Insomnia, or sleeplessness, is a sleep disorder in which there is an inability to fall asleep or to stay asleep as long as desired.
It is also home.
It is why these halls echo with emptiness and why I am the only one awake to bask in the quiet. I had thought I'd come to Old Temple to be closer to Serah. But maybe I was really doing it to get away from the massive expanse of empty house that couldn't possibly feel like a home while he is away. Sanctum. Solitude. Everything our home had been.
It had only been a week.
One week.
Seven days.
It was nothing.
And it was everything.
With every day that crept past, the pit in my stomach grew further. With Lucis on the brink, I found myself cut off. Even by way of Valhalla I could not reach him, not with the city's defenses at their maximum level. Two thirds of the Trinity sat helpless while the third was slowly worn down, pushed to the edge of destruction. They were so close and I was so far. So yes, it was here that I sought refuge, in the cathedral's dead silence, an almost eerie sort of quiet that was only ever interrupted by the tolling of bells on high. I could count the hours as they passed without ever looking at a clock.
That's not to say I didn't check often, my phone drawn and illuminated in the dimly lit corridors to verify not just the time but also that I'd not missed anything. A call. A text. A voicemail. Ah, there was that pit in my gut again, a twisted knot of nerves that sought to consume me from the inside out. He said he would call... why hadn't he called?
My reverie was interrupted by the quietest of sounds, picked up not by the well trained ear of a battle hardened warrior but instead by a mama bear too in tune with her cubs. I reversed my path and stole away into the makeshift nursery to see just what might have roused the wee tots. I think the last time the bell tolled, it had done so four times. The sun hadn't begun it's climb into the sky quite yet and the inky black of predawn shaded the little room into a gradient of dark and darker.
I shifted left, expecting Alexander to be the one awake and calling for me but when I reached his crib, he was sound asleep. An already unruly mop of platinum blonde was plastered to one side of his head while the other side stuck straight out and up like he'd be licked upside the noggin by a cow. His little chest, so small but so perfect, gently rose and fell as he peacefully slumbered. Certain I'd only been hearing things, I turned around to check on Averia as well, peering down into her crib to find her staring up at me.
"What're you doing awake, little princess?" I asked ever so softly. Of course she didn't answer, being only eleven weeks old and all. Typically she was the one to sleep through the night so to see her silver eyes so wide and bright at such an hour was a little strange to say the least. Her petite hands reached my way but she didn't cry or whine, simply grasped at air until I leaned down to scoop her up. Old Temple's Baronial Manor wasn't quite equipped for late night mother-daughter conversations but I found a plush, if a bit dated, armchair to settle in, pulling one leg up underneath me until I was comfortable.
"Can't sleep? Me either." Rhetorical of course, I hardly expected an answer. Eyes like liquid starlight simply stared up at me. She was such a calm little baby, hardly ever crying, and the way she took everything in had me thinking that maybe, just maybe, she understood more than a child of her age should. I held her close, a gentle sway rocking us both. Tiny fingers grasped at what they could, closing around the deep blue crystal pendant that hung around my neck. I had almost forgot I was wearing it until the pull put strain on the titanium chain that kept it secure. It's pink counter part was far, far from here. I swallowed a lump in my throat that hadn't been there a moment ago.
"He'll be home before we know it. Safe and sound, don't you worry." The way my voice wavered, I think maybe I was trying to convince myself more than the little girl in my arms but it seemed to settle her all the same and soon no longer was I weighted by argent eyes. A blanket of sleep finally drifted over her, threatening to take me with it, so carefully I returned Averia to her crib and returned to my endless pacing of empty halls.
Insomnia
Moderators: King, Cooper Gallows, Claire Gallows
- Claire Gallows
- Legendary Adventurer
- Eternal Light
- Posts: 1580
- Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2013 8:03 pm
- Location: Dunmovin (Outside of Rhydin City), Underwood (New Haven), or Caelum Training Center
- Claire Gallows
- Legendary Adventurer
- Eternal Light
- Posts: 1580
- Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2013 8:03 pm
- Location: Dunmovin (Outside of Rhydin City), Underwood (New Haven), or Caelum Training Center
Three weeks. No word.
It wasn't lightly that I made my visit to the new world. Well, it's edge at least. And so I found myself sitting back to back with a teenage boy that seemed to get older far more quickly than should have been possible. Time is such a weird thing but there Hope was, brilliant and understanding and a welcome reprieve from the relative silence that plagued me everywhere I went. The Overlord's Isle, Caelum Manor, my mind, everything in between. It was no wonder that Giovanni had taken to calling me daily for the most inane of conversations, surely he knew how isolated I was feeling at this point. Hope sat on one side of the shimmering blue portal while I sat on the other. Standing had long since become overrated and we had relaxed into intermittent spots of conversation and silence.
"Overlord huh? That sounds... special, I guess?" Hope didn't quite sound like he understood the significance. I scuffed a boot heel against the ground and stared at some point on the horizon, Valhalla spread before me in varying states of reformation. It was a lovely reminder of how far I had come... and how far I had yet to go.
"I... it's a distraction." I admitted reluctantly, prompting a quiet sigh from Hope.
"Here I thought you were using your time more productively." The quietly patronizing tone was familiar though I couldn't quite peg why. One good sigh deserved another and I returned the sentiment easily.
"C'mon Estheim, I don't need that right now. Can't you just... be my friend for a few minutes?" Asking softly, I hoped the plea tugged on his more sentimental heart strings.
"Sorry Light, I don't know what came over me. How's Serah doing? Still unstable?" The change of subject, I was grateful for. The subject, not as much.
"She's... I... well... um... I don't know. She's been busy with life and moving and I haven't been to the new place yet so..." I shrugged a little but tried not to lean too far into my side of the portal.
