Turn your party into memories which will be cherished forever.
Clowns! Puppeteers! Exotic Dancers! Entertainers of All Sorts!
Our Elvii are the highest rated in the Galaxy!
We have Elvis in all the major species and sexes! Every one of our Elvii is Certified to be bursting with the Essence of Elvis by Graceland Inter-dimensional. They understand that Elvis is a state of mind, and so do we!
Never go without an Elvis that you can relate to again. All of our Elvii are current Priests of Elvis, and are licensed to perform most civil and religious ceremonies (and now including bris!).
Ask about our exclusive Wedding/Infant Naming Ceremony package!
Our Adults-Only exotic dancers are are personally screened by Miss Babcock, former Miss Exotic Dancer Unlimited and author of the acclaimed exotic dancing publication: 'Three's Erotic, Four's Horrifying: the Mammal Conundrum in Exotic Dance'.
Every species and sex of the most delectable and skilled dancers are on our highly regarded rosters. From the classical Dance of Seven Veils to the Fly Guy, the Salome Slink (head of your enemy is optional and extra) to the Barroom Blitz featuring the Famed Seven Dwarf Dancers, we have it all!
Our dancers are so amazing, we guarantee that you will be enthralled or your money back!
YES! WE RENT GRANDPARENTS!
All species, all sexes! Single or custom pairs and groups. Long term contracts available!
Most of our grandparents are the highly desired "Triple Threats" – skilled at Yarn Craft, Story Telling, and Baking.
Why Settle For Less?!? What are you waiting for?!? You and your children deserve the kind of grandparents that make real and lasting memories!
All of our grandparents are thoroughly screened and vetted before acceptance into our rosters, and we encourage you to do the same. Only the safest and sanest and most healthy people are hired on here. We also perform random checks on our grandparents in long term contracts to assure ourselves that all is well.
All of our Clowns are absolutely free of evil – Guaranteed!!!
They are screened weekly for any signs of demonic possession and are highly educated on all of the proper soul protection protocols. We double down the anti-demonic protection on our ventriloquist and puppet acts, because here at Precious Memories, we want you and your children to experience the kind of entertainment that will bring laughter and delight rather than therapy and legal involvement.
(Disclaimer: Clowns Spanky and Anna Wrecksya are exempt as they are adult-only entertainers! No Exceptions!)
Finally, you can never accidentally order an adult only performer for your darling children. Not even on purpose! We take safety seriously here, all of our contracts for performance are checked over, and each of our performers arrives with a guardian specially chosen from our sister company "Body Guards, Assassins, and Debt Recovery". Bear in mind, you will never know when a dentist will be chosen to watch over our acts!
Call Now!
Our popular acts are booked months in advance, call early for your best holiday selection! Come to our NEW Website and look through the hundreds of videos of our fabulous performers. We have something for Every one and Every thing!
~~~~Clowns! Puppeteers! Exotic Dancers! Entertainers of All Sorts!
Our Elvii are the highest rated in the Galaxy!
We have Elvis in all the major species and sexes! Every one of our Elvii is Certified to be bursting with the Essence of Elvis by Graceland Inter-dimensional. They understand that Elvis is a state of mind, and so do we!
Never go without an Elvis that you can relate to again. All of our Elvii are current Priests of Elvis, and are licensed to perform most civil and religious ceremonies (and now including bris!).
Ask about our exclusive Wedding/Infant Naming Ceremony package!
Our Adults-Only exotic dancers are are personally screened by Miss Babcock, former Miss Exotic Dancer Unlimited and author of the acclaimed exotic dancing publication: 'Three's Erotic, Four's Horrifying: the Mammal Conundrum in Exotic Dance'.
Every species and sex of the most delectable and skilled dancers are on our highly regarded rosters. From the classical Dance of Seven Veils to the Fly Guy, the Salome Slink (head of your enemy is optional and extra) to the Barroom Blitz featuring the Famed Seven Dwarf Dancers, we have it all!
Our dancers are so amazing, we guarantee that you will be enthralled or your money back!
YES! WE RENT GRANDPARENTS!
All species, all sexes! Single or custom pairs and groups. Long term contracts available!
Most of our grandparents are the highly desired "Triple Threats" – skilled at Yarn Craft, Story Telling, and Baking.
Why Settle For Less?!? What are you waiting for?!? You and your children deserve the kind of grandparents that make real and lasting memories!
All of our grandparents are thoroughly screened and vetted before acceptance into our rosters, and we encourage you to do the same. Only the safest and sanest and most healthy people are hired on here. We also perform random checks on our grandparents in long term contracts to assure ourselves that all is well.
All of our Clowns are absolutely free of evil – Guaranteed!!!
They are screened weekly for any signs of demonic possession and are highly educated on all of the proper soul protection protocols. We double down the anti-demonic protection on our ventriloquist and puppet acts, because here at Precious Memories, we want you and your children to experience the kind of entertainment that will bring laughter and delight rather than therapy and legal involvement.
(Disclaimer: Clowns Spanky and Anna Wrecksya are exempt as they are adult-only entertainers! No Exceptions!)
Finally, you can never accidentally order an adult only performer for your darling children. Not even on purpose! We take safety seriously here, all of our contracts for performance are checked over, and each of our performers arrives with a guardian specially chosen from our sister company "Body Guards, Assassins, and Debt Recovery". Bear in mind, you will never know when a dentist will be chosen to watch over our acts!
Call Now!
Our popular acts are booked months in advance, call early for your best holiday selection! Come to our NEW Website and look through the hundreds of videos of our fabulous performers. We have something for Every one and Every thing!
(OOC - Feel free to use any of the characters listed or make your own. Just remember, they are all mentally stable!)
