Petty lies; Heartbreak Woes

With but few exceptions, it is always the underdog who wins through sheer willpower. -Johnny Weissmuller

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Petty lies; Heartbreak Woes

Post by Penny Escobar »

It was a cozy cafe, small but quiet and quaint. The town was too small for it to be a place overrun by tourists or hipsters, but the former might be more due to the off-season than the cafe's location. I'd been meaning to check it out sooner, but out of habit I tended to stick to my own personal neck of the woods and rarely escaped my cave when I wasn't working.

I'd convinced myself that this meeting was two things: healthy for my mental state because socializing was good for humans, even if I was all too often a poster child for a hermit, and it was NOT a date. Just two old friends who hadn't seen each other in more than a decade catching up over a cup of coffee. I shouldn't be so narcissistic and egotistical to think that my acceptance to catching up with a guy I had dated a million years ago, when we were still children, would be anything but a casual meeting. Old friends do this all the time and it doesn't mean anything, and whatever anxiety I was feeling in the rolling knots of my stomach was due to stepping out of my comfort zone.

Or I was constipated and the cup of coffee I was about to have would help regulate me and things would be normal again.

I had stepped inside the cafe and was still attempting to scan the faces of those seated when the door bells jingled once more and he stepped in behind me. As I was checking over my shoulder he was already calling my name, with his arms wide open expecting an immediate embrace.

****. This is a date.

I had purposely not dressed up for this to keep things casual and showed up in a pair of blue jeans that I almost but not quite had the last time I saw him and a t-shirt I'd picked up a thrift store that wasn't even a favorite. It was clean and that was about the extent of thought I'd given to the outfit before I pulled it on.

But Jordan had done the exact opposite.

"Penny it's been ages! It's so good to see you." His smile wasn't quite ear to ear, but it was wide enough to cause the corners of his eyes, the beginnings of crow's feet now, to crease into the features of his face.

He was asking me a question with one palm still on my back while trying to keep me close to him, but my attention was already split between him and the barista who had been trying to get us to order and stop blocking the way to the counter. My eyes were already glazing over, but I hoped that my smile looked genuine enough to him to suggest that I was listening.

I wasn't, but he hadn't seemed to notice yet. "Mocha latte please," I said over to the barista apologetically. This was a subtle enough cue for Jordan to place his drink order too, and in a matter of minutes we were both seated opposite each other at a table off to the side.

He'd gotten noticeably older, but he was probably barely twenty-one the last time I saw him and I had been a hair's breadth past eighteen. Weight had settled around his midsection in the mildest of beer guts and he had opted to keep his once wavy light brown hair short to make his receding hair line less obvious. Lucky for him, the stubble look for his beard was in, but I could see grey already peppering itself in against his slight olive toned skin.

I found myself wondering about the color of his eyes. Had his eyes always been blue-green? Or is that a blue grey? I either couldn't remember or I had never paid that much attention in the first place. The thought was briefly disappointing, but I didn't give it much more thought and instead continued the light conversation of how my day had been.

"Yeah, I had a meeting earlier with a business partner today, which is why I'm dressed up," he explained while thick fingers, clean but calloused, plucked at the pale blue dress shirt he wore. At least he isn't wearing a tie, I told myself. "But I admit to feeling a little overdressed," he said while his eyes dipped down to my t-shirt, bemused. "What does your shirt say?"

"I told you, I was in the middle of running errands," I said apologetically as I glanced down to the faded grey fabric of the t-shirt. "Double Dare. You remember that old game show on TV when we were kids?" The logo was well on its way to being completely washed out, but I knew what my shirt said. At least, I was fairly sure that's what it said.

"Oh, I know, I know. I'm just trying to give you a hard time. I'm going to tease you Penny." He added a wink to the end of that in case I was dense enough to not realize it. "But don't I look nice?" His arms up and out to his sides like he was a middle aging Vanna White.

"Oh, yes of course," I tried to laugh, but it was forced. He didn't seem to notice, he hadn't heard me laugh in more than a decade after all. "You clean up nice Jordan, it is good to see you."

His laugh was sincere, and I would have felt bad for lying to him if he hadn't been so obviously fishing for a compliment from me. "I'm teasing you again Penny," a singsong in his tone now.