"I worried the Heart of Chaos hadn't acclimated to your frequency yet in order to be gifted so soon. I'm not sure if it's given her more time or made the visions worse." Hope mumbled sheepishly, regretful as though he could have foreseen such a thing. I shook my head and lifted a hand over my own shoulder to pat at his. He stiffened momentarily as though the touch were completely unexpected but relaxed within seconds.
"It's not your fault. It's not your fault at all... had I not brought her to Rhy'Din, maybe she could have been reborn in the new world with you all..." My voice but a whisper, I hadn't quite wanted to voice those doubts. Keeping them unspoken had made them less real but now it was out there, hanging heavily in the atmosphere. Regret, doubt, fear, inadequacy. I couldn't win. I held the very balance of the Chrysalia realms within my hand but I couldn't balance Serah.
"You don't know that. Stop blaming yourself, Light. You did what was right at the time, you always do. Just... it'll be okay. Serah will be okay. The twins with Noct?" Another subject change, another grateful sigh of relief, another pause while I tried to find the words to explain my husband's absence.
"No... he's... in Lucis and... things are pretty bad there. Insomnia's locked away, nobody in or out. They're talking some sort of peace accord though so... soon. Soon he'll be home." My words came in jolts, unsteady and unsure of their footing on my tongue. Truth be told, each day that passed diminished my hopes of a peaceful resolution to the long brewing war that was at last on Insomnia's doorstep.
"Oh, Light..." Hope spoke quietly, shifting just slightly as though he was going to move to comfort me. He faltered though and settled back down, back to back.
"Yeah... it's um... it's okay. Avy and Alex are with Chronos and Titan." I trailed off, pulling a foot up underneath me to try and get comfortable. My ass was asleep something terrible.
"Chronos and... Titan? Like Titan-Titan?" He asked in surprise, getting a quick head shake out of me before I quickly corrected him.
"No, no. They're uh, dire wolves. Familiars, really, is the best way I can describe it. I trust them. My god-daughter Adelaide has one of her own too... sister of the pair we've got." I explained. Hope was quiet for a long moment and then I felt the pressure against my back relieved as he pulled away.
"Hmm. Well, you should probably get back to them." It seemed he wasn't much a fan of the lupine babysitters. It was understandable, I guess. So slowly I stood, half out of reluctance to leave and half because I couldn't feel my left leg.
"Yeah... I guess so. It was good talking to you, Hope. Sorry to have interrupted your day." I mumbled, turning around to face him as the portal between the realms began to flicker and fade.
"It was no bother, Light. Keep your head up, we'll get through this." He lifted a hand in farewell and I mirrored the motion from my side of the realm and it was like he looked right through me. The Unseen Realm, it figured. His smile remained all the way until the azure glow faded away and left me alone in Valhalla. Though the trip back to Rhy'Din was a quick and painless journey, I made it reluctantly, hesitant to return to the deafening silence of that house and most of all, my mind.
It wasn't lightly that I made my visit to the new world. Well, it's edge at least. And so I found myself sitting back to back with a teenage boy that seemed to get older far more quickly than should have been possible. Time is such a weird thing but there Hope was, brilliant and understanding and a welcome reprieve from the relative silence that plagued me everywhere I went. The Overlord's Isle, Caelum Manor, my mind, everything in between. It was no wonder that Giovanni had taken to calling me daily for the most inane of conversations, surely he knew how isolated I was feeling at this point. Hope sat on one side of the shimmering blue portal while I sat on the other. Standing had long since become overrated and we had relaxed into intermittent spots of conversation and silence.
"Overlord huh? That sounds... special, I guess?" Hope didn't quite sound like he understood the significance. I scuffed a boot heel against the ground and stared at some point on the horizon, Valhalla spread before me in varying states of reformation. It was a lovely reminder of how far I had come... and how far I had yet to go.
"I... it's a distraction." I admitted reluctantly, prompting a quiet sigh from Hope.
"Here I thought you were using your time more productively." The quietly patronizing tone was familiar though I couldn't quite peg why. One good sigh deserved another and I returned the sentiment easily.
"C'mon Estheim, I don't need that right now. Can't you just... be my friend for a few minutes?" Asking softly, I hoped the plea tugged on his more sentimental heart strings.
"Sorry Light, I don't know what came over me. How's Serah doing? Still unstable?" The change of subject, I was grateful for. The subject, not as much.
"She's... I... well... um... I don't know. She's been busy with life and moving and I haven't been to the new place yet so..." I shrugged a little but tried not to lean too far into my side of the portal.
"I worried the Heart of Chaos hadn't acclimated to your frequency yet in order to be gifted so soon. I'm not sure if it's given her more time or made the visions worse." Hope mumbled sheepishly, regretful as though he could have foreseen such a thing. I shook my head and lifted a hand over my own shoulder to pat at his. He stiffened momentarily as though the touch were completely unexpected but relaxed within seconds.
"It's not your fault. It's not your fault at all... had I not brought her to Rhy'Din, maybe she could have been reborn in the new world with you all..." My voice but a whisper, I hadn't quite wanted to voice those doubts. Keeping them unspoken had made them less real but now it was out there, hanging heavily in the atmosphere. Regret, doubt, fear, inadequacy. I couldn't win. I held the very balance of the Chrysalia realms within my hand but I couldn't balance Serah.
"You don't know that. Stop blaming yourself, Light. You did what was right at the time, you always do. Just... it'll be okay. Serah will be okay. The twins with Noct?" Another subject change, another grateful sigh of relief, another pause while I tried to find the words to explain my husband's absence.
"No... he's... in Lucis and... things are pretty bad there. Insomnia's locked away, nobody in or out. They're talking some sort of peace accord though so... soon. Soon he'll be home." My words came in jolts, unsteady and unsure of their footing on my tongue. Truth be told, each day that passed diminished my hopes of a peaceful resolution to the long brewing war that was at last on Insomnia's doorstep.
"Oh, Light..." Hope spoke quietly, shifting just slightly as though he was going to move to comfort me. He faltered though and settled back down, back to back.
