((Tied to the January Hunt))
"AAAAGUUUUUGHH!"
"STOP BITING ME! &*#@#$!!!"
"GRRRR I'm gonna tear your $%^&@ing tail off and $&@%$#!!$)*$%..."
"AHA! Gotchu now!!"
Snap!
The rat's neck snapped as the goblin got leverage on it, and squeezed the life out of it in a goblin bear-hug.
Tiredly, the rat-hunter clambered back to his feet, ooze and muck dripped off of him as he sloshed and sploshed his way back to the boat. "Stupid, stupid, rat creatures..."
The goblin heaved the rat over the side of the boat. Breathing heavily, and bleeding from multiple gashes and bites, he huffed for a few minutes, while leaning on the boat for support. It bobbed slightly in the water as the bugbear sitting in the boat munched away.
Skurj, finally recovered from the fight, grasped the edge of the boat and hauled himself over the side. "Right, that's ten giant rats. That's a pretty good haul for one night..." the goblin's eyes bugged out. "What the $*%^@#$!!! are you doin'!?!?!"
The massive bugbear sat in the middle of the boat. A rat tail was dangling from his mouth, as he munched and crunched on something that sounded suspiciously like bone. Crunch, crunch. A dribble of blood leaked from the corner of his mouth, down over his chin, and dripped onto a hairy chest. "Gronk gob 'ung-reee." Bits of bone and fur fell from his mouth as he answered. Munch, crunch, munch.
The flabbergasted goblin started jumping up and down in the front of the boat causing it to rock violently in the water. "Kronk! Those wuz loot! We wuz s'pposed to bring those back for reward! How many of them did..." you eat, he was going to ask, but the answer was obvious when Skurj looked to the bag sitting on the floor of the boat. It was as limp and flat as when they had started out that night.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
The goblin's screaming could be heard echoing all throughout the tunnels.
.
.
.
The bugbear's howls were not far behind.
Collecting Bounties...goblin style
Re: Collecting Bounties...goblin style
The goblin knelt in the front of the boat, searching the murky water for signs of movement. He held a net still below the surface, waiting for something to come close enough to catch. This was more of a challenge than it might have sounded. Goblins have the attention span...what was that noise? Oooh...shiny.
Kronk was sitting in the middle of the bottle. His bulk mostly kept the boat stable, regardless of what the goblin's movements were. He picked at his teeth and watched the goblin.
Skurj leaned in a little closer. Was that movement? With a quick yank, the goblin hauled the net, and its prize up over the side of the boat. It thrashed and fought. At least this time it wasn't a boot. Or a snake. Or a gator. The albino catfish flopped about while the goblin fought to both keep it from getting loose, but also getting it free of the next. "Stop moving, you stupid fish creature! I gotchu!" The giant catfish did not seem to share the same idea.
"Ok, Kronk, get the pot open and ready!" The goblin had wrestled the catfish just about free, and nodded to the bugbear who lift the lid off the pot. Just as the lid came up, the goblin tossed the catfish into the pot of water. "Alive, they sez. Alright, fine, but dead would'a been easier to do!"
The catfish, safely ensconced in the pot, the goblin grabbed his net back up and hopped back to the front of the boat. As the net went back into the water, the goblin glared back at the bugbear. "And remember. DO. NOT. EAT. THE. FISH. CREATURE!" And with that admonition, the goblin resumed his hunt.
Sploosh. The sounds of splashing in the water alerted the goblin. "Sounds like there might be another nearby! Quick, paddle us over that way!" Skurj pointed to the left. The tunnels might be dark to hummies, but this was home for goblins and their ilk. His infravision allowed the goblin to spot the heat of the fish (and other things) swimming around beneath the scummy surface of the water. No one was better suited to hunting cave and tunnel fish than goblins!
Patience. Patience. Occasionally, the goblin would listen. Not for the sounds of fish, but for the sounds of Kronk, to make sure he was not eating the fish. His eyes remained locked on the water, searching for signs of movement.
Another few minutes and the goblin saw a ripple of heat, and got ready. Closer, closer. Just a little closer. The fish seemed wary, it moved away. The goblin swore under his breath, "Magubliyet's balls, just swim into the net already!"
Finally, the catfish swam closer, and then poked its head into the net. SWISH! With an explosion of water, the goblin once more yanked the net out of the water and into the boat. The catfish thrashed wildly to get free. The goblin let go the handle of the net and pounced on the fish, using his weight to hold it down.
The fish was probably a third of the weight of the goblin, so the contest was not as easy as it might sound. The temptation to stab the fish was one the goblin had to fight with every breath. "Stop, fighting, stupid...stupid...fish creature!" Skurj wrestled his way on top and worked the fish slowly free of the net. "Get ready, Kronk!"