I reached for my coffee and made like I was hiding my amusement behind the rim of the oversized cup. I couldn't remember why I had agreed to this now.

Jordan went on to catch me up on the ten years plus that I had missed of his life, but only after I had dished out the bare minimum details of my own. I had skipped things and gone out of order unintentionally, but I had started to relax and even enjoy myself a little in the process. Maybe I had overthought things and assumed too much. Maybe this wasn't a date, but just old friends having coffee.

But then I realized a couple of things. He'd mentioned more than once how much money he was making, given me an odd look when I admitted that I wasn't certain that I was physically capable of bearing children, and was very interested in the curtain situation that was my love life (non-existent).

"No, it sounds like he was a bad guy Penny," he was saying in regards to my last breakup while shaking his head. I could only shrug in response and lifted my coffee up for another sip even though the cup was now empty. Disappointed, I set the cup back down, expecting to forget it was empty in the next thirty seconds.

"Yeah, I'm drama free now, no more playing games and the boys are almost of age that I don't need to pay for child care anymore. Alex, the oldest will be 13 next year and he can watch Darren. They're staying at a friend's house tonight for a sleepover." He looked up at me with a heavy look in his eyes, but I wasn't fourteen anymore so the too sly innuendo wouldn't make me blush.

"Oh, so Single Dad out on the prowl tonight then?" I was trying to make a joke, while he thought I was giving him an opening.

"Would you like to go to dinner tonight? Maybe catch a movie?" He looked hopeful, overeager.

"I can't. I have to get back in," glancing at the clock. "Fifteen minutes, remember? Have to go back at six." I felt like I just kicked a puppy as I watched his face.

I did my best to brush off his surge of disappointment, then made things worse as I started to stand. "Probably should be heading back now in fact."

I watched him rise and somehow managed to survive another series of hugs and what I hoped to the stars wasn't a kiss against my hair meant for my cheek. My goodbyes were quick things, but his weren't. He wanted to walk me back to my car, and when he found out that I had walked to the cafe, he wanted to drive me back himself.

After insisting that I was fine and waiting for him to get into his Durango, which he pointed out was the brand-new model, I waved to him before he headed down the street in the opposite direction and breathed a quiet sigh of relief. It was over. I was free.

Or I thought I was until I got back and discovered the blinking light on the answering machine. It was Jordan.
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Re: Petty lies; Heartbreak Woes

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"Ugh you were right Joey," I groaned as I collapsed face down into the old and weathered couch.

"I'm always right about these things," he informed me while leaning back in a nearby recliner. It creaked softly in a steady rhythm for a bit as he rocked back and forth, amused at my predicament. "What happened?"

I waited until I heard the click and fizz of a beer can opening before lifting my head just enough that I could see him take the first sip. I told him about the afternoon at the cafe without leaving many details out. I told him about how Jordan had dressed up, was divorced with full custody of his two practically teenage boys, and wasn't exactly being pushy but was..."

"Over eager?" Joey asked, filling in a blank while I had been searching for the right word to describe Jordan.

"You know, yeah. That's exactly it," I said while rolling over to my side on the couch to face him. "Stars and stones, he was trying to pick up right where we had left off, but didn't want me to forget what I did to him when we were kids. He mentioned more than once our last date in his car before," I repeated the same vague hand gesture Jordan had earlier, a slight wave of the hand to indicate you know.

"Before you dumped him." Joey nodded as he filled in another blank.

I rolled my eyes, but continued. "But that wasn't the last time I saw him. We worked in a restaurant together for a summer about a year after that. I went to his sister's wedding. Though maybe the latter doesn't count too much, since I only remember waving at him across the room. So much time has passed, I don't even remember when that was."

"Seems like a long time to hold a grudge. Maybe it's a torch." He continued to drink, dark eyes alight with mirth. He was enjoying my obvious discomfort. But what else are best friends for?

"Ugh," I groaned again, laying back down on the couch to stare at the cobweb spotted ceiling. "I'm awful, no one needs to hold a torch for me for," I trailed off and did the math again. I audibly balked at the time span.

"Hey," Joey called out and a pillow suddenly dropped down and slammed me in the face. "Don't be stupid. You're worth more than you give yourself credit for. You're obviously not interested in this guy, and you don't toy with people. You'll let him down easy and won't lead him on. But don't let him be the excuse you use to keep hiding from the world."