"Yeah... it's um... it's okay. Avy and Alex are with Chronos and Titan." I trailed off, pulling a foot up underneath me to try and get comfortable. My ass was asleep something terrible.
"Chronos and... Titan? Like Titan-Titan?" He asked in surprise, getting a quick head shake out of me before I quickly corrected him.
"No, no. They're uh, dire wolves. Familiars, really, is the best way I can describe it. I trust them. My god-daughter Adelaide has one of her own too... sister of the pair we've got." I explained. Hope was quiet for a long moment and then I felt the pressure against my back relieved as he pulled away.
"Hmm. Well, you should probably get back to them." It seemed he wasn't much a fan of the lupine babysitters. It was understandable, I guess. So slowly I stood, half out of reluctance to leave and half because I couldn't feel my left leg.
"Yeah... I guess so. It was good talking to you, Hope. Sorry to have interrupted your day." I mumbled, turning around to face him as the portal between the realms began to flicker and fade.
"It was no bother, Light. Keep your head up, we'll get through this." He lifted a hand in farewell and I mirrored the motion from my side of the realm and it was like he looked right through me. The Unseen Realm, it figured. His smile remained all the way until the azure glow faded away and left me alone in Valhalla. Though the trip back to Rhy'Din was a quick and painless journey, I made it reluctantly, hesitant to return to the deafening silence of that house and most of all, my mind.
- Claire Gallows
- Legendary Adventurer
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- Posts: 1580
- Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2013 8:03 pm
- Location: Dunmovin (Outside of Rhydin City), Underwood (New Haven), or Caelum Training Center
A string of rainy days did not a productive me, make. The great room was scattered with a strange collection of items; toys and rattles, rawhide chewbones and cat nip jingly toys, my tablet and in the midst of it all... me. The TV hummed with some infectious tune, bright colors and patterns dancing around the screen and utterly captivating the two little ones down on the floor with me. Alexander rolled from stomach to back at varying intervals, watching the television then watching it upside down. Averia had decided she was going to master this sitting thing, skipping the rolling stage in favor of a wobbly balancing act helped along by sitting with her back against my rib cage. Her little fingers had found my hand and she idly fidgeted with my fingers while she watched her brother. My free hand held my phone up above my face, poking at the solitaire app that was soon interrupted by the buzzing ring of a phone call and a flashed picture on the screen. White hair, kind eyes, small smile. Old before his time, too wise. I clicked the Talk button and pulled it to my ear.
"Finally got the interrealm link working, I see."
"It isn't ksssssssssh-ite ready. But the frequencies are off. Have you talked to sssssssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh--" I had to yank the phone away from my ear and Averia paused in her minute ministrations of my fingertips to stare at me.
"Hope? You still there? Talked to who?"
"Ugh, yeah. Sorry Light, connection's unstable. Talked to Serah lately?"
"Ermm... no... I think she might be out on that boat she likes. Hasn't been answering her phone and I don't wanna pry." Averia was still staring at me. It was sort of awkward how intense her gaze could be.
"I lost the frequency for the Heart...I need you to check in with her and see what's up."
"...How do you lose that? It's tied to me... it's tied to Serah... it's... what do you mean you lost it?" I felt my panic rising, mixing with my confusion to run the gamut of unpleasant scenarios in my mind.
"I don't know, Li-ksssssssssssh-shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Jus-shhhhhhhhhh ahold of her. Ksh-ksh-kshhhhh me back." The line went dead. I sat there for a few moments, focusing on my breathing. A soft pat to my hand brought me back to the present and I propped myself up to look down at Averia.
"It's okay, Avy. Everything's gonna be okay. I promise." Already I was hanging up the dead call in favor of punching in Serah's number once more. My thumb hovered over the Call button, ready to strike when two syllables derailed everything.
"Da da." Alex had rolled onto his back, feet kicking at the air. Averia looked at me and then at her brother and soon I found myself staring at Alexander with some strange amount of awe.
"Do it again..." I urged softly, not believing my ears.
"Da da da da da da da." Damn it, why couldn't it be 'ma ma' or something. But my envy was soon replaced by the sinking realization that Da-da-da wasn't here to witness this momentous occasion and I cleared the screen on my phone and tapped at the video recorder to try and catch it again. Surely all of this with Serah was just a silly misunderstanding. I was determined to convince myself of such if it was the last thing I did. It's okay. Everything's gonna be okay.
"Finally got the interrealm link working, I see."
"It isn't ksssssssssh-ite ready. But the frequencies are off. Have you talked to sssssssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh--" I had to yank the phone away from my ear and Averia paused in her minute ministrations of my fingertips to stare at me.
"Hope? You still there? Talked to who?"
"Ugh, yeah. Sorry Light, connection's unstable. Talked to Serah lately?"
"Ermm... no... I think she might be out on that boat she likes. Hasn't been answering her phone and I don't wanna pry." Averia was still staring at me. It was sort of awkward how intense her gaze could be.
"I lost the frequency for the Heart...I need you to check in with her and see what's up."
"...How do you lose that? It's tied to me... it's tied to Serah... it's... what do you mean you lost it?" I felt my panic rising, mixing with my confusion to run the gamut of unpleasant scenarios in my mind.
"I don't know, Li-ksssssssssssh-shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Jus-shhhhhhhhhh ahold of her. Ksh-ksh-kshhhhh me back." The line went dead. I sat there for a few moments, focusing on my breathing. A soft pat to my hand brought me back to the present and I propped myself up to look down at Averia.
"It's okay, Avy. Everything's gonna be okay. I promise." Already I was hanging up the dead call in favor of punching in Serah's number once more. My thumb hovered over the Call button, ready to strike when two syllables derailed everything.
"Da da." Alex had rolled onto his back, feet kicking at the air. Averia looked at me and then at her brother and soon I found myself staring at Alexander with some strange amount of awe.
"Do it again..." I urged softly, not believing my ears.
