Reflections of a fallen...

[Rhaine]

A scroll, written in clear, firm hand, rests on the table, abandoned...

"I once heard, that putting your thoughts on paper can help to analyze them, find the reasons for your actions and solutions to your problem. Now, when I'm lost without a reason to live, this is my only choice...

My name is Rhaine Rustovich of Citadel Nessus. In my past I had been serving Asmodeus, supreme lord of Baatezu, as a warrior. My teacher, Lehroulinn, was a powerful mage obsessed with ambitions. He desired to create a world of his own... That's how this all began.

Was it a curse or a blessing for me to have a natural gift for magic of life? I have long surpassed my teachers in this field, and enjoyed using magic for combat. I was a mortal - but I could live almost as long as I pleased modifying myself the way I wished. Almost forever - was this not too much for me? It probably was…

When Lehroulinn decided to start on his endless journey to perfection, I followed him. I became his bodyguard and assistant. And remained with him for endless ages in the world he created, designing life forms to populate the new realm. Time passed unnoticed for me, and I became bound to the new world - bound by my own magic... The more of sentient beings awakened and came to concept of religion, the greater chances I had to dissolve, to become a mindless force of Creation. But my mortality was too strong in me. I left – to serve Asmodeus, to be with those dear to me.

I reveled in the sound of battle, and soon I rose to the rank of Commander. However, a timely coup had overthrown me. Yet the flame of faith burned in my soul – and I joined the priesthood, seeking to serve my Lord with my intellect as well as my combat skill. Together with Knights of Asmodeus I rushed into combat, and my heart was singing with joy. I used my binding to the new world to perform tasks unheard of – reverting undead transform, destroying a demon possessing a fellow warrior… I felt happy. I had everything I could wish for.

[Rhaine]

It was the time when I met future Champion of Asmodeus, Tenebris. Strange he was to me – with his fanatical dedication, with his sharp wit and yet burning bloodlust. His hellfire eyes were full of cold flame of honor and loyalty to Asmodeus. I could wish for no better comrade. When he took his rightful place as personal bodyguard to our Chosen One, he gained much power – and this power, I believed, could not corrupt him, as simple water can not stain a noble Sidhe sword with rust…

Yet in the depths of Baator a plot was brewing to deprive Asmodeus of His power. Much of god’s power comes from faith of His mortal followers, and soon many members of our order started falling into odd hibernation. Thyme, our Chosen, Tenebris and myself decided to stop this. We believed we could manage this… The reforms we started could change the way our Temple was sinking into oblivion. It was a dreadful day when we sensed resistance – hidden, yet effective. Thyme’s usual diplomatic manner could do nothing in dealing with things. And for more zealous asmodeans, there was a trap prepared.

Atazoth, a pit fiend of great power, used Tenebris’ emotional weakness to lure him into a trap and steal his soul, sealing it into a complex reality warp and hiding it in the ashen valleys of Avernus. He thought that no Knight would venture into Baator and live. He was wrong. I paid the price requested by another Baatezu, paid with my freedom of thought, and descended into the Hells. My magic and skill were enough to locate the space warp cocoon, and bring it to my study in the Temple. With the aid of this Baatezu I entered the warp – to save Tenebris.

Atazoth used this to make his mortal puppets overthrow Thyme. We returned, tired and wounded, to the Temple without our leader. Tenebris could not agree to this, he left the Temple – and I followed him. For deep in the ashen realm of Avernus I realized, that it wasn’t purely duty and loyalty leading me into Hells…

However, the gate that let Tenebris pass rejected me. He was bound to magic of death, and I was a natural life mage. I found myself in the world I was bound to, teleported instantly in one flash of searing pain. The magic I invested into creation of life in that realm, tore into my soul. Oblivion was at hand, it took me over two centuries to break away, and leave with my soul scarred… I wandered into the Temple of Asmodeus – and saw the lethargy taking over the religion I once loved. I walked along the cold halls – and my soul was filled with numbing, soul-crushing sorrow.

I left the Temple. I no longer had the reason to live. I wandered aimlessly, seeking anything – from distraction to destruction. I came to RhyDin, and joined a team of adventurers. And now I see a clawed hand touching this world... I recognize the manner of Baatezu. And this fear clutches my soul.

[Rhaine]

I'm fairly helpless without my combat magic. But my knowledge remains, and my ability to heal and create is still with me.

I do not know your true name, Baatezu, but I shall gladly sacrifice my life to avenge the order I loved... I had no power to follow Tenebris, but in this realm there is at least something I can do... "

The writing ends suddenly, and the signature is in blood.