"I'm not hiding from the world," protesting from under the pillow while wishing for a blanket to pull over me.

"You're home alone on a Saturday night, talking to the imaginary ghost of your best friend," his voice grew quieter with every word.

I frowned against the pillow, turned away from the recliner and let loose the tears that had been threatening to fall.
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Re: Petty lies; Heartbreak Woes

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Mini story: The Mad Scientist

Why am I here again?

The question was a constant rattle in my head as I stared at the blonde sitting across the table from me. Sure, he was handsome in a simple straight forward kind of way. He looked as though he stepped out of a late 90s GAP advertisement, but then again if he suddenly broke out in swing dance I might have been mildly impressed.

I think it was the plain khakis and the plain t shirt that did it. The clean-cut blonde hair on top, the freshly shaven features of his face, the mix of dark grey and blue of his eyes. And the penny-loafers on his feet. Maybe he had stepped out of the 90s. I couldn't judge him for that though, it wasn't as if I had impressive style in my repertoire. In fact, I was sure the shirt I was wearing was brand new in the 90s, but the label had disappeared before I had picked it up at the thrift store.

He was talking about something, but I had stopped listening about ten minutes ago, only giving the occasional nod or low affirmative sound as I chewed on the sad excuse for a wrap in front of me. It wasn't until he had looked up at me expectantly after shoveling spinach into his mouth that I realized he had asked me a question.

I felt my eyes widen in slight embarrassment and lifted my hand in front of my mouth hoping to shield the food as I half chewed and spoke, "I'm sorry, could you repeat that? Hard to hear with the crowd." The action also managed to hide (I hoped) my shame and the warmth sliding up my neck.

With luck, he bought the excuse though he looked me over with a rather clinical gaze. "What do you do to work out? I'm looking for alternative programs beyond swimming to build up my strength."

Oh, that's right, I reminded myself. He's a swimmer. That's why I agreed to go on a second date with Misha after our bland coffee date. Because there was an intriguing promise of a muscled physique underneath the preppy clothing and mostly boring personality. For some reason, I didn't think telling him that I swing an ax on the regular and hunted monsters for work would go over well.

"I run. Through the woods," I replied. Which was true, just not the whole truth. I didn't think the star of the GAP AD would accept a casual explanation that I was a Wizard and did peculiar things like train in Krav Maga and Kendo out of a necessity as opposed to fun.

I was pretty sure the Wizard part would trip him up. I think he said he was a scientist?

"Ah, I don't think more cardio would be beneficial for what I'm looking for then." He dismissed the idea quickly and brushed his hands off with a napkin. It was tossed on his plate and he laid both hands on the table top while looking at me expectantly. "Now, would you like to go have sex?"
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Re: Petty lies; Heartbreak Woes

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The Mad Scientist part 2

"You did not," Joey said in disbelief while shaking his head. The grill was opened and he was pulling back on the foil wrapped ribs to check their color.

"Pretty sure it's the loudest I've ever laughed in public." I affirmed for him before thinking to add on, "Sober I mean."

"Louder than when that skinhead monkey asked you out at The Spot?" Joey looked up from his work with a sly grin.

"Misha at least took it a lot better than that guy did. His face didn't turn purple or red at least with anger." I shrugged and cracked open a beer can from the cooler. Once I had a cold swallow in me, I continued the story to Joey.

"It just came out of nowhere, his proposition. It was all: Boom! Hi now that we've finished eating and we've exhausted any efforts of small talk would you like to go," I waved my hand in a vague gesture to let Joey fill in the rest.

The idea that I couldn't bring myself to repeat the incident amused Joey that much more.

"Bang like bunnies? Bump uglies? Bury his bone? Make the beast with two backs? Oh oh! Roast the Broomstick." The last one had him pointing a pair of tongs in my direction, his grin wide.

"I don't ride a ****ing broomstick." I scoffed.

"Bedroom rodeo. Feed your kitty. Eat your taco," he kept going.

"Is the food finished yet?" I asked, trying to cut him off.

"Why, you feel like a bone?"

"JOEY!"

"No need to scream my name yet, you can save it for the bedroom." Primly, but with a grin.

