Morning Whispers; Quiet Confessions

[Penny Escobar]

Early morning 1/21/2020

Dressed in pieced together sleepwear that wasn’t her own, but Patrick’s, smoking from a pack of cigarettes that also belonged to him, Penny was perched on the balcony watching a sight she’d not seen in over twenty years: the sun rising from the horizon from the pilot’s seaside apartment balcony. The chill in the January air cued her in that she’d been crying when she felt the sharp cold along her cheek. Happy tears, unexpected at the sudden realization that she’d finally returned home after such a long trial away.

It was all a lot to process, but one that she knew she’d have to get started on sooner than later. This wasn’t going to be a time when she could shut down, even if that might be the easiest thing to do. She had missed weeks here, a change of the season, countless jobs (though she was certain to never hear the end of it from Mai), and according to Mallory a kaiju being woken up to fight against an elder god. But that was just a small fraction of what had happened in this world, not the two decades of time she’d have to explain. There were new habits she’d formed, new strengths she’d discovered, knowledge gained and abilities she’d honed. Titles she'd earned. Maybe not everything would be explained in a single sitting, but she tried to piece together some of the shocking details of the stories she’d be sharing in the near future.

Her gaze pulled from the rising sun and to herself, the cigarette butt held in her lips pulling the last bit of nicotine possible to try and sooth and calm her in this quiet moment of self-reflection. It wasn’t enough, it didn’t sooth the right itch she decided, which probably meant she’d be visiting Mallory and Eri sooner than later. Pinching out the flame for the ashtray, the wizard brushed her fingertips clean as the butt was discarded there and her lips released that last stream of smoke.

The sound of movement, someone stirring, maybe it was Patrick, maybe Red, or more likely both, led to her turning around to spy his figure in the doorway of the balcony. She’d come inside first, fight the temptation to just lead him back to a bed and fill it with carnal distractions that lead to exhausted limbs, muddled minds and quiet professions of love. It was easier to just let herself drown in that ocean of love and desire, but what if she’d changed in ways he didn’t like in twenty years? There were new scars, at the very least he’d have noticed those.
Penny knew she’d have to start sometime, so it may as well be now.

“I have to tell you a lot of things, and they might not all come out right, or in order. But know that its all the truth as I’ve seen it,” she started off promising and seeking out a hand to hold and likely direct her focus to from time to time.

“I’ve only been gone here for a couple of months, but I’ve actually been away for much longer than that. A bit over twenty years by the standards of where I was.” She didn’t wait for the confusion or shock to settle in on him and continued further. “Here, I had discovered that MoonBeryl was still in my possession, through trickery or what I’m not sure. Its possible that I never actually gave you MoonBeryl to throw out into the Black, and instead gave you a veil covered item – or it managed to return to me even after being put into the void of space. I’m not certain, but I kept hearing a voice – not MoonBeryl’s mind you – but another, that I had to abandon it and its tether it had to me on this world. So I left it in the Outback. I was heading to go see Mallory at the Tower of Earth, on the Twilight Isle?” Pausing long enough to look at his face to see if he was following along and gave an inaudible cue of recognition.

“I was in route to the Tower’s main entrance, which at the time was up a mountain of rocky stairs and saw something hovering in the air. I know now that it was a tear in space and time, but back then I had no idea. I don’t know how to describe it, except that I thought it was a tangible object to grab out of the air only when I touched it, I was immediately pulled through it. So now I’m moving through a …vacuum of time and space, its nothing like when I use a portal or travel through the Ways, but at the same time I don’t know how else to explain it. Colors, objects, stars are all blurred, everything moves so fast while it feels like my body is being compressed and released in rapid succession until all of the sudden, it wasn’t dark anymore, but bright and warm.

And then the sensation of flying – only I’m falling. Things are starting to come into view and feels hotter and hotter. And that’s when I realized, I’m crashing down into the ground and I have to break my fall. I just barely managed to both get a rocky shell around me as I’m tumbling through trees and then slamming into the ground. There’s fire breaking out, the creak and groan of crashing trees and limbs, and the ringing in my ears hide that there’s people running to me and calling out.

I’m disoriented for a while, but eventually I realize these people know me. They’re calling me by name. It was thought I just had some selective amnesia for a long time, but no, not exactly true. It isn’t until a while later when I meet a guy named Mikazuki that someone finally starts to believe me when I say that I don’t belong there, and I need help figuring out how to get back home. Which honestly, wasn’t easy. Years of what I can only label as chasing rumors, raising money, fighting false leads, and heartbreaking failures. Twenty years of a lot of doing what I do, trying to get stronger and better to just. Get. Home.”

Penny paused long enough to squeeze the hand still in hers, her focus on Patrick as she continued on. “I learned a lot of things in this time. About myself, about others. About magic and strength and different worlds. I might be a little different now, but I don’t know how much. What I’m about to tell you next will be confusing but know that it’s the absolute truth. When I arrived there, Mikazuki introduced me to his three-year-old daughter. PJ.”

“It wasn’t until recently that I’ve come to the realization that she is my own daughter, and not just another version of me somewhere out there. But that I apparently jump back in time to at least that other world to have her – or is a time jumping version of me still me at all? Its confusing in that I believe she’s real and really mine, but I haven’t actually had her yet, and if I had forgone the bond between you and I then I wouldn’t be able to do any of this at all and----” She finally cut herself off as the explanation started to shift into a rambling mess.

“This taught me that I’m a mother. And I will do anything for my kid or kids. I just thought…. I just thought that would be something you’d need to know.”