Excerpts from "Confessions Of Eternal Love"

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Gren Blockman
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Excerpts from "Confessions Of Eternal Love"

Post by Gren Blockman »

The following is an excerpt from “Confessions Of Eternal Love”, Gren’s favorite “adult drama”. This is from the June issue, which features a cover of Charlton tied to a chair, looking up with a frightened expression, while the shapely shadow of a woman falls over him. It is titled, “WHO kidnapped Dr. Charlton?”:

We find our hero, Doctor Charlton Kowalski, struggling listlessly against the steel reinforced rope that binds him to his chair in an otherwise empty and shadowy room. He can only grimace in frustration as he finds his arms and hands securely fastened behind him.

“Some evil work is afoot here. Lucille and I were enjoying Chardonnay and Gruyere at a four star Swiss chalet when I suddenly felt faint and lost consciousness. I awoke to find myself bound in this room. What can it all mean? Perhaps I can use the ancient martial arts that I was taught by the Tibetan Monks to bend my wrists and escape my bonds . . . ”

Before Charlton could perform a miraculous feat of dexterity, the lone door suddenly and slowly swung open, the creaking sound it made sent ominous chills down his spine.

“Whoever you are, I demand you tell me what this is about! And where is my Lucille?”

“Oh, you will find out soon enough, darling”, the voice replied. It was a familiar, feminine voice. A rapid clicking of high heels sounded as the figure that opened the door stepped towards him. She remained hidden in the shadows as she approached. “Don’t you recognize my voice? The voice that purred so many sweet nothings into your ear in Venice? Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten your ex-lover . . . MARGOT!”


<<DRAMATIC, INTENSE ORGAN MUSIC!!!>>*

*Dramatic, Intense Organ Music courtesy of the audio version of “Confessions Of Eternal Love”, for the elderly and hard of hearing


Charlton gaped in shock as the woman stepped from the shadows in front of him. He did indeed remember the voluptuous redhead with the piercing green eyes. She wore a form fitting red velvet dress, with a mink shawl about her shoulders. She leaned down and curled her full lips back in a smile of contempt and triumph.

“I finally caught you, Charlton. I knew you couldn’t resist the taste of Chardonnay and Gruyere.”

“How dare you, Margot? Using my love of Chardonnay and Gruyere against me! If you wanted to talk to me, all you had to do was come see me in my Free Clinic for Geneva’s Widows and Orphans!”

Margot whipped away from Charlton, laying her hand across her forehead. “Oh, you and those damned widows and orphans! You never cared about what really mattered to me! Fur Coats! Diamonds! Maseratis! Mutual Funds with High Yielding Dividends!”

“That’s right, Margot. All you cared about were worldly possessions. You never wanted my love. If you hadn’t ran off to one party after another at Venice . . . if you would have stayed with me while I tried to get my Children’s Hospital off the ground . . . “

“Enough of your sanctimonious garbage, Charlton!” Margot whipped her head back to level an icy stare at him. Then her lips twisted into a playful grin as she strutted back towards him. “We had some . . . hot nights, didn’t we, Charlton? Remember how I used to enjoy Cherry Vodka? And how I could tie a knot in a cherry stem with my tongue?” Margot leaned down towards him, close enough that he could smell her heavily saturated perfume.

“Silence you vile temptress! Do you think I would let you seduce me again? After all you’ve done to me? Tying me up? Denying me my Lucille? And you seem to forget why we parted in Venice. That night. That party. The one on the Grand Canal. The one with the Veneto wine and Asiago cheese.”

Margot scoffs defiantly.

“Yes, you know the one. When I went upstairs at the palazzo to find you in bed with . . . . MITCH!”


<<DRAMATIC, INTENSE ORGAN MUSIC!!!>>


“How dare you throw that in my face! I was hurt and confused after my father was killed in that freak squall in the Adriatic Sea! You just couldn’t handle a strong, impulsive woman like me, Charlton. You’d rather have your pity case, your crazy Lucille! Fine. Be the loving Doctor. But I will have my revenge on you for walking out on me. *Nobody* walks out on Margot Beauchamp!” She throws her head back in a haughty gesture.

“Do your worst, you cold-hearted seductress!”

“Oh, I will, Charlton. In fact, I already have. As you say, there is one thing I am an expert at, other than organizing teams of ninjas and RPG wielding mercenaries.”

“So that was YOU on the French Riviera!”

Margot laughed mockingly. “Of course. My powers of seduction are unrivaled. And I used them on someone you know quite well. Someone who just finished his service as a Navy Seal. Someone who used to be your best friend back at the University of Oxford. Someone who you joined the Cricket Club with. Yes, Charlton. He never forgave you for striking him with that Cricket bat. Mangling his hand and ruining his chances of ever becoming a world famous brain surgeon. I’m talking about . . . CHET!”


<<DRAMATIC, INTENSE ORGAN MUSIC!!!>>


Charlton looked to the door in astonishment. Another figure walked through the shadows to stand before him. It was a handsome man with curly blonde hair, wearing the white sweater of the Oxford University Cricket Club. He smirked at Charlton, and the scarred knuckles of his right hand could be seen as he suggestively patted a cricket bat into his left palm. Charlton’s look changed to one of anger and apprehension. Chet then sneered at Charlton as Margot wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Knock him out of the park, my darling Chet!”

“That’s baseball, not cricket.”

“I don’t care, just HIT HIM!” Margot points her finger at Charlton imperiously.

Slowly, Chet raised the cricket bat over his head with a menacing glare leveled at the helpless Charlton.


