Journal

[Sjira]

06.25.15

Word has reached these ears that a man of Llothgar was seen coming through one of the portals leading from there to RhyDin. A heart worries that it might be Master Gracus. There is always that thought in the shadows of memories. But a heart eases to know that how the man was described does not match Gracus u'Lor.

Still, thoughts and a heart cannot help but wonder who it might be.

[Sjira]

06.27.15

After resting for hours, the room at the inn of the Red Dragon was finally left. The nightmares are still in these thoughts and bring the pain of headaches. It is hoped that they stop soon. The work at the docks cannot be done well or as often if this much rest is needed.

A while was spent on the stairs. The gods are given thanks for it not being too loud this night since the pain in this head will not completely leave for over a month's time now.

At the stairs, the room of the inn can be seen. It is usually safe there, though Shriss' dark...attention years ago can be remembered. And even the stairs then were not safe.

There is usually a lot to watch of strangers and some that these eyes and heart know better than those who just make their to and from the lands. But few are true and close friends within these lands anymore. Most have left for good and others are busy.

The doorway of the hall on the inn's first level, the one that leads to the rooms for storage, offices, and washing rooms for clothes and other things... where Panther used to be seen...is almost always empty. But these eyes cannot help but to see if he is there. It was four years he was gone that first time, not so long the next. And again, something has taken him from this place. And from...me. It sounds so very selfish, but most would not understand. These lips to not say all that is in this heart, mind, and soul. Especially not in public. It simply isn't dared.

Words to this journal seem a safer thing. To speak of a heart's desire for companionship. Of the needs of a sharl'shan, those who are slaves among the Llothgarian peoples. It is a strange thought to know that the bells are no longer worn on this right ankle and that no Master has been served since the second year within these lands. But a heart longs for that shadow to kneel in, the strong hand and ways to guide ..me. But too many years have passed. There is no complete, true and clear path walked now: not completely unfettered, not completely tied. These lips could never explain it clearly. These are things better shown by the actions of ways heartfelt.

While on the stairs, things were seen this night. It was tried hard not to think on Panther and the love a heart has felt so deeply for him. Thoughts were of Kitty and Tasslehofl. There are questions of what happened, but a heart is pained to even ask it of either of them.

A woman named Madison was seen and met this night. She asked that a horse blanket be made by these hands for someone she knows. It is wondered if she loves him, or if it is for a very good friend. This eases a heart to have purpose, to be able to make something for another that will make them happy.

Lucius was seen again this night. What else was seen by these eyes was him punching and putting words to someone. Ears could not hear what the matter was about and one can only guess the other had wronged him. Eyes have never seen him strike another, but much is unknown even after all these years in these lands. It was not dared to bring him a drink this night after seeing that. Perhaps next time courage will be found to see to that smallest of needs.

The ship has been seen again. The one that is called The Amaranthine. Feet got as far as the top of the plank from the docks to the ship's deck. But courage lacks! Perhaps, if there is an asking of Garet he might go with ..me. It will be thought on.

Rest is needed and the hour is second in the earliest of the morning ones. A hot bath was taken but it does not ease the pain in this head.

[Sjira]

07.01.15

Garet is happy. His lady is to have a baby soon!

What news. Though it will probably never happen for ...me, this is always a great occasion for celebration for others. A very, very happy thing. As soon as the horseblanket is finished for the strong, Ms. Madison, thinking will start on this..of what to gift to Garet and his wife for the baby coming. He says that there is at least half a year to go so it is thought there is plenty of time.

[Sjira]

07.02.15

The inn has been strange without Panther. Though it has never 'spoken' anything that these ears could hear and understand, there was always a thriving way to it. Words cannot be found to put to this page. There is no understanding of it.

There is hope that one day that he returns so that the heart of the inn will beat as it once did, even if it is not a return to ...me. Thoughts have been much about this lately. A 'listening' was even tried while in the kitchen, just days ago. But there is a sound missing that was there even in its walls before.

[Sjira]

07.03.15

A thought was had, though the gods and godlings might be laughing.

The rooms kept at the inn are stayed in often. It is not safe many nights so late to walk or ride the distance to the cottage beyond the north wall. The morning light is grey when eyes know it to be a beautiful thing of blues, oranges, and more. Perhaps a section of the clear window could be replaced with colored pieces, like the ones seen in passing that below to one of the holy places.

It is thought there is enough coin saved to possibly pay for it. There is a shoppe at the marketplace where questions will be dared, to see to how much and how long to have such a thing made.

And a new journal is needed. This one is full to bursting!

[Sjira]

07.06.15

This morning was full of laughter! The gulls were attacking the fisherman and stealing fish! But that was not funny, it was how the seagulls dove down from the sky, fluttered and batted their wings against the grumpy heads of the fishermen and then took off with fish when the men weren't looking. None of them did this to the women!

There should not be laughing at this but still a heart is so light from the few moments of it that the birds brought.

The men are talking about putting a net over their heads, above where they work so that the birds cannot get to them tomorrow morning!

That reminds, there tiny houses for the four-winged fae sorts in the Glen need to be repainted.

[Sjira]

07.07.15

A most busy day, this day.

More beads were bought, the horseblanket for Ms. Madison has been finished, a new journal has been purchased and some things to go in these rooms at the inn. It will be nice to have the blanket with its beadwork sent to Madison in the morning. It is hoped that she will like it well.