"Stars and stones man," I tried to look angry, but when I knew I was failing at it I just lifted the beer for another drink to hide my laughter.

"Did I tell you that he ate salad with his hands?"

"What?" He actually stopped and looked up, confused.

"Yeah, though I mean, maybe it was a cultural thing or something. He's not from around here. Russian I think."

"...That's not a Russian thing." Shaking his head and focusing back on the grill. "But since he isn't as suave as myself, I see why you didn't take him up on his offer for sex."

"Oh no, yeah I did sleep with him. After I laughed for about five minutes straight, he was still sitting there patiently waiting, expecting an answer. So we went back to his place around the corner from the restaurant."

Joey just looked up with a silent look suggesting And how was it?

"Honestly? Eh."
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Re: Petty lies; Heartbreak Woes

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The Mad Scientist part 3

"I know you said you liked living off the grid, but this is a little ridiculous," annoyance hung heavy in his tone, the edge in his voice making the words clipped and his diction sharp.

Sharper than I remembered, but that wasn't why my head snapped up and my breath caught in my chest. My fingers curled upwards into a readying fist, but I made sure to not squeeze tight enough to allow my knuckles to pop as I turned around on the nature trail through the park, slowly with the secret hope that I was misreading the sound of his voice.

"Why haven't you returned any of my phone calls?"

Certain it was high strung impatience spilling from him, but I was blinking in surprise at Misha's question. When he closed the few yards between us, I found myself involuntarily stepping backwards off the path till my heel hooked onto a tree root and I nearly slipped.

He caught my wrist with a reach of his hand, kept me on my feet but didn't opt to let go. I didn't have enough time to even murmur thanks before he was talking again.

"And don't give me an excuse about that answering machine of yours being on the fritz. Join the twenty first century and shell out for voicemail or a cell phone."

Well, there went my excuse. But to be fair, I hadn't realized he'd been calling anyway, I was just headed home for the first time in five days because of work. What did he think I did for a living again? Nature tour guide? I certainly hadn't told him the truth.

The grip on my wrist grew stronger, enough that I pointedly looked down at his hand and then back up to his face.

"Will you let go of my arm please?" I hoped I sounded calm and not threatening in any manner. I wasn't sure what kind of potential bomb I was dealing with yet. Hopefully just a mild smoke bomb and not a Claymore.

"Oh, the quiet little accountant speaks." Rolling his eyes and releasing my wrist then, but he didn't step back.

I was pretty sure he was trying to loom but because he wasn't a ten-foot-tall werewolf I was less than impressed and made a note that he was incapable of intimidating me. (Though really a ten-foot werewolf would probably only make me cautious if anything.)

At least I knew now that I told him I worked with numbers, in hopes to avoid any work questions. No one ever wants to talk work with an accountant.

But really, I was not in the mood for this. I was tired and dirty and about to be really hangry after these last few days. I pinched the bridge of my nose to fight off the pending headache and exhaled trying to decide if I was going to lie or not.

Then a sudden realization hit me. I didn't need to give him any excuses.

I met his eyes briefly with a frown as my hand fell back to my side. "Why would I call you back? I thought it was a one night stand, not a commitment."

"We weren't drunk, there wasn't any walk of shame at three in the morning. We had a nice lunch and then we went back to my place to have sex. And you had a good time. I could tell." Defensively, he added that last bit.

I hoped my eyes didn't squint in disbelief at him for that, but I could feel them twitch. "And you thought that we could what? Have lunch and sex again?" I couldn't remember which was more enjoyable, that wrap I ordered or him laying on top of me.

"Well," he almost trailed off in his hesitation. The realization that I wasn't interested must have finally been hitting home. "Yeah, like you have anything better to do? Do you see me?" He might have been two seconds from hauling up his shirt to show me his rippling abs, but the weather wasn't warm enough. Winter may have been fading, but Spring didn't have its full grasp yet.

Blank faced and staring, I didn't respond. I could see him. I just wasn't interested in a mild-mannered repeat of semi okay sex. Stepping away from him and heading back down the trail as I shook my head, "It's not going to work out Misha."

"Hey!" He snapped and hurried after me, grabbing my arms to pin them at my sides. "Girls don't walk away from me. You don't get to walk away from me!"

If I had told him the truth about me earlier, I wondered if he'd still been this foolish.

