughty G'nort's lap. Ew. Yuck. We thought she had better taste than his skankness!!! We're still wondering when G'naughty G'nort's wife is going to come back in town to seriously lay some smack down on his less than loyal tail!!!

The Overlord Cletus and his brother Magnus were both spotted in the rings of the Arena while Xeno called!!! Certainly a night of legends!!! We're still just waiting on a challenge from Magnus. He has to have enough wins by now.

Perhaps he's just waiting to see the results of Wednesday night's challenge with Damien and Cas! Speaking of which, that's a total MUST SEE EVENT!!! You like trash-talking? You like to watch two talented duelists duke it out? BE THERE Wednesday night at 10 in the Arena to witness the action!!!

[Marc Franco]

Sunday, October 14

We Can’t Believe We Missed It Saturday!

Insane Harris was back to interviewing candidates for the position of “Second Wife” in preparation of his wife kicking him to the curb. Saturday night’s vict– er, lucky potential homemaker? The Gov Kitty. Well, we suppose she does need SOMETHING to keep her busy once her political career comes to an end!!! Kitty didn’t seem to thrilled about the prospect. She offered to take temporary staffing as a mistress but advised Harris that she doesn’t have the long-term commitment to the concept of monogamy that one must need to be married.

….evidently, she hasn’t heard about G’naughty G’nort’s marriage without monogamy scheme!!!

The silliness ended with Guthorm and Kitty exchanging some heated words!!! He DEMANDED to speak with her on the porch for a more private conversation and, more surprisingly, she complied with his demand!!! Wowza!!! The man’s got one heck of a set of you-know-whats there, doesn’t he?

With her man Julien absent, SPLENDIFEROUS Kairee was getting her mack on!! The man in question??? A drow named Ilztyn!!! The pair shared several drinks at the bar before hitting the town for some dancing!!! Julien better shape up or he’s going to be booted to the curb!!!

WE CAN’T BELIEVE WE MISSED IT!!! Lydia was overheard telling DoD-er Rena that Ewan finally wised up and MARRIED the DIVINE Storm!!! We are so excited for the both of them but so dreadfully disappointed that we were not invited. Can you only imagine how beaaaauuutiful Storm was??? We’re dying to know some details. If you were there and know something, PLEASE contact us!!!

Congratulations to the both of them! That is fan-freaking-tastic!

Speaking of DoD-er Rena, later in the evening, she introduced her new “pal” Soerl to Lydia!!! Rena’s former Boy Toy Val still isn’t around and now she’s taken to keeping company with Soerl??? Iiiiiinteresting, no? She’s even introducing him to her friends!!! We starting to think that Rena’s replaced Val in her life!!!

Down in the Inn’s basement Arena the kids were up to their usual antics. Dioxane was breaking in a new caller named Minstrel, introducing him to all the patrons as her future “BF”. We’re not quite sure how he felt about that. Our sources told us he looked a tad bit uncomfortable!!! But come on!!! It’s Dioxane!!! She’s super HAWT!!!

Clueless Chris, the Duel of Swords supervisor, seemed, well, clueless in regards to his new hire. In fact, he seemed more interested in talking the kid out of a paycheck then checking his references. It’s time’s like these that you have to wonder about how the Arena runs so smoothly under such…. uh, interesting leadership. However, he sure makes things entertaining, no??? And how can you hate a man who’s brought us such ENTERTAINING callers as the sex perv Imp and nutty Rory and dirty sexy DoD-er Rena and boy-crazy Dioxane and SUUUUUPER Des and cranky Cicero???

[Marc Franco]

Monday, October 15

Ex Wife Sunday!

Sunday night started much as Saturday night ended in the Red Dragon Inn!!! Soerl and DoD-er Rena were again chatting with Lydia who appeared very much the third wheel at this table!!! Soerl was directing heavy flattery Rena’s way and could barely tear his eyes off of her.

Ilztyn was overheard by our sources chatting up SPLENDIFEROUS Kairee once again!!! Evidently he told her that he had a fantastic time in her company the night before. The pair didn’t last in the Inn long!!! SPLENDIFEROUS Kairee seemed to fall for the man’s charms and they headed out to take the “conversation” elsewhere. OMG, Kairee moves FAAAAAAST!!!

WHOA! Did we miss something??? Evidently Deadbeat Dad Alex was spotted exchanging some R-rated looks with her former girl, Other Woman Lain, during a very private conversation that the two were having! Our sources inform us that D.D. Alex’s wife, The OTHER Other Woman Yami, hasn’t been seen with him in quite some time. D.D. Alex does seem to have second thoughts a lot after leaving a woman, no???