Tonight at the inn, Amber was heard talking about fighting with an Ember, but there is no understanding who that might be. It is thought that though Amber is short that she is very strong and can hold her footing well with fighting.

The nightmares have started to fade and their strength is almost not there at all. And aches that have caused this head such pain have not been felt in three days. There is hope. There is ease.

[Sjira]

07.09.15

Two were met this night and seem of strong, kind hearts and souls. The painted one called himself Zan and his beloved is Simone. A little while was passed speaking with them.

There are questions that lips have for both of them. Perhaps they will be seen again to ask them.

[Sjira]

07.10.15

The weather was so beautiful this day! As soon as Garet and the others dockside were helped this morning, Trygg was ridden to the Glenn. A swim was taken in the waters there.

It is thought that Trygg had a great time running through the tall grasses there and to rest beneath the old, white oak near the waters. It is a very, very big tree with white back, thick boughs and red and black leaves. And there is plenty of shade beneath it to cool self there.

There is hope for more of these days, of good weather and reasons for a heart to fully ease. Perhaps next time the Elven bow that Peredhil had gifted to these hands a few years ago. Practice is needed. Lacking more than that is the courage to use it ever to harm anyone. But there is much fun in the practicing!

[Sjira]

07.15.15

Garet at the docks, friend of this heart for several of RhyDin's years is angry with me. At first, it was said to him that none would steal his wife away because any could see her ankles.

It should be said again that she is pregnant and as her stomach grows, so does Garet's jealously. It is his words that he says that no woman of his will be going about with her ankles showing.

A heart does not know whether to laugh or to be angry with him. None will steal his wife away! She is his true love and she would punch anyone in the nose who even tried to sweet-talk her away from Garet.

Laughter. It is thought best to keep it away from Garet for now. And his wife was helped with unhemming her skirts so that her ankles do not show. Gods can only understand why he is so jealous of this small thing but it was helped with.

Garet's wife promises to make a cake and that ..I am to come visit. It is thought perhaps she seeks to soothe her husband with cake and company. A smile is brought to think that she is a very smart and strong woman.

[Sjira]

07.18.15

Rains...again. It is not remembered to have been so wet in RhyDin this time of year before. The fishermen's wives are chattering on about strong nor'easters (storms that come in from the seas to hit hard against the lands to the north-east) or gail'strums (storms that come in hard from the south-east and seem to be something especially particular to RhyDin). And talks of heavy snows.

This is a time when council from a Llothgarian elder would be sought. This and many other times, but there are none within RhyDin and to travel to ones homelands again could risk another rift in time. A heart greatly worries over that happening again. Too much time was lost the last two times gone there.

Suddenly, there is a longing for the harsh lands of Llothgar. Perhaps one day some from there will be seen travelling in the lands of RhyDin.

[Sjira]

07.18.15

Rains...again. It is not remembered to have been so wet in RhyDin this time of year before. The fishermen's wives are chattering on about strong nor'easters (storms that come in from the seas to hit hard against the lands to the north-east) or gail'strums (storms that come in hard from the south-east and seem to be something especially particular to RhyDin). And talks of heavy snows.

This is a time when council from a Llothgarian elder would be sought. This and many other times, but there are none within RhyDin and to travel to ones homelands again could risk another rift in time. A heart greatly worries over that happening again. Too much time was lost the last two times gone there.

Suddenly, there is a longing for the harsh lands of Llothgar. Perhaps one day some from there will be seen travelling in the lands of RhyDin.

[Sjira]

07.22.15

The bow was practiced with in the Glen this day. These hands have no talent for it and another harm was done to this right hand. Master Kiroth would not have been proud of the failure with it, but a heart knew he might have found humor in it.

Still, though there is failure in it and the pipes played sometimes they will be practiced with more. Perhaps one day hands will know how to do well at both.

[Sjira]

07.25.15

Peredhil was seen this night! How happy this heart is to have seen him. Time was spent a little with him, Simone, and Zan at the inn before a walk was taken with Peredhil alone to spend much of the night talking with him in the Glen.

There was talk of Panther's great absence, of swimming and riding, of friendship. A heart is overjoyed that Peredhil is returned and hope that he does not steal away again.

It is known that we both have known the pain of loss but there is ease of this very heart and soul that he is hear. Perhaps the pains will lessen.

Talked about too is to spend more time. The Glen will be where swimming, riding, and more practice of the bow will be had. Sleep does not come easy this night with too much excitement about it.

[Sjira]

07.27.15

It is two hours into this morning and sleep will not come.

Peredhil is back in RhyDin and a heart is so light. Such a dear and close friend. Nearly all of this day was spent with him in the Glen. Food, drink, practice at bow, walking, swimming. And very long talks.

It is as if we had never been apart all these years. And it is thought there is more. So much more. It is wrong to think that there is more than a friendship? Lips have not dared speak what a heart is tugging at. But there is an excitement to see him and a happiness.

But darkly, a heart remembers the pain caused by Panther's absences, and pain caused to Hawk because Panther was all that was thought of. And then towards Kruger when one was gone too long to Llothgar and time... it passes so differently there than in RhyDin.

Can it be hoped for? It is. Is truly is. But lips did not say anything yet. It is not dared. Perhaps Peredhil will be a very good friend and the gods will be kind to this heart and soul in this way. Perhaps it is best not to allow closeness. There had never been found a lasting happiness at it. Who is to know?