Week Two Wrap Up & Week Three Previews

[Wynn Whittaker]

Week Two Wrap Up & Week Three Previews
By Wynn Whittaker for the Rhydin Review

Man oh man, talk about one heck of a week. The venues were on fire all week and even outside of Hydra we saw some amazing action. But I’m not getting paid to talk about that, so let’s take a look at how this past week went. Then maybe I can throw together some previews for Hydra Week Three. Sound like a plan? All right then.

Hydra-Foil at Team Fist

Going into this week, Foilers Captain Eden, feisty little thing that she is, knew she had a lot to prove. Pitting a lineup of Juliane, herself, and Bailey up against Fist’s Kheldar, Lilith, and Kalamere. Surprisingly, despite neither team being particularly proficient at Magic, they both put their Wild Card points on the Magic match. Just like I called it, Eden made easy work of that Lilith lass. So Eden, whenever you get over being mad at me, give me a call, okay Dimples? Outside of that, Kheldar wrecked as I expected, putting Jules down 5-2 and in a surprise upset, Bailey trounced Kalamere, 5.5-2. This next week HFO visits our favorite baddies Chemical Burn and TMF will take a trip to see our other favorite baddies Deathcake.

Rock Hards at Deathcake

Just like Hydra-Foil and Team Fist, this match up saw a double Wild Card match out of the swords pairing. Originally, we thought we’d see Sabine face Red, but much like last week, Captain Kruger stepped in to do Big Red’s job and I’ve got to say, he didn’t disappoint. What should have been a surefire win for Sabine at that point quickly went awry when Kruger overcame and claimed not only the win but both team’s Wild Card points. Noah overcame Salvador despite my prediction to the contrary and even though Rachael and Canaan haven’t fought as of press time, it won’t matter anyways. The Rock Hards take it. ROC hangs with Royal Pain this week and DCK hosts Team Fist.

Royal Pain at Chemical Burn

While there was no double Wild Card match here, there was definitely no shortage of excitement. Tuesday saw former Archmage (though she was Archmage at the time) Rena Cronin blast the holy hell out of Chemical Burn’s Bile. Minion sought to avenge this loss and contrary to my predictions, bested RPN’s April Brell. In a total stunner, though really I shouldn’t be surprised, Jewell overcame her best friend’s future husband (I think?), 5-3 to claim the win, the wild card points, and the week. Jewell, baby, give me a call. Tara can too if she’s too ashamed to be seen with Anubis after that also. Coming up, RPN will host Kruger’s Rock Hards and CHM takes on the Hydra-Foil.



Week Three Predictions

Week Three, Week Three. We have officially reached the midway point of the regular Hydra season. Can you believe it? It feels like only yesterday I was predicting Team Fist would win it all and now they’re just barely in the game. I can’t even. I just can’t! While I cry over my Fist Nation gear, I guess I’ll give you a preview of the next week.

This week Hydra-Foil takes a visit to Chemical Burn. Now, had you asked me at the beginning of the season who I thought would take this without knowing the lineup, I would have told you Chemical Burn hands down. But it seems like someone, and I’m not saying it’s me (but it is), lit a fire under Eden’s cute rump and now Hydra-Foil is en fuego! On the other hand, Chemical Burn is coming off of a rough loss to Jewell’s Royal Pains. Really it could go either way. Let’s go ahead and break it down.

In Fists, Chemical Burn is betting their Wild Card points on Xanth van Bokkelen, Scourge of Libraries, to overcome Mason Harrigan, Scourge of Ladies Underthings. I just made that up by the way. Disclaimer, Mister Harrigan is married and we are not responsible if his wife smacks the crap out of any chick ballsy enough to go after him. Don’t mess with the Mister Eva. Xanth’s an emerald with plenty of experience under his belt while Mason, is cute. Nothing personal but if Xanth loses this, he needs to hand over his Bad Guy card.

Prediction: Xanth vanBokkelen defeats Mason Harrigan, 5-3

Over in Magic, we’ll see Deathlord’s Minion take on Crazy Legs Juliane. Has anyone heard that girl? She has got one hell of a set of pipes on her. And that’s not a euphemism. Juliane took home some prizes in some magic shindig or other, I wasn’t paying attention, but I’d say she might have the oomph to outdo Minion. Minion better bring her A Game if she wants any sort of a chance.

Prediction: Juliane Smith defeats Minion of Deathlord, 5-3.5

Rounding out the match, the rather interesting Bailey Raptis will face the equally enthralling Bile in Swords. Bailey should be riding high on a win over Kalamere from TMF last week, while Bile not only lost his Magic match to Rena, also lost his bid for Overlord against Rand. Ouch. Rand’s pretty and all, but we all know the only sword he can work decently is the one in his pants. I’d almost bet on Bile dropping another match here. Bailey will get those Wild Card points too. Granted, Anubis wasn’t too hot in his Swords match last week, I still think he would have been better than Bile in this spot. Just my two cents though. What do I know, I’m just a smug sports writer.