Just when we thought HEIFER Jewell had finally left for good! Blah on her! She was spotted in the Inn with her uncouth pirate husband Stephen. Evidently they’ve been at sea… blah, blah, blah…. they’re just stopping for supplies… We HATE writing about her! We only do it because we know YOU sickos looooove to read about her. MAKE IT STOOOOPPPPP!!!

HEIFER Jewell did at least warn our lovely Eless when Wil took a seat at the bar when Eless was tending. We certainly haven’t seen Wil in a while but he hasn’t changed in the least!!! He did some HARDCORE hitting on Eless but, thankfully, she seemed quite immune from his charms. That man reaaaally needs a lesson in subtly! Big Boss Man Panther stepped in to save the day, advising Wil that as Eless’s boss, he was the only “special man” she needed in her life! And, thus, just another reason why we are maaaadly in love with Panther!

Wil is never one to dwell on defeat so he quickly moved on to the Luscious Piper!!! We know we don’t have to worry about Piper falling in with that sort of man, though. She’s too mouthy for their taste!!! That’s why we love Love LOVE Piper!!!

Our sources CLAIM that they actually caught Uber-serious but Uber-HAWT new hubby Ewan grinning in the Inn Sunday night!!! Well, wouldn’t you be grinning if you woke up and realized that you get to make the relations with the DIVINE Storm for the rest of your natural life??? He seemed quite content with married life and we are so happy for them both!!! Storm came in a bit later and, let us just tell you, they were TOO CUTE together!!!

It was nice to see Sweet Sugar out and about! The blonde half of the twins ventured down into the depths of the Red Dragon Inn for Fight Night in the Annex with her man-again Bad Boy Darren!!! She actually seemed to be in quite a good mood and was even a bit on the social side!

Brandon tried to get a Swords duel in but it turns out that, for some reason, the healing Ward of Gondar doesn’t protect him!!! NOT GOOD!!! Luckily for him, HAWT redheaded elf Katarina was quick to spot him and bandaged him up!!! Brandon wisely decided that it was probably best if he didn’t stuck to Fists dueling from then on. Good idea, kid!

Although we hate woman-hitting, cheater G’naughty G’nort we must love his way of signing up talent to the two TDL teams he will own this year!!! He was overheard TELLING Mini-Frank Cor that he was signing him up and that Mini-Frank Cor WOULD win. LOVE IT!!! HATE HIM!!!

Man-tastic Matt and FLAWLESS Koy were seen spending a bit of time together and having an intimate conversation. It seemed like the topic was Matt’s ex-wife but our sources failed to overhear any details. However, they say that by the look on his face, it wasn’t a happy discussion!!! LOVE THE EX-SPOUSE DRAMA!!!

[Marc Franco]

Monday, October 15

Overheard Around Town!

- “Ey big bad an’ fury…paws… literally paws off me wifes backside.” Unwashed Pirate Stephen to Panther. LOVE IT!!!

- ” I didn’t get voted in just because I’m sexy.” Kitty, after coming up with the BRILLIANT plan of throwing The Stew at the zombies.

- “Oh, Baker told you about that thing I do with my tongue?” OMG, Evie! We’re dyyyyying to know!

- ” I just figured out what i’m gonna be for halloween. I’m gonna be Lady Godiva’s horse…yeah! And Sammie can be naked and ride me all night long.” Wow. Way more information than we wanted to know, Darren.

- “Haven’t you heard? I’m already damned. I’m the Governor. Politicians are doomed from the moment they take office.” The Gov Kitty telling the zombie infestation.

- “It is the Red Dragon Inn, sometimes hilarious, sometimes dangerous, but always illuminating.” Wise words from Sylvia.

- “Sugar fried Erin’s brain and made her sad or something. And Darren can’t get happy in his pants, I guess. Touche all around.” Evie’s run-down of what went down between Cute Single Erin-Bad Boy Darren-Sweet Sugar on Monday night.

- “I’m what Darwin was talking about bud, I eliminate the weak… so the strong can survive.” So said Brian Fury to Lang during a heated argument in the Inn. This is the bad ass quote of the week!

- “Do I need to rearrange your testicles again?” So asked Harris to Darren. We didn’t know these two were so…. close.

- “And I’m really great at fighting. You should have seen me destroy that Fatty Fae. ” From Carley, evidently referring to HEIFER Jewell! OMG!!! WE LOVE CARLEY!!! That’s the best nickname EVAR!