As soon as he grabbed me, I dropped down as if about to pop a squat, shifted my hips to the left and slammed the base of my right palm solidly against his groin. Like I knew he'd do, he released me with a sudden groan of pain, and I was already swinging my elbow back into his stomach and pulling away while turning around. He was already doubling over and landing on the ground, his face a rush of scarlet and his eyes shut tight in pain.

"No see," pointing a finger down at him unconcerned if he'd open his eyes in time to see the gesture as I spoke. "You don't get to demand touch from someone when they've told you no. Not even when they've said okay in the past. I'm not interested and don't call me again. Got that?"

I didn't have to wait long for a response. "Got it," he wheezed and stayed on the ground.

Turning around then and heading off in the opposite direction along the trail, I headed off. I needed a shower, some food, some sleep and to begin packing for some place called Rhydin.
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Re: Petty lies; Heartbreak Woes

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(Originally posted on Sept 9, 2017)

"Joey I need you," I announced as I knelt on the wooden floor in front of one of my trunks. Fingers flipped at the brass latches to open and the lid was pulled back with a mild creek showing its age.

"Probably in more ways than one, but what's up?" He was seated on the floor beside a full length framed mirror that leaned against one side of the curved stone wall, a book open in his lap. One page was standing straight up as if he was caught in the act of turning it.

I was sifting through the clothes and shoes that were either half folded or half simply tossed inside the trunk before I gave him a slanted look and leaned back on my bare heels.

"I don't know what to wear." I complained.

"What are you, thirteen?" He didn't have to roll his eyes, but had the audacity to look amused.

It both annoyed and frustrated me that he was enjoying this.

"I'm serious." Showing my displeasure in a huff.

"Well Hi Serious, my name is..."

I cut him off before he could finish. "Don't you Dad joke me right now. I really don't need that."

The smile on his face slackened and the glitter in his eyes dimmed. "Okay, what's the problem? Isn't this just some pre-date jitters or something? Just put on some lace panties, shave your legs and wash your hair so you don't smell like sawdust. No dude will care what the **** you're wearing if you do the first two. The last one is to make you feel less self-conscious."

"What? No! This isn't a date," immediately protesting as I shook my head and tried to look back through the trunk. But then I rolled my eyes so hard I thought they might pop out of my head. "Ugh whateve...Wait, what the ****, I smell like sawdust?" Frowning at him, I pulled fabric out and laid it in my lap.

"Mostly walnuts actually. And earthy, but more fresh Springtime than rotting dirt in a damp Autumn. Like freshly cut wood. Some iron and other metals mixed in maybe. You always reminded me of a hardware store come to think of it."

"I smell like a hardware store." Deadpanned as I repeated him before scoffing and looking down to my lap to see what I had pulled out. "I'm surprised I haven't attracted more handymen or carpenters."

"I've always been surprised by that too." He admitted as his gaze fell to where mine had. "Hey I haven't seen that since my..."

Looking up my brown eyes implored him with a silent please don't say it. Please.

He stayed quiet, but I was grateful for his attempt at a sad smile.

Funeral.

Even unsaid the word echoed loudly in my head as I frowned down at the dress. It had a black background, but that was the closest thing to somber about it. There were a few peacocks printed on it, in shades of pink and light green with pink flowers, peonies I noted. A thin red cord belted at the waist to provide a subtle hint of hips that would be underneath it when worn, a deep enough v shaped neckline to suggest cleavage but not enough to be suggestive or scandalous. It was longer in the back than in the front, but even the front hemline covered my knees.

"It's the only dress I have right now," I confessed as though I kept any secrets from him. I didn't when Joey was alive. I certainly didn't do so now.

The dress wasn't originally mine. It had been my mother's once upon a time.

"I need a happier memory attached to it. So it wouldn't sting to look at it.

"Wear the dress then. You always looked nice in it. Eau de Cologne a la Home Depot and all."

I sighed while rearranging my legs to allow me to sit flat on the ground then. "Maybe. I don't know." Shrugging before shaking my head and looking back over to him. "But anyways, this isn't what I'm concerned about."

"Go for some red lace ones. Or black. Every guy loves --"

"JOEY! No! Stars and stones, he is not seeing my underwear. This is not a date. He is too young."