Quick as lightning, up went the lid, in went the fish. The goblin brushed his palms together, and shook his head. Water, and slime flew off of him. His clothes were completely drenched at this point. He dripped water, sloshed his way back to the front of the boat. "Hmmm...the pots gotta be pretty full by now..." Sploosh.
Skurj's head whipped back to the bugbear just in time to see the bugbear waving to the catfish it had just let go.
"AUAUUUUUUUGH! KRONK! WHAT ARE YOU DOING???" The goblin leapt forward and yanked the lid off the clay pot. Besides water, the pot was empty. "AUAAUUUUUUGGGHHHH!"
The bugbear looked abashed. "Boss said not to eat fish. Kronk not eat fish."
The goblin stared at the bugbear with murder in his eyes. "You let them go! YOU LET THEM GO! YOU. LET. THEM. GO!!!"
Kronk frowned. "No let go?"
The screaming went on for hours.
Kronk was sitting in the middle of the bottle. His bulk mostly kept the boat stable, regardless of what the goblin's movements were. He picked at his teeth and watched the goblin.
Skurj leaned in a little closer. Was that movement? With a quick yank, the goblin hauled the net, and its prize up over the side of the boat. It thrashed and fought. At least this time it wasn't a boot. Or a snake. Or a gator. The albino catfish flopped about while the goblin fought to both keep it from getting loose, but also getting it free of the next. "Stop moving, you stupid fish creature! I gotchu!" The giant catfish did not seem to share the same idea.
"Ok, Kronk, get the pot open and ready!" The goblin had wrestled the catfish just about free, and nodded to the bugbear who lift the lid off the pot. Just as the lid came up, the goblin tossed the catfish into the pot of water. "Alive, they sez. Alright, fine, but dead would'a been easier to do!"
The catfish, safely ensconced in the pot, the goblin grabbed his net back up and hopped back to the front of the boat. As the net went back into the water, the goblin glared back at the bugbear. "And remember. DO. NOT. EAT. THE. FISH. CREATURE!" And with that admonition, the goblin resumed his hunt.
Sploosh. The sounds of splashing in the water alerted the goblin. "Sounds like there might be another nearby! Quick, paddle us over that way!" Skurj pointed to the left. The tunnels might be dark to hummies, but this was home for goblins and their ilk. His infravision allowed the goblin to spot the heat of the fish (and other things) swimming around beneath the scummy surface of the water. No one was better suited to hunting cave and tunnel fish than goblins!
Patience. Patience. Occasionally, the goblin would listen. Not for the sounds of fish, but for the sounds of Kronk, to make sure he was not eating the fish. His eyes remained locked on the water, searching for signs of movement.
Another few minutes and the goblin saw a ripple of heat, and got ready. Closer, closer. Just a little closer. The fish seemed wary, it moved away. The goblin swore under his breath, "Magubliyet's balls, just swim into the net already!"
Finally, the catfish swam closer, and then poked its head into the net. SWISH! With an explosion of water, the goblin once more yanked the net out of the water and into the boat. The catfish thrashed wildly to get free. The goblin let go the handle of the net and pounced on the fish, using his weight to hold it down.
The fish was probably a third of the weight of the goblin, so the contest was not as easy as it might sound. The temptation to stab the fish was one the goblin had to fight with every breath. "Stop, fighting, stupid...stupid...fish creature!" Skurj wrestled his way on top and worked the fish slowly free of the net. "Get ready, Kronk!"
Quick as lightning, up went the lid, in went the fish. The goblin brushed his palms together, and shook his head. Water, and slime flew off of him. His clothes were completely drenched at this point. He dripped water, sloshed his way back to the front of the boat. "Hmmm...the pots gotta be pretty full by now..." Sploosh.
Skurj's head whipped back to the bugbear just in time to see the bugbear waving to the catfish it had just let go.
"AUAUUUUUUUGH! KRONK! WHAT ARE YOU DOING???" The goblin leapt forward and yanked the lid off the clay pot. Besides water, the pot was empty. "AUAAUUUUUUGGGHHHH!"
The bugbear looked abashed. "Boss said not to eat fish. Kronk not eat fish."
The goblin stared at the bugbear with murder in his eyes. "You let them go! YOU LET THEM GO! YOU. LET. THEM. GO!!!"
Kronk frowned. "No let go?"
The screaming went on for hours.
Re: Collecting Bounties...goblin style
Skurj was strapping himself into a harness attached to a long, thick rope as he instructed the bugbear. "Alright, here's the plan, you lower me down, via the rope, so that I can reach the wyvern nests." The goblin leaned out and pointed down. "When you get me close to the nest, keep me steady until I yell for you to pull me up. And then you pull me up REAL fast." The goblin reached out and grabbed the bugbear's chin to pull him down. "Ya' got that?"
