el nunca visto

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el nunca visto

Post by Delahada » Wed Mar 20, 2019 3:55 pm

Wednesday. March 20, 2019
- quince años

Another year has passed, and more. The last I saw of you was in February, and then not again. I should be used to this by now. Being used to the pain doesn’t make it hurt any less, though. And yet, I’ve become exceptionally good at numbing it.

This morning I wake to stillness. The sun reaches over the horizon and spreads its warm fingers through the windows of my domain. There is so much quiet. Madre is still sleeping. She will not rise from her slumber until much later, closer to dusk this year.

The rest of my realm is deep in slumber as well. I’m always the first to wake. They don’t start to stir until long after I do. Perhaps in some ways then I am their sun. A distant star that spreads cold instead of warmth. And they thrive in this world, my world.

There is something different about this year. I can feel it though put no name to it. The lines are a little sharper, the air a little more crisp. Every single cell in my body tingles. As I breathe, in and out, I can feel the borders of my domain stretch and shrink. The edges ebb like ocean tides. I can nearly hear them.

Or, at least, I hear the echo of Cane’s beach miles and miles away. The scent of the sea still clings to his skin no matter how many nights we spend elsewhere. His salt and his fire lure me closer, and I turn to slide my body over his. There’s a hunger in me first thing this morning, and I wake him to help me feed it. He doesn’t mind. In fact, he quite relishes it.

I refuse to shower after, but we do share an actual breakfast. Two hungers satisfied. At least temporarily.

My skin hasn’t stopped buzzing, though.

Walking the garden paths along the roof, I skim my fingers over leaves and branches. They shrivel and crack under my touch, shrinking to dust that peppers the soil. My Dama whispers to me, guiding my hand to this which needs pruned and that which needs plucked. It takes very little effort on my part.

When my Cajun finds me for lunch, he brings me something else as well. He’ll never call it a gift. He knows how celebrating makes me uncomfortable. I can’t help but smile, though, touching the carefully chiseled obsidian edge. Sharp as a razor blade, perhaps more.

“Te amo,” I tell him. I thank him without words.

Madre will be waking soon. I need to prepare for her. Reluctantly, after this time, I shower.

Spring is here, another one without you. I miss you. I always miss you. Dónde estás, mi alma? Espero que estés bien. Te amo también. Siempre. Siempre y siempre.
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Re: el nunca visto

Post by Delahada » Wed Mar 27, 2019 9:58 pm

Wednesday. March 27, 2019
- spit and scales

My Cajun met my crocodile today.

Gallo has grown quite a lot since my songbird gifted him to me. I’ve lost track of the number of years. Three, I think. However long it’s been does not seem to matter. Time has no meaning here. A day could be a decade. He’s grown enough to think and speak, question and wonder, shift as much as swim.

He climbed up the ladder from the basement while we were fixing breakfast. Probably the scent of bacon lured him. That and the sunlight he hasn’t seen much of since I took him in.

Cane dropped the frying pan when he spotted him standing at the windows.

Amant?” he asked me. “Why is there a naked man in your living room?”

“Trying on a man’s skin,” I answered.

Of course, my Cajun did not understand. It took me a minute to remember. The way I think is different from so many others. And I don’t think I ever told him about my crocodile, beyond taking him down and setting him loose in the underground rivers beneath Matadero.

“Oh,” I said, when it occurred to me -- especially when I realized Cane was staring at me, gawking expectantly for further explanation. “Canaan. This is Gallo,” I said, gesturing to the bare backside of the man standing in my living room.

At the sound of his name, Gallo turned to face us and let the sun warm his spine. He is tall now, all muscle and beard in human form, a man grown much like I was. What is age but a concept of time? And time has no meaning.

“Gallo,” Cane repeated dully. And then it clicked. “Gallo? The ‘gator Aoife gave you a couple years ago?”

“Crocodile,” I corrected him gently. Not that the man on the other side of the kitchen island seemed to take offense. Gallo merely scratched his beard, grunted, and then pointed at the small pool of grease and scattered bacon on the floor. “Sí, you may have some,” I told the creature.

Cane backed up as Gallo stepped forward and knelt down. He continued gawking while the naked man scooped up bacon with his bare hands and ate from the floor. After a moment of stunned disbelief, my Cajun shook his head and turned to stomp up the stairs, grumbling something about getting the man some damn clothes. I tried not to smile.

“And get him a plate!” my Cajun shouted from above. This time I couldn’t help but snicker.

“S’a plate?” Gallo asked, mouth full of bacon. I handed him one by way of explanation. I can’t say I was exactly surprised that he tried to take a bite out of it as well.

We did dress him. He fit Cane’s clothes better than my own. My Cajun insisted on trimming his hair and his beard so that he looked a little less wild, too. Gallo’s only complaint was that, as he said, “Man hair itches.” I don’t think he much minded being groomed.

Now that the weather is getting warmer, I suspect he will come upstairs more. I’ve tasked Dead Cat with guiding him through the tunnels so he can find his way around better. There are many rocks along the river I think that he’ll enjoy. By giving him freedom to explore the grounds I hope that there will be less surprise visits to my living room. Not that he’s unwelcome there, but I think my Cajun finds his presence unsettling.
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Re: el nunca visto

Post by Delahada » Mon Apr 15, 2019 5:03 pm

Monday. April 15, 2019
- emergency

“There are just some times when the wounds are a rubbed a little raw.”