"How young is too young?" Curious and still amused as he watched me.

"Tim showed me an article on him from earlier this year. Said he was seventeen."

Joey let out a slow whistle. "You cougar!"

"Oh for ****s sake."

He laughed, and I balled up the dress in my hands to throw it at him. I didn't miss, but the dress couldn't cause him any harm. "Relax, relax," he said, still laughing between words. "I don't see what the big deal is. You're going to have to get used to age differences like this eventually. You said before that Wizards don't age like humans do. That it could take you a century to look even, what, forty?"

"Maybe. If that. It's not like there's a hard science behind it or a ratio like dog to human years. That I know of anyways." Pulling my knees up towards my chest, my arms wrapped around my legs as I rested my chin to my left kneecap. "I don't know. It's not that I care so much about the number, it's that I'd want him," a slight glare at Joey's smirk, "or whomever was going to get so far as to seeing my underwear to be confident enough to ask to see them. I think Trick is too shy for that right now."

"Also you know," as I lifted my head back up, "I only just met him a couple of days ago. I think if he had asked to get in my pants already I'd slap him."

"Sounds like he's damned if he do and damned if he don't." Joey snorted.

"I'm a woman, I'm allowed to be fickle." Feigning a prim and proper air, I loosened my grasp around my legs to let them fall and curl cross legged.

"My point is: I think he's still trying to find himself, and I'm not out to pressure him or force him to do so. I remember being that age and I had a lot of people pressuring me to be older and act the way they wanted me to instead of me getting to do it myself, remember? But he's nice and a little sweet, cute and not a creep. So, yeah it's been flattering that he'd even remotely flirt with me in his own way. But I'm not of the mind that this is anywhere near the realm of a date until he officially asks me out on one. And I don't know that that's going to happen anyways."

"Why's that?"

I couldn't hide the wince. "He asked me the other night for my phone number and I told him that I don't have a phone."

"But I thought he called Tim's line and you spoke to him."

"Yeah, but that was after I said that and remembered that I had one of Tim's business cards in my bag. But you should have seen it Joey. Ugh, I was so embarrassed. I wasn't thinking. I wasn't ready with the explanation."

"The ole 'Hi I'm a Wizard and I've probably already caused the cell phone in your pocket to die, hiccup or explode?"

"Something like that."

Joey looked amused for a bit and then blinked. "Wait if you aren't concerned about how old he is, or whether it's a date then what are you worried about?"

"The race is in Stars End, which is basically covered in super tech and way futuristic from what I understand. And while the stadium itself is probably safe enough, it runs on the same basic rules that the city here does. There are no rules." I explained to him.

"Ohhhhhhh," as the realization hit him. "And you're worried about walking in there and acting like a massive EMP."

"Exactly," I confirmed with a nod. "Though I don't honestly think I could wipe out the entire place, especially when I'm not intending on doing any magic there. But I don't know how sensitive the equipment out there is. I could go out there and everything work fine around me. But knowing my luck..."

"Shouldn't take the cloak. That alone is probably enough to tamper with any type of delicate tech, but maybe you can test that theory. Just you know, another time. When you have backup. Any team members in town?"

Frowning as I shrugged and then shook my head. "No idea. I'll worry about that another time if I have to. So no cloak. Maybe just charge my rings and bracelet up and treat it like one of my runs then?"

"I've seen you take out a city block with less when pushed into a fight. I think you'll be fine if someone gets the urge to cross you for whatever reason."

I felt the smile creep onto my face as I pushed myself up off the floor and reached to take the dress from him. "I had help."

"I'm still helping you darlin'. Don't you worry. Now remember what I said. Red or Black--"

"DAMN IT JOEY."
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Re: Petty lies; Heartbreak Woes

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After midnight 9/28/2017

Walking away from the Inn, I drifted through Old Market in search of a shop that had nightly hours for its more nocturnal patrons of the city. There I purchased a single candle and found myself being pulled in the direction of Seaside, which I had yet to spend a great amount of time in since I had arrived in the realm. Though there were still some bars and restaurants still open at this hour, I didn't have any intention of drinking or eating the rest of the night away.

I could still taste the Oreo pie Trick had brought me, and felt a slow warming blush creep up over my cheeks. It felt nice, the subtle flirtations, the soft fluttering of nervous butterflies in the pit of my stomach when I spotted the flash of a smile, the warm way his eyes felt when they came my way.