Kronk nodded. "Kronk got it."
The goblin inched closer to the edge and peeked down. After scoping out the cliffs for a few hours, he was pretty sure there was a wyvern nest on a ledge right below this spot. It was hard to see, as the ledge was inset to the cliff, but they had seen several wyverns flying around this spot.
"Alright, lower me down slow," as the goblin edged himself over and started walking down the cliff. With little bounds and leaps, the goblin drifted and dropped down the face of the cliff approaching the spot where the ledge should be. "A little farther! A little farther!" Skurj could hear the sounds of hissing just below. Bingo! It was sure to be a nest. Why the goblin thought he could take on a nest of wyverns was a bit of a mystery, but goblins really don't think these things through.
Skurj had a harpoon in his hands as he leaned forward, almost inverted, as he peeked around the edge of the depression. Five sets of eyes all peered back at him. Five young wyverns, alerted by the sounds of the goblin scrabbling down the cliff, were eyeing the goblin with interest. Coiling and uncoiling around in the nest, the wyverns started climbing over each other to get a better look at the goblin. Tongues flicked out as they tasted the air. Still oblivious to the danger, the goblin eyed the closest wyvern and poked at it with the harpoon. The first couple of pokes missed the target, but the third landed. The harpoon poked the wyvern in the snout. The wyvern for its part yanked its head backwards and hissed angrily. All of the wyverns were hissing now. Whatever it was that had come peeking at their nest was now clearly considered a threat.
Skurj, always quick on the uptake (for a goblin), began to realize that maybe bearding the wyverns in their nest was not his best idea.
The wyverns were constrained by the small ledge. There really was not a way for them to climb the rocky cliff face. Skurj poked at them again, but he lacked the reach to implant the harpoon into one of them. They were fast and squirmy. After another moment, one of the wyverns got riled enough to slide off the ledge and into the air. It fell for a bit before its wings caught air. Then it soared down, gathering speed. As it turned, it caught an updraft and began soaring back up the cliff face. "Uh oh...I forgot they could fly."
Skurj let go of the harpoon and spun to grab the rope. "Pull me up! Pull me up!" The goblin shrieked at the top of his lungs. "Kronk, you worthless piece of cowhide, pull me up!"
The bugbear's head poked out over the cliff. "Wot?"
"AUGH! Kronk, pull me up! Pull me up!"
The shadow of the wyvern fell across the goblin before the draft of air hit him. The goblin spun free from the wall and he bounced hard against the cliff several times. "Augh, ack, ouch! Kronk, hurry!"
The wyvern had swooped past him, and Skurj could see it was gathering speed again getting ready to catch the next updraft.
And to make matters worse, a second wyvern was uncoiling towards the edge.
With a sharp yank the rope began moving upwards. "Faster! Faster!" Skurj rolled around a little helpless until he caught the rope. He kept one hand on the rope and pulled free a javelin from his back. At least he would not die without a weapon in his hand.
The wyvern soared up, gathering speed in the updraft, and roared past the goblin. Its tail lashed out, narrowly missing the goblin and scoring against the cliff. "AAAUUUGH!" The yell from the goblin was mirrored by a shriek from the wyvern. A second wyvern was now dropping down, wings unfurling as it fell away from the cliff and caught the air.
Kronk, invisible from below, was hauling the rope upward, lurch by lurch. The lurching movement probably saved the goblin's life. His body lurched upward just as the first wyvern swept by, the tail once again slashing outward and just below the gobin's feet. Bits of stone clattered downward disappearing into the canyon's depths. Skurj threw the javelin, the tip almost catching a wing, but the airspeed of the wyvern was too much. It swooped by, circling out.
"Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap..." the goblin was flailing about, trying to reach the next javelin before either of the wyverns in the air could reach him again. "Faster! Faster!"
The bugbear was yanking, and yanking, pulling the goblin, who bounced across the cliff face, "ooof, ouch," as fast as he could.
There was a shriek, and then an answering shriek as the two wyverns challenged each other.
The first wyvern considered the goblin his game, but the second wyvern wanted in. Their attention was on each other now. Wyverns are indiscriminate hunters. They have little loyalty towards each other. Even when they are nest-mates. The second wyvern, slightly smaller, dived at the other. For a moment, the goblin was not their focus.
The brief respite was enough. As the rope lurched up the final distance, Skurj grasped the edge of the cliff and hauled himself over. He collapsed just over the edge, breathing heavily.
Kronk continued pulling, and dragged the goblin further from the edge. Skurj spit and scrabbled. "Ok, ok, stop! I'm up!"