_______________
Rhaine Rustovich of Nessus, fallen Priestess of Asmodeus

[Rhaine]

After my visit to Dojo Darelir I had been working all night at blood magic detectors, and experimented with several spells I needed badly. By the time I could go to Twilight Isle I was drained. I hoped to absorb some energy from the spells local casters scatter like plain glass beads. Direct absorbtion would not give me much, but at least would help me to survive without having to resort to drastic measures.

I even had to walk through the portal to get to the isle! How horrible...being unable to shadow-warp... First duel I watched slightly helped me. But I guess there is no rest for a vampire. ArchMage Mur seemed to find entertainment in telling me that I whine instead of dueling and challenging me to fight him. Dueling ArchMage?! when I have no strength even for a simple fireball?! But Mur's taunts have done their best... I pulled Dimitri into the ring, just to get away from that teasing. I heard the half-elf has become relatively good in magic, and needed to fight someone who won't finish me off by accident. Every successful spell was draining me more and more. I tried to restrain myself to simplest, least energy-consuming spells, but this was insufficient. I had to pull energy from the pale blue gemmed rune that stuck to my neck... like a garrotte.

Energy flowed into me freely and fluidly, pale fire burning out the remaints of what was human in me. I summoned a rain of blazing meteors, and forced myself to shut down the connection. I don't want to dissolve... please... no... Dimitri tried to help me, but I knew well enough that an attempt to assist would kill him. Moving too close to me now would trigger spontaneous absorbtion... I shouldn't have experimented last night...

In the rings, Farek was fighting Melgarth, energy splashed into my face. I tried to control the hunger. When powerful spells were failing, my soul received bites of delicious power. Suddenly I sensed familiar spectral print... Shahai entered the Isle, and hunger was leaving pale traces in her aura.

Damn. Bloodspeaker. And I have not recovered yet. I watched her fight Farek, I watched the blood dagger slash first Dimitri and after that - the brigand... Anger, powerless anger and frustration filled me. When Shahai left, I asked Farek to allow me to help him. But I guess the brigand didn't wish anyone's aid! We threw around some insults, and he left for his tower.

I remained at the Isle, energy of the place slowly feeding me. Soon I shall go for a hunt. Hunger... this hunger and need to experiment are chasing me, forcing me to hunt... Hunger was making me lose control. If I surrender, I will no longer be myself... The pale blue rune will gladly provide me with energy to sate this hunger, but the price would be - dissolution.

[Rhaine]

I entered arena, looking for practice. However, looked like problems were looking for me instead. This brainless half-elf... Dimitri approached me, and tried to admit that he realizes I was correct all that time when I tried to talk him out of leaving the Guild and getting into the Temple. By Midnight, why do I ALWAYS have to be correct in the end, when someone bumps their nose on their mistakes? And in any case, I do not believe a single word from him anymore! I put up a mental shield, and submerged into my thoughts. Staying in the Guild was becoming harder and harder for me. Disappointment was taking over. I do not forgive insults, disgusted looks, and other kinds of idiocy that easily. If someone doesn't appreciate my friendship - so be it!

I admit, a do-gooder guildmember would have forgiven Dimitri his behavior instantly. But I'm myself, and not about to change in the nearest century.

I threw myself into dueling, slashing wildly... and forgetting about anything I learned. With all appropriate consequences.

[Rhaine]

More and more often I practice with my two blades. Two parts of my torn soul, Mercy of Llyrth and SoulDrinker, Crimson and Black. Deadly seriousness of SoulDrinker is countered by feather-light touch of Mercy, as they become more and more a part of me, final expression of myself. Death and Dread. I'm restoring my old abilities, but what can fill the emptiness draining my soul? The emptiness I have known once, the emptiness I abhor?

I'm sorry for Alais. Truly sorry for the elf that managed to become my friend. Elves live slowly, they are used to having eternity at their disposal, and even their ideals of afterlife are slow, tormenting, draining. I have spoken to Alais about their Greyhavens... brrrr! that was horrid. Peace, solitude and eternity?! I have had plenty of that!

I remembered the Halls of Creation. The milky whiteness in the absolute black. Peace... Silence... Memory... Solitude. Anything you wish - it's there. Just reach into the milky-white fog, and formulate the wish. I was alone. Dusky quartz of surveillance crystal was showing images of Lerdann - the world Shalafi and I have been experimenting with. The world I was bound to. I was floating in the ideal comfort of my lerdannian lab, feeling nothing - the joy of Creation has long become tasteless, I lost pain and sorrow... and only memory returned sometimes to remind me that I was more or less alive. Large white cocoons containing anything my imagination fancied and my intellect designed. Energy... endless energy I had no need for. Worse than death. Shadow of victory - deadly shadow.