"You like him," the sing song teasing tone of Joey's voice filled my ears before I spotted him alongside me.

I felt a brow lift as I did my best to glare his way, but I knew the smile on my face ruined it. So, I looked away, failing then at covering up an audible laugh. "I haven't denied that." I didn't try to play coy and ask who he meant either since there was little point to it.

"You didn't ask him to join you," the teasing tone left his voice once it was clear the game was over.

"Too soon for something like that," I reminded him while shaking my head and paused to give a long look up towards the nearby stone manor there in Seaside. Tucking the candle underneath one arm, my now free hand reached out towards the rock of the wall as I grew overly curious.

"Here's a good spot," I heard him say in the opposite direction. Looking over to him, I let my hand fall back to my side and followed him.

It was a cluster of trees that had grown several feet from the edge of one of Seaside's many cliffs, surrounded by a lush grass that felt soft and cool to the touch. The overhang of the tree's leaves, which had yet to begin to turn even though the shift of seasons had begun, provided cover from the less desirable elements as well as being able to keep us semi obscured from view. As soon as I sat down, the smell of the sea air washed over me easily, the salt and freshness leading to a slow deep breath as I attempted to savor it.

I couldn't so much see the waves beyond the cliffs as I could hear them, but I could see the millions and billions of stars that were littering the sky overhead. Joey's wistful low sigh drew my attention back down to the ground and I looked over beside me.

"Smells beautiful, doesn't it?"

I didn't hold the ocean or water in the same esteem as he did, but the sea was just as much a part of him as blood and tissue was for a human. How he felt about the water, it was how I felt about earth and stone. I could feel the edges of my smile start to pull downwards. It hurt to watch him watch the ocean.

I looked away, but didn't disagree with him.

Carefully, I lit the candle after nestling it in a makeshift earthen candle stick holder. My legs stretched out in front of me and I busied myself with adjusting my skirt to ensure I was covered to my ankles.

"Still being shy?" It was almost a tease, more of a gentle probe of curiosity.

I didn't answer him, instead only looked his way and then down to my lap as a response. This brought my attention to the book I had brought with me, the candlelight soon becoming bright enough to read by.

"I told him about this," I said, changing the subject with the ghost of my dead best friend. "Well, sort of. Mostly." I amended after realizing I hadn't gone into much detail with Trick about my various birthday rituals. "I told him about your rule." The smile moved across my lips before I finished the sentence.

"It's a good rule." He agreed and looked down to the book, then back up to my face. He looked concerned.

"It's not what you think." Protesting his unvoiced concern, I flipped open the book and read from the first page. "A touching fable about learning to live in the face of death." I even turned the book his direction to show him the printed words.

"You've read it before." It wasn't a question and doubt started to replace concern, but only mildly.

"Yes," admitting slowly with a quiet sigh. This birthday was winding down on a slightly sour note. "A few times." I wouldn't admit how many, the condition of the worn book was clue enough. Plus, I was also aware that Joey knew just how many times I had read the book since last December. "Come on Joey." This time it wasn't much of a protest and I couldn't hide the slow choke in the middle of my throat as I spoke. "I miss you. It helps. Some."

He was quiet for a long while, and it wasn't until his appearance blurred in my sight that I realized I had started crying. "Read it to me," he requested, gentle and soft.

I rubbed at my eyes, trying to clear the tears from my face as I sniffled and cleared my throat. Nodding when I could see easily again, I turned the page to start.

*****

Reading the book in its entirety took several hours, enough time so that dawn was beginning to tease at breaking and the candle brought with me had slowly burned down to nearly its very end.

"Don't forget to make a wish," he reminded me with a pointed look to the birthday candle.

I carefully slipped it free from the dirt that had held it steady throughout the night and lifted the flame to a few inches from my face. My eyes nearly went cross eyed and my voice had long since gone dry, but I gave the candle a thoughtful look considering my choices for a birthday wish.

After a quick glance Joey's way, I refocused on the flame and after a swift puff of breath it was extinguished with smoke trailing upwards in thick but wispy spirals.

I wished that the heartbreak I felt from losing my best friend would never fade. It was one of the last things I still had of him.
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