The goblin got back to his feet and turned back towards the canyon in time to see the two wyverns both soar up into the sky, circling in a dance of fury. They screamed at each other and swooped through the drafts, each angling for a killing position.
Skurj brushed himself off and unclasped the harness, letting it fall off his body. "I think we're gonna need a new plan."
Kronk nodded, "uh huh."
Kronk nodded. "Kronk got it."
The goblin inched closer to the edge and peeked down. After scoping out the cliffs for a few hours, he was pretty sure there was a wyvern nest on a ledge right below this spot. It was hard to see, as the ledge was inset to the cliff, but they had seen several wyverns flying around this spot.
"Alright, lower me down slow," as the goblin edged himself over and started walking down the cliff. With little bounds and leaps, the goblin drifted and dropped down the face of the cliff approaching the spot where the ledge should be. "A little farther! A little farther!" Skurj could hear the sounds of hissing just below. Bingo! It was sure to be a nest. Why the goblin thought he could take on a nest of wyverns was a bit of a mystery, but goblins really don't think these things through.
Skurj had a harpoon in his hands as he leaned forward, almost inverted, as he peeked around the edge of the depression. Five sets of eyes all peered back at him. Five young wyverns, alerted by the sounds of the goblin scrabbling down the cliff, were eyeing the goblin with interest. Coiling and uncoiling around in the nest, the wyverns started climbing over each other to get a better look at the goblin. Tongues flicked out as they tasted the air. Still oblivious to the danger, the goblin eyed the closest wyvern and poked at it with the harpoon. The first couple of pokes missed the target, but the third landed. The harpoon poked the wyvern in the snout. The wyvern for its part yanked its head backwards and hissed angrily. All of the wyverns were hissing now. Whatever it was that had come peeking at their nest was now clearly considered a threat.
Skurj, always quick on the uptake (for a goblin), began to realize that maybe bearding the wyverns in their nest was not his best idea.
The wyverns were constrained by the small ledge. There really was not a way for them to climb the rocky cliff face. Skurj poked at them again, but he lacked the reach to implant the harpoon into one of them. They were fast and squirmy. After another moment, one of the wyverns got riled enough to slide off the ledge and into the air. It fell for a bit before its wings caught air. Then it soared down, gathering speed. As it turned, it caught an updraft and began soaring back up the cliff face. "Uh oh...I forgot they could fly."
Skurj let go of the harpoon and spun to grab the rope. "Pull me up! Pull me up!" The goblin shrieked at the top of his lungs. "Kronk, you worthless piece of cowhide, pull me up!"
The bugbear's head poked out over the cliff. "Wot?"
"AUGH! Kronk, pull me up! Pull me up!"
The shadow of the wyvern fell across the goblin before the draft of air hit him. The goblin spun free from the wall and he bounced hard against the cliff several times. "Augh, ack, ouch! Kronk, hurry!"
The wyvern had swooped past him, and Skurj could see it was gathering speed again getting ready to catch the next updraft.
And to make matters worse, a second wyvern was uncoiling towards the edge.
With a sharp yank the rope began moving upwards. "Faster! Faster!" Skurj rolled around a little helpless until he caught the rope. He kept one hand on the rope and pulled free a javelin from his back. At least he would not die without a weapon in his hand.
The wyvern soared up, gathering speed in the updraft, and roared past the goblin. Its tail lashed out, narrowly missing the goblin and scoring against the cliff. "AAAUUUGH!" The yell from the goblin was mirrored by a shriek from the wyvern. A second wyvern was now dropping down, wings unfurling as it fell away from the cliff and caught the air.
Kronk, invisible from below, was hauling the rope upward, lurch by lurch. The lurching movement probably saved the goblin's life. His body lurched upward just as the first wyvern swept by, the tail once again slashing outward and just below the gobin's feet. Bits of stone clattered downward disappearing into the canyon's depths. Skurj threw the javelin, the tip almost catching a wing, but the airspeed of the wyvern was too much. It swooped by, circling out.
"Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap..." the goblin was flailing about, trying to reach the next javelin before either of the wyverns in the air could reach him again. "Faster! Faster!"
The bugbear was yanking, and yanking, pulling the goblin, who bounced across the cliff face, "ooof, ouch," as fast as he could.
There was a shriek, and then an answering shriek as the two wyverns challenged each other.
The first wyvern considered the goblin his game, but the second wyvern wanted in. Their attention was on each other now. Wyverns are indiscriminate hunters. They have little loyalty towards each other. Even when they are nest-mates. The second wyvern, slightly smaller, dived at the other. For a moment, the goblin was not their focus.
The brief respite was enough. As the rope lurched up the final distance, Skurj grasped the edge of the cliff and hauled himself over. He collapsed just over the edge, breathing heavily.