[Marc Franco]

Monday, October 15

Sick Patron Monday!

Oooooh, the drama!!! Our sources aren’t incredibly sure of the details but the Red Dragon Inn certainly got off to a rough start on Monday night!!! New girl AJ lost her lunch on the floor in the Inn (YUCK!) while her guy Phillipe sobbed. THERE’S NO CRYING OR YACKING IN THE INN!!! Why can’t people remember that??? Especially men! Sheesh. We have no idea what happened but we’ve got a feeling these two are going to provide us drama for quite some time.

Speaking of being green around the gills, Tucker was seen in the Inn not looking good at all! He couldn’t even finish a bowl of soup and Lydia tended to him by making him a mug of tea. Pooooor Tucker!!! Tucker seemed quite adamant that Lydia get a message from him to Doc Babe Eva! Maybe Tucker’s just aching for a bit of TLC??? Forget Eva, Tucker! We’ll volunteer!!!

Lydia went on to have a conversation with Stitch and Maeve that involved the topics of fighting, balance, and instincts. Blah, blah, blah. What’s with the meaningful conversations??? Let’s get to the gossipy subjects already! Our sources DID overhear Stitch telling Lydia that there is a female version of him out there somewhere and she’s evidently even more NASTY!!! LOVE IT!!!

Evidently as a prank, someone came in and replaced the ale with a nonalcoholic version!!! Johnny didn’t seem to find that particular prank all that funny. His gooooorgeous wife-to-be Sianna certainly did, though!!! Unfortunately, she continued to enable her alcoholic partner by providing him with a couple bottles of Badsider to accompany the meal she made him and his friend Peredhil. Bah! These men don’t appreciate what they have!!! Sianna is the best!

What a pleasant surprise! The lovely Sylvia was behind the bar Monday night! We looooove her! She met a cute new girl named….. Hodge. Really?!?! Hodge? Did your parents hate you??? We think that Kitty should pass a law not allowing the parents of this city to name their kids any longer. We should be put in charge of the task. You don’t name your daughter HODGE!!! Anyway, Hodge is cute and she should be thanking her lucky stars that she is because it would be ten times worse being coupled with that name if she was, you know, the size of a cow…. like a certain Fatty Fae!!!

Cute Carley was hanging out at the bar which caused the chaos and fun that always seems to accompany that adorable bundle of trouble!!! She exchanged insults with Stitch and had some choice words about HEIFER Jewell but spent most of her time tending to her Hunky Carpenter Glenn who also seems to have caught the virus that’s going around! That must be one heck of a cold!

In the Outback, Red Orc Brewery spokesmodel PJ showed her face (and, oh, what a pretty face it is) for the first time in a long time! Her leg is still in a cast from her motorcycle accident but she does seem to be getting around with her crutches better these days! Fellow DoD-er Rena seemed just exhausted by the drama as PJ was hauled off by her former man Gavin! The pair had a low but obviously heated conversation before PJ stormed out.

There was a bit of drama happening on the sandy shores of Twilight Island as well! Innocent, bubbly Taree is back in town but doesn’t seem to remember any of her old friends. Esper and Topaz seemed especially concerned for her but both were at a loss over what was causing the memory loss. Iiiiiinteresting!

[Marc Franco]

Monday, October 15

Town Drunk Tuesday!

We knew that AJ and Phillipe would be gossip gold!!! They started us off Tuesday night in the Red Dragon Inn on the right foot! Phillipe was evidently upset about something YOUR Gossip GangSTAR wrote (Don’t kill the messenger!) which led to an uncomfortable argument. Phillipe smoothed things over by telling her that she’s his everything while she cried. Le sigh. These men reaaaaally need to learn to take their time with the Drama Queens. We know this one is going to end badly and, we may be horrible for saying this, but we just CANNOT WAIT for the break-up!!!

On the other hand, we find new guy Jason A.’s growing relationship with dark-haired stunner new girl Savannah absolutely adorable! There’s something about this pairing that makes us want to pinch their cheeks. Too cute!!! Definitely look out for this blossoming romance!!!

Oooooooh Nooooooo! We fear our dear sweet Eless might be falling for the charms of Playboy Wil!!! Our cold black heart weeps for her lost soul!!! Eless certainly seemed a bit flustered when Wil showed up at the bar while she was tending with Cutie Pie Amber.