Is this the end for Doctor Charlton? Can he find a way to escape the revenge-crazed Margot and Chet? Will he ever be reunited with his true love, Lucille? Be here next month for our special July issue as Margot and Chet go “bat”-ty for Charlton!
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Post by Gren Blockman »

The following is an excerpt from “Confessions of Eternal Love”, the special July 4th issue, which features a cover of Lulu the Amazonian warrior in a catfight with Margot Beauchamp, while Charlton and Chet watch behind them with what can either be a shocked or a mildly aroused expression. It is titled, “LuLu Unleashed!!!”

We last left our hero, Doctor Charlton Kowalski, tied to a chair in an unknown room, at the mercy of his former lover Margot Beauchamp and his former best friend Chet, who have formed an unholy alliance to exact bloody revenge. Can Charlton escape their evil clutches? Or is he and Lucille doomed?


Chet’s wooden cricket bat is poised dangerously over Charlton’s head, as Margot looks on with gleeful anticipation. Charlton, at first fearing the worst, has a sudden idea illuminate his mind. He narrows his eyes at Chet and began to chant:

Men of Pi Rho Epsilon Pi!
We’re the best, we cannot lie!
Don’t be coy and don’t be shy!
Punch our foes right in the eye!
Goooo PREP!

Chet looked stunned, and he paused in the downward motion of the bat. Then his face twisted in anger. “I have seen some dirty, underhanded tricks from you, but to have you use our fraternity chant against me, that just takes the cake. You no longer deserved to wear the PREP badge.”

“You forgot what it means to be a PREP, Chet. And you forget that no one is a bigger PREP than I am. I can spot a PREP a mile away, and you are no longer PREP material.”

“Any comradeship we had is long gone, Charlton. I will not suffer your insults any longer. *I* am in control here! And when I cave your skull in with this cricket bat, I will have the sweet revenge I so richly deserve after 10 years of suffering! *I* should have been the one to become a doctor! I had the skill, the ambition, the drive! But when you shattered my hand when your bat slipped from your grasp, my dream died. I had to change career paths, into the much less prestigious but equally rewarding world of Accounting!”

“Tell me again about Flow-Through Shares and Limited Partnerships!” Margot cooed at Chet, twirling her fingers in his curly blonde hair.

“Oh, that I had the time, my sweet. But that will come later! Right now it is time . . . for REVENGE!” Chet’s bat came up again in the ready position, but this time he is interrupted as the door behind them swings open to reveal another feminine form. The figure strode towards the other three, and as the light fell upon her, it revealed a woman with long, honey blonde hair wearing a leotard made of jaguar skin. She placed her hands on her hips and glared down Margot.

“So, you thought to cage LuLu the Amazonian Warrior! But no prison can hold me! I am as free as the air that blows through the rainforest!”
“What are you talking about, you psycho!” Margot shrieked. “You’re not “LuLu”, that’s just one of your multiple personalities! You’re . . . LUCILLE!”

<<DRAMATIC, INTENSE ORGAN MUSIC!!!>>

“My Lucille!” Charlton exclaimed. “You are here! I too shall free myself, using the Double Jointed Technique of the Tibetan Dragon Clan! YAAAAAAH!” With a few quick twists of his arms, the ropes that bound Charlton’s arms and hands suddenly fell in a pile beneath his chair. He leapt into a standing position before Chet. “Now, my erstwhile friend, it is time to bring you to justice!”

Chet swung the cricket bat at Charlton’s head, but Charlton caught it and the two men struggled over the wooden weapon. LuLu leaped at Margot, screaming an Amazonian war cry, and they began rolling around on the ground pulling at each other’s hair. Charlton ripped the bat out of Chet’s hands and smashed it over his head, causing Chet to crumple in a heap on the ground. LuLu delivered a devastating right to Margot’s eye, causing her to go limp while LuLu stood over her with her hands on her hips triumphantly.

“Lucille! How did you free yourself from their trap?” Charlton said.

“It should be obvious, LuLu is stronger than the mighty Anaconda, no barrier can stop her! It is strange this name you call me by . . . Lucille . . . It sounds so . . . . ohhhhh . . . . “ LuLu’s legs become wobbly and as she faints, Charlton runs to her and sweeps her up in his arms. Lightly touching her forehead and fluttering her lashes, she looks up at him and brushes his face with her fingertips. “Oh, my dear Charlton, I had another one of those dreams. I was a mighty warrior princess trying to free herself from an iron cage. It seemed so real . . . “, she extends her fingers out as if touching the memory, “. . . OH! . . . I’m dressed in the jaguar skin again!”

“It will all be alright now, my dear. We need to make our escape!”

“Don’t think you’ve won, you self-righteous worm!” Margot yelled, while rising into a sitting position, holding her hand over her bruised eye. “This isn’t over yet! Oh, my poor Chet!”

“amortized . . . debt . . . discount . . . “ Chet replied, groggily, from the floor.

“Damn you, Charlton! But I have one last surprise for you! Where do you think you’re going to escape to? Your precious Free Clinic for Geneva’s Widows and Orphans? By the time you get there, it will be nothing but rubble! Because I left you a final parting gift . . . a BOMB!!!”

<<DRAMATIC, INTENSE ORGAN MUSIC!!!>>

“You will pay for your foul villainy, Margot! But right now we need to save my Free Clinic and all those unfortunates within! Come, Margot, we must find a way to stop this evil plot!” Taking Lucille’s hand, Charlton races from the room and down the corridor.

Can Charlton and Lucille reach the Free Clinic in time? Or will Margot and Chet have the last laugh? And will Lucille ever realize why she’s wearing that jaguar skin leotard? Be here for the next issue, which we guarantee will be a “bomb”-astic experience!
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