Kronk continued pulling, and dragged the goblin further from the edge. Skurj spit and scrabbled. "Ok, ok, stop! I'm up!"
The goblin got back to his feet and turned back towards the canyon in time to see the two wyverns both soar up into the sky, circling in a dance of fury. They screamed at each other and swooped through the drafts, each angling for a killing position.
Skurj brushed himself off and unclasped the harness, letting it fall off his body. "I think we're gonna need a new plan."
Kronk nodded, "uh huh."
Re: Collecting Bounties...goblin style
The bugbear walked in on the goblin packing a bag with knives, and spikes, and rope. "Right...lots of rope...lots and lots of rope." Skurj was stuffing long lengths of rope into the bag. Good thick rope. "Where did I leave those harpoons?" The goblin bounced around the room pulling open trunks and chests, throwing stuff all about in his search for gear.
The bugbear for his part stood near the door watching. "We'z goin' huntin' again?"
"Yes, the hummies want more o' them wyverns."
"Oh," responded the bugbear.
"Gonna be prepared this time." The goblin was shoving bear-traps into a bag that was getting bigger and bigger. "Gimme that roll of bailing wire," the goblin commanded Kronk.
"Okay." The bugbear picked up the roll of bailing wire and flipped it towards the goblin.
Skurj had the presence of mind to turn and look just before the roll, somewhat bigger than the goblin, arrived. In retrospect, the goblin realized the error of his command. The bailing wire was only loosely bound up. As it struck the goblin, it immediately unraveled. Unraveled all around the goblin, lashing his flesh, and spilling out all over the floor.
The goblin, enmeshed in bailing wire, struggled to escape. "KRONK! When I get free of this, I am gonna carve the flesh off your bones and feed ya to the rats!" The goblin thrashed about, making little progress of getting free. "Kronk! Get this wire off'a me!!!"
Kronk, either unable to connect freeing the goblin with losing his flesh, or unconcerned with the goblin's threats, lumbered forwards and grabbed an armful of the wire. The bugbear hauled on the wire and began winding it back around a large wooden spindle. The goblin bounced about as wire was yanked in every which direction. "OW! OOO! Yowch! Watch it!"
"Okay," the bugbear replied, but then continued just as he had, rewinding the bailing wire. Then the bugbear had a thought. "Hey, Skurj! 'Member dat time you flew up inna kite ta get da wyverns?"
The goblin was struggling to keep from getting wound up on the spindle, "Ow! I don't wanna talk about it."
The bugbear giggled. "That was fun, huh, Skurj. There you wuz up in the air, and all those wyverns came up to play wit you."
"I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT!"
The bugbear for his part stood near the door watching. "We'z goin' huntin' again?"
"Yes, the hummies want more o' them wyverns."
"Oh," responded the bugbear.
"Gonna be prepared this time." The goblin was shoving bear-traps into a bag that was getting bigger and bigger. "Gimme that roll of bailing wire," the goblin commanded Kronk.
"Okay." The bugbear picked up the roll of bailing wire and flipped it towards the goblin.
Skurj had the presence of mind to turn and look just before the roll, somewhat bigger than the goblin, arrived. In retrospect, the goblin realized the error of his command. The bailing wire was only loosely bound up. As it struck the goblin, it immediately unraveled. Unraveled all around the goblin, lashing his flesh, and spilling out all over the floor.
The goblin, enmeshed in bailing wire, struggled to escape. "KRONK! When I get free of this, I am gonna carve the flesh off your bones and feed ya to the rats!" The goblin thrashed about, making little progress of getting free. "Kronk! Get this wire off'a me!!!"
Kronk, either unable to connect freeing the goblin with losing his flesh, or unconcerned with the goblin's threats, lumbered forwards and grabbed an armful of the wire. The bugbear hauled on the wire and began winding it back around a large wooden spindle. The goblin bounced about as wire was yanked in every which direction. "OW! OOO! Yowch! Watch it!"
"Okay," the bugbear replied, but then continued just as he had, rewinding the bailing wire. Then the bugbear had a thought. "Hey, Skurj! 'Member dat time you flew up inna kite ta get da wyverns?"
The goblin was struggling to keep from getting wound up on the spindle, "Ow! I don't wanna talk about it."
The bugbear giggled. "That was fun, huh, Skurj. There you wuz up in the air, and all those wyverns came up to play wit you."
"I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT!"
Re: Collecting Bounties...goblin style
The goblin was standing on a stool so that he could reach the top of the table. Spread out on the table was a map of the Underground. Skurj was busy marking down Xs wherever he thought there might be nests of rock scorpions. They probably hid under rocks, right? So the goblin marked down all the places he could remember seeing lots of loose rocks in the cellars and tunnels. A couple places were underwater, so the goblin didn't mark those. Scorpions could not swim right? That's why they rode frogs. So far, he had marked a lot of places to look. This was going to take a LONG time.