"Da da da da da da da." Damn it, why couldn't it be 'ma ma' or something. But my envy was soon replaced by the sinking realization that Da-da-da wasn't here to witness this momentous occasion and I cleared the screen on my phone and tapped at the video recorder to try and catch it again. Surely all of this with Serah was just a silly misunderstanding. I was determined to convince myself of such if it was the last thing I did. It's okay. Everything's gonna be okay.
- Claire Gallows
- Legendary Adventurer
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- Posts: 1580
- Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2013 8:03 pm
- Location: Dunmovin (Outside of Rhydin City), Underwood (New Haven), or Caelum Training Center
Five weeks and I was on the verge of falling apart. Why was this so nerve-racking? It wasn't like we hadn't been apart before. Hell, we had gone months during times when I had to return to Valhalla. Granted, from Valhalla I could keep watch over him here and there. I guess that was the difference. I had no idea what was happening. Even the native borns from Lucis were worried, unable to reach their families and other loved ones. In Noct's stead, I had to play public face to the Rhy'Din Division of Caelum Enterprises, and as such I had to try and convince them that everything was fine, that all was well and everything would be better soon. No need to worry, no reason to fret.
If only I could convince myself. Instead I was a duck, tranquil to the public eye while my legs struggled to paddle just beneath the surface and keep me afloat. The morning was cool but not uncomfortably so, so I took my time on the trek back from the training center and to the main house. Having the twins with me, I could have (and probably should have) driven, but instead the winding path through the woods called to me with its tranquility and as I waved off li Fronti's offer to walk with me, I let myself disappear into the forest. Alexander carried on a babbling conversation with anything that would listen, well other than his sister, who nestled in her sling quietly. She watched him though, rather intently as he giggled and cooed, tiny hands grasping at this and that, his eyes alight with wonder every time he caught a glimpse of the wildlife that frequented the sprawling woods.
Still, I nearly jumped out of my skin when my phone went off and with a quickly caught falter, I patted through my pockets until I found it, fumbling it up to my ear as I tapped the talk button without looking at the screen.
"Go for Claire." As I spoke, Alex quieted while the local fauna continued its early morning song.
"Claire, it's Gio. I didn't wake you did I?" Not that the cambion really cared if he woke her, he at least tried to maintain some semblance of consideration.
"No, just heading back from my morning session with Ez. What's up?" Glancing over my shoulder, the training center had long since disappeared behind me in favor of the winding path I had been strolling along.
"Mmh. Glad to hear you made it this morning, I know they've been a bit of a... struggle as of late. I do believe you've met with Mister Bergheim to your satisfaction now?" I could hear a hint of uncertainty in his tone and though I was ready to remark on his quip about my issues making it to the morning training sessions, I was instead distracted by a falling binky. My phone slid from my shoulder while I grabbed for the pacifier, catching it before it hit the ground. My phone wasn't nearly as lucky, hitting the dirt with an unceremonious thud.
"Oops." I stooped to pick it up, brushing it clean and sticking it back between my ear and shoulder again while Alex giggled quietly about the sudden upheaval. "Sorry about that, dropped my phone. Alexander thinks it's funny to throw things and see if I can catch them in time. Where were we?"
"Your meeting with Mister Bergheim." Gio prompted through a chuckle.
"Oh. Yeah, that. Um, yeah, we had lunch the other day. Talked a bit. Talked to Serah later that night. Which reminds me, I still need to call Hope. Ughhhhhh," I trailed off into a groan, letting Giovanni try to process my disjointed ramble. Coming around the final curve of the path, the guest house was first to come into view and beyond that, the manor.
"Okay, so give Hope a call at your convenience. Otherwise, everything go alright with the previous talks?" Gio asked. Glancing aside at the occupied guest house, I shrugged a little, not as though Gio would hear that.
"Eh. I feel like I'm out of the loop for something. Hope had some concerns regarding Serah and then some stuff Sven and Serah told me just sort of made it worse. I'd like a detailed report for his whereabouts the past twenty one days. Additionally, I'm going to send you a picture of someone, I'd like you to see if you can find anything about him. Put Remi on all of it, he'll report to you or I only." Breathless, I took in a deep breath and gave Gio a chance to respond.
"Got it, Lady Caelum. So, one other thing..." He said cautiously. I frowned, my hand pausing on the door handle as I hesitated.
"Yeah?" Urging him to continue, I bounced a little to sate the impatiently fussy twins.
"I've been getting questions... about the state of things back home. Concerns about wives and children, they're restless. What do you want me to tell them?" Giovanni asked quietly. I put my forehead to the door, stifling a sigh. I had been dreading that question.
"Whatever you have to, man. I'm in the same spot they are but the best thing we can do is sit tight until we know more. Insomnia's safe for now, there's no need to panic unless that changes." It sort of sounded like I was trying to convince myself more than him. Gio picked up on that as well and quietly sighed.
"Very well. I'll run interference in the mean time, sate the masses. Don't forget to call Hope." He reminded me. Man it was hard to keep my inner child from whining 'but what if I don't wanna?!'.
"Yeah, I'll get right on it." Maybe later.
If only I could convince myself. Instead I was a duck, tranquil to the public eye while my legs struggled to paddle just beneath the surface and keep me afloat. The morning was cool but not uncomfortably so, so I took my time on the trek back from the training center and to the main house. Having the twins with me, I could have (and probably should have) driven, but instead the winding path through the woods called to me with its tranquility and as I waved off li Fronti's offer to walk with me, I let myself disappear into the forest. Alexander carried on a babbling conversation with anything that would listen, well other than his sister, who nestled in her sling quietly. She watched him though, rather intently as he giggled and cooed, tiny hands grasping at this and that, his eyes alight with wonder every time he caught a glimpse of the wildlife that frequented the sprawling woods.
Still, I nearly jumped out of my skin when my phone went off and with a quickly caught falter, I patted through my pockets until I found it, fumbling it up to my ear as I tapped the talk button without looking at the screen.
