What's this about a Fish Comb?

Stories of the those from House Dragoon Talanador, the Company of the Dragon and the Tavern itself.

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What's this about a Fish Comb?

Post by G »

G'nort Esplanade G'neesmacher Dragoon-Talanador was many things. A duelist, a capitalist, a wheeler dealer, con man.. you know, he was G. But tonight was the first time he made something really spectacular out of less than nothing.

When Tara asked him to find a brush she lost in the Arena, he thought it'd be no big deal. The boys cleaning up would come across it and have it in the lost and found to be claimed. Sounds easy, huh? Well, it would have been had he remembered to check up on it. Instead, while he was bored and hanging around in the Red Dragon Inn, scoping out the competition, as it were, Tara came across him and immediately asked about the missing brush.

Naturally, G didn't have it with him. But he also didn't really know if it was found or not. So thinking quickly, G made the claim that several items were found, three brushes, two combs, a pick and, this was the genius of it, a fish bone.

Little was he expecting Tara to show interest in that little item. It didn't hurt that G described it as something that could be used to comb ones hair. Then she offered to pay for it. So, G did what any good businessman would do for his friend.

He talked it up to make it far more expensive than it was worth.

It was almost a non-deal, too. Until Eless mentioned that it should be jewel encrusted. So, he made up the idea that it had rubies mounted in the fishes eyes. Tara took it like a, forgive me, a Fish to Water. Took to it by the tune of 75, 000 gold.

Now how is G supposed to resist that?

Of course, now he had to come up with a Ruby Eyed Skeletal Fish Comb, verified and certified. For Tara.

Joy, rapture. Not to mention he offered to throw in a Blowfish to help dry her hair.

At least she forgot about her brush.
Last edited by G on Thu Nov 26, 2009 1:58 am, edited 1 time in total.
G'nort Dragoon-Talanador
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Post by G »

"You want how much? But I've already got the rubies! Just stick'em in the eyes and be done with it!" G cried out to the jeweler behind the counter.

"It's not that simple, sir. These rubies need to be cut, and then the eyes of the skull need to be properly set so that they don't just suddenly fall out. It's a delicate process."

"And for this you want 15,000 silver nobles? That's a bit pricey, I think!" G'nort scoffed, folding his arms over his chest and glaring at the man.

"Well, we do excellent work. And it's not a normal request to set jewels into the eyes of a skeleton like this. You also have to cure and manage the bones so they don't degrade over time. Then to polish it and strengthen it into a.. comb?" the Jeweler almost laughed. "Well, it's going to cost you. You'll pay more at Robbins 8th and Walnut, you know."

"I already went to them. The guy had a diamond in his beard, too strange for my tastes." G sighed. This was the best quoted price he had gotten thus far anyway. "All right, fine. I'll pay your stupid 15k. But it better be completed by tomorrow, or you can forget your tip!"

"Don't worry sir, it will be ready by 5pm, just make sure you don't handle it for at least twenty four hours. It might go fragile. We will remind you again when you pick it up."

"Fine. Thank you." G grumped, turning to exit the jewelry shop.

"Sir! Sir wait!" the jeweler called out hurriedly.

"Yes, what is it now?"

"You forgot to give us the rubies."

"Oh." With a sigh, G pulled out a small velvet case and slid it over to the man. Inside were three sparkling red rubies. "One's extra, just in case. I don't expect you to use it, so will want it back."

"Don't worry, sir, you've chosen the right place."

"I hope so, for your sake. Or so help me I'll buy this place so I can fire you all and burn it to the ground."

G then pushed open the door and left "Crazy Eddie's House of Gems."

"Now to find a blowfish...."
G'nort Dragoon-Talanador
Duel of Swords Legend. Best In The World™.
First All Time DoS Title Holder.
Listed as "Daddy" in your daughters contacts list.
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Post by G »

Showing back up at Crazy Eddie's House of Gems the next day, carrying an over sized fish tank filled with water, a little castle, some plastic weeds, and a Blow Fish that just kinda was floating nonchalantly in the middle of the tank, G'nort came through the door with a grump.

"S'it ready?" he asked, setting the tank on the counter.