The goblin was scratching his head, disturbing the fleas trying to sleep there, when the bugbear came in. "Hiya Skurj."
Skurj jumped down from the stool and bounded over to the bugbear. "What took you so long, Kronk! I'm hungry!"
The bugbear looked apologetic. Or...that's what the expression might have meant. It's hard to tell with the tusks and teeth of bugbears what any look meant. Most of their expressions looked hungry. Regardless, the goblin took it as a reproachful look. As the bugbear set down the bucket, the goblin poked his hand into it and grabbed for dinner. "OW!!! What the...???" Skurj pulled his hand back out and found a scorpion attached to his thumb via pincer. "OW!!!" The goblin shook his hand vigorously to shake off the scorpion.
Kronk watched the goblin, and absently reached into the bucket and pulled out a scorpion. The bugbear plopped it straight into his mouth, except for the stinger. The bugbear held the scorpion by the tail just behind the stinger and pulled it off as he munched the not-quite-dead-yet-ok-now-it's-dead scorpion. The bugbear flicked the stinger away and continued to watch Skurj flailing about.
"Ow! Get this thing off me! Ow! Don't sting me! You stupid stupid scorpion!! OW!!!"
The bugbear grabbed another wriggling scorpion from the bucket and, like the first, plopped it into his mouth. Munch, crunch, munch, crunch. Kronk sat beside the bucket, watching Skurj dance about.
"Live scorpions! You brought home live scorpions for dinner!" "Ow! Get off me!" But the scorpion was determined to hang on, pincer clasped tight about the goblin's thumb as it thrashed about trying to get a second pincer hold.
The bugbear nodded, but the goblin was not looking. "Dey best dat way. Still fresh."
"OW! What kinda scorpion is this anyway! Why won't it let go???" The goblin beat his hand against the wall trying to get the scorpion free. This seemed to annoy the scorpion.
Munch, crunch, munch, "rog gorp'n" the bugbear responded around a mouthful of scorpion.
"What???" Skurj pulled a knife from his belt so that he could stab the scorpion.
Kronk swallowed. "Rock scorpion. Dey are da best."
The goblin blanched. "What???" He took his eyes off the scorpion for a moment and glared at Kronk. The scorpion took the repreive and dashed over the goblin's hand and up the sleeve of his jacket.
"Oh, yeah, um...don' let 'em sting you. Dey hurts."
Skurj's scream could be heard several blocks away.
The goblin was scratching his head, disturbing the fleas trying to sleep there, when the bugbear came in. "Hiya Skurj."
Skurj jumped down from the stool and bounded over to the bugbear. "What took you so long, Kronk! I'm hungry!"
The bugbear looked apologetic. Or...that's what the expression might have meant. It's hard to tell with the tusks and teeth of bugbears what any look meant. Most of their expressions looked hungry. Regardless, the goblin took it as a reproachful look. As the bugbear set down the bucket, the goblin poked his hand into it and grabbed for dinner. "OW!!! What the...???" Skurj pulled his hand back out and found a scorpion attached to his thumb via pincer. "OW!!!" The goblin shook his hand vigorously to shake off the scorpion.
Kronk watched the goblin, and absently reached into the bucket and pulled out a scorpion. The bugbear plopped it straight into his mouth, except for the stinger. The bugbear held the scorpion by the tail just behind the stinger and pulled it off as he munched the not-quite-dead-yet-ok-now-it's-dead scorpion. The bugbear flicked the stinger away and continued to watch Skurj flailing about.
"Ow! Get this thing off me! Ow! Don't sting me! You stupid stupid scorpion!! OW!!!"
The bugbear grabbed another wriggling scorpion from the bucket and, like the first, plopped it into his mouth. Munch, crunch, munch, crunch. Kronk sat beside the bucket, watching Skurj dance about.
"Live scorpions! You brought home live scorpions for dinner!" "Ow! Get off me!" But the scorpion was determined to hang on, pincer clasped tight about the goblin's thumb as it thrashed about trying to get a second pincer hold.
The bugbear nodded, but the goblin was not looking. "Dey best dat way. Still fresh."
"OW! What kinda scorpion is this anyway! Why won't it let go???" The goblin beat his hand against the wall trying to get the scorpion free. This seemed to annoy the scorpion.
Munch, crunch, munch, "rog gorp'n" the bugbear responded around a mouthful of scorpion.
"What???" Skurj pulled a knife from his belt so that he could stab the scorpion.
Kronk swallowed. "Rock scorpion. Dey are da best."