Elessaria’s words have haunted me for days. Sometimes people say things that cut too close to the core. They stick with me. I think I’ll shake them for a couple of days, especially when I’m drowning in distractions -- my poor Cajun; he tries. Then the quiet comes and it all comes flooding back over me.

I don’t know how long I’ve been out this time. I’m pretty sure the sun had risen last I checked. I barely remember what I was doing. I think I showered. I must have eaten. Cane left for work and then…

Time escaped me.

I’m startled awake by a bearded figure looming over me.

“Hey,” he says gruffly. I know that voice. It takes a little longer for my vision to clear and see him completely. Tall and broad and scruffy. Cane cut his hair but it still hangs in his face. I’m not sure he’s figured out how to use a comb on his own yet. “You okay, boss?”

“Gallo.” I can barely hear my own voice. No doubt he strains to hear me as well. Clearing my throat, I jam an elbow against the couch cushion beneath me and sit up slowly, groaning. “What day is it?”

I should have known better than to ask him. He looks at me blankly and scratches his beard. Time is a concept he hasn’t mastered any better than a comb. So I try something else.


He rises. I forgot how tall he is. And only now I realize he had been sitting on the coffee table. I push myself even more upright as he moves to the left and heads into the kitchen. After scrubbing my hands over my face I look out the windows. The sun is no longer pouring in through the glass, which means it must be after noon now.

Gallo returns, handing me my phone. I must have left it on the kitchen island after breakfast. The lock screen tells me it’s Monday, about half past three. A rush of relief escapes my lungs. I didn’t lose a whole day, not even half of one. That’s better than some days.

He sits back down on the edge of the coffee table across from me and stares.

“What is it?” I ask.

“Nila needs clothes,” he tells me. Right to the point. I like that about him.

“Who the fuck is Nila?” There’s something familiar about that name but I just can’t quite grasp it.

Gallo grumbles a sigh and says, “Princess.”

“Oh.” Then it clicks. Along with another thing. Before long there’s a domino effect of connections going off in my head. Surprise washes over me and I sit up straighter. “Oh.” I can feel the lift of my brows. I look slowly around the room. Gallo nods, his eyes focused on a spot behind me, and I twist on the sofa to look. I can just barely see a shock of white hair and pale skin peeking around the door frame of the bathroom.

We stare at each other, her through the one eye I can see and my own eyes wide. I hadn’t expected this.

“Huh!” With an abrupt shake of my head I twist back to regard Gallo. I’m pretty sure she’s not going to appreciate me ogling her bare shoulder, which is all of her I can see without getting up.

Gallo continues to stare at me, waiting expectantly.

“Shit,” I tell my crocodile. “I don’t have women’s clothes.” I doubt there are any in Rekah’s room; she hardly ever wears any. I rack my brain. Who can I call? I don’t think she’ll fit anything my songbird owns. There’s only one other woman who comes to mind. Even though she won’t fit her clothes either, it’s probably my best solution.

“I know,” I tell Gallo, who is still only staring at me. Waiting.

I fucking hate making phone calls, but this is probably an emergency. The phone seems to ring forever. I’m starting to wonder if I have the right number in my contacts. Then she answers. She sounds breathless. Panicked, even.

“Where do you need me? Is everything okay? Who’s hurt?”

“Uh.” Honestly, I’m not surprised she thinks armageddon is happening. I never call people. “No. It’s none of those things. Listen, I need some clothes.”

“Oh.” She is silent for a moment too long. “Wait, what?”

“Clothes,” I repeat. “Women’s clothes. I don’t have any and I need some.”

“Um… okay.”

Then I realize there’s misconception happening and I groan. “Not for me! There’s a girl here and she needs some clothes.”

“Hey, I wasn’t gonna judge! Though, I’m not sure if you could fit into my hot pants to be honest so it’s probably better it’s for someone else. What do you need?”

It’s hard not to grin. She can probably hear it in my voice, even though I try to wash it out with seriousness. I even clear my throat. Gallo is still staring. I’m not sure he even knows what funny is.

“I don’t think she’ll be able to fit in your hot pants either, actually. Do you have anything for taller women?”

“Yeah, I do own some longer dresses. A few. At least one. And I can raid Sapphire’s closet too. Kid has a few inches on me. You need them now?”

“That would be great.” Yes, to everything. I can’t check the time on my phone since I’m talking on it. I turn to look back at the bathroom. She’s still peering at me through her hair. “Yeah. Probably sooner rather than later.”

“Kay. I’ll go grab some stuff now and be over in a little while.” She pauses and is clearly smirking when she asks, “Sure you don’t want me to bring a pair of hot pants for you? Maybe a cute mini dress?”

If only she could hear me rolling my eyes through the phone. “Thank you, Jewell. See you soon.” I end the call before she can say anything else. I do owe her though.

I’ll start by making some coffee. We could all probably use some, with some liquor in it.

( With special thanks to Jewell Ravenlock for bit part assist. )
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