Monkey in his Pants

Phalanx (fā′lăngks′), n. A group of people or things of a similar type forming a compact body or brought together for a common purpose.

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Katt Batten
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Monkey in his Pants

Post by Katt Batten »

(Taken from old site - dated: Thu Nov 15, 2012. Had to move it for it is one of the best laughs still to this day!)
(I want to thank everyone involved in this massively huge laugh. I left it in livechat format for easier reading. If the title didn't make you laugh the log surely will. Enjoy!)


Carson: Katt earned a wave just before Cars went behind the bar to find a drink. "Anyone else parched? And no, I'm not buying but I'll get it for ya."

Katt: A hand waved from the kitchen door. "Dr. Pepper. Or one of those black cans. Whatever hits your hand first."

Carson: A badsider hit her hand first. Lucky for Katt, she'd keep it for herself and find a Dr. Pepper. "Do these really have prune juice in them? I rarely bother to read the labels." And didn't bother now either. "Hey.." Placing the two drinks on the bar. "How did your Halloween thing go? No surprises by Eris I hope."

Katt: She wouldn't even make it to the fridge. Stupid arse stew was guarding it so she'd come back out of the kitchen kind of grumbling "Evening, Thorn." Her brow twitched and she glanced over to Carson. "It went great. The only surprise was one I didn't know about. Mesteno blessing the joint." Not going to give details to that one. Thorn probably could guess.

Carson: "Did he pee on it or something?" Blessings usually meant holy water but somehow, that didn't seem right on such a night. "Here's you pepper." Scooting it far enough down the bar for Katt to find. "Well, at least no one was chewed up and swallowed." Eyeing the room for a minute.

Katt: "No..not that sort of blessing." She snerked a bit and accepted the can. "Thanks.. and no..but there was enough strawberry jam all over the place that I wasn't able to sleep until the following evening."

Carson: A curious eyebrow cocked on that little fact. "Strawberry jam eh? Kinky.." Take all night to lick..eh, nevermind. "I stayed home. Didn't have a costume." Not one she wanted to wear in mixed company anyway. "What did you go as?"

Katt: "Uhm.." She fished out her pcui and brought up the picture of her costume and showed it over to Carson.

Carson: "Holy..sh...eh." Carson was no that brave. "You look pretty darn good. All eyes were on you I bet."

Katt: "Nope. I was pretty much the normal wallflower." A single shoulder roll as she looked at the picture herself.

Carson: "I'm beginning to think you are a wallflower by choice. Whereas I am.." Pondering her singleness a minute. .."am too. But if i can kick their butt, I don't want to date them."

Katt: "No..I'm not.. It is just how things are.." She murmured quietly and shrugged her shoulders.

LadyAjaBird: ::pulls up to the Inn and parks the truck, talking on the phone as she gets out:: Ricks.. let's take a look at his contract tomorrow morning. No.. Yeah. That's what I'm thinking. ::comes around the truck to see if Padriq's getting out yet::

Padriq Kidd: ::He's already out and stretching. He's even tugging up his jeans and wiggling a little. Then he was skritching his chest and then his chin.::

Carson: "Mhmm..I don't think so. There's not a single curve hidden in that picture so there's way in hell some guy, or even a few girls, didn't ogle you. So maybe you play too hard to get." A problem she knew very well because Cars was rated nearly impossible. "Flirt with someone in here. Let's see how you do."

LadyAjaBird: So.. we'll take a look. See if he's got wiggle room fer dat. Address it then. Go home. Make BBQ fer you and Rafe. ...Whatever. Go. ::hangs up and grins at Padriq:: Rico's funny. ::takes Padriq's arm after her phone is put in its place::

Tristan Larson: Pulls up a few moments after Aja and Pad, pulling off to the side so they would have an easier time heading off. Once out, he moved towards the porch steps with a wave to the pair. Nevermind he looked scruffy looking.

Katt: "Uh..not sure what you mean by being hard to get. I'm just me..and I suck at flirting. I really do.." Shrugging she stuffed her left hand into the pocket of her hoodie. Drumming her fingers she tried to think over when was the last time she attempted to try..

LadyAjaBird: ::waits for Tristan:: Hey. It's Peaches. ::chuckles::

Padriq Kidd: Funny lookin' t'. ::He grinned to her then shot a wave to Tristan. His hand closes over hers while he grins, dimples blossoming on his cheek.::

Tristan Larson: " Rabbit. " Shaking his head at Aja, as he opened the door for the pair. " Old people and age before beauty. "

Carson: "If you suck at flirting, then you need to eye a guy who doesn't. But he'll probably be a jack arse, womanizing loser." Sipping at the badsider. "Most of 'em are." Shrugging. "Gotta find the diamond in the rough I guess. Aladdin's taken though."