The goblin blanched. "What???" He took his eyes off the scorpion for a moment and glared at Kronk. The scorpion took the repreive and dashed over the goblin's hand and up the sleeve of his jacket.
"Oh, yeah, um...don' let 'em sting you. Dey hurts."
Skurj's scream could be heard several blocks away.
Re: Collecting Bounties...goblin style
The goblin poked his head into the bugbear's lair. "Hey, you know where to find spiders?"
Kronk was tending to something in the corner of the room, so he had his back turned to the goblin. "Kronk like spiders."
"Yes, yes, I know! That's why I asked if you knew where to find 'em! There's a bounty on the web stuff from the crystal ones." Skurj looked around the room, it was full of broken bones, old rags, and forgotten weapons that lay strewn about without care. The goblin did not visit the bugbear often. Adventuring parties came by entirely too often trying to score something called EXPEE. Why they wanted EXPEE, and why they thought the bugbear had it, the goblin did not know.
Kronk turned, stepping on something that crunched under his foot. He was petting something in his arms. "Kronk know. Kronk know lots of spiders. Kronk like spiders."
"Yes, yes, so let's go find some spiders and grab some of this webby stuff we can turn in." The goblin was surprised that the bugbear had a pet. Maybe it was lunch he was keeping for later.
"Webby stuff?" the bugbear made a face. Quizzical? It can be hard to tell with bugbears. Tusks and teeth and all.
"Yeah! Yeah! Webby stuff! You know! The sticky stuff that spiders hang out in!"
The bugbear made another face. Your guess is as good as mine.
"Spiders! Webs! Moolah! Let's go!" Skurj was getting irritated.
Kronk turned away and reached out to the pile of stuff behind him and pulled a handful of white thread-like stuff free. "Webby stuff?"
The goblin did a double take. Then bounded forward, checking for traps once or twice as he crossed the room. Skurj peered at the ball of white threads. He poked at it and some of it stuck to his fingers. "Webs? Why do you have webs in your lair..." the goblin's voice trailed off as he was standing close enough to see what Kronk was holding on his arm. A crystalline spider was cooing, snuggled in the crook of the bugbear's arm. Its eyes were all focused on the goblin.
The goblin shrieked and leapt backwards, drawing a knife. "You keep a spider as a pet?!?" The spider hissed at Skurj and crawled up to the bugbear's shoulder. Skurj glared at the spider. The spider glared back.
Kronk made a face. "Sparkle no like Skurj."
Kronk was tending to something in the corner of the room, so he had his back turned to the goblin. "Kronk like spiders."
"Yes, yes, I know! That's why I asked if you knew where to find 'em! There's a bounty on the web stuff from the crystal ones." Skurj looked around the room, it was full of broken bones, old rags, and forgotten weapons that lay strewn about without care. The goblin did not visit the bugbear often. Adventuring parties came by entirely too often trying to score something called EXPEE. Why they wanted EXPEE, and why they thought the bugbear had it, the goblin did not know.
Kronk turned, stepping on something that crunched under his foot. He was petting something in his arms. "Kronk know. Kronk know lots of spiders. Kronk like spiders."
"Yes, yes, so let's go find some spiders and grab some of this webby stuff we can turn in." The goblin was surprised that the bugbear had a pet. Maybe it was lunch he was keeping for later.
"Webby stuff?" the bugbear made a face. Quizzical? It can be hard to tell with bugbears. Tusks and teeth and all.
"Yeah! Yeah! Webby stuff! You know! The sticky stuff that spiders hang out in!"
The bugbear made another face. Your guess is as good as mine.
"Spiders! Webs! Moolah! Let's go!" Skurj was getting irritated.
Kronk turned away and reached out to the pile of stuff behind him and pulled a handful of white thread-like stuff free. "Webby stuff?"
The goblin did a double take. Then bounded forward, checking for traps once or twice as he crossed the room. Skurj peered at the ball of white threads. He poked at it and some of it stuck to his fingers. "Webs? Why do you have webs in your lair..." the goblin's voice trailed off as he was standing close enough to see what Kronk was holding on his arm. A crystalline spider was cooing, snuggled in the crook of the bugbear's arm. Its eyes were all focused on the goblin.
The goblin shrieked and leapt backwards, drawing a knife. "You keep a spider as a pet?!?" The spider hissed at Skurj and crawled up to the bugbear's shoulder. Skurj glared at the spider. The spider glared back.
Kronk made a face. "Sparkle no like Skurj."
Re: Collecting Bounties...goblin style
"We should hurry. Momma is gonna come back soon." The nervous bugbear fidgeted, searching back along the path of destruction that led directly away from the nest before glancing back up to the nest where the goblin was busily trying to wrestle a hatchling.