"Why yes, as a matter of fact we finished it a short while ago. Why do you have that fish with you? Shouldn't it be in a bag or something? It looks heavy." the jeweler commented with a dubious look on his face.

"Well yes. It has to go with the Ruby Eyed Skeletal Fish Comb, of course." G explained with some manner of exasperation. Why did he have to explain every little detail to these people, anyway?

"For the narrative, sir."

"What?"

"Nothing. What does the fish have to do with the comb, if I may ask?"

G sighed. Well, it wasn't really that big a deal to tell this nobody about it. "If you must know, it's to help blow dry the hair of the woman who is receiving this comb."

The jeweler looked confused. "But won't it blow water?"

With a roll of his eyes. "Of course it will. That's what will make it funny. And when she comes to kill me, I'll explain how it was all some huge misunderstanding, and that I must have been given a defective blow fish dryer. *Then* I will make an attempt to get more money from the woman. Really, I think of everything."

"Genius, sir." Though he clearly had no idea as to what G was talking about, let alone the logic being used in this situation.

"Yes, I know. So.. it's ready? Let me have a look!" G was actually excited to see the Ruby Eyed Skeletal Fish Comb.

"And here it is." The jeweler pulled out an ornate box and slowly lifted the lid for dramatic effect.

And there was a shine glowing, reflected off of G's face...
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Post by G »

Now, when one opens up a box and something shines in your face, you would think that the first thing you'd do is look away. However, despite the really horribly named "Crazy Eddie's House of Gems", these people did extremely good work.

Okay, so the box had lights mounted on the corner for added effect, but they were pointed down at the item which was reflecting that shine up into G'norts face. This was more than just a simple Fish Skeleton with rubies mounted in the eyes. Yes, if truth be told, he would have paid double for it.

The spines of the fish had been polished to an impressive marble like finish. On the handle where it'd be held, they had created a handle and plated it with gold. The eyes had been perfectly mounted hexagonal rubies(which he provided) on each side. And it was covered in a laquer to ensure that it'd be difficult to break. All this made from from a real fish bone.

G couldn't help but be impressed. And he let out a low whistle. "Nice, very nice. I'm impressed."

The Jeweler just smiled and nodded. "I thought you might be. Excellent work for something that was done in less than 24 hours, as you requested. Now, you must be careful with this, allow at least another 24 hours for it to solidify and remain strong. Otherwise you risk it becoming brittle. Now, the handle has been plated with 14 karat gold. We took the liberty of adding that in order to maintain the valued appearance. And we have written out a certificate for you, labeled 'Genuine, One of a Kind Talanadorian Ruby Eyed Skeletal Fish Bone Comb.' And we sincerely hope you are satisfied."

G was just nodding the whole time, eyes on the fish comb. It's value had increased to him because of how well it was made. For a brief moment he considered keeping it, although he had already made the sale and was committed to handing it over to Tara.

"Ehh, it's not bad." was his response.

The jeweler just blinked. "Not bad. Sir, I assure you that you will not find it's likeness anywhere else. It's one of a kind!"

"I know, it's certified." And G held up the paper that certified it as one of a kind. It was fairly obvious and all.

"Indeed. Anyway, sir, since we have now presented you with the finished product, the time has come to settle the bill?" It was asked more than stated.

"Yes, 15,000 silver nobles. As promised. It is an adequate price for this item." after all, he's still making a hefty profit regarding this. So he closed the box and placed it on top of the fish tank, handing over a bag of silver.

"This is the down payment. If you send someone to the Golden Ivy Tavern, I will be able to pay you the rest."

"We know of your reputation, sir..." The Jeweler started to say before G cut him off.

"It's all lies. You'll get your payment. Noone can carry around that much in coin on them at one time!" Defensive, wasn't he?

"We know. I just meant that with your reputation, we can send a carriage to your Tavern to collect, and that we trust in your business. Will tomorrow at noon be acceptable for you?" He offered.

"Oh. Well, yes then. Tomorrow at noon. Thank you."

"Good luck with your lady friend and the blowfish, sir. We look forward to doing business with you again." He smiled and waved as G took up his burden and moved to exit the shop.

"I'm going to need it, knowing her. Good evening." And he left.
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