OMG!!! Even though Eless has baaaad taste in men, we still LOVE her! After Wil took off, our sources tell us she was passing out buttons that read “Just say no!” with a picture of Bad Boy Darren!!! LOVE HER SNARKY SENSE OF HUMOR!!! We have a feeling that Bad Boy Darren was just proud of himself for earning such infamy with his trouble-making abilities.

We hear that Tucker wasn’t looking much better Tuesday night than he did Monday night. This time, however, he was able to locate his Eva. And let us tell you, there is certainly some chemistry here! Although, they didn’t even touch, the looks that Eva and Tucker exchanged were hot hawt HAWT! We think that the two of them together is toooooo perfect!

Over in the Outback, Whore-acious Erin got pissy with Mini-Frank Cor for joking that she was an unreliable drunk and reminding her that she was voted Town Drunk!!! Really, Erin??? You can’t truly be upset with him saying that. After all, it’s the truth!!! And it’s not like you do anything to change your image. In fact, if anything since being voted that, you’ve done MORE to encourage that image!!! If you don’t want people to think your a drunk, put down the shot glass! Pick up a book! Step away from the DoD girls! Spend more time with Lydia!

There was lots and lots of action over on Twilight Island thanks to the MegaCast Tournament hosted by the always fantastic and ever so hunky Brig!!! Oh, how he makes us droooooool!!! The free for all tournament attracted quite the crowd, including Vicious Vinny, Cranky Cas, and the Lizard-man Bran! In the end, however, it was the experienced and quite hunky in his own right Will Wulfson that emerged the victor! Congratulations, Will!

[Marc Franco]

Saturday, October 20

Sex-Addicted Wednesday!

Just when you thought the Lang/Brian F. drama was over, the matter exploded once again last Wednesday night in the Red Dragon Inn. Claaaaassy. Brian F. made mention that he failed in killing Lang which got Icer and the gang all riled up. Then Brian called Rhy a moron (which, come on, she is!) which got her new man Brandon all riled up. Of course, TRASH-tastic Jade had to get involved because what is a undignified argument without her jumping in and spouting some of her verbal garbage?

Brian had some stellar comebacks for the TRASH-tastic one… but they’re just a bit on the randy side for us to post in here. We’ve got to admit, we have a bit of a soft spot for Brian and it’s not just because he told Jade what she could do with her mouth!

Bloody Psycho Sera showed up to try to calm the situation down but it just led to a nasty argument between her and her man Brian. Poor Bloody Psycho! She finally finds a man who is really into her and it turns out he’s more psycho than she is!!!

Deadbeat Dad Alex and The Other Woman Lain were both hanging out in the Inn during all the chaos and, of course, they assisted in instigating the mess. The bigger question, though, is where is The OTHER Other Woman Yami??? Are D.D. Alex and The Other Woman Lain back together??? We sure hope not because we liked them better when they were apart. Although, it would be awwwwwesome gossip fodder if Alex has left a second woman to be with Lain!!!

The Inn got a bit quiet after that. Our Evie and Brale Brother Baker did some of their drinking at the bar and kept Basalt quite busy refilling their mugs. There’s still no engagement ring on Evie’s finger and that makes us saaaaad! Pop the question already, B.B. Baker!

In the Outback, what started as “friendly” punching between Sartan and Harris denigrated into the pair duking it out in a ring. This match turned into a ground wrestling HAWT-a-thon…. and we remembered why everybody LOVES the Outback! HAWT, shirtless men getting it on! What? That’s not why YOU love the Outback??? You’ve got to be kidding me!!!

G’naughty G’nort was overheard giving The Gov Kitty some political advise. Doesn’t she have staff more mentally equipped to give her sound advice??? Must she really go to that sex-addicted, woman-hitting moron?!?! Come on, Gov!!!

Down in the Inn’s basement Arena, Cas was pressing his challenge against the Baron of Seaside, Damien! Overlord Cletus stepped in, as is his right, to give the Warlord a Test of Worthiness. Baron G’naughty G’nort decided that Cas was worthy and, as is his right as a renegade baron, stepped in to face Cletus on the behalf of Cas. G’naughty G’nort did not do well! He did not do well at all! The Overlord took a perfect match and then took the Warlord down with almost as much ease!!! SIIIIICK!!! Well, that’ll certainly discourage some people from trying a shot at the Overlord or one of his loyal barons!

It was a good thing that the Overlord won the match because, by the looks of things, Damien was faaaaar too hammered to walk straight much less duel.

Congratulations to Overlord Cletus! And congratulations to Baron Damien for knowing the importance of talented friends in hiiiiigh places!