"Ow, ow! Stop biting me!" The goblin bit the hatchling back, which of course caused it to scream louder. Kronk could see the goblin at the edge of the nest, pushing at the hatchling while also trying to strangle it into silence.
"She's gonna be mad..." the bugbear fretted.
Finally the hatchling, awkward and still mostly blind, fell over the side of the nest and towards the bugbear. Kronk frantically caught it before it hit the ground. "AHH! Kronk save you!"
The hatchling screamed, disoriented by the fall and unable to find its mother.
Above, still in the nest, the goblin was swearing in goblinish, a language well known for its colorfully descriptive variety of obscene words. "Stupid [obscenity left untranslated] egg! Ugh."
Kronk did his best to soothe the tiny dragon. The bugbear fished out live scorpions from his lunchpail and hastily crunched them up before offering them to the hatchling. Distracted by the food, the hatchling gobbled up the scorpion mash, and paused in its screaming.
"Heads up!" the goblin yelled a moment before he pushed an egg over the side of the nest.
The bugbear panicked, unable to catch the egg and keep hold of the hatchling at the same time. The hatchling dropped to the ground, making an indignant scream. The bugbear leaned over the dragonette protectively, catching the egg just barely. Kronk looked up. Skurj was peering over the side. "Got 'em?"
The hatchling started searching for more food, and nipped at the lunchpail, biting the bugbear as often as the lunchpail. "We better go, Skurj!"
"Yeah, yeah, lemme search this nest for loot first! Who knows, there might be good stuff in here leftover from other hunters." The goblin seemed to take no warning from the idea as he rummaged around in the nest. "Oh hey, lotta bones up here..."
In the distance, the bugbear could a roar. "We gotta go, Skurj!" Glancing back along the ogre-plus-giant-sized path smashed through the trees, Kronk thought he could see a brilliant red streak. "GAH! SKURJ!!!" The bugbear's nerve broke and Kronk dashed back into the brush and foliage, precariously juggling an egg and likewise trying to keep the hatchling in front of him.
The goblin was tossing bone and fragments of armor out of the nest. "Wow...this stuff is trashed! There's gotta be something..." Skurj was too distracted to hear the whoosh as the rose dragon soared back to the nest to protect the rest of its young.
It's not clear who was more surprised. The dragon, at seeing a goblin raiding its nest, or the goblin seeing the massive rose dragon hovering overhead. They both screamed.
"Ow, ow! Stop biting me!" The goblin bit the hatchling back, which of course caused it to scream louder. Kronk could see the goblin at the edge of the nest, pushing at the hatchling while also trying to strangle it into silence.
"She's gonna be mad..." the bugbear fretted.
Finally the hatchling, awkward and still mostly blind, fell over the side of the nest and towards the bugbear. Kronk frantically caught it before it hit the ground. "AHH! Kronk save you!"
The hatchling screamed, disoriented by the fall and unable to find its mother.
Above, still in the nest, the goblin was swearing in goblinish, a language well known for its colorfully descriptive variety of obscene words. "Stupid [obscenity left untranslated] egg! Ugh."
Kronk did his best to soothe the tiny dragon. The bugbear fished out live scorpions from his lunchpail and hastily crunched them up before offering them to the hatchling. Distracted by the food, the hatchling gobbled up the scorpion mash, and paused in its screaming.
"Heads up!" the goblin yelled a moment before he pushed an egg over the side of the nest.
The bugbear panicked, unable to catch the egg and keep hold of the hatchling at the same time. The hatchling dropped to the ground, making an indignant scream. The bugbear leaned over the dragonette protectively, catching the egg just barely. Kronk looked up. Skurj was peering over the side. "Got 'em?"
The hatchling started searching for more food, and nipped at the lunchpail, biting the bugbear as often as the lunchpail. "We better go, Skurj!"
"Yeah, yeah, lemme search this nest for loot first! Who knows, there might be good stuff in here leftover from other hunters." The goblin seemed to take no warning from the idea as he rummaged around in the nest. "Oh hey, lotta bones up here..."
In the distance, the bugbear could a roar. "We gotta go, Skurj!" Glancing back along the ogre-plus-giant-sized path smashed through the trees, Kronk thought he could see a brilliant red streak. "GAH! SKURJ!!!" The bugbear's nerve broke and Kronk dashed back into the brush and foliage, precariously juggling an egg and likewise trying to keep the hatchling in front of him.
The goblin was tossing bone and fragments of armor out of the nest. "Wow...this stuff is trashed! There's gotta be something..." Skurj was too distracted to hear the whoosh as the rose dragon soared back to the nest to protect the rest of its young.
It's not clear who was more surprised. The dragon, at seeing a goblin raiding its nest, or the goblin seeing the massive rose dragon hovering overhead. They both screamed.
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