VOTE >:[

[Static Rest]

Olaf was certain about many of things, including that his mass was greater than most black holes. One other thing he was certain about was that he had made it very clear that he had the receipts. ALL of the receipts. What more could the citizenry want than enough documentation of purchases to fill Kaiju Lake?

As nominations drew to a close, he stayed up long into the night with his planting planning committee, a number of bowls of wax fruit and plastic cacti arrayed attentively around a conference room table to watch his PowerPoint on the screen.

On one side of the slide was a crowd of happy office workers, RhyDinian citizenry in a happy, productive environment.



The potted cacti rattled in place, but in a mild and agreeable sort of way. This was fine.

But Olaf clicked the remote clutched in his lid, and the productive environment was suddenly replaced by a nuclear explosion!



The planning committee all rattled across the table in fear and distress, until Olaf creaked open his lid and let out a loud, low, wooden groan that sent out a stream of googly eyes, and their fears were assuaged.

Plastic cacti needles and pineapple leaves rustled together in a thoughtful sort of way. The planting planning committee was pretty sure they knew where their fearless leader was going with this...

* * * * *

What could be more reassuring than knowing that none other than Olaf von Trunk himself was looking out for you? Nothing! That was what his interns tried to communicate as a wide variety of small appliances and other usually-inanimate objects tottered their way across town, plastering a fresh set of posters on everything and everyone they could until they ran out.

[Static Rest]

Olaf von Trunk's many, many, MANY campaign pamphlets had a familiar format: an exhortation to VOTE >:[ on the front, stickers and activities that were fun for the whole family on the back, and in the middle, the details of his triangular restructuring plan for the city budget.

But what exactly was his triangular restructuring plan? The text read as follows:

The city budget has never been restructured in a triangular way before, and Olaf von Trunk KNOWS it is past time that the city enjoys its great and prosperous benefits! Was it not Archimedes who said, "Give me a lever long enough and a fulcrum on which to place it, and I shall move the world"? Isn't it past time that WE, as RHYDIN, moved the world?

Think of the city budget, an amalgamation of forgotten funds of inscrutable origin, as the lever. Think of the new TRIANGULAR budget plan as the fulcrum. Now think of Olaf von Trunk, not only IFL's Hottest Babe of the Year for the 2019-2020 season but whose IFL profile weight proves that he weighs 12.2 undecillion tons, standing on the end of that lever.

If you want to know where Olaf von Trunk stands on the important issues, THAT is where he stands. On the end of the lever. And together, we will move the world.

The trunk knew two things about his plan: that it was perfect, in the depths of his little wooden heart, and that it was verbose. They needed something snappier. Something with pizzazz. Panache! And possibly pizza.

* * * * *

After ordering 256 pizzas delivered to the Dockside baronial manor, and deep consultation with his writing team (literally five Brother Accord 12 typewriters), the campaign drafted and posted the following poster on numerous available (and a few unavailable) surfaces across RhyDin:

[Static Rest]

With the election right around the corner, Olaf and his campaign team did one more advertising push, rolling up and planting these posters in yards, gardens, parks, greenhouses, sandboxes, and at least a few litter boxes.