The Unsought Place

[Koyliak]

"Any act often repeated soon forms a habit; and habit allowed, steady gains in strength, At first it may be but as a spider's web, easily broken through, but if not resisted it soon binds us with chains of steel."
--Tryon Edwards

September 1, 2020

“Promise me.” Breathless, Koy invoked the familiar ritual as she and Matt lay in bed, naked with their arms wrapped around each other as though letting go would mean certain doom.

Matt bent his head, leaving only a sliver of sacred space between their parted lips. “I promise I will always come home to you.”

“And I promise ‘lways ta have a home fer ye ta come back ta.” The words ushered a visible relief across Koy’s body. She sighed, leaning closer for one soft kiss and squeezing her eyes shut. Her breathing slowed and she let the calming vow help her drift off to sleep.

----
Koy blinked rapidly, dazzled by the sunlight streaming through an open break in the forest canopy. She raised a hand to shield her eyes. A smile crawled across her face. She recognized the familiar markings of Langenfirth.

Standing up, the elf inhaled the air from her homeland deeply. Her head turned sharply. A small wren with a rich green throat flew past. She stared after it but did not move.

When Koy did not follow, the bird returned, swooping down close enough for a wing to brush against the elf’s cheek. The feathers proved surprisingly sharp, drawing a thin slice of blood. Koy raised a hand to touch her cut but again did not step forward.

The ground shook. Worse than that, her vision blurred. The entire forest and all its beautiful light shut off and when it came back on again Koy found herself sitting on the branch of an elm tree. She looked around but did not feel afraid. The tree and the intricate web humming to life with a warm golden glow in front of her also felt oddly familiar.

The wren appeared again, hovering in front of Koy. She watched it for a moment. Her gaze then drifted down past her dangling legs to the forest floor. “Huh.” Koy swung her legs back and forth while she tried to piece something together. Frustrated, the bird dove under Koy’s nose and flew straight through the web’s gold strands.

“The shoes are all wrong.” The purple stilettos on her feet looked lovely against the pines and rich brown dirt. But back home in Langenfirth Koy opted for boots that would fare better for hunting. The stilettos were too clean.

“You are ever the odd creature to me, Modiarzi.” The sultry voice carried on the breeze with an undercurrent of a threat in the final Gweth word for elf. Koy picked her head up to find its source without luck. Something felt off but not alarming.

“But just as dense. Over here.” Koy followed the snarky sound. An inky black spider hung down on a single golden strand. Its body swelled in size. Swirling colors rippled in an endless current along the growing body. Koy finally shivered involuntarily. She imagined the spider must have gorged herself with blood to reach her new proportions.

“That’s better.” The spider stopped getting bigger at the first tinge of fear. The wren flitted close by and settled on a nearby branch. The spider turned her whole body to consider the bird before resuming her fixation on Koy. “You have changed too it seems.”

“I’m dreamin’ aren’t I?” Koy glanced again to her discordant shoes and back up at the creatures in front of her. She squinted hard at the spider. “ShadoWeaver?”

“Yes.” The impatience evident in the alluring voice. “On both accounts before you waste more breath.”

“Why go ta all this trouble ta talk? We’re sharin’ a home ‘gain. I’m not fightin’ it. Ye’ve won the long war ye started all those years ‘go on tha beach.”

“An old war from a past life. I have new appetites now, new curiosities. I too am no longer fighting it. We are tethered. Here is preferable to not here. So why not have some fun?” The air shimmered and the wren flew to sit next to Koy. “It is harder for you to avoid me here. I did not want you to forget I can be everywhere. I see more than you could grasp.”

The heat in the air crackled, now strong enough to be visible. The bird morphed into a small infant with eyes resembling Koy’s and stared up at the elf. ShadoWeaver paid rapt attention. “You truly do not remember Lirisa, do you?”

“Lirisa. Lirisa. Lirisa.” The name darted through the rustling leaves, back and forth past the elm tree. Koy winced. It burned worse than the bird’s sharp feathers had. She blinked again with a hopelessly confused expression on her face. She could not hold onto the name for more than a moment. The small child glitched into and out of existence as ShadoWeaver pushed Koy to the boundary of the sacrificed memory. The spider shifted rapidly too - from itsy bitsy to comically giant, a myriad of colors painting its faceted body. ”Lirisa. Lirisa. Lirisa.” The entire dream landscape turned chaotic. Koy writhed in pain as the name continued to sear her skin.

Fangs emerged from the spider’s gaping maw. It lunged not for Koy but for the bird-child, devouring her whole. An uncomfortable still reclaimed the forest. Panting, Koy sat on the branch gripping her hands tightly together. “Wha happened?” Her breathing, if one breathed in dreams, slowed. Her hands relaxed to her sides. Any remaining signs of instinctual flight or fight reactions disappeared. The experience vanished from her recollection but not ShadoWeaver’s.

“How extraordinary.” The spider spoke as if she forgot Koy was there. “A heady thing, the cost of such magic. Imagine what it would be like to possess a power such as that.” There was a question left unspoken that ShadoWeaver would enjoy solving. Remembering her audience she hummed in delight. Koy could not only see the vibrations in the spider’s body but feel them reach her perch. They felt electrifying, pleasing in spite of all the warning signs flashing ahead.

“We are going to have so much fun together. It’s good to be home.”

A tinkling peal of laughter carried on a warm breeze. ShadoWeaver thought of an old experiment, a violent flood filling the dream forest. The water rose higher and higher. Only when it submerged Koy completely did the elf wake up back in her bed, drenched in sweat and carrying three words with her.

“Sanyumato. Thia. Li…” The tentacles of recessed memory sprang up to reclaim the last word before it could pass her lips.