LadyAjaBird: That too. ::to Padriq with a grin and then shakes her head at Tristan:: Ya been lettin da barmaid fluff yer ego again, haven't ya?
LadyAjaBird: ::heads up the stairs and into the Inn::

Tristan Larson: " No, been stuck in the office as of late. Figured I'd get out for a while. "

Katt: "Who is Aladdin?" Blink.

Padriq Kidd: Peaches dunnae jus' use the barmaid fer fluffin.... ::Still grinning as he heads towards the door.::

Tristan Larson: " I don't be usin' barmaid for anything. " Following the pair in and shut the door.

LadyAjaBird: I don't need ta know what Tristan's been doin wiff da barmaid! ::nudges Padriq, then glances over her shoulder at Tristan, her eyes following him as he falls in step with her and Padriq:: I saw some of the pic from da treehouse project. We need ta ditch da rope bridges. We got a projected date fer dat happenin?

Carson: "It's a cartoon back home. He's this cute, thief guy and his monkey. .." Stopping mid drink to clarify. 'I don't mean the one in his pants either. It's a real monkey. Cartoon not real....so..moving on." Ahem. The room got another once over. "Have to admit, theirs not many prospects here."

Katt: "Why would he have a monkey in his pants." That was a disturbing mental image..

Katt: .. She did just ask that as Aja and crew came in..didn't she?

Padriq Kidd: Ruinin' me fun wit all the rope bridges n' wutnae. ::He said as he frowned to the nixing of the rope bridges.::

LadyAjaBird: ::looks at Katt and grins:: A monkey? In his pants?

Tristan Larson: " Not yet, but those are just some rough ideas that your friend and me have come up with. " To Aja, with a glance to Katt for a moment. " Compensation. " Easily added then looked at Pad. " Concider it done, Aja. "

Padriq Kidd: I 'as a monkey in me pants. ::Totally taking it dirty and turning it dirty.::

Carson: The beer nearly spewed out her nose as coughing ensued. "omg.." followed by chuckling.."you're gonna kill me woman."

Padriq Kidd: ::He even rolls his hips.::

Tristan Larson: He motioned to Pad for an example on that since he spoke up.

LadyAjaBird: ::snickers at Padriq and then looks to see just how many shades of red Katt is turning right now::

Katt: And absolutely lost! "I don't know!" To Aja and to Padriq her sharp greens stared.

Padriq Kidd: ::Padriq has that effect on women.::

Tristan Larson: He chuckled as he moved towards the bar to let Aja and Pad torment Katt.

LadyAjaBird: ::giggles leaning on Padriq's arm. Oooh her poor friend, Katt. Her favorite Cupcake Queen was so going to need a therapist if she kept meeting Padriq like this::

Padriq Kidd: ::Dimpled grin for Katt.:: 'ow ya doin' luv?

Carson: "Alright, first off..it's a kid's show. So Aladdin didn't have a monkey in his pants. Cause that's be rated at least R. Now, in the porn version, maybe so. ..." Katt really didn't know what they were eluding to did she? Oh boy.

Padriq Kidd: ::Takes the opportunity of Aja's lean to kiss her brow.::
Katt: "Why do you have a monkey in your pants." Refusing to watch the rolling hips. Paddy seems to forgotten their last encounter? This should be interesting. Tristan was glanced to and over to Carson. No clue.

Tristan Larson: Katt got a friendly smile and wave at the glance as he moved behind the bar. Beers set out for Aja and Pad, with him getting a cup of coffee.

LadyAjaBird: So he has a monkey ta spank later? ::waggles her brows and lets go of Padriq's arm to go get them drinks::

Padriq Kidd: ::Padriq didn't forget, which is why he's safely over by Aja. Then she went there and his grin grew broader and broader. Oh god, then Aja went there.:: Aye, spankin' da monkey.

Padriq Kidd: All da time luv. ::Grinning more and more.::

LadyAjaBird: ::winks at Tristan and grabs the beers, holding out one for Padrq:: Ya know, Tris? We should set aside a fund fer Katt's therapy sessions.

Carson: "Aye, monkey's like being spanked." Oi! Shaking her head. Someone had some explaining to do with Miss Katt and it wouldn't be her. "Drink your Dr. Pepper dear."

Padriq Kidd: ::Beers? For Padriq. He takes the beer and opens it. Sure, sure. He'll drink it, even though he's trying to oggle the bar for rum.::
Tristan Larson: " For all that you put her through, with the photos on your tablet to things that you say. I think she could use it. " Looking between the two as he took a sip of his coffee. " Though I don't know her all that well. "

Katt: "Why would you want to spank the monkey in Padriq's pants?" Son'of a ..Blink. Sputter.

Tristan Larson: Side glance to poor Katt. Stare.

Katt: Her face was red enough without the man staring at her. "Shuddup." She warned as quickly as she possibly could.

