The Governor's Mansion

Posts pertaining to the Governor and other public works. Moderator will pass on to the next gov.

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Pharlen
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The Governor's Mansion

Post by Pharlen »

Message from your Beloved Governor, Pharlen Von Tombs:

"Hello, darlings and naughty cupcakes and other assorted magnificent bastards!

As you may not have realized - I certainly hadn't - RhyDin actually has a Governor's Mansion. It vanished likely sometime around when Dearest Dris was kidnapped by aliens, I'm not actually sure, and I'm still not certain Dris was actually kidnapped by aliens when he's far more likely to have been dragged off by Kitty to play mash music for her Cabaret 'Il Pluet Des Hommes'.

That aside, the mansion turned up again, and it seems to be stable both physically and temporally. Don't quote me on that, though, it's as stable in reality as anything RhyDin.

With the new year coming in soon, I thought it'd be a nice gesture for the next Governor to actually be able to inhabit the mansion, and since I am still recovering from earlier jerk face related incidents, I'm throwing the gates open for Responsible and Able restoration experts, cabinet makers, ghost busters, post toasters, and other assorted tile and plumbing experts to get in there and clean it up.

Keeping in mind: If you insist on splitting your group up, you get what you deserve. We have no pity for any hot teens having sex in a dilapidated bed, any comic relief should be checked at the door, do not absorb any energy field larger than your head, and if in doubt, DO NOT turn into a snake. It never helps.

Please document your visit and what repairs you have been able to complete, and if possible, publish which demons, monsters, or inhuman abominations you encountered while replacing the tin ceilings. Good luck, and stay safe!

My lawyers insist that I give a few heads up for you. Waste of time, if you ask me, but lawyers. Whateryougonnado?

1. A squad of commando battle nuns were sent in a few weeks ago with a few gallons of holy water. They have not been seen since, and it's believed they're starting a love commune in the gardens.

2. Clowns have been sighted in the upper windows. These are obviously lovely happy children's party clowns, nothing to worry about.

3. A lot of webs have been seen in the cellar windows. Cobwebs happen in closed houses.

And then there was something about a large eye on a stalk coming out of a pond in the yards, but you know, I'd be surprised if there wasn't things living in there.

So! That's that. Of course there will be a lovely tax break for yours and your company's assistance in renovating the Governor's Mansion back to its original splendor!

With Love and Solidarity,

Governor Pharlen Von Tombs."

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((OOC: Mansion of the Damned. Have fun exorcising whatever you like, repairing, and making RhyDin a more historic place to be. Also, so the next gov has a nice place to live for a year. ;D If you need or want some ideas or assistance, just ping me here or on discord.))
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PrlUnicorn
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Re: The Governor's Mansion

Post by PrlUnicorn »

Dearest Pharlen,

Sent you a few people to help with clearing up the grounds of the mansion. No idea if the house will accept new plants and such, but I'm told that trees appreciate being talked to. A bounty of beehives were discovered on the premises! Instead of bothering the wee buzzers, some signage was posted warning people of their presence.

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Pharlen
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Re: The Governor's Mansion

Post by Pharlen »

"Ma'am? Call from one of the yard workers Colleen sent in," announced Tom, Pharlen's long suffering assistant. Pharlen took the phone from him, already resigned.

"Yes?"

A few moments later, Pharlen rubbed at her brow.

"Really? The battle nuns actually have set up a love commune... in the old stables on the south end of the mansion property? Yay. So what's the problem?"

Pharlen made 'give me coffee' movements to Tom. He picked up her mug to refill.

"...The sex workers from 'The Soiled Dove' and 'The Booby Trap' are picketing the south entrance to the mansion because the Love Nuns are undercutting their business..." Pharlen noted, now making 'put booze into the coffee' movements to Tom. He winced and reached for the vodka.

"Okay. Build a discreet ticket booth on the south end drive, charge whatever it takes to even it up with the whore houses as an entrance fee. ...I don't know, traditionally, whoever's running it would be stealing the take. I guess send the funds to the Sex Worker Guild. If it doesn't get to them, they can send out their own heroes."

Pharlen accepted her cup of coffee and booze, taking a slow drink as she listened to the yard worker.

"Actually, yes, there are plants that take over and imitate humanoid forms, then devour the carcasses. SO. I suggest you and your people carry a chain saw or something. A little weed killer. Stick to the bees, they'll know. What about the house?"

Pharlen muttered, rubbing at the bridge of her nose.

"Gotcha. So. Not all of the battle nuns are love nuns. Great. Okay. Well. Good luck." Pharlen noted before hanging the phone up. She took another slow and deep drink of the coffee. Tom watched her uneasily. She had that far away stare that usually preceded some of her odder plans.

"Grab a few kids off the street, send them to catch, I don't know, twenty, of the Roombahs running loose dockside. Have the Roombah's equipped with cheap go-pros and a knife, and send them in the front and back and basement doors to the mansion."

"Ma'am?" Tom faltered.

"Oh, just have it done, Tom."

"No, ...what about the Frisbees?" he explained. Pharlen exhaled. Of course, there were Frisbees. She had somehow forgotten about the 'VOTE >:[ ' Frisbees.

"Number the Roombahs. Assign that number to its Frisbee. Stream the Roombah's go-pro on line. Display the Frisbees and their numbers and the stream urls out in front of the mansion, let people bet on which Roombah will survive till it hits clean carpet or flooring."

"...Yes, Ma'am," Tom noted, wide eyed.
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