Alais seems to long for their elven "afterlife". I wonder if the elves ever regret leaving the mortal world... after they realize what their afterlife is. By Midnight, I would prefer torment and insanity of violent evolution in Baator, fighting for incarnation into a more powerful form - instead of Halls of Creation. Instead of slow, painless dissolution.

Every day I play with fire - running between temptations, dueling and experimenting... Yet only this keeps me out of the milky whiteness, out of the Halls that would imprison me forever should I make a mistake... Forever is a very, very long time...

[Rhaine]

Memory comes to torture me every spare moment. Now as I work in the lab, I think of my past... of how I started to develop in the field that eventually led me into RhyDin, into constant attempts to escape from myself and my past. Shalafi and I left Clandestine, led by his ambitions and our mutual hunger for knowledge...

... I remember how my Shalafi and I met Darquan. We were in another world, travelling in search for knowledge. The world was a technology-oriented one, but there were still areas where nature remained untouched. We entered a such place and were surprised to find strange ruins...
A tall, dark-furred mrrshan rushed at us. Had we not been wearing mental shields, we would have been struck with a spell-like affect he seemed to have been using. However, our odd appearance did trigger his curiosity enough to stop the attack.

Darquan was a biodesigner. Initially he was a biochemist, and this smoothened the transition to the strange abilities he had come to possess. His initiation into binding was done by another biodesigner. And he initiated me. When the bindrune burned its way into my flesh, I screamed silently... the white gems pulsated like heartbeat. They will gain color when I become bound - that's how Darquan explained it.

Biodesigners are rare.... and our ability is our pain and our blessing. Gifted with understanding of Life, of its functionality and progress, we are bound to hunger for creation, for perfectioning and designing new forms. Darquan taught me the necessary skills, concepts that were strange for me - but needed if I wished to assist my Shalafi ... An explanation of what the binding is would take a long time, but it is necessary for a biodesigner activation.

Biodesigners advance as their skill increases with practice. Some of us remain in our natural bodies, and their experiments never lead to designing of magically active forms. Some of us modify ourselves to the point of unrecognizable, experiment with complex energy constructions - these start in magic-oriented worlds, and thus their minds are more open to such odd... concepts.

There are too few of us. The bonds of friendship between us are in the end the only thing that remains for us... Artemus Allon Kurgen murdered Darquan. I know now how it happened, Darquan didn't advance further and didn't drop the initial instincts of his race... he was territorial like all of his kind, he was protecting the gateway into his lab... Artemus happened to be lucky and have a spell that destroyed Darquan's bond to his corporeal form, Darquan exists now only as a print of his personality, and as he has never been into magic, he is unable to return.

My blood enemy, Artemus Allon Kurgen. I have given my word that I shall not kill you. But is simple death enough to feel all the torment of existance as a personality print or as it's called in magic worlds - spirit form?! of existance I have known and I have escaped?!

[Rhaine]

Vampiress sat quietly in the silence of her hideout. Large midnight-blue eyes were glowing softly, as her gentle fingers touched different places of a holographic image in front of her. The image responded in sequences of fluid changes. A slight, almost unseen gesture - and image returned to initial state, and more changes were applied, varying infinitely.

Sound was unneeded. Words were unneeded. Biodesigner of Lerdann was playing with potential variants of a spell... a game where life had no significance... only properties to be altered, added, modified... A game for a true perfectionist.

Suddenly an alarm sounded in the soft silver-and-black silence. Rhaine turned around, the fascination of the game fading from her face. Images of Annex filled space in the corner of the room. Emotionless as ever, she watched Daigotsu appear with a small squad of follwers.

"Finally this is getting interesting... "

No slightest shadow of feeling touched her face as she looked at the images, adjusted to her manner of seeing the world...

[Rhaine]

As the space warp opened before me, I could only grin triumphantly - for the accuracy was beyond what I was hoping to achieve. The guildhall that felt... full of his presence. I sensed his work in this orderly, accurate place... his way of doing everything.
A figure clad in dark robes walked into the room where the rift opened. Familiar face that I would have remembered even in death... I could only speak his name as I rushed to him. But... sheer surprise touched his features.
"Yes, that is my name. Who do I have the honor of meeting?"
I stepped back. I tried to remind him about the Temple... about the days when we were together in battle and our of it, but his face remained cold. Not a slightest hint of recognition.
"I would recommend you to leave, young lady, before I consider you an intruder," he spoke coldly, and familiar broadsword flashed in his hands. I stepped back. And the space warp dragged me in.