Tristan Larson: " Wasn't going to say anything. "

LadyAjaBird: ::::grins at Tristan and then looks back to Padriq and Katt::

Tristan Larson: " She's cute when she blushes. " Off hand to Aja and Pad.

Padriq Kidd: ::BIG BROAD GRIN. He just stares at Katt with that perverted look on his face.::

Carson: Her eyes closed, lips pursed...rying so darn hard not to completely lose it. Alas, the laughter slipped free though Cars tried to hide it by burying her face in the crook of her arm while laying on the bartop.

Padriq Kidd: Cause i' gives me pleasure! Aja spanks i' too. ::Browdance.::

LadyAjaBird: ::chuckles at Tristan and then tugs Padriq closer, cause at some point.. Katt's going to swing at him::

Katt: She would of stared at Tristan for that comment..but Padriq was giving her that look. Twitch.

Padriq Kidd: ::Pulled closer and willingly goes.::

Carson: By the time Padriq added his two cents, she'd slid all the way down to the floor from chuckling so hard. "Holy crap..."

Tristan Larson: Now he's on his own if Katt goes to swinging.

Carter English: Lack of a complete disaster to his wardrobe made him hard to recognize. A gunmetal colored suit with a red splash against his chest from the noose of a tie. That very tie was being pulled, picked, and struggled with to loosen it's hold. Clean shaven and smelling like cologne. The bruiser cursed beneath his breath just as he started thru the door.

Katt: Carson's fault and yes she was rather red. The color swam across her face and across the bridge of her nose. Mentally? She was thumping Padriq to the ground. He was lucky Aja was protecting him! Tristan was safe..sorta. "Shush it, Carson."

Padriq Kidd: Wut, dunnae look a' me li'e tha' Lass. Ye be askin' the questions n' I jus' be answerin' em. ::He remembers the thong issue.::

LadyAjaBird: ::so distracted about the monkey in the pants conversation, she had forgotten what Tristan had said about the rope bridges being replaced::

Tristan Larson: " I'll let Calix know about the change in the rope bridges. " Looking to Aja again.

LadyAjaBird: ::looks to Tristan:: Fergot ya can still hear me. ::points to her head and chuckles::

Carson: Shut it? Shut it? The more they said, the redder Katt became, the harder she laughed. "I can't.." somehow managing to pull herself back up to standing with a little help from the bar. Been a long time since she'd laughed this hard. The stiff drew her eye. Very out of place it seemed. "How about that guy?" guiding Katt's eye to Carter. "He's cute."

LadyAjaBird: ::grins and glances back to Katt giving her an apologetic look::

Tristan Larson: " You seemed a little distracted for a moment, just making sure you heard me. " Light smile offered.

LadyAjaBird: ::settles on a bar stool and tugs Padriq closer to her so she can hang on to his arm casually. Gives Tristan a smile:: Well, it came in handy, I was just thinkin about it. ::winks::

Katt: "Just.." She shook a finger at Padriq. "I don't wanna know about the monkey in your pants. I..Carson was confusing me and .." She waved both hands to the air. One of the waves went to Jane but uh...yeah..don't mind the panic. Yeah Aja. You ain't innocent! Glancing to Carson then to where she directed attention. "Mrm? What about him?" No more talking about monkies in pants..omgawd her face hurt..

Tristan Larson: " Luckly. I don't hear everything that goes on in that mind of your's. " Shaking his head as he looked around at the others a moment.

LadyAjaBird: Ya'd need a full time therapist if ya did. ::grins at Tristan easily:: Not dat ya don't now. ::teasing::

Carter English: Not typically oblivious but he had been preoccupied with loosening up the tailored fit. It looked streamline against the broad stretch of his shoulders, even if his face documented how uncomfortable it was. If the starlet had been good for one thing, it had been choosing some of the finer ensembles in his wardrobe. Now, though? He was coming up to the bar and wishing he had brought a change of clothes. Both his hands (gnarled and scar tissue stitched) raised over the shaved landscape of his skull. A dip of his chin to nod towards Katt, the only person he recognized, but he didn't still to linger long. He was heading for an open end of the bar.

Tristan Larson: " Already seeing one. " Grinning at her.

LadyAjaBird: ::cackles at Tristan and takes a drink of her beer::

Padriq Kidd: Ye asked abou' i' luv! ::Then he's tugged nearer. He gave her a squeeze while he hangs on her arm. Smiling softly, he kissed her brow again.::

LadyAjaBird: ::leans over to Padriq and kisses his cheek:: Stop messin with Katt, 'fore her face burns off.

Carson: "How are pants and monkey's confusing? Nothing confusing about them at all. Pickles and pants..that's a different story. Then there's the one eyed snake." She could go all night if the mood struck. Right now, her focus was changing to other activities. "You don't think he's good looking? Aside from the tie and suit. Ties should be outlawed on good looking men." Made her want to choke them.

Padriq Kidd: ::He liked Carson.::
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