Prediction: Bailey Raptis defeats Bile, 5-4

By the grace of the gods above, I honestly, truly believe that the Foilers might pull this one off. I shouldn’t say anything more or else Eden will yell at me again. We’ll just leave it at Hydra Foil takes this one. Sorry Team Xanth.

Next we’ll see Rock Hards and Royal Pain. These two IFL vet teams should be well acquainted with one another. Captains Kruger and Jewell even did some advertising for Jake Thrash’s booze line here awhile back. That said, that makes this either ultra personal or the best shot we have at a good, friendly competition. Secretly, I’m hoping for the former.

Kruger will be serenading Rena in Fists this week while Rena tries to punch his face in and take home the Wild Card points. I’m not really sure what has gotten into me, but I’m feeling The Anvil might have what it takes to pull this one off. It’s nothing against Rena or anything, it’s just that undeniably unpredictable Anvil charm.

Prediction: Kruger defeats Rena Cronin, 5-3

Over in Magic, we’ll see Rachael face off against Eva. This one seems fairly straight forward and obvious. Eva’s cute, don’t get me wrong, but Rachael’s got the Mage weight behind her and some solid showings lately. Really, this is making me sound like I’ve got it out for the Pains, I don’t! I just think Kruger might have done a better job with the line up.

Prediction: Rachael Douglas defeats Eva Luna, 5-2.5

Rounding out the heap, Mister Mouthful of a Name takes on Shae in the Swords match. Spider has been hot, hot, hot and no matter how strong Shae is, I don’t think she’ll be enough of a force to stop him. Sorry Pains, I’m trumping this one up for the Rock Hards. Okay, sorry not sorry. I still think you’re all very lovely.

Prediction: Spider defeats Shae, 5-3

Thanks to some strategic planning, Kruger seemed to outmaneuver Jewell’s pawns, I mean Pains, for a better lineup. Granted, we could still see Subs thrown into the mix, so this could all change. And honestly, Jewell may want to consider it if she wants her team to have a chance. Just saying!

Last and maybe least, we have Team Fist and Deathcake. Both teams have been ridiculously underwhelming and I almost don’t want to take a look at this one. Do I have to? My editor is nodding at me while I hem and haw about doing this, so I guess that’s a yes. Let me grab another cup of coffee and see what we’ve got.

First up, we’ve got a Fists match between Lilith and Sabine. So. What do I say about that? Lilith failed miserably in her magic match against Captain Dimples of HFO and left the ring crying about how hard Magic is. Considering the girl has an Emerald in the Outback, I think Colonel Simon maybe threw the girl a bone and gave her a shot in a spot that any of the other four on Team Fist were just as suited for, if not more so. After all, they’re called Team Fist. But I suppose it’s better than risking it in one of the other sports. Sabine dropped her match too against Kruger, though I suppose it’s a little more understandable. That Kruger, he gets me every time. Either way, two emeralds of relatively newish status could make for an interesting fight. I think Sabine will edge it out.

Prediction: Sabine defeats Lilith, 5-4

In Magic we’ll be seeing Andrea Anderson up against Aoife Duggan. Andrea by and large has the experience advantage here, having held the Tower of Water twice. She’s a solid performer that most of the time can be counted on to get the job done. Aoife is adorable though. Like cheek pinching adorable, if you’re the sort to risk life and limb to pinch someone’s cheeks. Adorable doesn’t win duels though, I think this one goes to Apple. She might even pick up DCK’s wild card points.

Prediction: Apple defeats Aoife Duggan, 5-2

Last but probably not least, we can hope, is Kheldar against Skid for Swords. Fist put two extra points down on this one, so let’s hope Kheldar gets the job done. You might remember Mister Drasinia of Wrecking Crew fame for that beautiful triple sport threat that he is. You might remember Skid for his run as the Governor of Pancakes. I mean Governor of Rhydin. Pancakes and Iron Fists League skills are nice and all, but nothing quite beats the tried and true Crew blue hiding under the Team Fist banner.

Prediction: Kheldar defeats Skid, 5-3.5

Depending on a few things here and there, we’ll either see Deathcake flop even more or Team Fist continue to sink. Either way, I wouldn’t really call a win this week much of an accomplishment for either one. But I will say this, come on Team Fist! Pull your heads out of your [redacted] and get to work!

Critical Matches to Watch:
Juliane & Minion (DoM-HFO/CHM)
Kruger & Rena (DoF-ROC/RPN)
Kheldar & Skid (DoS-TMF/DCK)

And with that, Wynn is out for the week! Be sure to hit up the venues every night this week for Hydra and other dueling fun. Until next time, Hail Hydra!