The Waterpark Fiasco

[Kenzi]

Part One--

Friday 10/7

"I don't want to go down the waterslides yet. I want to go to our rooms and move the furniture and unpack my bags." I grumbled this as Dimitrii tried his best to smooth over the situation. The situation being: our rooms were not yet ready despite it being 3 PM.

"Come on, Kenz. It'll be fun. I'll get you a fruity drink and we can look around."

What could I say to that logic? How could I deny a smile that sweet? I really dislike this man sometimes, I have to admit.

"With extra rum. And an umbrella." I have my price and won’t budge until I get what I want.

"Triple the rum, double the whipped cream, an umbrella, AND a plastic sword with three cherries."

Have I mentioned how much I dislike this man? He knows all of the right things to say. ****ing con man. Truly.

"Fiiiiine." I sighed and let him take my hand to lead me out the double glass doors and into our grand adventure.

He smiled again and I swear I could feel my IQ drop as my brain cells decided to melt a little. Ugh, what a big jerk.

"Do they have a little sea animal area?" Oh wait...what was that? Couldn't be excitement in my voice. No, definitely not today. Mostly because somebody rationed my drinks today so that I wouldn't be too drunk to enjoy the first day here. Ridiculous, right? The abuse I suffer.

But really? It was excitement. I love animals.

I watched as he flipped through several pages of the brochure and then nodded as he looked down at me. "Yeah, it looks like they do. Looks to be pretty big actually."

The afternoon was looking up!

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My brain is like a squirrel.

It flits and flips and generally causes me to seem really distracted. Mostly because I am. Almost always.

I can’t help that I am thinking about twelve different issues at the same time nearly constantly. I multi-task like a champ.

So, because I have this squirrel brain, I got distracted when we passed the hugest slide I have EVER seen. We had a little detour on our way to see the animals because I insisted that we race down the slide. Yes, it was that awesome!

One thing I can say about Dimitrii is that he is a great sport and up for fun at a moment’s notice. And he is pleasant even when standing in line for an entire hour. I, on the other hand, am not so pleasant.

When it was finally our turn, I almost fell down the slide because I was bouncing so much from the excitement of the moment. He didn’t waste a second before making fun of me. I didn’t waste a second in signing my ire with him. That’s right, sign language. He actually understood that one finger gesture too. Miracle of miracles!

So we finally got seated on our individual sides of the slide with the low divider between us. I was ready to go; butt kicking time was nigh! Have I mentioned how competitive I can be? No?

I gotta admit that it was really cute when he reached over the divider to hold my hand. I didn’t realize that he’d get scared so easily. I’m sweet, though, and didn’t call him out on it.

I don’t know how the man managed to prevent me from winning, but I am guessing that by holding my hand like a scaredy cat, he held me back so that we would tie. I totally wanted my bragging rights!

My consolation prize was going to the animal exhibit. Or that was just his way of trying to make me forget that he cheated and prevented me from winning.

It worked. I love animals!

[Kenzi]

Part Two--

Saturday, October 8th.
--Way too Early.


“Gods, Dima, I feel like **** this morning,” I whined as I stumbled out of the bedroom of his suite. My glasses were in the bottom of my bag somewhere and my contacts were... gods only know where. Something about packing all of my stuff to switch hotel rooms in the middle of the night thanks to a wraith trying to jump me made me forget where I put everything.

“Who the hell is at the door this early?” I blinked several times and then squinted as Dimitrii opened the door. I was really hoping he had ordered coffee but the moment he opened the door and I heard that too polite, nasally voice I knew we had trouble. Dammit.

I managed not to look back toward the bedroom I’d just come from, not giving anything away as Dimitrii let the park manager step into the room. I couldn’t see his face but I could make out the blurry form as he moved around the room, inspecting. It was at this point that I realized I was still wearing a pair of men’s boxers tightened at the waist by a ponytail holder and a man’s tee shirt that fell to mid thigh. I’m glamorous in the mornings when I wake up in the wrong room. Or maybe the right room, depending on who you ask.

Anyway, back to the park manager. This was the manager over the entire waterpark; not just the hotel. Six and I both knew exactly why he was here: the otters.

