A Call For Mutual Respect in Our Community

Everything else, including the kitchen sink.

Moderator: Staff

User avatar
Aiden Harper
Adventurer
Adventurer
Posts: 21
Joined: Mon Jun 04, 2018 10:15 pm
Location: Alvaka, RhyDin, Maadi

Re: A Call For Mutual Respect in Our Community

Post by Aiden Harper »

You’re right, Max. I wouldn’t go over to my neighbor’s house and stomp on their flowers. I wouldn’t do that, in part, because THEY own that garden. You do not own Twilight Isle. As I understand it, it is a COMMUNITY setting. That means the entire community of players owns it and should be allowed to have their characters react to it…be it good or bad reactions….without being chastised so long as they are following the community guidelines. As far as I could see, these players/characters were NOT being disruptive by ANY means. In fact, they were offering fodder for other players and characters to react to, thereby creating play. How is this a BAD thing?

I honestly don’t care if you, as a player, have an axe to grind about something….just don’t grind it on players who are playing the game by the established guidelines. Don’t berate players who offer sincere apologies when someone points out that their play is causing discomfort. Don’t expect players to censor perfectly reasonable and cooperative play because YOU’VE had enough. That’s completely ridiculous.

I'm GLAD you were able to have one-on-one talks with the players involved with this incident and work things out. That's a very good thing. But all I, the outsider, am seeing in this string of posts is people telling me I should have my characters ‘play nice’ cause it might offend a PLAYER. That’s a reasonable request…to a point. I don’t think that point was breached in the incident in question. Not even close.
User avatar
Royal
Expert Adventurer
Expert Adventurer
Posts: 720
Joined: Fri Feb 06, 2015 10:41 pm
Location: Twilight Isle, where she both lives and works.

Re: A Call For Mutual Respect in Our Community

Post by Royal »

I think you're missing this key phrase from Max's post: All Duel of Magic is asking of the community is to please be respectful of the setting DURING AN EVENT.

No one is telling them they can't complain about magic. It seems all that's being asked is to be respectful during an ongoing event for a night. And from what I've read, players seem to be willing to do just that. But if you'd rather stretch it to be all encompassing then I can't do much to stop you.

It's much like saying "Please no violence or conflict at this event. We're trying to create a fun environment."

If you're turned off from dueling because what is being asked for is basic levels of respect, then I think that says more about you than dueling.
User avatar
Royal
Expert Adventurer
Expert Adventurer
Posts: 720
Joined: Fri Feb 06, 2015 10:41 pm
Location: Twilight Isle, where she both lives and works.

Re: A Call For Mutual Respect in Our Community

Post by Royal »

I also want to state this since the Guidelines are being used to say why behavior should be allowed. What is being asked is not an order, it is not a ultimatum that players will be punished should they not do as they are told. It is simply asking, as Claire put it, "Can you not" during an event. You (general) could very well choose to have your character arrive to the next Duel of Magic event and do much of the same that caused this thread and perpetuate the ongoing issue. You wouldn't be punished by the rules of the guidelines. But I am sure there will be those who look upon it as a pretty dick move.

I understand that players who felt blindsided by the thread are upset and feel as if their fun is being trampled on, but we can put the shoe on the other foot and realize that the feelings of those speaking up that disliked the negativity had felt much of the same — by having their events brought down by the negative actions of a few players. While this thread may have ruffled some feathers it has brought players together to discuss and that hopefully a mutual understanding can be established between them.

I do not think it's much to ask that we respect one another when it comes to events and the type of atmosphere we are wanting to create for it.
User avatar
Aiden Harper
Adventurer
Adventurer
Posts: 21
Joined: Mon Jun 04, 2018 10:15 pm
Location: Alvaka, RhyDin, Maadi

Re: A Call For Mutual Respect in Our Community

Post by Aiden Harper »

I didn’t miss that part, Royal, I simply consider it irrelevant. Basic levels of respect should be part of the standards for play that exist in a community setting regardless of any Events that might be transpiring at the time.

The players/characters in this instance respected the setting. They reacted to it with reasonable and interactive game play that was neither disruptive nor egregiously offensive. They followed the rules while staying true to their characters without making that big a deal about it. Yet because their reactions were negative, they were not welcome.

I will never agree that it is ok to ask community members to curtail their gameplay when they are following the rules and guidelines set down by the community as a whole. The very fact that we are being asked to only type bright, shiny, happy, positive things to a room at any time is what’s speaking loud and clear to me.
User avatar
Royal
Expert Adventurer
Expert Adventurer
Posts: 720
Joined: Fri Feb 06, 2015 10:41 pm
Location: Twilight Isle, where she both lives and works.

Re: A Call For Mutual Respect in Our Community

Post by Royal »

Then there is no point in continuing on with the conversation. If that is how you feel then that is how it is, and no matter what is posted contrary to that belief will most likely sway you. Thank you for contributing to this thread.
User avatar
Aiden Harper
Adventurer
Adventurer
Posts: 21
Joined: Mon Jun 04, 2018 10:15 pm
Location: Alvaka, RhyDin, Maadi

Re: A Call For Mutual Respect in Our Community

Post by Aiden Harper »

You're right, Royal. There's no reason for you and I to continue the conversation. I'm open to explaining my position to anyone else who might have a question, however, as I am not done contributing :)
User avatar
PrlUnicorn
Expert Adventurer
Expert Adventurer
Posts: 1191
Joined: Thu Jun 15, 2006 4:48 pm
Location: Navarra

Re: A Call For Mutual Respect in Our Community

Post by PrlUnicorn »

Max Lager wrote: Sun Nov 15, 2020 4:31 pm So everyone, if you must be upset at anyone, if you must imagine that anyone is asking players to censor their characters, place that on me. I will not apologize for how I have felt for years, I will not believe that my feelings are ridiculous or that I’m overly sensitive, but if you think so: go right ahead. I am not sure how I can otherwise change your mind.
Max, you're not being overly sensitive nor are your feelings ridiculous. There's a vast difference between having an expectation of certain behavior during planned events and wanting people to censor their characters' behavior at all times. While characters being uncomfortable around magic is rather benign, other things are not. I used to find the constant prodding of "Duel me or you're a coward" grating. I would avoid the characters/players using those tactics and like you, I said nothing. All that silence did was encourage that behavior and isolate me from something I enjoy and cause me to stew over it. When no one says, "Hey, you're bugging me," people don't know there's anything wrong.

One pretty much expects that there might be a fist fight in the Red Dragon on any given night. Golden Perch, not so much, as the gnome sisters are likely to nip that in the bud fast! In Star's End, people used to duck and weave around the people throwing down. It was the norm in a spacer bar frequented by smugglers and other lawless folk.

A few years back, people began posting notices and disclaimers with events that stated things like: "Please be respectful and keep this event nonviolent." After a while, it didn't seem to be necessary as nonviolent public events became the normal expectation. If someone was allowing a free for all, it was often posted with an expected time or cue as to when things hit the fan. It gave those those wanting to enjoy the event, but not engage in a confrontation to leave.

Like warning labels on things or parents telling their children to not touch the hot stove, the disclaimers/requests began after people decided to, for lack of a better phrase, lay waste to events people worked hard on for the enjoyment of the rest of the community. Tossing a virus into a Founder's Day event or staging a murder during a large scale event without the consent of the organizers was rude at best to both the organizers and those that had come out to enjoy a happy fun time.

Do we need the constant reminders again? I don't know, maybe we do.

ETA: Royal already said some of what I did. I just added examples.
Post Reply

Return to “Thoughts at Large”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests