Heathen

“On these magic shores children at play are for ever beaching their coracles. We too have been there; we can still hear the sound of the surf, though we shall land no more.” - J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

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Morgan LaFey
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Re: Heathen

Post by Morgan LaFey » Thu Nov 12, 2020 8:08 am

Wednesday, October 11 2020


Crew was on edge for the first part of the hunt… the giant beast was waiting for us in the mouth of the reef. Another couple of fish, and it seemed happy to follow along. Most of the crew won't trust it. I figure if it hasn't broken us in half by now…


I think I'll call it Squilliam.


I want to try to communicate with it. Obviously… it's smart enough to protect a snack dispenser.
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Re: Heathen

Post by Morgan LaFey » Fri Nov 13, 2020 3:57 am

Thursday, Oct 12 2020

Today was uneventful and calm. Two more days of quiet sailing, as long as we don't hit any storms. The clues point to an island "wreathed in smoke belched from the very belly of earth".

I don't think it will be too hard to spot a volcano. I should probably buy star charts? Some of these entries sound like complete garbage, but Bosun recognizes a few constellations. I barely know the dippers back home.

I'll get one tomorrow. Maybe bring back some better fish. Somehow.

For now, a couch is calling me.
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Re: Heathen

Post by Morgan LaFey » Sat Nov 14, 2020 9:45 am

Friday, October 13th 2020

We have our star charts, and just in time. If we went the right way, we should see some volcanoes soon. If they’re not blowing their tops, I want to try to get on the island. Get some glass. I think I figured out the lovers. Always reaching, never able to touch. They’re not right next to each other. I was reading wrong. The second part says to sail through the thing that parts them. There’s a constellation right there in the middle. I probably had everyone thinking I’d gone nuts when I figured it out. My room is covered in charts, and I probably look like the weirdest detective. All I’m missing is strings and post-it notes. Post-it notes would actually have been super helpful. I need to get some, I guess. Probably not. My luck, I get them and never use them.

I met someone yesterday that made me think. I’ve never been great at handling my life, and here I am with a plate full of shit that I’m now wondering if I can even eat. Not that I’m not hungry. I’m always hungry. I always want more. Is that really all that bad? I want to be more. I want to be better. I want to prove I’m not [scratched out] what he said I was.

My ship, my crew, my friends. I want the same for them. I want them to never be hungry. I like when we land in a port, and they go off and get into trouble and drink and buy things to send home. Perfumes, jewels… I’ve even seen an expensive doll get packaged up so carefully it couldn’t break if you dropped it from the Empire State building. I made sure extra clothes got put in. Just in case. He doesn’t know. I try not to pry… Some people are here because they had nothing else. Nobody else. The Heathen is their family.

My team. I wanted to give back what I got from the duels. Friends. Belonging. A way to take out my frustration. Feel like I have some control over something. I am not the only one. I see people hovering at the edge, scared to dip in a toe. Watching. I just wanted to give a little push. Chae has been super helpful with advice, and really kind to the new people. Our team ain’t half bad, either. Shelby is a mechanic and pilot. She’s got arms like rope. She looks skinny, but she’s got weight. Scarlett is my math expert. She helps me understand the odds, and other things that normally make my brain melt. She’s patient, which helps. Chae has always been good at punching. And being punched. He doesn’t complain, and he’s quick to let me know when I’m about to fuck up. Raz is… Fucking terrifying. I’ve watched him for months. At first just to look… (Have you seen him without a shirt? Fuck.) He knows what he’s doing. And he’s getting the hang of “fighting for sport.” Then there’s Azriella. She’s so nice, and seems really experienced. Doesn’t hurt she’s a fucking werewolf. Apparently. Found that out when she ended up fighting an ogre.

Fuck, RhyDin is weird, isn’t it?

My plate is full. For now, I’m okay with that. Because I know no matter what, after I eat, there will always be dessert. Something warm to hold with both hands, something I can curl up with and eat quietly. My life is so much chaos, but not then. Muffins are comfort, and calm, and reassurance. It’s movie nights and matching pajamas (Imagine sleeping in an entire outfit on purpose, right?!) and finally being able to drop everything at the door so I can just be myself.

Not Captain. Not Former Keeper. Not Pirate. My past can’t follow me here. There is only right now, and all the tomorrows. Tomorrows I’m starting to actually look forward to.
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Re: Heathen

Post by Morgan LaFey » Mon Nov 16, 2020 7:30 am

Sunday, October 15 2020

Still being followed by Squilliam. It's pretty great. Not one shark, not one weird sea creature around. Well. Except for Squilliam. Is that a weird name, considering? I thought about him today. Strange woods all smoky and misted on this island, and I thought of Will. Lost, and afraid, and... God, I hope he's not alone. He's always dreaming. Nightmares. I think about him. Once, I wanted to kiss him. And then, I only wanted to hold him to keep him from slipping into nightmares. Now... Maybe on my journey, I'll find him. Maybe I'll be strong enough by then to save my friend. Maybe I'll be able to keep him out of the dreams. Are we all just stuck in dreams? Can't I just pull him into this better one?

If this is a dream, I never want to wake up. If I do, what will that world be like? Will I be back on a dirty mattress somewhere in New York? Will I wake up from a binge, only to realize this has all been some dream of a half-dead brain? If I'm in a coma, just let me go. I want to stay here. I want to stay with my ocean. I want to be with my real friends. Real family. Not the people that made me. The ones that made me better.

In this place, I found something like peace. I am still like the ocean, though. I have storms. I have those days where everything is rough, and I can't stop destructive waves from crashing over my own head. But now I have an island to wash up on. I'm not stranded. And there, waiting for me... Love. Open arms. Real smiles. Real laughter.

I miss Mallory right now. I wish she could see Squilliam. But I know she's busy. Aren't pregnen pregge pregnant women always busy? Like... Making baby rooms... And going to lumaz classes? Learning how to do mom stuff? I don't know. Not like I'm having any kids. A little sister? I can deal with that. Don't tell Mallory. She can just call me Uncle Mo. I think it's about time that nickname stopped making me want to puke.

Aaaaand now I've changed my mind about having soup for dinner. The crew can eat that. I'll sneak away and fill up on moonbeams and pie. Ha.
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Re: Heathen

Post by Morgan LaFey » Thu Nov 19, 2020 2:14 am

There is a page, undated. On it is practice handwriting, some not very good at all, some passable, and a series of foreign phrases, so very carefully written:

Ni *mestathol? This particular line is scratched out.

Le i velethron e-gull nin.

Gi melin

Le melin


Melin --- Le, Gi?

The rest of the page is covered in doodles, and scribbles. A floating island, a swirl, a few stussies, a flower or two, and a skull and crossbones with googly eyes. More than one speck of ink is scattered across the page, as if in repeated rhythmic contact with a pen.
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Re: Heathen

Post by Morgan LaFey » Sat Nov 21, 2020 10:17 am

Friday, November 20 2020

Am I distracted? A little. But not in a bad way. My mind doesn't wander as much as it used to. Not where it doesn't need to go. It's not wallowing in itself. The thoughts that used to take over just sit in a corner, and they're all caught up in the new ones that keep them there.

I'm not sure how much I should visit Rhydin anymore. Home, sure. I will always return home, when I can. Rhydin is where home is. Sort of. It's how I get there. I should let my cell die. No more calls. No more texts. The important ones can reach me another way.

We're closing in on something big. Squilliam has been really twitchy, and keeps disappearing for hours. Maybe just hungry. The fish we give are just a snack for something that big, really. He lets me swim with him sometimes. I got to touch his head. He's really sweet, but I need to figure out what to do about the tentacles. He doesn't mean to, but the suckers leave marks when he touches me back. I wonder if he can be trained.
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Re: Heathen

Post by Morgan LaFey » Sun Nov 22, 2020 8:51 am

Saturday, November 21 2020

Okay, I'll admit it. I kinda fucked up. I spent hours looking at maps and charts to find the place the egg came from. I don't know if those things lay more than one. What if there are fish people down there? Merpeople and nymphs and... what if they're being controlled? I can't leave that to Mallory.

But I can't lie to her. I'll give her the information. Always.

There's one person I've been avoiding seeing. I tried to see him, once. But he's taken a vacation. I don't blame him. I basically did the same thing. Is he trying to find himself, too? I say I'll stop visiting so much...

I think it'll be nice to bring his next gift in person. I hope he won't be mad.

I couldn't even really say goodbye.

We're not far now, I think, from the place the old journal talks about. I don't know how dangerous it is, and I am maybe a little nervous. Am I bringing my crew to their deaths? At least one person made it out, right? Whoever wrote this must have seen what is there. That, or they're going off rumor, too. Or they're just assholes, and I'm headed straight to hell.

Is this where I get my affairs in order?
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Re: Heathen

Post by Morgan LaFey » Fri Nov 27, 2020 10:19 am

Tuesday, November 24 2020

He's still around. I thought it was just a fluke. Just a ghost to scare me. I thought he was gone with my brother, took him away again. This time, I hoped he did. They're made for worlds like these. Where it's so easy to disappear into instinct and blame the idiots that should have known better that to trust something designed to kill.

I guess I'm guilty of it too though, right?

How much should you trust a lioness... when you're the antelope?
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Re: Heathen

Post by Morgan LaFey » Fri Nov 27, 2020 10:28 am

Wednesday, November 25 2020

William! He's safe! A little funny in the head, but that's not strange. He's always a little off. It's one of the things I like best. It's like he's still dreaming, and we just get to be a part of it. Really, it was just a huge bonus to my night. The fight, and Mallory seeing my first win, and then Will. I told Muffin I was going to be staying on the ship, then grabbed Gwen and we all went onto the crow's nest and shared a bottle of liquor and a few blunts.

Nobody said anything about it, but there was this empty place with us. We all noticed it. We all tried to ignore it while we talked about nothing at all, and the first star to the left, and mermaids and krakens and being happy.

He wants to be happy. He yells about how he is happy, and I'm sorry I ever brought it up, because I'm not sure he is. He noticed the empty place way more, I think.

I took some pictures. These are things I like to remember.
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Re: Heathen

Post by Morgan LaFey » Fri Nov 27, 2020 10:34 am

Thursday, November 26 2020

Slept so much of the day, and then ate. And ate. Finished out the night watching movies with people...

I've never seen Mallory back away from anything. She called me. And I was ready to tear someone apart, if she asked. I know she was just trying to protect herself. Well... not herself. She's fucking indestructible.

I'll put myself between that little bean and a raging bull made of death and flames. I'll stab a hundred Steves, and two Blood Steves.

Lol.
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