Did I mention the otters? There were otters. VERY cute otters who were SUFFERING in the park exhibit! They demanded freedom from their dire circumstances. I saw it the very second the first pair of beady, little black eyes gazed up at me and when the second one wrapped around the first and then looked up at me? I knew what I had to do.

So I did it and Dimitrii helped. I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt and say he helped because it was the right thing to do and not just because he didn’t have any choice; it was either help or we both got caught. So he helped. The otters have been playing in his bathtub and around his room ever since. I woke up this morning with both of them curled up on my hair.

All of this brings me back to why the manager is here. He apparently wanted to question us since we were seen around the otter display just before the surveillance camera gave out. Dating an ice mage is really handy when there are cameras recording your illegal activity. He froze that sucker right up and broke the lens before I stuffed the two little otters into my bag.

While I was trying to pull my wits together (which is not easy to do with no coffee and very little sleep), Six was already taking care of it.

[Kenzi]

“Do you know what time it is? You realize you just woke up my fiance with your loud knocking?” Dimitrii demanded as he pointed at me. I tried to shove my outrage at being called such a thing way, way down so that I didn’t pick up my vase of flowers (that he’d given me) and hurl it across the room at his awful, wicked face. It would have been quite apropos, though, wouldn’t it? Instead, I played the part of the offended, sleep deprived fiance. It really wasn’t so hard to do; I was plenty of both...minus the fiancé part.

“And now you’re standing here gawking at her when she is barely dressed?” Oh, great job there, let’s draw the man’s attention to this fact, big jerk. But, again, I played my part and attempted to appear modest and quite upset that he was seeing me in such a lack of clothing. I mean, why was I without my burka? How dare the man come into our room and see me without it! The outrage!

I was putting my heart into this performance. I had to really dig down deep to find my outrage. Wait. No, not so deep; it was pretty much at the surface even if it was directed at someone other than the manager.

Dimitrii had moved toward the manager by now, invading his personal space as the volume of his voice continued to elevate. He’d backed him up to the entry door, well away from the bedroom and the otters. He spotted a couple walking by and brought them into the mix.

“Can you believe this?” He called out to the couple. “This guy shows up at our door this early, wakes up my fiancé, and then stands here gawking at her like she is some piece of meat. I’d call the manager and complain but…oh hey, that’s right, he’s the manager.” I have to admit, my amusement was starting to outweigh my irritation with him. I clearly would still need to murder him once this situation was resolved but at least I could do so with a much lighter heart.

I stepped closer to the doorway, put on my best “poor, pathetic me” face, and got ready to turn on the waterworks. This was going to be the rough part because I don’t cry easily at all. Usually if something hurts enough to warrant tears? I’m ready to make it bleed. Anger is so much more useful than crying. I couldn’t very well stab anyone here, though. I averted my gaze from everyone and let my lower lip poke out and quiver just enough. I probably couldn’t summon tears but I could make it look like I was about to.

Dimitrii ran with it. “Oh great, now she’s going to cry! It wasn’t enough that it happened last night in your restaurant when there was a piece of chicken in her salad. She is a dedicated vegetarian! She was devastated! What kind of service is that??”

I’ve mentioned my amusement already, right?

“And have you seen her room? Did the staff forget to set things back after the frat party you must have let go on in there? Furniture all over the place and it’s downright dangerous!” I could only gawk at him at this statement. I had done a bangup job with the feng shui! It was NOT my fault that he had tripped over a chair in the dark when he came in to slay the boogeyman!

Dimitrii had actually drawn the, now nervous, manager out of his room and into the hallway. His voice, and feigned outrage, loud enough that people were beginning to open their doors. Smartly, the manager did not protest and went to my room next door as my enraged “fiancé” decided to show him the danger in the furniture arrangement.

“You can see how small and delicate she is! Now she has a huge bruise on her shoulder from where she fell. She could have broken her neck! She might sue the waterpark.” I could still hear him, though he’d begun to issue his complaints in Russian now, throwing the manager still further off balance. Gods but the man is loud when he wants to be.

I looked out into the hallway and saw all of the faces staring back, or assumed they were, since I couldn’t see much more than the blurry outlines. It was then that I pretty much decided I would not be leaving this hotel room for the remainder of the weekend. I slammed the door and went to comfort myself by playing with my stolen otters while plotting how I would make Dimitrii pay.






(Many thanks to the player of Dimitrii for co-writing this and causing many laughs.)