"Go for Claire." As I spoke, Alex quieted while the local fauna continued its early morning song.
"Claire, it's Gio. I didn't wake you did I?" Not that the cambion really cared if he woke her, he at least tried to maintain some semblance of consideration.
"No, just heading back from my morning session with Ez. What's up?" Glancing over my shoulder, the training center had long since disappeared behind me in favor of the winding path I had been strolling along.
"Mmh. Glad to hear you made it this morning, I know they've been a bit of a... struggle as of late. I do believe you've met with Mister Bergheim to your satisfaction now?" I could hear a hint of uncertainty in his tone and though I was ready to remark on his quip about my issues making it to the morning training sessions, I was instead distracted by a falling binky. My phone slid from my shoulder while I grabbed for the pacifier, catching it before it hit the ground. My phone wasn't nearly as lucky, hitting the dirt with an unceremonious thud.
"Oops." I stooped to pick it up, brushing it clean and sticking it back between my ear and shoulder again while Alex giggled quietly about the sudden upheaval. "Sorry about that, dropped my phone. Alexander thinks it's funny to throw things and see if I can catch them in time. Where were we?"
"Your meeting with Mister Bergheim." Gio prompted through a chuckle.
"Oh. Yeah, that. Um, yeah, we had lunch the other day. Talked a bit. Talked to Serah later that night. Which reminds me, I still need to call Hope. Ughhhhhh," I trailed off into a groan, letting Giovanni try to process my disjointed ramble. Coming around the final curve of the path, the guest house was first to come into view and beyond that, the manor.
"Okay, so give Hope a call at your convenience. Otherwise, everything go alright with the previous talks?" Gio asked. Glancing aside at the occupied guest house, I shrugged a little, not as though Gio would hear that.
"Eh. I feel like I'm out of the loop for something. Hope had some concerns regarding Serah and then some stuff Sven and Serah told me just sort of made it worse. I'd like a detailed report for his whereabouts the past twenty one days. Additionally, I'm going to send you a picture of someone, I'd like you to see if you can find anything about him. Put Remi on all of it, he'll report to you or I only." Breathless, I took in a deep breath and gave Gio a chance to respond.
"Got it, Lady Caelum. So, one other thing..." He said cautiously. I frowned, my hand pausing on the door handle as I hesitated.
"Yeah?" Urging him to continue, I bounced a little to sate the impatiently fussy twins.
"I've been getting questions... about the state of things back home. Concerns about wives and children, they're restless. What do you want me to tell them?" Giovanni asked quietly. I put my forehead to the door, stifling a sigh. I had been dreading that question.
"Whatever you have to, man. I'm in the same spot they are but the best thing we can do is sit tight until we know more. Insomnia's safe for now, there's no need to panic unless that changes." It sort of sounded like I was trying to convince myself more than him. Gio picked up on that as well and quietly sighed.
"Very well. I'll run interference in the mean time, sate the masses. Don't forget to call Hope." He reminded me. Man it was hard to keep my inner child from whining 'but what if I don't wanna?!'.
"Yeah, I'll get right on it." Maybe later.
- Claire Gallows
- Legendary Adventurer
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- Posts: 1580
- Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2013 8:03 pm
- Location: Dunmovin (Outside of Rhydin City), Underwood (New Haven), or Caelum Training Center
"Six weeks and a half weeks passed before he returned, Hope. Just like that in the middle of the Inn as though he hadn't spent the last month and a half locked away in a land on the brink of war. I think I nearly tackled him when I saw him. Nearly, well I guess I actually did. We ended up on the floor, me holding him like I thought he might disappear. I thought it was normality returning at last, just in time for Beltane... our wedding anniversary... the anniversary of Lila's death. My birthday will come sometime after that but after all this time it seems so trivial that I don't see the point in bothering with celebrating.
"In the last year... so much has happened, enough ups and downs that it puts a roller coaster to shame. May had brought the happiest and saddest times in recent memory. The Beltane wedding ceremony had been perfect, just us, a few friends and the adopted land we now call home. No pomp, no oversized wedding dress, no big white wedding. Little had we known until a few days later that Lila had died. Of my blood but not of this time, she had been... something else. An enigma. A reminder that every choice we make spawns an infinite number of possibilities. Time's a funny thing, Hope. But you know that well, don't you?
"For awhile I thought that everything would calm down. That we had had enough tragedy and drama in our lives for the year. Wishful thinking, I guess. Serah somehow made it past her birthday and I found myself pregnant with the twins. Though things with Lucis were quickly going south, I thought that maybe between Lucis, Valhalla, and Nosgoth that we could get through it all. Avy and Alex were born... things were normal-ish... what could go wrong, right? Right. Everything.
"Serah's been getting worse, Hope. I don't know if has to do with the Heart or whatever put her in the hospital but it's getting bad. She... nearly killed someone last night. He could still die from what Doc says. Hit him full on with a major dose of Chaos and get this, the dude's allergic to magic. So... he's bleeding out on the sidewalk and I'm woken from a dead sleep with just this... feeling of dread. Like my heart was being ripped out of my chest, which is impossible, but that's what it felt like." I took a moment to sigh, breathing deeply before I continued my rambling confessional to the man on the phone.
"I just knew where to find her. I didn't even have to think about it, just told Noct I had to go find Serah and bam. There I was, standing in the middle of the street in my freaking pajamas while Serah's friends looked like they were ready to end her right then and there if they had to. I... I couldn't let them bear that burden but man... all I could think is... please don't make me hurt you. I think she's losing the fight. For control, you know. Between herself and the Chaos, the bearers before her... Caius... the other Guardians. I don't know. It's not the first time I've spoke to her and it wasn't her. He spoke to me through her. He's using her... and people are getting hurt.
"If Chaos gets out of hand... if she gets out of hand... it's my job to stop it. Her. It's my duty. To keep the balance... to... eliminate the threat..." My voice wavered with the thought but Hope persisted in his observant silence, his steady breathing on the other end the only sign that he was still there.
"If it overtakes her, I have to... end it. It can't be anyone else. But... Hope... what if I'm not strong enough?" I asked, for the first time voicing my doubts that if push came to shove that I could follow through with my threats to the driving force behind Serah's violence.
"We won't let it come to that." Hope was quick to reassure me. I shook my head, though he couldn't see it.
"That's easy to say. We've been... staving this off for years now. The visions should have died with the old world. You... Snow... Noel... everyone, you've all moved on to regular lives now. Why hasn't Serah? What do I have to do to stop this? Please, just help me find a way." I pleaded, the desperation dripping from every word.
"Light, if I had a way, we'd implement it immediately. But between Pulse, Chrysalia and Rhydin, it's impossible to proper calibrate any sort of consistent life force, you know this. Rhydin is somehow in both a constant state of flux and a state of stasis. Everything is changing yet nothing is. It may be why she hasn't normalized." He said gently, the hesitation readily evident in his tone.
"So... you're telling me... because I brought her here to save her... that I may have done more harm. I may have made it worse? Kept her from being able to stabilize?" I asked. How was it that I could save an entire world, an entire race, but couldn't fix my sister, one of the only one that really mattered to me in the long run.
"It's... not like that, Lightning. You can't blame yourself for this." Hope refuted. My snorted derision voiced my disagreement.
"It's my fault. I brought her here. I tried to save her and I only made it worse. I gave her the Heart of Chaos and now we can't even detect it. What if Chaos itself has taken over? Is that why we can't see it? What if I've lost her to the dark, Hope... I... I have to fix this..." I had reached the point of being inconsolable, my ramblings spewing all of my worries that had built up over the years.
"I'll... research alternatives. But Claire... I need you to stay strong through this. If the Balance is upset... you must safeguard it at all costs or else Chrysalia won't be the only land to suffer." The ominous warning sent ice through my veins, my mouth drying to the point I couldn't even swallow the lump in my throat.
"I... I know what I need to do. I'll talk to you soon."
"In the last year... so much has happened, enough ups and downs that it puts a roller coaster to shame. May had brought the happiest and saddest times in recent memory. The Beltane wedding ceremony had been perfect, just us, a few friends and the adopted land we now call home. No pomp, no oversized wedding dress, no big white wedding. Little had we known until a few days later that Lila had died. Of my blood but not of this time, she had been... something else. An enigma. A reminder that every choice we make spawns an infinite number of possibilities. Time's a funny thing, Hope. But you know that well, don't you?
"For awhile I thought that everything would calm down. That we had had enough tragedy and drama in our lives for the year. Wishful thinking, I guess. Serah somehow made it past her birthday and I found myself pregnant with the twins. Though things with Lucis were quickly going south, I thought that maybe between Lucis, Valhalla, and Nosgoth that we could get through it all. Avy and Alex were born... things were normal-ish... what could go wrong, right? Right. Everything.
"Serah's been getting worse, Hope. I don't know if has to do with the Heart or whatever put her in the hospital but it's getting bad. She... nearly killed someone last night. He could still die from what Doc says. Hit him full on with a major dose of Chaos and get this, the dude's allergic to magic. So... he's bleeding out on the sidewalk and I'm woken from a dead sleep with just this... feeling of dread. Like my heart was being ripped out of my chest, which is impossible, but that's what it felt like." I took a moment to sigh, breathing deeply before I continued my rambling confessional to the man on the phone.
"I just knew where to find her. I didn't even have to think about it, just told Noct I had to go find Serah and bam. There I was, standing in the middle of the street in my freaking pajamas while Serah's friends looked like they were ready to end her right then and there if they had to. I... I couldn't let them bear that burden but man... all I could think is... please don't make me hurt you. I think she's losing the fight. For control, you know. Between herself and the Chaos, the bearers before her... Caius... the other Guardians. I don't know. It's not the first time I've spoke to her and it wasn't her. He spoke to me through her. He's using her... and people are getting hurt.
"If Chaos gets out of hand... if she gets out of hand... it's my job to stop it. Her. It's my duty. To keep the balance... to... eliminate the threat..." My voice wavered with the thought but Hope persisted in his observant silence, his steady breathing on the other end the only sign that he was still there.
"If it overtakes her, I have to... end it. It can't be anyone else. But... Hope... what if I'm not strong enough?" I asked, for the first time voicing my doubts that if push came to shove that I could follow through with my threats to the driving force behind Serah's violence.
"We won't let it come to that." Hope was quick to reassure me. I shook my head, though he couldn't see it.
"That's easy to say. We've been... staving this off for years now. The visions should have died with the old world. You... Snow... Noel... everyone, you've all moved on to regular lives now. Why hasn't Serah? What do I have to do to stop this? Please, just help me find a way." I pleaded, the desperation dripping from every word.
"Light, if I had a way, we'd implement it immediately. But between Pulse, Chrysalia and Rhydin, it's impossible to proper calibrate any sort of consistent life force, you know this. Rhydin is somehow in both a constant state of flux and a state of stasis. Everything is changing yet nothing is. It may be why she hasn't normalized." He said gently, the hesitation readily evident in his tone.
"So... you're telling me... because I brought her here to save her... that I may have done more harm. I may have made it worse? Kept her from being able to stabilize?" I asked. How was it that I could save an entire world, an entire race, but couldn't fix my sister, one of the only one that really mattered to me in the long run.
"It's... not like that, Lightning. You can't blame yourself for this." Hope refuted. My snorted derision voiced my disagreement.
"It's my fault. I brought her here. I tried to save her and I only made it worse. I gave her the Heart of Chaos and now we can't even detect it. What if Chaos itself has taken over? Is that why we can't see it? What if I've lost her to the dark, Hope... I... I have to fix this..." I had reached the point of being inconsolable, my ramblings spewing all of my worries that had built up over the years.
"I'll... research alternatives. But Claire... I need you to stay strong through this. If the Balance is upset... you must safeguard it at all costs or else Chrysalia won't be the only land to suffer." The ominous warning sent ice through my veins, my mouth drying to the point I couldn't even swallow the lump in my throat.
"I... I know what I need to do. I'll talk to you soon."
- Claire Gallows
- Legendary Adventurer
- Eternal Light
- Posts: 1580
- Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2013 8:03 pm
- Location: Dunmovin (Outside of Rhydin City), Underwood (New Haven), or Caelum Training Center
"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little disappointed that I lost, but I'm thinking it's a blessing in disguise. With everything going on with Serah lately, the last thing I need is a stupid... dueling title to try and maintain. With the Warlord Tournament coming up... that would be another match to set up and schedule and fight. Besides, it's not like I was doing much with it. They always asked how I liked the Isle and what I was doing out there and whether I could see Jesse's shenanigans in Dockside from my own dock. I didn't really... have the heart to tell them that I had only been out there twice since winning. Once for Giovanni's usual press run, blah blah blah pictures. Then the second for my so called celebration party. How do I tell them that I couldn't go back to that place? Not after what we did..."
"Well... what did you do?" Came the crackling buzz of Hope's voice in the receiver. The challenge was over, the twins were in bed, and I had slipped away from Noctis, intent on a short walk to clear my head. The woods were unusually quiet so I took care not to stray too far into them as I paced barefoot through the grass. Silence fell between the two of us and it wasn't until Hope spoke again that I realized I needed to talk. "Light? You still there?
"Yeah... I'm here. I... haven't told you this story before?" I said in disbelief. Of course I hadn't told him. I could count on my hand the number of people that truly knew what had occurred on Overlord's Isle just over a year ago. I trailed away from the treeline and toward the lake shore, padding across sand and out onto the solitary dock that jutted out from the beach like a big middle finger to the natural beauty of the landscape.
"No... you always give me something about it being a long story and not wanting to bore me with it..." Shit. He got me there. That sounded just like me to do.
"Well... it is a long story... but I don't think you'd be bored by it. It um... well... ah... hmm. It started long before we ever actually went to the isle to eradicate the problem. I guess he had been an issue long before I had ever come here as well. But you know me, Hope, sometimes I just can't not do something about evil. And he was... yes, I wish there was a better word for it, but he was evil. Of the worst variety, the sort that couldn't be reasoned with and man... he had it out for children mostly, women too. The innocents..."
"I can see where this is going already..." Hope sounded exasperated already, his heavy sigh coming in clear despite the less than steady connection between us.
"Yeah. I'm sure you can. But anyways... we um, a few of us got together and decided that enough was enough. We weren't going to allow him to torment the city anymore and one night, one rather stormy night at that, we metaphorically stormed the castle. Five of us plus Shadow's cat Rumpel. Not like... a little cat, but a decent sized sort of familiar, you know? But we decided to take him out."
"The cat?"
"No, no. Him. Ngh, I hate saying his name. It tastes like poison on my tongue. Vanion. Elf, kinda like Shadow but not nearly as... what's the word, pure I guess. Elf with a superiority complex and what I'm figuring was a case of Small Dick Syndrome. Add all of that to his propensity toward torturing and killing innocent children and contributing to a religious genocide... well yeah, something had to be done. Anyways. Back to the story... we slogged through waves of mercenaries and cultists and I even nailed a dude with a cast iron skillet in the kitchen. He uh, had a little girl locked up in a freezer full of zombies on meat hooks. How's that for a visual?"
"By the gods, Claire, you're joking right?
"I wish I was, Estheim. We got her out of there thankfully but everything sort of got... crazy from there. We met a little ghost girl, that I don't think was who she said she was. Fought a giant undead dragon and uh, sorta went running through this nasty looking portal while the rest of the Keep crumbled around us. Zack and I ended up in this ****ed up sort of dream world or something. He ah... made me choose between Zack and Serah, who I could save. And once he'd made me choose, I ended up unable to save either of them..." I had to pause to regain my composure, the nightmarish scene playing out in my head as I spoke. It had tears burning along my lash line and my chest tight with constricted air. A soft sniffle clued Hope in and he softly cleared his throat.
"I'm sorry he did that to you, Light. I can't imagine." His quiet words were enough to urge me to continue.
"Everything got sort of dark after that and I don't... I don't know how much time, if any, that I lost. But we all made it through somehow and when we did, well, we finally got what we were looking for. The rest of it was... uh, a bit of a blur really. Lots of fighting... multiple Vanions. It was weird, but anyways. Somehow we did it. We overcame what could have definitely been a rather unfortunate end result. But that's what we do, people like you and I, Hope. We get shit done. And at the end, Vanion was dead and Rhy'Din was safe and we could all go home."
"It doesn't sound like it was that simple..." Hope said hesitantly. I couldn't help but laugh.
"It never is, is it? We got back to the isle's beach... everything was a disaster. But we could go home. Only... I wasn't going home, not Rhy'Din at least."
"That's when you came back as the Savior..." He put two and two together. Hope had always been a smart man, I imagined that would only continue to be the case as he got older. "So... you can't go back to the Isle because of that fight?"
"That's when I came back as the Savior, correct. When I came home from Chrysalia... I was a completely different person. And... a part of me died that night on the island, so when I came home, I just... stuffed it all away and swore to never think about it again."
"But... you saw how well that worked out last time you did it. This, you can't shut that away. You've got to talk about it, get it off your chest. Tell people. You did a good thing for the world that night, Light." His encouragement was sweet, really it was. But I sighed.
"When I say that a part of me died that night, I don't mean metaphorically. I... I had been shot, stabbed, beaten, toyed with mentally, and broken down until I really didn't want to go any further. Three nights before the mission... I found out I was pregnant. Only four weeks or so. I hadn't even had the chance to tell Noct..."
"Oh Light..." Hope had gone quiet, his words but a whisper.
"And when I came home... I wasn't anymore. So, no, it isn't killing Vanion that haunts me every time I look at that island. It's the fact I will never again know normalcy because I'm wired in such a way that says I have to save the world. No matter the personal cost. It's why I waste my free time taking part in stupid mock fights. Because my entire life is a fight. It always has been and it always will be. So why not get practice in and pretend that life is normal after I'm done. Vanion Shadowcast and that wretched island will forever symbolize the summation of my losses in life and my inability to keep those I care for safe. That, Hope, is why I couldn't go back there. Why I won't, ever again. Never."
"Well... what did you do?" Came the crackling buzz of Hope's voice in the receiver. The challenge was over, the twins were in bed, and I had slipped away from Noctis, intent on a short walk to clear my head. The woods were unusually quiet so I took care not to stray too far into them as I paced barefoot through the grass. Silence fell between the two of us and it wasn't until Hope spoke again that I realized I needed to talk. "Light? You still there?
"Yeah... I'm here. I... haven't told you this story before?" I said in disbelief. Of course I hadn't told him. I could count on my hand the number of people that truly knew what had occurred on Overlord's Isle just over a year ago. I trailed away from the treeline and toward the lake shore, padding across sand and out onto the solitary dock that jutted out from the beach like a big middle finger to the natural beauty of the landscape.
"No... you always give me something about it being a long story and not wanting to bore me with it..." Shit. He got me there. That sounded just like me to do.
"Well... it is a long story... but I don't think you'd be bored by it. It um... well... ah... hmm. It started long before we ever actually went to the isle to eradicate the problem. I guess he had been an issue long before I had ever come here as well. But you know me, Hope, sometimes I just can't not do something about evil. And he was... yes, I wish there was a better word for it, but he was evil. Of the worst variety, the sort that couldn't be reasoned with and man... he had it out for children mostly, women too. The innocents..."
"I can see where this is going already..." Hope sounded exasperated already, his heavy sigh coming in clear despite the less than steady connection between us.
"Yeah. I'm sure you can. But anyways... we um, a few of us got together and decided that enough was enough. We weren't going to allow him to torment the city anymore and one night, one rather stormy night at that, we metaphorically stormed the castle. Five of us plus Shadow's cat Rumpel. Not like... a little cat, but a decent sized sort of familiar, you know? But we decided to take him out."
"The cat?"
"No, no. Him. Ngh, I hate saying his name. It tastes like poison on my tongue. Vanion. Elf, kinda like Shadow but not nearly as... what's the word, pure I guess. Elf with a superiority complex and what I'm figuring was a case of Small Dick Syndrome. Add all of that to his propensity toward torturing and killing innocent children and contributing to a religious genocide... well yeah, something had to be done. Anyways. Back to the story... we slogged through waves of mercenaries and cultists and I even nailed a dude with a cast iron skillet in the kitchen. He uh, had a little girl locked up in a freezer full of zombies on meat hooks. How's that for a visual?"
"By the gods, Claire, you're joking right?
"I wish I was, Estheim. We got her out of there thankfully but everything sort of got... crazy from there. We met a little ghost girl, that I don't think was who she said she was. Fought a giant undead dragon and uh, sorta went running through this nasty looking portal while the rest of the Keep crumbled around us. Zack and I ended up in this ****ed up sort of dream world or something. He ah... made me choose between Zack and Serah, who I could save. And once he'd made me choose, I ended up unable to save either of them..." I had to pause to regain my composure, the nightmarish scene playing out in my head as I spoke. It had tears burning along my lash line and my chest tight with constricted air. A soft sniffle clued Hope in and he softly cleared his throat.
"I'm sorry he did that to you, Light. I can't imagine." His quiet words were enough to urge me to continue.
"Everything got sort of dark after that and I don't... I don't know how much time, if any, that I lost. But we all made it through somehow and when we did, well, we finally got what we were looking for. The rest of it was... uh, a bit of a blur really. Lots of fighting... multiple Vanions. It was weird, but anyways. Somehow we did it. We overcame what could have definitely been a rather unfortunate end result. But that's what we do, people like you and I, Hope. We get shit done. And at the end, Vanion was dead and Rhy'Din was safe and we could all go home."
"It doesn't sound like it was that simple..." Hope said hesitantly. I couldn't help but laugh.
"It never is, is it? We got back to the isle's beach... everything was a disaster. But we could go home. Only... I wasn't going home, not Rhy'Din at least."
"That's when you came back as the Savior..." He put two and two together. Hope had always been a smart man, I imagined that would only continue to be the case as he got older. "So... you can't go back to the Isle because of that fight?"
"That's when I came back as the Savior, correct. When I came home from Chrysalia... I was a completely different person. And... a part of me died that night on the island, so when I came home, I just... stuffed it all away and swore to never think about it again."
"But... you saw how well that worked out last time you did it. This, you can't shut that away. You've got to talk about it, get it off your chest. Tell people. You did a good thing for the world that night, Light." His encouragement was sweet, really it was. But I sighed.
"When I say that a part of me died that night, I don't mean metaphorically. I... I had been shot, stabbed, beaten, toyed with mentally, and broken down until I really didn't want to go any further. Three nights before the mission... I found out I was pregnant. Only four weeks or so. I hadn't even had the chance to tell Noct..."
"Oh Light..." Hope had gone quiet, his words but a whisper.
"And when I came home... I wasn't anymore. So, no, it isn't killing Vanion that haunts me every time I look at that island. It's the fact I will never again know normalcy because I'm wired in such a way that says I have to save the world. No matter the personal cost. It's why I waste my free time taking part in stupid mock fights. Because my entire life is a fight. It always has been and it always will be. So why not get practice in and pretend that life is normal after I'm done. Vanion Shadowcast and that wretched island will forever symbolize the summation of my losses in life and my inability to keep those I care for safe. That, Hope, is why I couldn't go back there. Why I won't, ever again. Never."
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