(Originally posted June 2013 on RDI)
Holding The Infinite
The beach house sat empty, sea breeze lazily drifting through open windows. Save for the gently wafting curtains, all was still. The silence was broken only by the sound of the ocean lapping at the shore. A broad umbrella was planted firmly in the sand and beneath the protection of the shade lay a very lazy Bernese Mountain Dog. The puppy panted quietly, tongue lolling from the side of his mouth as he watched Claire swim laps, her arms arcing over rolling waves to propel her through crystalline waters, hands cupped as they knifed through the sea. It was hypnotic, the pace she set, and she had been at it for over an hour without realizing it.
From the beach, all that was visible of the swimming woman was the lean form of her arms sweeping through water and the occasional flash of rose colored hair, soaked to a deep pink, both clinging to her skin and floating out behind her in the water, strands splayed like a silken halo of coral.
Overhead, the sun dipped behind a passing cloud and the waters around her darkened to a sparkling sapphire. She took no notice of this shift and still she paddled. Stroke after stroke cut her path, the open ocean calling her further out into its buoyant, yielding embrace. It was a peace she felt so rarely it seemed, at one with herself and with the waves around her.
Even when her thoughts turned toward the impermanence of life, the fleeting time spent doing this strange thing called "living", despite that the calm remained. Normally it was so easy to be angry. So easy to feel the pain. But here, in this very moment, she felt nothingness. Her lithe form glided effortlessly through the water and for now, she was weightless, free from burdens, large and small.
The moment stretched on and she thought that maybe, just maybe, if she kept swimming she could make it last forever. Save it from being ephemeral, fleeting. It mattered not that her fingertips were shriveled and pruned, or that a dull burn had wriggled its way into every extension and contraction of each muscle in her body. The ache was a good thing; it meant she was still alive. Life is pain. Life is pain? Was that so? Strokes slowed and the steady kick of her legs decreased in pace and soon she was drifting, content to do just that as she contemplated her existence. Life was pain but it was also beautiful. And even more, it was short.
Evanescent and transient, so very transient.
What is there to do but keep moving forward? The ocean's current had carried her drifting form further and further from the shore. Treading water, she reorients herself before cutting a course diagonally toward the beach. Falling back into that rhythmic paddle, she steadies her mind once more. Resolved. The sea always was her calming force, a reminder of how small she was in the great scope of things. Centering. Bare feet found purchase in sand and seaweed before she waded into the shallows, the clash of the waves on the shore broken by her slowly shifting form. Her reappearance caught the puppy's attention and his head lifted, tail thumping against the umbrella's post.
"The sea's been good to us, Doomsie. But I believe it's time to go back."
Back to all that she was running from. Those she skirted around and hid from. The problems she refused to face. The disappointment. The anger. The pain. The city she had taken as her own. A city that had welcomed her with open arms when she believed herself to have nowhere else to go, when she had no one. One of ups. One of downs. The city where she lost herself and the city where she ultimately found herself once more.
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Capax Infiniti (June 2013)
Seek the places where light meets dark, there you will find tales of inexplicably intertwined realms both near and far.
Moderators: King, Cooper Gallows, Claire Gallows
- Claire Gallows
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- Location: Dunmovin (Outside of Rhydin City), Underwood (New Haven), or Caelum Training Center
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