The LongWalk

[Sjira]

(Thu Jan 03, 2013 12:09 pm)
[S'jira's Post]

When the hour was as late as it was that night, s'jira normally did not venture to walk or ride to the small home she had that lay beyond the northern walls of the great city.

But Panther was with her and there was no thought to any possible dangers of the cold, highwaymen, or else along that path that night.

She pulled the simple, brown cloak about self and over the white, long-sleeved dress. The cloak had been a gift from Katt, along with the boots the small woman currently wore, and kept her as well and warm as possible against the Winter's wind and snows.

Still, she sought his arm out when she could bare it no longer, to to be in contact with him. "Beloved..." Snow crunched beneath small, booted feet. The scent of her was the oils she had used for that bath taken after so long a bout of not sleeping since his return.

Half-afraid to pain him but guilt and more weighed on her to know that there was much he did not know of her goings-on for the last few years. Darkness around them, she sought out the moon's reflection on the snow here and there, occasionally looking up to him.

"...are there questions had of ...of me in the time you have lost from here?"

[Panther's Post]

They walked in quiet for a bit, his gaze was wandering. Taking in both subtle and not so subtle changes in the buildings and such about him.

The silence was broke by a single spoken word as she reached for him. He gave her hand a light squeeze in his as he turned his head enough to look to her. There was a hint of... pain? behind her gaze as she briefly looked to him.

Another reassuring squeeze was given and she continued.

"...is there questions had of ...of me in the time you have lost from here?"

A short breath was let out. Wow. Sure there were questions. Lots of them.

He could not ignore the fact she had been with others while he was gone. But neither could, or would he fault her. He had already had so many conflicted thoughts about this. He knew that for her to give herself to another is not something that would have been done in haste, not an action taken lightly.Not something done simply out of loneliness or simple desire.

"Yes, there are many. and more will come with each answer I am sure. Including more than a few I am not sure I truly wish to know the answer to."

He pondered his choice of words for another moment. He did not know names, and that was something that really didn't matter. But there was one thing that he supposed did matter.

"Were you... did they care for you? Were you happy?"

[S'jira's Post]

Along the way, she stayed near to him, out of a need for warmth as well as to have him so close after so long apart.

"Yes. There was carrying by them.. for me. And happiness was thought found for a while." She had need for him to know so that surprises did not blindside him in paths crossed, or other things she simply could not think of.

"After you had been gone a very long time, company of a ranger called Hawk was kept. He was good within hunting and finding a reason to bring laughter. But it was not a ...long time together." Her arm curled in against his, light but not clinging. "But everything that was done, you were thought of in." A frown and gaze was lifted to him with the weight that still pressed on her that she could not fully break away to be happy with another. "I..broke ways with him." Selfish it sounded to her. "It was not fair to him."

"The second was the blacksmith, Kruger." A nod to self and gaze lifted skyward to see if was going to snow, but all the while she was simply trying to sort through feelings to put them into words. On the edge of things she was cringing and not knowing of telling him was the right thing to do - that it might bring him pain. "He was spent time with from last fall until just at the beginning of this summer's months. There was great caring by him..for me." A breath was taken. "But Llothgar was travelled to for months. Gone too long and without word by me." Simply, a nod and a breath exhaled. "Much pain was brought to him from doing that. He cannot be blamed for seeking the love and caring of another before my return."

She quieted, glancing back to him to see how words of hers were accepted. And knew very well it might make matters all the worse. Still, she remained and walked beside him.

[Panther's Post]

He listened quietly as she spoke of first the ranger, and then the smith. There was not any sort of outward reaction on his part. He had braced for such news as soon as he figured out just how long he had been gone.?

That is not to say that hearing it from here made it any easier. And as he caught her gaze, he knew. As ever, even after all she had been threw because of his disappearance, she was still more concerned for what he may be feeling right now, more concerned for what pain he may be feeling than any pain she may have gone through.

He could feel her looking to him, waiting to see how he would take this news. It took a few moments as they continued to walk before he was able to speak.

"I am glad... Glad that you were able to find someone. Someone to make you happy. I am also saddened that it was thoughts of me, of the unkown, that brought it to an end. And while it may be very selfish to think, let alone say this, I am also glad that it did end. If I had returned to find you happy in the arms of another..."

That sentence was left unfinished.

"Thank you," the words emphasized with a gentle squeeze of her hand, "for being honest with me."

[S'jira's Post]

A heart eased greatly to hear that much from him. That he was not angered was a great relief, though she suspected on some level she had pained him.

Touch lingered until she grew too cold to stand it anymore. Then hurriedly pulled the short, brown cloak about self to fight against the winter night. They had walked a good while, leaving the city and its walls behind.

Soon enough, the road that wended to the north and through the woods took them to where the simple dwelling stood.

It was not what some would have called a grand home, not even a proper and fancy cottage. But it was a good and solid place with a thatch roof and field-stone walls. A single window faced the yard of the house that stood on handful of acres. Its doorway was ample enough and taller than her, but he might find that he would need to duck a bit when going inside.

The window was dark and the fireplace stack was not smoking since she had not been there to light candles and else, or to have a fire going that day.

Within and yet unseen were two main rooms: a larger outer room that was the living area and a kitchen with a room at the back for a bedroom and storage.

To the right of the home on its property was a small, two-stall barn and coral. Nearly to every side of the house and barn were trees, and more trees.

S'jira came to stand in the yard of, then glanced up to him. "It was bought from the land-seller over a year's time ago." Slightest of pauses, before teeth chattered quietly. "The loft felt wrong to be at...when you were not here..." She had said it once before, but a heart felt it well.

[Panther's Post]

He could feel her relax against him as he spoke. After a bit, she released his arm and huddled under her cloak, fighting back the chill air. His hand slipped across her shoulder blades, down to the small of her back as they continued to walk without speaking.

She led the way, and before long they were standing before the small structure that S'jira had come to call her home. She paused before it, instinctively he moved behind her, hands to her shoulders, pressing close to try and share some of his warmth with her.

She told of how she had bought it over a year ago, and when she spoke of not feeling right in staying at the loft he couldn't help but flash back to his own past, of the wooded cabin he left behind long ago. In between her words he could hear her teeth chatter, and with a slight nudge he spoke up.

"We should get inside and get you warmed up."

He followed her to the door, and then inside, dipping his head slightly. His feline eyes scanned the interior, an outer room for sitting, cooking, dining. The doorway to another room at the back he assumed was the bedroom. Taking in the various things about the room, he could very much feel her presence in nearly every bit of it.

He moved to the cold hearth and as she took to lighting a candle he used some of the tinder and twigs that were there to start prepping for a fire.

"It is very nice. Very you."

He looked up as she approached with a lit candle. Using the candles flame to light a taper, he soon had the kindling aflame and was feeding it other sticks and finally a few of the split logs.

S'jira busied herself about the room as he was starting the fire, and as the logs caught they started the room with with a warm glow of both light and warmth.

He moved to sit on the deerskin rug before the hearth, and looked to her. "Come sit with me?" He patted the spot on the floor between him and the hearth.

He watched her as she removed her cloak and hung it from a peg near the door. He would never tire of watching her just... move. The natural grace she had. She did not need to dance for her movements to touch him.

She came and sat, between him and the hearth. Wrapping his arms about her, he drew her back against him, adding his warmth to that of the fire. His head was just over her shoulder, his cheek pressed lightly to hers.

Content as he was to just be with her, to have her near, one thing about her earlier 'confession' had stuck in the back of his mind, and left him curious.

Speaking softly, his mouth so close to her ear, "Tell me of Llothgar?"